Sorry to hear you are battling with this
@Flexmuscle . Addiction is a cold-hearted bitch, but freedom from addiction is attainable my friend. It's gonna take work but the freedom you will gain is well worth the work.
I spent about 10 years of my life being massively addicted to opiates. It all started with a back injury. Back then doctors were handing out pain meds like candy..... and I took the candy. Finally, I became so sick of a little pill controlling my life that I was able to kick the habit. Was not easy at all. I won't sweeten the story for you. I literally had to shut myself into the house for 10 days going through the absolute worst withdrawals I could imagine. After those initial 10 rough days it still was probably 6 months until I felt like a "normal" human being again.
The process was hard and painful, but once it was done I was thankful that it was so hard...... because that kept me from ever going back. I never wanted to go through that withdrawal process again. Now, even when I have had surgeries performed, I refuse the scripts for any opiates. Opiates are the damn devil..... at least to me.
You are a man.... do not let the stranglehold of addiction control you and deter you from your goals. Stay focused on your goals, and working towards your purpose.
If you have quit in the past, but relapsed..... figure out what the "triggers" were that contributed to you falling back in the pit. That way when trials come in the future (and they will come), you will recognize that your demons are wanting to come out, and you can take steps to keep yourself from going off the cliff.
Have a support system ready for when you feel yourself getting close to the edge.... whether that be AA, NA, personal counselor, pastor, or whatever it may be that will help you stay grounded. Everybody has their breaking point.... so there is absolutely no shame in seeking counseling. I hate that "going to therapy" has some kind of stigma around it.... like you're damaged goods or something. I regularly seek counseling just to make sure I stay in line and on a path that keeps me working towards my goals. I look at it as preventative care or maintenance. I have a high-stress job and high-stress home life, so when I start to feel the wheels coming off the tracks, I immediately seek counsel..... and I assure you it helps. Just having somewhere to dump your shit, and also receive helpful advice is such a relief when you feel like you're about to explode.
Didn't mean to go into such a rant, but it hurts me when i see people battling addictions because I've been there. People that have never been through it have no idea how hard it can be. They'll say things like "why don't ya just quit".... as if it's some simple task like brushing your teeth. Anyways...... I'm rooting for ya brotha, and feel free to shoot me a message if you want.
