not another depression or mental health thread

[WhiteApe]

If no one’s said it, proud of you for starting! That’s a big thing to do. It’ll probably seem pretty lame at some times, depending on the doc, but it’s really helped me.

Thank you sir. I did a lot of research before hand and really found someone I vibe with. Yeah you pay them but you still have to feel like they can understand you and there be some sort of connection.

I was emotionally exhausted after an hour and it seemed like we hit 100 topics.

Honestly just a lot of transitions this last year. Divorced. Promoted. A larger promotion on the horizon. Want to be a better dad. Probably need to deal with some childhood stuff and military stuff.

I figured I pay for a coach to help with nutrition and guide me. I pay for body work. I’m doing all this work on my body. Why not pay a professional to get my mind right?

 

[Big_Jimmy434]

I figured I pay for a coach to help with nutrition and guide me. I pay for body work. I’m doing all this work on my body. Why not pay a professional to get my mind right?

Amen! I share these sentiments also. After going through it many times myself, I am a believer in counseling. People keep it "hush hush" like its something to be ashamed of, but I look at it like this...

I workout and I'm proud to talk about improvements and work I'm doing to my physical health.

Men will go to church and be proud to discuss their improvements and work om their spiritual health.

We should be proud to discuss the things we are doing to strengthen ourselves and improve our mental health also.

I think there was always a stigma around mental health counseling, and I try to normalize talking and being open about it. Ita brutal and its the hardest work that youll ever do but the payoffs are reqarding for you and everyone in your life. Much like you, I did it because I wanted to be a better person and a better father. Good for you brother!

 

[E.J.D]

thats a comfort thing, but you still need to connect with friends, make sure you have a healthy balance

True.. human nature is inclined to talk about themselves.. few people can actually listen and wait for their turn to talk. So by letting others talk while actively listening then asking questions at the right cues people usually will figure out what they need to do by themselves..

 

[Big_Jimmy434]

True.. human nature is inclined to talk about themselves.. few people can actually listen and wait for their turn to talk. So by letting others talk while actively listening then asking questions at the right cues people usually will figure out what they need to do by themselves..

So very true. In a conversation, there are two kinds of people: The ones that listen, and the ones that are just waiting to respond. They are two very different things.

It's really quite embarrassing for grown men to do it though. I often see videos of someone's lifting accomplishment. One of those "Finally hit my Deadlift PR" video. I will Go scroll the 3k comments and there are always three kinds of comments:

1. "This ain't shit, I can do more than you"
Aka. The classic I feel less than and threatened and I've compared my manhood to yours so I have to make sure that you know that I am more of a man that you.

2. "You cheated and this doesn't count"
Aka. I don't have any accomplishment greater than yours to brag about so I have to resort to discrediting you because if I don't, then I'm less of a man than you are and my dad was right, I'm a worthless.

3. "Great Job."
Aka. Normally just that one comment from one guy that is secure in his manhood.

It's quite embarrassing for grown ass men to sound like a bunch of kindergarden kids. "Oh yeah, well my daddy can deadlift more than your daddy." Men know what it's like to feel beat down, neglected, unwanted, and unappreciated but ironically, no one makes us feel like that more than other men.

The only way that we can rise, is by lifting others!

 

[Nick060200]

For anyone going through a tough time right now. I'm truly sorry. There are seasons to life and this is just a season. I can confidently say that Jesus is the answer. He is the healer of all things. He loves you and wants a relationship with you.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalms 55:22 Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken.

 

[MBW212]

I don’t go out with friends anymore, once you reach 40 you have very few friends, that life of me going out with friends is long gone…. I do have a very good relationship with my father I seen that on the list, me and my father always been close and I wouldn’t trade that for anything

 

[oldbull]

I was never abused by anyone but somehow managed to fuck my self up in the head pretty good all on my own, lol!

Talking about your problems to friends is pointless because I know they don’t really want to hear it. I’ve bitched a bit on this forum about losing my sex drive on account of quitting booze, and it sort of makes me feel better, but it doesn’t ultimately change the fact I still have very little sex drive, lol…

 

[heckler7]

True.. human nature is inclined to talk about themselves.. few people can actually listen and wait for their turn to talk. So by letting others talk while actively listening then asking questions at the right cues people usually will figure out what they need to do by themselves..

you get something different out of hanging and talking to friends you dont have to vent your problems but youll see you arent alone we are all coping, and you can form those bonds with your homies

 

[brr2496]

So very true. In a conversation, there are two kinds of people: The ones that listen, and the ones that are just waiting to respond. They are two very different things.

I would edit this myself to say, “the ones that listen, and the ones that are just waiting for their turn to talk (about themselves) again.

I wish more people understood actually listening to what is said. I think the issue is a lack of compassion. So many people just don’t give a SHIT about others and it’s very sad.

 

[heckler7]

I would edit this myself to say, “the ones that listen, and the ones that are just waiting for their turn to talk (about themselves) again.

