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Whatever it is, it's living in the walls!

Vision

Vision

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Get Shredded!
For the past few days whenever I go into my utility closet which is a fairly decent size, we store our food in there and beverages, I hear small like chirping or squeaking sounds.. mother fucker there is something living in the walls..

Whenever I approach the closet I hear them but whenever I make it an attempt to beat on the walls they stop.. just lovely this is exactly what the fuck I need.. is it a feral cat or some kind of vermin?

I'm the man of the house and I refuse to call an exterminator, especially after the fact that I tried to show my wife what I've been experiencing and whenever I do it does not make this sound.. she thinks I'm fucking losing it, but seriously honey listen I swear just give it a moment!

That's it I'm going in.. jab saw ✓ hammer ✓ flashlight ✓ sharp ass knife that will kill a vicious and ferocious wall creature ✓.. this is my house god dammit and I'm getting it back..

Right before I plunge into the drywall and throw dust in the air I hear the sound again, but now it's coming from a different location or so it sounds..hmm

I look around and begin to investigate..

And what do I find? A toy Halloween bat with a motion sensor, motherfucker I got played and I don't even know where this thing came from.. I was literally about to drive my forehead into this wall attempting to shove my head through the hole to rip this thing out by my teeth.. and it turns out to be a goddamn fucking toy sitting on the shelf near the water heater..

4 days of this goddamn torment..

Long story short it's out with the trash, let it torment the rats in the landfill along with the dead hookers..

Now I can rest easy as I lay my head down tonight not worring about doing any small renovation.. SMH
 
Rats, possum, raccoons, birds. Could be any number of critters. Are u in the north or south? If you contact an exterminator tell them what’s happening and ask for a rat exclusion.

Edit: Missed part about it being a toy. I read shit too fast.
 
Last edited:
FLsnakeman said:
Rats, possum, raccoons, birds. Could be any number of critters. Are u in the north or south? If you contact an exterminator tell them what’s happening and ask for a rat exclusion.

Edit: Missed part about it being a toy. I read shit too fast.
Click to expand...

You have to read the entire story
 
Good thing it turned out to be a toy, I just had to deal with a chipmunk that got into the house and ended up making a hole in the wall behind the stove. It was fully grown and fast enough that it could pull itself off sticky traps. I ended up using a rat trap surrounded by sticky traps. The rat trap didn't even kill it, but immobilized it enough for the sticky traps to adhere to it as it flailed around. I ended up putting the whole mass of traps into a plastic grocery bag then took it outside and beat it to death on the front steps before tossing it into the trash can.
 
I’m very happy to hear it’s not like the movie where the mom n daughter think the house is haunted, but it was really a guy named Eugene living in the walls . I think it’s called house arrest.
 
I suspect your kid (if you have one) could have done this as a prank, lol. Time to go chew him or her out lol.
 
In college my freshmen year I lived on the top floor of my dorm. Literally thousands of bats lived in the wall. At dusk they would gather under the coping of the roof and just come divebombing past your face if you sat by the window which I did because I smoked at the time. There was a law against kills the bats, and every time I calls maintenance about the fuckers I'd find new glue traps laid in the floor of my room.
 
IML Gear Cream!
I had a skunk under my house a few years ago and I called an exterminator and asked how much would it cost.He said 50$ so I thought that's not too bad but he said if it's a momma skunk with 8 babies it's 50 bucks per skunk.I thought oh shit now we're getting into some money.An old man that worked with me said to throw some moth balls under there.So I buy half a dozen boxes of moth balls.They were only a couple bucks each and I spread them out under the house and problem solved.That skunk or skunks got the Hell out of there.This wont work on toys but if you ever have a real critter in there remember moth balls.
 
The squirrels launched an invasion on my house this summer, they even got into the vents. I took out around 10 of them with a pellet gun, snares for the rest. They’ll be back I’m sure, it’s one of the joys of living in the forest.
 
45PRs said:
The squirrels launched an invasion on my house this summer, they even got into the vents. I took out around 10 of them with a pellet gun, snares for the rest. They’ll be back I’m sure, it’s one of the joys of living in the forest.
Click to expand...

Thinking about squirrels makes me want to pull out the N64 and play some Conkers.
 
I always had a problem with frogs , they’d mysteriously get in the house . I was walking in the dimly lit basement and stepped on one . Frog guts between your toes . I’d rather step in dog crap
 
The stories are fucking hilarious... Yes the toy was my sons it was a stupid ass bat that had a motion detector on it and it would make some sort of noise, I didn't even know bats made noises.. but whatever the sound was I thought it was a fucking cat or something stuck in the walls.

The reason why I immediately thought a cat it's because my ex had balloon framing in her house and the Stray Cats would go through the crawl space up into the walls and you would hear the fucking things.. you would suspect a squirrel first but no it was fucking cats.

When I was a teenager we had a vent on the wall in our house behind the television, I remember sitting down one time eating Fruity Pebbles at 2 in the morning, I heard something behind the TV and long and behold walking right in front of me by my feet was a possum, it walked over to the cat food near the refrigerator and ate it then it walked by me and looked up at me and walked into the hole again and vanished... The entire time I was just frozen like what the fuck is this thing doing! It seriously had no care in the world... Have any of you ever seen one of those things up close and personal? That thing was fucking trifling and scary looking I was not about to disturb it..
 
