Wife’s hrt and non-existent libido, my mental battle, seeking guidance

[Smokeshowin]

Guys I need sone help. My wife, who is 29, had an emergency hysterectomy 2 1/2 years ago after our last kid was born. She had serious bleeding and the procedure saved her life.Doc left her ovaries.

Before all this she had not decided to be done having kids. So when she woke up and was told you can no longer do the thing that you have been doing for years and makes up most of your identity, she was crushed. It was fucked up for both of us. She had trauma from not getting a say, I had trauma from having to process how I tell my 5 kids at home and newborn that their mom isn’t coming home again. Luckily she made a full recovery. But if you haven’t been in that spot I pray you never do. Staring down the barrel of raising 6 kids and losing your best friend is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Fast forward a bit and we start working through our issues but get sex drive is gone and she couldn’t sleep. I kept holding out hope that it was a side effect of the hysterectomy that would pass. She went to her gyno appointment in September and the doctor blew off her questions about sex drive and sleep telling her that I need to read a book about women’s sexuality and that having 6 kids means no sleep. I can’t be to mad at the bitch because she saved my wife’s life but fuck her.

I convinced her to get her hormones tested because she is just as upset as I am that her desire is gone. Her hormone doctor put her on progesterone and test cream. The progesterone helped her sleep which I thought would be a win. So far absolutely no changes in sex drive. I have been reading the threads here trying to educate myself on the female side of hrt and found many of you have experienced the same thing.

Her doctor has prescribed her injections to see if that would help. So far the doctor has been great and we are working towards fixing the issues. I’m trying my best here to hold onto hope but it’s been almost 3 years of zero desire from my wife. I’m not trying to get her to turn into a porn star or anything, it just sucks to be 30 and feel like you are not wanted sexually and may never be again. She is my best friend and I love her to death. But all the things I try to do to bring us closer and support her and show love, they make me love her more and want to be with her physically. She has tried to play the part but it feels like I’m just jerking off using her body. It feels dead. It’s causing me to have more bad days than good cause sex and desire are a huge part of a healthy marriage.

Have any of you here experienced something similar? Did injections change anything? Is there something I can study and read up on that might need to be added? Any tips on how to put on a smile and keep up with all the stresses of life, job, kids,etc. and try not to be a pouty bitch about it?

I’m trying my best not to complicate things for her. She feels bad enough about it I don’t want her to feel worse when she looks at me. I don’t want to start resentment on either of our parts.

Sorry for the long ass sob story. Had to get that shit off my chest. Everyone here has been awesome whenever anyone has questions and I figured y’all might have some insight to this.

 

[Fat Mike01]

this what i got from google
While a hysterectomy itself doesn't necessarily cause a loss of sex drive, the removal of ovaries during a hysterectomy (oophorectomy) can lead to hormonal changes that may affect libido, and some women may experience a decrease in sexual desire.

Have her try PT-141. Works instantly for guys with lost libido. Supposed to do same for chicks.

 

[Smokeshowin]

this what i got from google
While a hysterectomy itself doesn't necessarily cause a loss of sex drive, the removal of ovaries during a hysterectomy (oophorectomy) can lead to hormonal changes that may affect libido, and some women may experience a decrease in sexual desire.

Have her try PT-141. Works instantly for guys with lost libido. Supposed to do same for chicks.

She still has her ovaries. We tried Pt-141 and it worked some but she was nauseous bad. Had to put a trash can by the bed but hey it still happened. Maybe another try at it.

 

[Fat Mike01]

She still has her ovaries. We tried Pt-141 and it worked some but she was nauseous bad. Had to put a trash can by the bed but hey it still happened. Maybe another try at it.

yes it will create nasuea at first. Lower the dose significantly and work up. IF you guys give it a chance, it will most likely work

 

[Fat Mike01]

recommended dose is 1.5mg- 2mg. 1mg is plenty for a guy. Try .5 and work up as tolerance allows.

