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Staying Calm Around Rude People While on Gear

I used to be a hot head shit starter many moons ago, been in many confrontations, given beat downs and also taken some vicious ones. Simply the environment I grew up in where violence thrived required you to be tough and be even more violent otherwise you were pray. Eventually once I integrated actual society and realized that’s not how things work in the real world I realized being tough and an idiot are two different things. These days I’m the most respectful and polite person ever, even if someone is an asshole I’ll give them an out and not react negatively. Doesn’t matter to me unless they’re purposely disrespecting me or become a physical threat. That said, I chuckle when guys on Testosterone tell me they just want to beat people up or get worked up easily now that they’re on gear and ask me if I feel the same way? LOL the answer is always no, I don’t get that and usually try to end the conversation shortly after as they start going on and on about how easily angered and this or that, where I come from that’s a sign of intimidation and should be dealt with immediately, but again I’m not that person anymore. Most “guys” get this sort of pride in being easily offended and confrontational… As a man I take pride in being in full control of my emotions and reaction to others actions. We have a whole other gender for emotional behavior, but that’s just me.

“The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance sets me apart from other men.” - Quote from the Navy Seal Ethos.
 
I’ve learned not to react to trivial nonsense. Take a breath, maintain tact and bearing, and apply just enough subtle edge to stay in control without crossing the line. More often than not, the ball remains in your court—and even a calm smile or nod can be enough to unsettle the other person.

If hostility escalates to the point of an imminent threat, decisive action is authorized.
 
AR-15 said:
Well good thing most of you fuckers got muscles. I will admit they do de escalate a lot of situations. Right before my last fight when I took my shirt off all of my opponents homies were yelling at HIM that he was fucked. lol
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Joe Rogan Wow GIF by UFC
 
Bolan said:
For some reason nobody fucks with me.
And if someone is getting on my nerves I'll tell them to STFU.
And they do.
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Bro, I think they practicing Deebo mind control on you... cause I heard they shut up... but when you leave... they start talking again!🤣
 

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AnabolicAmp said:
One thing nobody really prepares you for when you’re enhanced is how much easier it is to get triggered by stupid behavior. Rude people, disrespect, slick comments things you might normally brush off suddenly feel way more personal. Not because you’re weak, but because hormones can shorten the temper.

I’ve had to learn that not every reaction deserves a response. When gear is in the mix, reacting off emotion is usually the wrong move. The key for me has been creating a pause. Take a breath. Walk away. Give it a minute before saying anything. Most situations lose their power once you don’t feed them.

I also remind myself that staying calm is a form of control. Losing your cool gives someone else power over you, and that’s never worth it. The gym helps, but I don’t use it as an excuse to carry aggression everywhere. Training is where intensity belongs. Real life requires restraint.

Being enhanced doesn’t give you a pass to act reckless. It puts more responsibility on you to stay level headed. Strength isn’t snapping back it’s knowing you could, and choosing not to.

How do you handle disrespect or rude people while on gear without letting it escalate? What keeps you calm when emotions are running hotter than usual?
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I had to teach myself to control my behavior while I was using gear without my wife knowing for about 3yrs. I didn’t want to lose my cool around my family so it helped me adapt to others and other situations.

I also have to work with kids and young adults on a daily basis so patience and holding my tongue has been apart of my career.
 
I think being raised in Miami made me realize eye contact says a lot. Also, I have my concealed carry, so fuck around and find out essentially.

Level headed until it becomes life or death. 🙂
 
Omoplata said:
I think being raised in Miami made me realize eye contact says a lot. Also, I have my concealed carry, so fuck around and find out essentially.

Level headed until it becomes life or death. 🙂
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throw hands like a real man bro
 
It seems as I get older, the more irritated I get at little shit and I really don’t think it has anything to do with “gear”. I haven’t ran more than test, GH and recently yk-11 in the last 14yrs.

I trained mma for 10yrs from 20 to 30 and had 6 amateur fights in that time span but I never tried to fight or act a fool outside of that. I was always the one trying to de escalate situations. Not saying fights didn’t happen but It was always a last resort.

