Hints if You're Not Sure You're OLD

[zionoir626]

No.1
A super hot chick calls you SIR...

No.2
If your log is moved to the Vet section...(Mont)

No.3
If you have to lie about why you're buying something.. I'm helping my father and that's why I'm getting baby wipes..

Feel free to add to this extensive list..

Disclaimer
For entertainment purposes only

 

[Multislacking]

#3 Wipes...I don't care what anyone thinks about my butt hygiene. I'm gonna use them.

To add to your list:

1) AARP sends you mail daily

2) The waitress tries to give you the senior discount (and you take it because you enjoy saving money)

3) You no longer find yourself flirting with girls in bars, etc. Instead you're flirting with all the nurses you now see. And you suddenly realize you have a fetish for scrubs and panty lines.

Nurse: "You have such nice veins!"
Me: "That's nothing. I got this one you should see."

 

[zionoir626]

I knew you'd like this topic...

 

[MindlessWork]

4. Something is always hurting.



Lol already have my AARP card paid for for 10 years.

 

[MindlessWork]

5. Being more forgetful.

 

[hot rod]

6)U need zinc- because it keeps ur back from petering out and ur peter from backing out- 7) u get hurt- STRETCHING! 8) and u get WAY too familiar w/ ur asshole or anus because u get an anal fissure(tear in your asshole) btw- totally agree w/ the hygiene- thinking about just getting the bedae(spelling)- gotta be french- and getting it overwith- just take the old asshole bath- and no Multi u can't stay on it ALL DAY!

 

[Multislacking]

6)U need zinc- because it keeps ur back from petering out and ur peter from backing out- 7) u get hurt- STRETCHING! 8) and u get WAY too familiar w/ ur asshole or anus because u get an anal fissure(tear in your asshole) btw- totally agree w/ the hygiene- thinking about just getting the bedae(spelling)- gotta be french- and getting it overwith- just take the old asshole bath- and no Multi u can't stay on it ALL DAY!

It's not gay as long as there is no penetration. BTW, did I mention how awesome hot tub sex is? Yeahhhh...

 

[Clive Mossmoon]

To add on to the hot chick calling you sir -- I knew I was old when the last police officer that pulled me over for speeding, let me go because I looked like his dad. 25 year-old whippersnappers pulling over my Crown Vic when I got places to go...

 

[MindlessWork]

To add on to the hot chick calling you sir -- I knew I was old when the last police officer that pulled me over for speeding, let me go because I looked like his dad. 25 year-old whippersnappers pulling over my Crown Vic when I got places to go...

Cool story sir!

 

[Koolio]

After a heavy squat workout you piss blood...

 

[Rot-Iron66]

Wipes are a must, clean ass crew all the way.
Like Mindless said, something (in my case "everything") is always hurting/in pain.
8 PM is my bed time, even on weekends.
I take Fiberlyze
The ancient ladies in my Ma's retirement community hit on me, the young gals ignore me.
I take Geritol

 

[ReadyOnDeck]

#3 Wipes...I don't care what anyone thinks about my butt hygiene. I'm gonna use them.

To add to your list:

1) AARP sends you mail daily

2) The waitress tries to give you the senior discount (and you take it because you enjoy saving money)

3) You no longer find yourself flirting with girls in bars, etc. Instead you're flirting with all the nurses you now see. And you suddenly realize you have a fetish for scrubs and panty lines.

Nurse: "You have such nice veins!"
Me: "That's nothing. I got this one you should see."

Are you sure you not an East Coast dude? Lmao. Wipes don't get a #, when you eat as much as I do, you gotta unload often.

 

[j2048b]

When ud rather sleep than party,

When ud rather stay home than go out

When things that never hurt suddenly do, , it hurts to get up, things suddenly crackle and pop ...

U sit on ur balls too often

 

[Redbird51]

When my balls hang lower and keep growing and my peter gets shorter and almost looks uncircumcised! But my guns are more magnificent then most 20 somethings. Hahaaa. I love aging!!

 

[Axemaker]

Best part of getting older, not giving a shit about anything

 

[Mastiff71]

Damned reading glasses are needed to come read the forum!

 

[E.J.D]

Are there really people in society not using baby or dude wipes? Prue savages they are lol. I've been using baby wipes for over 20 years now.

 

[Dimension02000]

Whenever you meet someone for the first time you automatically assume that they are an asshole until they prove you otherwise.

 

[AR-15]

Please please please don’t ever let me get old like all these old farts.

 

[zionoir626]

Everytime you start a new job you can find the Ahole..

You know what it means when you can't find the Ahole...??
You're the Ass Hole..!

 

[CoachCabo]

Lol at discounts. I had a lady ask me if I was over 55 once at a buffet. I asked why and she said I would get $1 off. I told her I’d pay $1 more if she’d not bring up the subject.

The post piss dribble thing drives me crazy. I think it started in my 40s to a lesser degree. Shake it, squeeze it, run your finger from under your ballsack up to the head to get out every drop. Then as soon as you pull up your skivvies, WHAMMO! Five or six drops of urine soak the front.

I haven’t resorted to panty liners like some cats do yet but man it bugs me more than just about everything else about being old.

Hair re-routing from the back of my head and now growing out of my ears is pretty annoying too.

 

[Multislacking]

Lol at discounts. I had a lady ask me if I was over 55 once at a buffet. I asked why and she said I would get $1 off. I told her I’d pay $1 more if she’d not bring up the subject.

The post piss dribble thing drives me crazy. I think it started in my 40s to a lesser degree. Shake it, squeeze it, run your finger from under your ballsack up to the head to get out every drop. Then as soon as you pull up your skivvies, WHAMMO! Five or six drops of urine soak the front.

I haven’t resorted to panty liners like some cats do yet but man it bugs me more than just about everything else about being old.

Hair re-routing from the back of my head and now growing out of my ears is pretty annoying too.

Dad: "No how many times I shake my peg, three drops are bound to fall on my leg."

I thought that was a funny rhyme as a kid...not so funny now that I know those days are soon ahead.

 

[zionoir626]

It's like my Wolf...I walk around naked after a piss,marking my territory..

 

[CoachCabo]

It's like my Wolf...I walk around naked after a piss,marking my territory..

I tried to blame it on our 18 year old dog. But my wife does my laundry and the dog doesn’t piss on or near the toilet so the jig was up on that excuse.

 

[Multislacking]

It's like my Wolf...I walk around naked after a piss,marking my territory..

In case you miss it in the other thread...

 

[zionoir626]

Right now I'm eating breakfast at Cracker Barrel and my waitress is smoking F-ing hot...maybe 22..blonde..kicking body..
Should I play the C card..Maybe her mom looks the same..

I might be old But I'm not dead..

 

[zionoir626]

Man her ass is like cardio...my heart is pounding..

 

[Multislacking]

Right now I'm eating breakfast at Cracker Barrel and my waitress is smoking F-ing hot...maybe 22..blonde..kicking body..
Should I play the C card..Maybe her mom looks the same..

I might be old But I'm not dead..

I may not be the dirtiest old man ever, but I'm confident I'll be in the top 10.

 

[zionoir626]

Thinking top 5
Don't sell yourself so short

 

[Multislacking]

Thinking top 5
Don't sell yourself so short

Thanks, brother. I try to stay humble.