I wish more people understood actually listening to what is said. I think the issue is a lack of compassion. So many people just don’t give a SHIT about others and it’s very sad.

are you applying to all people, if you have real friends they listen

 

[E.J.D]

 

[Big Puppy]

as far as wimmen are concerned and talking to them about problems.... here's rule #2

Rule #2 Your husband is the most unintelligent person on the planet, contrary to any accolades or external validation

 

[oldbull]

I would edit this myself to say, “the ones that listen, and the ones that are just waiting for their turn to talk (about themselves) again.

I wish more people understood actually listening to what is said. I think the issue is a lack of compassion. So many people just don’t give a SHIT about others and it’s very sad.

Well, sometimes it is awkward to complain when your life is materially better than your friends but you still have that incessant internal voice telling you that you’re a loser. I can see why they might tell me: you own your house, have a decent job, a beautiful longtime wife, what are you whining about? Look at me!

But the fact other people aren’t doing as well doesn’t make me feel any better about things at all — if anything, it makes life seem more bleak sometimes. It’s tough trying to explain that, though, so I’ve decided not to bother.

The fact of the matter is most of us are comparing ourselves against an idealized version of ourselves, then getting unhappy when it’s always out of reach.

And it will always be out of reach. If you’d told me 20 years ago: this is how your career and financial picture will be in the future, I would have been thrilled, because everything was much more uncertain and unstable back then.

Now, I want to accomplish something more with my life and worry I have peaked, when 20 years ago that peak would have seemed great.

That inner drive to achieve more is what sets us apart as humans — it’s why we are constantly trying to building something that lasts, rather than being content to lay in the sun and lick our balls like a dog.

At the same time, that drive makes us restless and dissatisfied. Same thing with anxiety — as a species, it is probably why we dominate the food chain. We are always computing scenarios and solutions.

Yet it can make life seem pretty bleak even when it objectively is not.

Realizing these things isn’t much of a solution, either: I constantly tell myself “stop worrying” and “stop having unrealistic expectations,” but my brain refuses to comply with those orders.

The only thing I can come up with is just to accept that I’ll always be restless and striving, constantly criticizing myself, because it’s a matter of evolutionary biology. There is no off switch, so I might as well stop driving myself crazy looking for it…

 

[Rajput]

I have a friend like this that gets fired from every job because he can’t keep his mouth shut and he always complains that shit is going wrong in his life.Everything that happens to him is his own fault yet he thinks he has bad luck. A real friend doesn’t sugar coat shit. Sometimes you have to be blunt so they can see their flaws.Instead of complaining all the time, make changes in your life and attitude, no one is going to do it for you.

I have a friend like that too.
Gets fired from every job.
He thinks he's better and smarter than bis boss. He thinks other people are idiots ans only he knows the job.
Every time he gets fired. I abuse the fuck our of that dipshit and then i take him out for food.
I'm glad he finally landed a job where he sticked for past one year. Told him to stfu and work. Don't give the client what you want. Give them what they want. The boss is boss for a reason. He's not an idiot by default.
So far so good. Fingers crossed.

Sent from my SM-S908E using Tapatalk

 

[Wally954]

Well, sometimes it is awkward to complain when your life is materially better than your friends but you still have that incessant internal voice telling you that you’re a loser. I can see why they might tell me: you own your house, have a decent job, a beautiful longtime wife, what are you whining about? Look at me!

But the fact other people aren’t doing as well doesn’t make me feel any better about things at all — if anything, it makes life seem more bleak sometimes. It’s tough trying to explain that, though, so I’ve decided not to bother.

The fact of the matter is most of us are comparing ourselves against an idealized version of ourselves, then getting unhappy when it’s always out of reach.

And it will always be out of reach. If you’d told me 20 years ago: this is how your career and financial picture will be in the future, I would have been thrilled, because everything was much more uncertain and unstable back then.

Now, I want to accomplish something more with my life and worry I have peaked, when 20 years ago that peak would have seemed great.

That inner drive to achieve more is what sets us apart as humans — it’s why we are constantly trying to building something that lasts, rather than being content to lay in the sun and lick our balls like a dog.

At the same time, that drive makes us restless and dissatisfied. Same thing with anxiety — as a species, it is probably why we dominate the food chain. We are always computing scenarios and solutions.

Yet it can make life seem pretty bleak even when it objectively is not.

Realizing these things isn’t much of a solution, either: I constantly tell myself “stop worrying” and “stop having unrealistic expectations,” but my brain refuses to comply with those orders.