Now, I just want to rip peoples heads off for chewing their food loud, popping their gum, grunting loud in the gym, dropping their weights, just being fucking stupid ect……lol.

The family and I go to breakfast every Sunday morning and then to the grocery store. This morning we did just that and were seated in a section all by ourselves. This guy came into our section with a broom and dust pan and was banging that fucker as loud as he could on every chair and table, on the floor ect…..and my wife saw the look on my face and was like “don’t” lol.

🤦🏻‍♂️
 
Back in the 90's when everybody at work was just starting gear..
I noticed two things..
They never wanted to go OFF..
AND..
Many of them, upgraded to Super Dicks..
I recall one friend, didn't ever wanted to come Off..
I finally had to say something..we were training partners for about a yr..
He's in the back of the Gym,I walk in..All I hear is him..
Personally, I get Road Rage..bad..
But people suck at Driving..lol
If I could manage that..it would elevate me a ton of Stress..
And Stress..at an older age..Not Good..
Z
 
I 100% agree with AR one five. Jail for doing the right thing sucks. Walk away and breathe. Its not worth wasting part of your life locked up. Sounds like he has also learned the hard way.
 
Ckmeter said:
I’ll give you the chance. Sometimes multiple chances. But disrespect me, and it’s game over. I don’t care if I get my ass beat. I don’t care if I’m on gear or off gear. I will not tolerate it.
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I respect it. If you can’t respect boundaries, you will learn to.
rawbuilt said:
throw hands like a real man bro
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Miami is not a sane place, at all.
 
Astro95 said:
I used to be a hot head shit starter many moons ago, been in many confrontations, given beat downs and also taken some vicious ones. Simply the environment I grew up in where violence thrived required you to be tough and be even more violent otherwise you were pray. Eventually once I integrated actual society and realized that’s not how things work in the real world I realized being tough and an idiot are two different things. These days I’m the most respectful and polite person ever, even if someone is an asshole I’ll give them an out and not react negatively. Doesn’t matter to me unless they’re purposely disrespecting me or become a physical threat. That said, I chuckle when guys on Testosterone tell me they just want to beat people up or get worked up easily now that they’re on gear and ask me if I feel the same way? LOL the answer is always no, I don’t get that and usually try to end the conversation shortly after as they start going on and on about how easily angered and this or that, where I come from that’s a sign of intimidation and should be dealt with immediately, but again I’m not that person anymore. Most “guys” get this sort of pride in being easily offended and confrontational… As a man I take pride in being in full control of my emotions and reaction to others actions. We have a whole other gender for emotional behavior, but that’s just me.

“The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance sets me apart from other men.” - Quote from the Navy Seal Ethos.
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Solid ass perspective shift Astro.
 
rawbuilt said:
throw hands like a real man bro
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He knows how to scrap... its Florida and I bet @Omoplata has damn good lawyer in case of SHTF.

Florida is pretty damn good place for CCW folks.. hell, even the Sheriff's are preaching and being a proponent of civilians ventilating all the POS criminals there.

Somebody's gotta do the lord's work.
 
$loth said:
I 100% agree with AR one five. Jail for doing the right thing sucks. Walk away and breathe. Its not worth wasting part of your life locked up. Sounds like he has also learned the hard way.
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Learned the hard way many many times Sir. Have 3 felonies and a lot of arrests for assault, aggravated assault, blah blah blah because I just couldn’t make myself leave the situation. I can tell you with 100% honesty none of my convictions were do to me starting the altercation. My problem is I’m really good at finishing them. Guys can quote laws all day long but when pro mma fighter is sitting in court and the dude that started it is sitting there with stitches and a broken orbital bone who do you think the judge or jury is gonna believe? I’m assuming the same would be for a lot of guys here that are built like brick shit houses. Judge takes one look at you and I don’t care if you dig up Jonny Cochran your going to jail and your gonna be a felon.

Not whining at all because I absolutely 110% own every punch I’ve thrown. I could have left but I didn’t. My bad. I’m just throwing out a word of caution to the guys that are the same way. The time and money I’ve lost over dumbass people and my own issues has cost me pretty much everything I once had. Never again. Keep your inner circle small and let the assholes die off.
 
