This isn’t something I talk about much. My dad’s 2nd ex-wife was incredibly emotionally and verbally abusive to me from the age of 9 to about 14 until I was able to live with my mom. Apparently she was physically and sexually abusive to sister when she would visit alone. She was also physically abusive to my dad. When my dad finally divorced her, he said he was grateful we all made it out alive. He apologized for everything, and it took me a bit, but I have forgiven him. He was so fucking trapped — he was worried she would kill him or my sister and me if he left her. She had borderline personality disorder. Could go into all the crazy shit she did, but it’d be a book. She is facing felony charges currently and has domestic violence already on her record.
My dad and I since have a very solid relationship. Not the typical father son relationship per se, but he is a big part of my life now. He shows up to every bodybuilding show and helps with my health stuff with gear, as he’s a doctor. He’s an alcoholic now, as I know he uses it to numb the pain of living with the guilt of putting us through hell. Anytime it comes up, he just bursts into tears. It’s truly heartbreaking knowing he lives with this and nothing anyone can do will fix it.
I am definitely grateful i didn’t go through anything more than what I did, but man, I feel some guilt for what my sister and dad went through. I’m thankful to god for truly protecting us through it and allowing me to fully process everything and get on with my life. My sister struggles immensely to this day, and she has a lot of residual trauma.