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Child Abuse

Hughmangoes said:
I think I had a decent childhood with no abuse. I tell my wife stories like it was something amusing and humorous, she thinks what I tell her is some fucked up shit.

I don't think everyone who was abused recognizes it as such. But even then, is abuse something that you can strictly define? I have no idea.

Sorry to ruin your yes or no thread.
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Didn’t ruin it, I just figured not everyone would want to describe their experiences. Thanks for responding
 
Ckmeter said:
This isn’t something I talk about much. My dad’s 2nd ex-wife was incredibly emotionally and verbally abusive to me from the age of 9 to about 14 until I was able to live with my mom. Apparently she was physically and sexually abusive to sister when she would visit alone. She was also physically abusive to my dad. When my dad finally divorced her, he said he was grateful we all made it out alive. He apologized for everything, and it took me a bit, but I have forgiven him. He was so fucking trapped — he was worried she would kill him or my sister and me if he left her. She had borderline personality disorder. Could go into all the crazy shit she did, but it’d be a book. She is facing felony charges currently and has domestic violence already on her record.

My dad and I since have a very solid relationship. Not the typical father son relationship per se, but he is a big part of my life now. He shows up to every bodybuilding show and helps with my health stuff with gear, as he’s a doctor. He’s an alcoholic now, as I know he uses it to numb the pain of living with the guilt of putting us through hell. Anytime it comes up, he just bursts into tears. It’s truly heartbreaking knowing he lives with this and nothing anyone can do will fix it.

I am definitely grateful i didn’t go through anything more than what I did, but man, I feel some guilt for what my sister and dad went through. I’m thankful to god for truly protecting us through it and allowing me to fully process everything and get on with my life. My sister struggles immensely to this day, and she has a lot of residual trauma.
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I hope you get your dad and sister together as often as possible and make lots of happy memories to replace the shitty ones…. And tell them you love them everyday.

God bless you, CK!
 
NY_Angie said:
Same
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I forgot we have a lady on the forum too lol…

Feel free to anonymously get shit off your chest…. My mom was raped at 15 by her step father, in fact he and his son raped her until she moved out after getting pregnant…. When she told her mother her mother threw her down the stairs accusing her of trying to sabotage her new marriage. She left to save the baby.… my oldest sister is a product of that rape.

That man went on to rape my mothers sisters daughter, his step grand daughter I guess (I don’t refer to her as my aunt because my father refused to let us kids have anything to do with that side of the family, but I was best friends with her daughter Sammy… I still have many memories of playing power rangers with her when she came to live with us)….


My mother, even though I forgive her and love her, was more like a roommate than a mother…. She was very messed up and I know it’s because of her nightmare childhood. She cheated on my dad a lot but he always took her back because he knew she needed someone to care for her….

I can’t believe I’m airing my families dirty laundry here but…. Knowing my father missed out on finding true love to care for someone who hated herself and to keep our family together as well as raise two kids that weren’t his (my two oldest sisters) … makes me respect him that much more… I wish I wasn’t such a dickhead to him in my teenage years.

Sorry for the rant.

Feel free to get shit off your chest! I don’t know how it feels to be you but I know how it feels to care about people who’ve been done wrong by people they trusted.
 
Milford King said:
I hope you get your dad and sister together as often as possible and make lots of happy memories to replace the shitty ones…. And tell them you love them everyday.

God bless you, CK!
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I won’t go into too many details, but unfortunately there is a huge rift there that I do not believe is fixable. We always have to make good memories with the ones we love and remind them that we love them! Otherwise we will wish we had.

Thank you so much @Milford King
 
Ckmeter said:
I won’t go into too many details, but unfortunately there is a huge rift there that I do not believe is fixable. We always have to make good memories with the ones we love and remind them that we love them! Otherwise we will wish we had.

Thank you so much @Milford King
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I hope you can find a way to fix it my brother. Where there’s a will there’s a way…

But I understand man.
 
Glycomann said:
Do you guys consider spanking abuse?
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Nope.

I’ve spanked my kids once each…. And felt so shitty about it afterwards that I literally apologized.

I’ve changed discipline tactics…. Sometimes, I think my kids could use a few nicely placed smacks but just didn’t like how I felt afterwards.

My dad used his belt. My mom had this paddle with holes drilled through it. I could outrun my mom…. But my dad was more of an ambush hunter, lol.

My grandpa back handed me once. So quick and message was so well received that I never flipped him off or even disrespected him ever again.

Damn I miss those guys.
 
Proverbs 13:24

24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Now with that said I feel spanking should only be on the butt... One time my ex-wife smacked our daughter across the face and I lost my shit on her .. never ever hit a child across the face regardless of how sassy they may have been... That's my thoughts

Discipline is necessary from time to time... Abuse never is...
 
100% yes. But it's complicated. I achieved a lot because I got hard early. Maybe I still would have without it. Maybe not.

Many years later we've since been able to speak honestly about it and now things are good. Living 3000 miles apart probably doesn't hurt either hah.
 
Glycomann said:
Do you guys consider spanking abuse?
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Discipline is not abuse for sure. When you spank your child to correct unacceptable behavior you're forcing them to recognize consequences.

Abuse is when there is no point or purpose and the actions go beyond simple correction.
At least that's my take, I'm not a scientist of anything.
 
Being mentally and physically abused as a kid teaches you a brutal lesson. If you don't let it break you, it makes you unshakably self-reliant. You quickly learn nobody’s coming to save you, nobody’s coming to make you happy. When the world offers no comfort, you become your own. But there’s a price. I swore as a child I’d never let anyone close again. Ttrust is a weapon people eventually turn on you. My two kids are the only ones I’ve ever truly let past that wall. Everybody else stays on the outside where they belong.

Reading that back, I think I might need counseling 🤣
 
Sexually abused..Never realized how much it damaged me as a person until I was much older..Never said a word to anyone about it until close to age 30..Glad I got free from that
 

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