Same here my friend. Sounds like we have a lot in common. Lets just say my rap sheet is a book, and alot of it came from defending others or myself. Not all, but most of it. My inner circle is more like a triangle, fuck everyone else.
 
@AR-15 Last real altercation I had was at a Hispanic-owned nightclub in San Jose. I was there in the “in case of emergency, break glass” role—which already means bad judgment somewhere along the line, mine or someone else’s. But it’s San Jose, and the city’s stacked with dudes running on false bravado and borrowed machismo.

Anyway, some clown rolls up and starts jawing at one of the women I’m with. She’s calm, handles herself just fine, and shuts him down hard enough to embarrass him. Egg on his face. Naturally, he can’t eat it, so he fires back with, “stupid bitch.”

That’s when I stand up.

His response? “Oh, you want some, you white boy faggot,” and he slips into this half-assed bladed stance like he’s about to do something meaningful. Before his hand even comes up, I level change, single-leg him, dump him on the deck, and lock up a Kimura.

I’m fully expecting to start catching kicks or fists for putting myself in that position—but nothing comes. So I lean in and tell him, calmly, that if he says one more stupid thing or threatens anyone again, I’m taking his elbow off like a drumstick.

He gets 86’d.

Ten minutes later, SJPD shows up. At this point I’m assuming I’m fucked—assault, terrorist threats, the whole menu—because I was the one who stepped forward. I head outside to talk to them and see one of my good friends on duty, working overtime. His usual beat’s the Eastside.

Next thing I know, the cops tell the clown to beat feet.

Close call. I really thought the lack of full cauliflower ears might save me, but trouble’s everywhere—even when you’re not looking for it.
 
Based on anecdotal evidence and discussions with friends and colleagues across MMA, grappling, and BJJ for many years cauliflower ears are not, in themselves, a deterrent.

It's always up for arguement.
 
Cypher said:
@AR-15 Last real altercation I had was at a Hispanic-owned nightclub in San Jose. I was there in the “in case of emergency, break glass” role—which already means bad judgment somewhere along the line, mine or someone else’s. But it’s San Jose, and the city’s stacked with dudes running on false bravado and borrowed machismo.

Anyway, some clown rolls up and starts jawing at one of the women I’m with. She’s calm, handles herself just fine, and shuts him down hard enough to embarrass him. Egg on his face. Naturally, he can’t eat it, so he fires back with, “stupid bitch.”

That’s when I stand up.

His response? “Oh, you want some, you white boy faggot,” and he slips into this half-assed bladed stance like he’s about to do something meaningful. Before his hand even comes up, I level change, single-leg him, dump him on the deck, and lock up a Kimura.

I’m fully expecting to start catching kicks or fists for putting myself in that position—but nothing comes. So I lean in and tell him, calmly, that if he says one more stupid thing or threatens anyone again, I’m taking his elbow off like a drumstick.

He gets 86’d.

Ten minutes later, SJPD shows up. At this point I’m assuming I’m fucked—assault, terrorist threats, the whole menu—because I was the one who stepped forward. I head outside to talk to them and see one of my good friends on duty, working overtime. His usual beat’s the Eastside.

Next thing I know, the cops tell the clown to beat feet.

Close call. I really thought the lack of full cauliflower ears might save me, but trouble’s everywhere—even when you’re not looking for it.
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Well first thanks for the reply. Second it appears you’re exactly the type of person I posted my response for.

I have absolutely mad respect for standing up to an asshole but bro you got very lucky. You could have been arrested or shot going to your car. Your lady friends as well.

I’m not trying to preach because I’m not perfect by any means but I’ve been there and when things go wrong it can get very very bad for anyone in a street fight.

I’ll be totally honest man. Now adays I wouldn’t engage with anyone on the street. I mean unless one of my loved ones were in legit trouble I would do whatever to avoid it.

Keep your head about you brother. Become a badass in the ring. You sound like that’s definitely a lane for you. Need any advice about MMA my pm box is always open.
 

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