For All The Dumbass 18 Year Olds Asking About Their First Cycle

[codem]

ULTIMATE BRO-SCIENCE FIRST CYCLE FOR 18-YEAR-OLD GAINS GOBLINS​

Yo bros, I’m 18, 5’6”, 130 lbs soaking wet, been lifting for 3 months, and I’m READY to BLAST TREN and become a FREAK! What’s my first cycle? No SARMs, those are for femboys!

The "Tren-Tastic TikTok Titan" Cycle
Goal: Transform from twig to IFBB pro in 6 weeks, get 1M TikTok followers, and flex on your high school ex.

Weeks 1-6: The "YOLO Blast"

• Trenbolone Acetate: 500mg/day – Gotta go HARD, bro! Tren is the king of juice, makes you a shredded beast who sweats diesel. Inject in the bathroom mirror for max vibes.
• Dianabol: 100mg/day – Pop these like Skittles for that instant bloat... I mean, PUMP. Who needs kidneys when you got GAINS?
• Testosterone Enanthate: 2g/week – More test = more chest, right? Pin it wherever, traps, calves, whatever’s closest.
• Anadrol: 150mg/day – Because why not? Stack it high, get SWOLE, and scare your mom with your new face-moon.

Aromatase Inhibitor? Nah, bro, gyno is just extra pecs. Chicks dig it. “Bro, are those abs or are you smuggling grapefruits?”

PCT (Post Cycle Therapy):

• Clomid? Tamoxifen? Pfft, just chug Monster Energy and pray to the Swole Gods. Real men don’t need PCT, your balls will bounce back... probably.
• Optional: Buy a juicer and make “natural test boosters” from kale and pre-workout. Post it on Insta with #Natty.

Diet:

• 10 Big Macs/day – Bulking, bro! Gotta feed the Tren hunger. Supersize for extra anabolic fries.
• PRO TIP: Dip your fries in Red Bull for that synergistic insulin spike.
• Protein? Just snort whey powder between sets. Saves time.

Training:

• Bench press 135 lbs for 1/4 reps, scream “LIGHTWEIGHT!” every set. Post on X with #BeastMode.
• Curl in the squat rack 24/7. Squats are for crossfit nerds.
• Flex in every mirror. If you don’t get kicked out of the gym, you’re not trying.

Side Effects to Expect:

• Tren cough? Nah, that’s your lungs doing deadlifts.
• Sleepless nights? Perfect for 3 AM gym sesh and arguing on forums.
• Roid rage? Just punch a hole in your drywall and call it interior design.
• Acne? Bro, those are GAINS BUMPS. Flex ‘em.

WARNING: This cycle is brought to you by BroScience University. Consult Dr. Ronnie Coleman before starting. #YOLO #TrenLife​

 

[YeahYou808]

This should be pinned! Except some dummies might not understand the joke lol!

 

[CarvinDC125]

At least it’s recommending a test base. Saw a video where some of these goofball are actually doing something like the stack mentioned here but with no test! That one kid that was 17 Logan something is his first name. He ended up in the hospital from re using needles. His T was at around 245 I believe? Which is the telltale sign of using anabolic compounds with no or not enough test as a base.,
He’s lucky to be alive. Never seen blood work that bad before especially from a teenager.

 

[MuscleJ]

At least it’s recommending a test base. Saw a video where some of these goofball are actually doing something like the stack mentioned here but with no test! That one kid that was 17 Logan something is his first name. He ended up in the hospital from re using needles. His T was at around 245 I believe? Which is the telltale sign of using anabolic compounds with no or not enough test as a base.,
He’s lucky to be alive. Never seen blood work that bad before especially from a teenager.

I remember seeing that kid and everyone thinking he was natural. Bro’s blood was like syrup based off his blood work


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[codem]

I remember seeing that kid and everyone thinking he was natural. Bro’s blood was like syrup based off his blood work


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Imagine stroking out at 18 years old lol

 

[Ckmeter]

ULTIMATE BRO-SCIENCE FIRST CYCLE FOR 18-YEAR-OLD GAINS GOBLINS​

The "Tren-Tastic TikTok Titan" Cycle
Goal: Transform from twig to IFBB pro in 6 weeks, get 1M TikTok followers, and flex on your high school ex.

Weeks 1-6: The "YOLO Blast"

• Trenbolone Acetate: 500mg/day – Gotta go HARD, bro! Tren is the king of juice, makes you a shredded beast who sweats diesel. Inject in the bathroom mirror for max vibes.
• Dianabol: 100mg/day – Pop these like Skittles for that instant bloat... I mean, PUMP. Who needs kidneys when you got GAINS?
• Testosterone Enanthate: 2g/week – More test = more chest, right? Pin it wherever, traps, calves, whatever’s closest.
• Anadrol: 150mg/day – Because why not? Stack it high, get SWOLE, and scare your mom with your new face-moon.

Aromatase Inhibitor? Nah, bro, gyno is just extra pecs. Chicks dig it. “Bro, are those abs or are you smuggling grapefruits?”

PCT (Post Cycle Therapy):

• Clomid? Tamoxifen? Pfft, just chug Monster Energy and pray to the Swole Gods. Real men don’t need PCT, your balls will bounce back... probably.
• Optional: Buy a juicer and make “natural test boosters” from kale and pre-workout. Post it on Insta with #Natty.

Diet:

• 10 Big Macs/day – Bulking, bro! Gotta feed the Tren hunger. Supersize for extra anabolic fries.
• PRO TIP: Dip your fries in Red Bull for that synergistic insulin spike.
• Protein? Just snort whey powder between sets. Saves time.

Training:

• Bench press 135 lbs for 1/4 reps, scream “LIGHTWEIGHT!” every set. Post on X with #BeastMode.
• Curl in the squat rack 24/7. Squats are for crossfit nerds.
• Flex in every mirror. If you don’t get kicked out of the gym, you’re not trying.

Side Effects to Expect:

• Tren cough? Nah, that’s your lungs doing deadlifts.
• Sleepless nights? Perfect for 3 AM gym sesh and arguing on forums.
• Roid rage? Just punch a hole in your drywall and call it interior design.
• Acne? Bro, those are GAINS BUMPS. Flex ‘em.

WARNING: This cycle is brought to you by BroScience University. Consult Dr. Ronnie Coleman before starting. #YOLO #TrenLife​

Anadrol dosage is wrong. 300/day MINIMUM.

 

[AA Solutions]

Anadrol dosage is wrong. 300/day MINIMUM.

This is a little known hack, if you REALLY pound your liver so it stops working, you get more effect from your orals!

 

[Dano22]

Anadrol dosage is wrong. 300/day MINIMUM.

Now we’re talkin

 

[Valdosta]

At least it’s recommending a test base. Saw a video where some of these goofball are actually doing something like the stack mentioned here but with no test! That one kid that was 17 Logan something is his first name. He ended up in the hospital from re using needles. His T was at around 245 I believe? Which is the telltale sign of using anabolic compounds with no or not enough test as a base.,
He’s lucky to be alive. Never seen blood work that bad before especially from a teenager.

maybe that logan dishman fella on instagram. if so he is pretty dam huge, especially for his age

 

[codem]

This is a little known hack, if you REALLY pound your liver so it stops working, you get more effect from your orals!

You don't have to worry about it passing through the liver if you have no liver