 

[Bolan]

She still has her ovaries. We tried Pt-141 and it worked some but she was nauseous bad. Had to put a trash can by the bed but hey it still happened. Maybe another try at it.

Hit her with 10mg Test Cyp a week........... Holy hell.
I had my Ex wife on that and she went nympho on me..... It was the best 3 months of my life....Told her she had to come off because her voice started getting "scratchy" Her clit was like a thumb. Constant sex....Public, Church, mall dressing rooms ETC freaky times.

 

[Smokeshowin]

recommended dose is 1.5mg- 2mg. 1mg is plenty for a guy. Try .5 and work up as tolerance allows.

I think I might have given her too much. I’ve taken 1.25 and it definitely worked. Thanks for the insight!

 

[Fat Mike01]

Hit her with 10mg Test Cyp a week........... Holy hell.
I had my Ex wife on that and she went nympho on me..... It was the best 3 months of my life....Told her she had to come off because her voice started getting "scratchy" Her clit was like a thumb. Constant sex....Public, Church, mall dressing rooms ETC freaky times.

ha thats great. he could probably inject that little bit sub q with insulin needle

 

[Smokeshowin]

Hit her with 10mg Test Cyp a week........... Holy hell.
I had my Ex wife on that and she went nympho on me..... It was the best 3 months of my life....Told her she had to come off because her voice started getting "scratchy" Her clit was like a thumb. Constant sex....Public, Church, mall dressing rooms ETC freaky times.

Her doc has her switched to injections after the cream is up. Should be next week. Worst case she can rob some of mine!

 

[Fat Mike01]

I think I might have given her too much. I’ve taken 1.25 and it definitely worked. Thanks for the insight!

yup. back it down. dont lose hope man. It probably hurts her more than it hurts you not being intimate

 

[Bolan]

ha thats great. he could probably inject that little bit sub q with insulin needle

It what we did... lol.
Crazy horny.

 

[Mshbmx]

There are many other people here that can chime in about female hrt that are much more experienced and knowledgeable than myself, so I won’t sit here and try to give you misinformation.

I will point out the obvious here and remind you that cortisol, our stress hormone will ABSOLUTELY CRUSH any progress you guys are making. Hormones can be completely controlled and the amount of stress and overthinking will ruin the mood or any Intimacy you are forcing to have.

It has happened to me before many times. I could be running compounds and life could just be hitting me at every single angle and I’m just so stressed and have so much on my plate I forget to realize what is actually happening in my day to day routine that I’m over here getting my bloodwork done literally looking for an issue, come to find out there is nothing wrong, and that I just haven’t sat down and taken any time to just simply take a minute for myself.

I’m not saying this is what’s happening but it could also be a reminder that you have a full house, family and are in the busiest part of your lives. Keep trying to find what works but most of all enjoy your time together and make sure she knows she isn’t under pressure. That doesn’t help. It sounds like she’s being proactive and just not putting out.

Best of luck!

 

[Smokeshowin]

yup. back it down. dont lose hope man. It probably hurts her more than it hurts you not being intimate

I’m sure it does. She says she doesn’t think about it but idk. I’m just trying to get through this chapter in life and not look back regretting how I acted or that I wasn’t there for her. Most important thing to me is to keep having a healthy relationship with her. Most of the guys I know don’t have the same relationship with their wives and I can’t ask them for advice. So I’m going at it mostly alone

 

[Smokeshowin]

There are many other people here that can chime in about female hrt that are much more experienced and knowledgeable than myself, so I won’t sit here and try to give you misinformation.

I will point out the obvious here and remind you that cortisol, our stress hormone will ABSOLUTELY CRUSH any progress you guys are making. Hormones can be completely controlled and the amount of stress and overthinking will ruin the mood or any Intimacy you are forcing to have.

It has happened to me before many times. I could be running compounds and life could just be hitting me at every single angle and I’m just so stressed and have so much on my plate I forget to realize what is actually happening in my day to day routine that I’m over here getting my bloodwork done literally looking for an issue, come to find out there is nothing wrong, and that I just haven’t sat down and taken any time to just simply take a minute for myself.