Lol you seemed to be flipping out, Vision. Ya that is crazy shit indeed.
 
I recently had to invest in rats traps for my house because the little bastards sounded like they were having Orgy's in the walls. Running under cabinets and through the duct work. They won't be doing that again!! This thread made me feel better about my situation though, thanks vision!

the island
 
Vision said:
For the past few days whenever I go into my utility closet which is a fairly decent size, we store our food in there and beverages, I hear small like chirping or squeaking sounds.. mother fucker there is something living in the walls..

Whenever I approach the closet I hear them but whenever I make it an attempt to beat on the walls they stop.. just lovely this is exactly what the fuck I need.. is it a feral cat or some kind of vermin?

I'm the man of the house and I refuse to call an exterminator, especially after the fact that I tried to show my wife what I've been experiencing and whenever I do it does not make this sound.. she thinks I'm fucking losing it, but seriously honey listen I swear just give it a moment!

That's it I'm going in.. jab saw ✓ hammer ✓ flashlight ✓ sharp ass knife that will kill a vicious and ferocious wall creature ✓.. this is my house god dammit and I'm getting it back..

Right before I plunge into the drywall and throw dust in the air I hear the sound again, but now it's coming from a different location or so it sounds..hmm

I look around and begin to investigate..

And what do I find? A toy Halloween bat with a motion sensor, motherfucker I got played and I don't even know where this thing came from.. I was literally about to drive my forehead into this wall attempting to shove my head through the hole to rip this thing out by my teeth.. and it turns out to be a goddamn fucking toy sitting on the shelf near the water heater..

4 days of this goddamn torment..

Long story short it's out with the trash, let it torment the rats in the landfill along with the dead hookers..

Now I can rest easy as I lay my head down tonight not worring about doing any small renovation.. SMH
Click to expand...

Lay off the tren bro
 
machinist9 said:
Good one vision. My wife had the same problem in her closet years ago. Turned out to be a toy and the battery was draining down and it would make a low noise once in a while.
Funny shit brother.
Click to expand...

Yes dude, same shit here we had a Buzz Lightyear in the toy box, it was freaking us out for a while at one time.. once we found out what it was we cleaned out the toy box and we found a dead hermit crab in the bottom.. we were wondering where that thing went! It's always the toys with the batteries that get us going..lol
 
JRotten said:
In college my freshmen year I lived on the top floor of my dorm. Literally thousands of bats lived in the wall. At dusk they would gather under the coping of the roof and just come divebombing past your face if you sat by the window which I did because I smoked at the time. There was a law against kills the bats, and every time I calls maintenance about the fuckers I'd find new glue traps laid in the floor of my room.
Click to expand...

Bro, I did a few Reno's where at one point they must have had bats, I swear when I tell you there was like two foot of shit in the wall.. it was like black rice..
 
Before the wife and I got hitched I was helping her move into my house and dropped a box in the garage. I heard the loudest buzzing noise ever. I brought her out to open the box and she got beet red.
Apparently she’s been a long time customer at dildos r us. Thanks Capt’n.

True story we still laugh about.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
 
tommygunz said:
Before the wife and I got hitched I was helping her move into my house and dropped a box in the garage. I heard the loudest buzzing noise ever. I brought her out to open the box and she got beet red.
Apparently she’s been a long time customer at dildos r us. Thanks Capt’n.

True story we still laugh about.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Click to expand...

This made me LOL.. that is absolutely hilarious..
 
tommygunz said:
Before the wife and I got hitched I was helping her move into my house and dropped a box in the garage. I heard the loudest buzzing noise ever. I brought her out to open the box and she got beet red.
Apparently she’s been a long time customer at dildos r us. Thanks Capt’n.

True story we still laugh about.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Click to expand...
LMAO, better check her order history (bet she used your credit card for that lol) and the Captn's gonna find a way to weasel out of that one I am sure. Bet his dildoes are quality!
 
Vision said:
The stories are fucking hilarious... Yes the toy was my sons it was a stupid ass bat that had a motion detector on it and it would make some sort of noise, I didn't even know bats made noises.. but whatever the sound was I thought it was a fucking cat or something stuck in the walls.

The reason why I immediately thought a cat it's because my ex had balloon framing in her house and the Stray Cats would go through the crawl space up into the walls and you would hear the fucking things.. you would suspect a squirrel first but no it was fucking cats.

When I was a teenager we had a vent on the wall in our house behind the television, I remember sitting down one time eating Fruity Pebbles at 2 in the morning, I heard something behind the TV and long and behold walking right in front of me by my feet was a possum, it walked over to the cat food near the refrigerator and ate it then it walked by me and looked up at me and walked into the hole again and vanished... The entire time I was just frozen like what the fuck is this thing doing! It seriously had no care in the world... Have any of you ever seen one of those things up close and personal? That thing was fucking trifling and scary looking I was not about to disturb it..
Click to expand...


they're nasty looking things up close and you're right, they flat out don't give a fuck. I had one come up on the back deck where we have a dog door, the dogs went after it and tore it apart, just pieces of possum to clean up on the deck. I had another on the porch and it wouldn't go away, I thought it may have had rabies so I didn't put the dogs on it and grabbed a knife and an aluminum baseball bat. I happy gilmored that fucker off the porch and it just ran off hissing!
 
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