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Shitty Situation?

A

AR-15

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Ok so about a month ago I was talking with one of the other farmers around here and he was telling me that he had a niece that cleans houses for a living. You know the same old story. Husband left her high and dry with 2 young kids blah blah blah.

Ofcourse I can’t say no to shit like that so I agreed for her to clean my house twice a month for $60 bucks a clean. I’m by myself and admittedly struggle with life sometimes so why not help someone else out. Win/win right?

So today was her first cleaning day. She did a decent job but here’s the thing. She took a shit in my toilet and left it for me to see.

Now normally I would have just assumed she had to poop and just forgot to flush. Weird yes but I could live with that. This wasn’t that. This was the kinda shit that soon as your done you take pictures of it to show it off.to your friends. It was only like an 1” around but the fucker was like 2ft long and perfectly wrapped around the bowl.

Definitely not the type of shit you take and just forget about it ESPECIALLY at someone else house that you’re supposed to be cleaning. lol

I’m not mad but is this like somekind of sign? Is she trying to tell me something? I immediately thought maybe $60 was too low and it was like a Fuck You shit but she’s the one that came up with it.

She also couldn’t have thought the house was a wreck cause I have OCD like that and I cleaned it before she got here.

What’s next? Shit in the middle of the floor? lol
 
That's actually really gross.

Im unsure what to say.

My housekeeper charges $200 for 2 hours. She does a great job.

We def almost slept together but she was way way too needy and kept talking about a guy she was "dating" that she hasn't seen in 6 years.

That scared me off enough. She still does my house.

One day she came.out and just pulled her pants completely down and stood there for me to see. I didnt know what to do. Normally id move right In and bang her but this one always does weird stuff, so I paid her instead. She laughed and pulled them up.

Talk about mixed signals.. shes also Brazilian. Who the he'll knows what's normal for them.

Ive ruined enough friendships by sleeping w a girl I shouldn't have.
If she pooped in my toilet I think id puke.

Maybe shes setting the stage to show u shes not gonna sleep with you?

I certainly wouldn't want to.

Dogs pee to mark territory. Houskeepers poop?
 
AR-15 said:
Ok so about a month ago I was talking with one of the other farmers around here and he was telling me that he had a niece that cleans houses for a living. You know the same old story. Husband left her high and dry with 2 young kids blah blah blah.

Ofcourse I can’t say no to shit like that so I agreed for her to clean my house twice a month for $60 bucks a clean. I’m by myself and admittedly struggle with life sometimes so why not help someone else out. Win/win right?

So today was her first cleaning day. She did a decent job but here’s the thing. She took a shit in my toilet and left it for me to see.

Now normally I would have just assumed she had to poop and just forgot to flush. Weird yes but I could live with that. This wasn’t that. This was the kinda shit that soon as your done you take pictures of it to show it off.to your friends. It was only like an 1” around but the fucker was like 2ft long and perfectly wrapped around the bowl.

Definitely not the type of shit you take and just forget about it ESPECIALLY at someone else house that you’re supposed to be cleaning. lol

I’m not mad but is this like somekind of sign? Is she trying to tell me something? I immediately thought maybe $60 was too low and it was like a Fuck You shit but she’s the one that came up with it.

She also couldn’t have thought the house was a wreck cause I have OCD like that and I cleaned it before she got here.

What’s next? Shit in the middle of the floor? lol
Click to expand...
She flushed, and that big ole’ brown submarine tried to submerge but got stuck and bounced back up. I had an ex do that.
 
Big_Jimmy434 said:
No Pic. No Proof. 🤣
Click to expand...

Believe me this is the one fucking time I wish I wouldn’t have panicked and flushed it right away. The turd was pretty fucking impressive especially from a chic. A picture would have been epic.

I just couldn’t help it though. In the moment I lifted the lid and was like Ahhhh hey wtf and hurried up and flushed it.
 
squat to death said:
Are you going to bring it up next time she cleans?
Are you going to fire her?
Do you want to be a step dad?
Click to expand...

No way in hell am I bringing it up.

No not unless her pooping becomes a thing

No interest in being her stepdad. (????)
 
AR-15 said:
No way in hell am I bringing it up.

No not unless her pooping becomes a thing

No interest in being her stepdad. (????)
Click to expand...
Last one was a joke.
Hopefully the poop was a one and done.
If the poop becomes a problem then fire her.
 
this is really bizar I would bring it up, in a matter of fact and no big deal kinda way, say something like hey that was a real impressive turd you left in my toilet, ask her if she taking psyllium husk
 
heckler7 said:
this is really bizar I would bring it up, in a matter of fact and no big deal kinda way, say something like hey that was a real impressive turd you left in my toilet, ask her if she taking psyllium husk
Click to expand...

I was gonna compliment her on her overall health. If I’m not mistaken those type of turds are considered perfect according to the poop chart. Lol
 
$60 wow. Can't get breakfast for $60 where I am at. Our housekeepers (2 ladies) show up for 3 hours and charge $250 twice a month and from what I am being told that is a bargain.
 
ask her if she knows why police flush the toilet? because its their doody
 
Wiseguy said:
$60 wow. Can't get breakfast for $60 where I am at. Our housekeepers (2 ladies) show up for 3 hours and charge $250 twice a month and from what I am being told that is a bargain.
Click to expand...

Well just so everyone doesn’t think Im some cheapass fuck. I thought it was a pretty low price for a clean too but she chose that to start. I mean she was by herself and was also pretty much done in 2 hrs cause she really only dusted and used the sweeper on the lower floor. I told her not to worry about the bedrooms upstairs. Everything else was nice and tight. So $30 an hour to dust and vacuum half the house and she apparently gets to use my toilet too. That’s fair where I come from.
 
AR-15 said:
Well just so everyone doesn’t think Im some cheapass fuck. I thought it was a pretty low price for a clean too but she chose that to start. I mean she was by herself and was also pretty much done in 2 hrs cause she really only dusted and used the sweeper on the lower floor. I told her not to worry about the bedrooms upstairs. Everything else was nice and tight. So $30 an hour to dust and vacuum half the house and she apparently gets to use my toilet too. That’s fair where I come from.
Click to expand...
You're not cheap. My wife ran a cleaning business. That's the going rate for an average size house house that's kept up.
 
Fat Mike01 said:
Should have took a pic to ad credibility to this AR
Click to expand...

You know there was a dude that came here for awhile a few years back that had a question about his asshole or something around his asshole. Can’t remember exactly but the sick fuck posted pics of his hairy ass asshole for everyone to see.

That’s gonna be me from now on. I have a pimple next to my asshole? Yup I’m posting a pic for you fuckers that want pics all the time. Sore nuts? No problem. I’m posting a pic of my big hanging bull balls for you guys? Question about my penis? Yup you guessed it. Picture Time!!!

Let’s see who wants pics after a few weeks of AR-15 EXPOSED!!! 😂🍆😂🤷‍♂️😁🖕
 
AR-15 said:
You know there was a dude that came here for awhile a few years back that had a question about his asshole or something around his asshole. Can’t remember exactly but the sick fuck posted pics of his hairy ass asshole for everyone to see.

That’s gonna be me from now on. I have a pimple next to my asshole? Yup I’m posting a pic for you fuckers that want pics all the time. Sore nuts? No problem. I’m posting a pic of my big hanging bull balls for you guys? Question about my penis? Yup you guessed it. Picture Time!!!

Let’s see who wants pics after a few weeks of AR-15 EXPOSED!!! 😂🍆😂🤷‍♂️😁🖕
Click to expand...
Don't threaten us with a good time.🤣
 

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