I’m not saying this is what’s happening but it could also be a reminder that you have a full house, family and are in the busiest part of your lives. Keep trying to find what works but most of all enjoy your time together and make sure she knows she isn’t under pressure. That doesn’t help. It sounds like she’s being proactive and just not putting out.

Best of luck!

Thank you for the reminder. I’ll make sure to take it into account the next time I start being a bitch about it in my head.

 

[Machforce1]

I think I might have given her too much. I’ve taken 1.25 and it definitely worked. Thanks for the insight!

Sounds like you have one hell of a woman and that’s pretty rare my man. Keep working at it and give her time. Not saying you will or have even considered it, but don’t mess around on her. It’ll bring far more misery than the ten minutes of excitement is worth in the long run.

 

[1_of_1]

Symptom or problem? Sometimes we try to solve things thinking it is a problem and make little progress because indeed it is a symptom of a problem not being addressed.

Only you two can decide if it is a problem or symptom of an unaddressed problem. As I read your post, you are addressing it as a problem. Perhaps it is a symptom of a problem not being addressed? Want a different outcome, try something different.

You two sound like awesome people who have been through a lot. Sorting through that “a lot” may naturally resolve the sex issue, particularly on the woman’s side of things.

 

[Smokeshowin]

Sounds like you have one hell of a woman and that’s pretty rare my man. Keep working at it and give her time. Not saying you will or have even considered it, but don’t mess around on her. It’ll bring far more misery than the ten minutes of excitement is worth in the long run.

She is a hell of a woman. I know that shit can completely wreck lives. Seen it happen in my parents marriage and most of the guys at work. I do not intend on throwing away the beautiful family I have for momentary satisfaction. That’s part of why this is fucking me up so bad. Because I know I’ll go the rest of my life dealing with it if I have to and not cheat. It’s heavy. But for real, that’s the kind of check I needed. Thank you.

 

[Bolan]

My Ex wife also got crazy horny on 10mg of Var a day.... she got leaner also!

 

[GYAT]

Sorry for all you have been through that's some challenging stuff you are navigating. I am glad to hear your wife all in all is on the mend and will be ok. I love that you call her your best friend, I had that once. Miss that and her dearly every single day.

Maybe try and talk with her about adding in a bit of Var. I have a girlfriend who is a total different woman sexually when she's running only 5mg a var 4 days a week when she's in the mood. As others have noted here already it really can and does help for many.

I would also say try and talk about and if you can try Melanotan2 before PT 141. MT2 is much milder in terms of crappy feeling and hit or miss libido or desire that seems to come with PT 141 for many. MT2 just works and will give you increase man or woman. Plus you get a darker look and nicer tan if you get a bit of sun too! A little goes a long way if you try it start with 100mcg see how she reacts and feels.

But, at the end of the day helping and being present to try and assist in working through her mental and emotional anguish, being there for her, giving her time (more time than you may think you can handle) is probably the one thing she needs and may benefit from the most. It sounds like you are a good dad and dude and that you are and will continue to be there for her. Godspeed to you and your family, brother.

 

[Smokeshowin]

Sorry for all you have been through that's some challenging stuff you are navigating. I am glad to hear your wife all in all is on the mend and will be ok. I love that you call her your best friend, I had that once. Miss that and her dearly every single day.

Maybe try and talk with her about adding in a bit of Var. I have a girlfriend who is a total different woman sexually when she's running only 5mg a var 4 days a week when she's in the mood. As others have noted here already it really can and does help for many.

I would also say try and talk about and if you can try Melanotan2 before PT 141. MT2 is much milder in terms of crappy feeling and hit or miss libido or desire that seems to come with PT 141 for many. MT2 just works and will give you increase man or woman. Plus you get a darker look and nicer tan if you get a bit of sun too! A little goes a long way if you try it start with 100mcg see how she reacts and feels.

But, at the end of the day helping and being present to try and assist in working through her mental and emotional anguish, being there for her, giving her time (more time than you may think you can handle) is probably the one thing she needs and may benefit from the most. It sounds like you are a good dad and dude and that you are and will continue to be there for her. Godspeed to you and your family, brother.

Thanks man! As several have pointed out I may be viewing it all wrong. I’m gonna focus on being there and showing up for her. We all talk about, oh I’d die for my wife and my kids, it’s not the fucking 1800s anymore. I 100% would die for my family and I train so I’m harder to kill, but I’ve learned our ultimate sacrifice is often times a silent dull one that may go unnoticed. Keeping my shit buttoned up tight mentally and just being there for her may be the biggest fix for all this.

But while I work on being that, im definitely taking note of all the various peptides and anavar.

I researched trt for 5 years knowing I had low t because I wanted to be damn sure I didn’t fuck up us having kids. So I’ll be researching all this for a bit.

Thanks again man!

 

[Smokeshowin]

Symptom or problem? Sometimes we try to solve things thinking it is a problem and make little progress because indeed it is a symptom of a problem not being addressed.

Only you two can decide if it is a problem or symptom of an unaddressed problem. As I read your post, you are addressing it as a problem. Perhaps it is a symptom of a problem not being addressed? Want a different outcome, try something different.

You two sound like awesome people who have been through a lot. Sorting through that “a lot” may naturally resolve the sex issue, particularly on the woman’s side of things.

Absolutely what I needed to hear as I come off shift and head home for the next 96. Thank you! I’m taking this 4 days at a time sorta, then in my head I go one day at a time if that makes sense. I work 48 on 96 off and some part time sprinkled in. It definitely gets worse in my head when I’m at work and get to let down my guard cause I don’t have to worry that it’ll affect her.
But that was some sage wisdom for sure! Thank you!

 

[Glycomann]

My wife became frigid not long after my daughter was born. She had her tubes tied then. I don't know if she regrets that. A few months ago i told her I which I had more sons. i saw pain in her eyes when I said that. I have only granddaughters so my father's lines have stopped. There will be no more families from his line bearing his name. About the tubal ligation, I don't know if that was the primary cause but that was 36 years ago. Since then it has been on and off. she will be normal for a year. Then shut down again for long long periods. She wont try any treatments. Now we have a grandchild that lives with us so that stifles any activity. My sex drive isn't like it was at your age. Even so it hurts and feels lonely in my own house. That's how the devil finds his way in. I just try to be grateful for what i have, which is two healthy grown children and two beautiful grandchildren. I hope you find a solution. I'll be 64 in a few months. My sex life has passed me by. Finding a mistress just causes chaos in the end. The devil again with his temptations around every corner. You have 6 children. They will bring you a lot of joy in life so there is that.

 

[Smokeshowin]

My wife became frigid not long after my daughter was born. She had her tubes tied then. I don't know if she regrets that. A few months ago i told her I which I had more sons. i saw pain in her eyes when I said that. I have only granddaughters so my father's lines have stopped. There will be no more families from his line bearing his name. About the tubal ligation, I don't know if that was the primary cause but that was 36 years ago. Since then it has been on and off. she will be normal for a year. Then shut down again for long long periods. She wont try any treatments. Now we have a grandchild that lives with us so that stifles any activity. My sex drive isn't like it was at your age. Even so it hurts and feels lonely in my own house. That's how the devil finds his way in. I just try to be grateful for what i have, which is two healthy grown children and two beautiful grandchildren. I hope you find a solution. I'll be 64 in a few months. My sex life has passed me by. Finding a mistress just causes chaos in the end. The devil again with his temptations around every corner. You have 6 children. They will bring you a lot of joy in life so there is that.

I have to start my day with a thankful prayer and spend a while in meditation on everything I do have. I know that everything you said is absolutely true. Sometimes it feels like a test, sometimes it feels like I’m supposed to cherish everything else more than I was.

I had my first son at 19. I had 3 kids before I woke up and realized I wasn’t being a father or a husband like I should. I’ve had to give myself some grace because I was just a kid and I’ve had piss poor role models my whole life. But I know I have more to be thankful for than I could have ever dreamed. My goal is to practice selflessness, patience, and thankfulness like I’m supposed to.

My wife has stood by me and pulled me out of addiction to narcotics as a kid and alcohol as an adult. I don’t deserve a woman this good. If I can’t stand by her when she needs it then I have failed as a husband, father, and as a man.

I regret a lot of things in life even at my age, I won’t let this cause more. Thank you for taking the time to share and encourage. I’ve gotten way more than I could have hoped for out of asking for guidance here. From the possibilities of adding treatments to reality checks for me from guys with some wisdom has been awesome.

Thank you.

 

[tommygunz]

Women are not the same as men when it comes to a hormone standpoint.

You’ve mentioned testosterone and progesterone therapy, and those are necessary for her. Has she spoken to the doctor about her estrogen as well? Obviously it’s a crucial part for females. Women’s libido stems from mental well being more so than men. A hormone balance is what I believe you are looking for. It takes time to develop unlike men, where we just raise our hormones to a super human level and it works, women have a lot more going on than the primal urge for sex. I want to suggest that you perhaps do some reading on oxytocin and its role in this. It’s the hormone in their brain that is responsible for feelings like love and closeness. I can’t help you with a dose or frequency and honestly I shouldn’t. This is something that the two of you should work on with an endocrinologist. The guys here mean well, but what worked with them and the women in their lives may not be the best for your situation. It sounds like you have a cooperative doctor which is important. Maybe they can refer you two to an endocrinologist.

 

[REHH]

6 kids at 30yrs old? Holly shit!!
Damn with this economy you better be making at least 300-500k a year. Think I read it’s about 500,000 to raise a child to 18 in the US now! How do you go out to eat or go on vacation with 8 people? Drive a passenger van? Family trip to Disney world would be at least 10K

Anyway my wife had a hysterectomy years ago and since has been on test, progesterone and estrogen. Her sex drive is good at 60 and can have sex every day, she always has orgasms too. I’m 55, on TRT and can have sex pretty much every day and sometimes twice a day.

Interestingly I have a friend who’s 68 and all natural and can have sex everyday and sometimes twice a day as well. He divorced about 6yrs ago so is dating. He sometimes has trouble finding a woman who can keep up with him wanting sex everyday but he’s found a few. I can attest I’ve heard right from their mouth saying they’re willing, able and can have multiple orgasms a day!!! lol.

 

[Smokeshowin]

Women are not the same as men when it comes to a hormone standpoint.

You’ve mentioned testosterone and progesterone therapy, and those are necessary for her. Has she spoken to the doctor about her estrogen as well? Obviously it’s a crucial part for females. Women’s libido stems from mental well being more so than men. A hormone balance is what I believe you are looking for. It takes time to develop unlike men, where we just raise our hormones to a super human level and it works, women have a lot more going on than the primal urge for sex. I want to suggest that you perhaps do some reading on oxytocin and its role in this. It’s the hormone in their brain that is responsible for feelings like love and closeness. I can’t help you with a dose or frequency and honestly I shouldn’t. This is something that the two of you should work on with an endocrinologist. The guys here mean well, but what worked with them and the women in their lives may not be the best for your situation. It sounds like you have a cooperative doctor which is important. Maybe they can refer you two to an endocrinologist.

Luckily yes her dr is very supportive. We are taking her optimization one step at a time. I know that the trauma she went through and the mental side of losing her uterus(because we had not decided on being done having kids) has affected her deeply. I can try to put myself in her shoes but I can’t truly know that feeling. I will definitely read up on oxytocin and its effects etc. thank you!

 

[tommygunz]

Luckily yes her dr is very supportive. We are taking her optimization one step at a time. I know that the trauma she went through and the mental side of losing her uterus(because we had not decided on being done having kids) has affected her deeply. I can try to put myself in her shoes but I can’t truly know that feeling. I will definitely read up on oxytocin and its effects etc. thank you!

Everyone here is very helpful and their intentions are good but most (like me) are not necessarily qualified to give medical advise.

I went through something similar with my wife and libido loss. All my AAS knowledge only went so far. It was finally a counselor that opened the door to helping us. I’m not telling you this is the answer, but if you haven’t given it a try it may be worth looking into. The oxytocin mentioned is merely a reference to brain chemistry and the role it plays in how women process these things. You have a large family and it’s a large part of her psyche I’d think. Having lost the ability to have children is a powerful factor for most women in those shoes.
Dealing with its effects goes beyond physical medical obstacles.

Good luck to you both.

 

[Smokeshowin]

6 kids at 30yrs old? Holly shit!!
Damn with this economy you better be making at least 300-500k a year. Think I read it’s about 500,000 to raise a child to 18 in the US now! How do you go out to eat or go on vacation with 8 people? Drive a passenger van? Family trip to Disney world would be at least 10K

Anyway my wife had a hysterectomy years ago and since has been on test, progesterone and estrogen. Her sex drive is good at 60 and can have sex every day, she always has orgasms too. I’m 55, on TRT and can have sex pretty much every day and sometimes twice a day.

Interestingly I have a friend who’s 68 and all natural and can have sex everyday and sometimes twice a day as well. He divorced about 6yrs ago so is dating. He sometimes has trouble finding a woman who can keep up with him wanting sex everyday but he’s found a few. I can attest I’ve heard right from their mouth saying they’re willing, able and can have multiple orgasms a day!!! lol.

Actually, Disney is just over 11k…But she saved for it for a long time from farmers markets and projects.going in September lol. Yes we drive a 12 passenger van and its tits! I recommend anyone with a handful of kids get one the space is invaluable. I do not make anywhere near 300k let alone 5 lol. I’m just a simple fireman working for two jobs. Fortunately I am able to keep her home and she gets to be a mom full time. But we live below our means and live a bit different than most. That’s actually what brought me to the forum. My trt was expensive and I needed to find an alternative. Little did I know it could be such a helpful asset.

 

[REHH]

Everyone here is very helpful and their intentions are good but most (like me) are not necessarily qualified to give medical advise.

I went through something similar with my wife and libido loss. All my AAS knowledge only went so far. It was finally a counselor that opened the door to helping us. I’m not telling you this is the answer, but if you haven’t given it a try it may be worth looking into. The oxytocin mentioned is merely a reference to brain chemistry and the role it plays in how women process these things. You have a large family and it’s a large part of her psyche I’d think. Having lost the ability to have children is a powerful factor for most women in those shoes.
Dealing with its effects goes beyond physical medical obstacles.

Good luck to you both.

This is what I was about to say, I think he needs a therapist/ psychologist more than a hormone Dr. My wife had hysterectomy in her 30s, lots of her friends have had them, nothing unusual. To be traumatized for years is a psychological problem.

 

[Smokeshowin]

Everyone here is very helpful and their intentions are good but most (like me) are not necessarily qualified to give medical advise.

I went through something similar with my wife and libido loss. All my AAS knowledge only went so far. It was finally a counselor that opened the door to helping us. I’m not telling you this is the answer, but if you haven’t given it a try it may be worth looking into. The oxytocin mentioned is merely a reference to brain chemistry and the role it plays in how women process these things. You have a large family and it’s a large part of her psyche I’d think. Having lost the ability to have children is a powerful factor for most women in those shoes.
Dealing with its effects goes beyond physical medical obstacles.

Good luck to you both.

Thank you! It’s not off the table. I’m sure it could help. We both are the type to fix it ourselves and that’s what we are trying to do. I’m a gf/paramedic so I have some knowledge of hormones, chemical imbalances, and effects on the body. I’m not jumping into anything without heavy research, especially if it’s for her not me. I’m fine being my own lab rat but I accept the responsibility of that. I couldn’t live with myself if I fucked her up just to change libido. It’s a process and I know that. I have been amazed at the number of guys giving sound logical advice. Makes me feel less alone and even if you don’t know me you have enough of a shit to say the hard truths not just the easy button.