The only thing I can come up with is just to accept that I’ll always be restless and striving, constantly criticizing myself, because it’s a matter of evolutionary biology. There is no off switch, so I might as well stop driving myself crazy looking for it…

I always said if I knew what I know now when I was 18-20 years old, I would be a millionaire who would’ve fucked all the extra chicks that I let get away for no good reason at all. But I’ve worked so hard my whole life to establish myself doing what I never wanted to do that I just became content with what I have. anyone can be a millionaire if they want to deal with the extra bullshit needed to be a cutthroat and always worried about money. Life is a lot more than money and material shit. Everybody that I know who is really rich has a shit spirit and their life is consumed by maintaining and getting money at all times. You have to be a special breed that doesn’t give a shit about anybody or anything else in order to make all that money and I’m definitely not interested in that, more money more problems and no matter how much money you make you will always feel you need more to satisfy you.That’s why I am thankful for what I have, I have a nice house and a beautiful family and I spend money on anything that I want, but I’d never rip anybody off or lie in my business or push shit on people that they don’t need and I sleep beautifully at night knowing that all my customers love me and look at me as family and completely trust me 100%. When I was growing up, my father always told me don’t lie or cheat anyone and don’t worry about the money just do the work the best I can and the money will come. when you get to the middle of your life in your 40s, there’s a lot more important things in life that are way more meaningful than money, time is the most precious commodity on this earth and if you don’t have time to do the things that you like and spend time with family then all the money in the world is worthless

 

[adrock25]

Last night, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that she wanted me to come over and hang out. When I got there she was standing in the garage, kids inside. I walked in the garage for her to say, “hey don’t go inside, we’re over.” Someone I have spent the last few years completely dedicated to. Invested so much in building relationships with her kids, and her relationship with my kid. Total fucking waste of years of my life.

Add on top of that, my career is literally falling apart. I’m a freelancer and business has fucking sucked the last 8 months or so. A deer ran into my car (like just ran into the side of my car) last week. My son’s mother is moving about 30 mins away and for me to maintain 50/50 custody, I have to live within 15 miles of his new school.

Life. Fucking. Sucks.

 

[WhiteApe]

Dude that’s heavy and a lot all at one time. Stay strong. There’s no other option

 

[adrock25]

I would edit this myself to say, “the ones that listen, and the ones that are just waiting for their turn to talk (about themselves) again.

I wish more people understood actually listening to what is said. I think the issue is a lack of compassion. So many people just don’t give a SHIT about others and it’s very sad.

That last line hits hard.

 

[Big Puppy]

Last night, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that she wanted me to come over and hang out. When I got there she was standing in the garage, kids inside. I walked in the garage for her to say, “hey don’t go inside, we’re over.” Someone I have spent the last few years completely dedicated to. Invested so much in building relationships with her kids, and her relationship with my kid. Total fucking waste of years of my life.

Add on top of that, my career is literally falling apart. I’m a freelancer and business has fucking sucked the last 8 months or so. A deer ran into my car (like just ran into the side of my car) last week. My son’s mother is moving about 30 mins away and for me to maintain 50/50 custody, I have to live within 15 miles of his new school.

Life. Fucking. Sucks.

so she can move and force you to move?

 

[Wally954]

Last night, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that she wanted me to come over and hang out. When I got there she was standing in the garage, kids inside. I walked in the garage for her to say, “hey don’t go inside, we’re over.” Someone I have spent the last few years completely dedicated to. Invested so much in building relationships with her kids, and her relationship with my kid. Total fucking waste of years of my life.

Add on top of that, my career is literally falling apart. I’m a freelancer and business has fucking sucked the last 8 months or so. A deer ran into my car (like just ran into the side of my car) last week. My son’s mother is moving about 30 mins away and for me to maintain 50/50 custody, I have to live within 15 miles of his new school.

Life. Fucking. Sucks.

Don’t let it get to you, no matter what happens in life it can always be worse. Everything is temporary .A woman that already has kids should be thrilled that someone else would want to be with her.You don’t need unappreciative women in your life. Take it as a blessing and move on to something new. if I were in your shoes, I would use all the bullshit you’re going through as motivation to better yourself, I know it hurts, but pain can be a excellent motivator .As time passes You will forget all the shit you’re dealing with now and come back stronger . Sometimes we get tested in life at the worst times for a reason.

 

[oldbull]

I always said if I knew what I know now when I was 18-20 years old, I would be a millionaire who would’ve fucked all the extra chicks that I let get away for no good reason at all. But I’ve worked so hard my whole life to establish myself doing what I never wanted to do that I just became content with what I have. anyone can be a millionaire if they want to deal with the extra bullshit needed to be a cutthroat and always worried about money. Life is a lot more than money and material shit. Everybody that I know who is really rich has a shit spirit and their life is consumed by maintaining and getting money at all times. You have to be a special breed that doesn’t give a shit about anybody or anything else in order to make all that money and I’m definitely not interested in that, more money more problems and no matter how much money you make you will always feel you need more to satisfy you.That’s why I am thankful for what I have, I have a nice house and a beautiful family and I spend money on anything that I want, but I’d never rip anybody off or lie in my business or push shit on people that they don’t need and I sleep beautifully at night knowing that all my customers love me and look at me as family and completely trust me 100%. When I was growing up, my father always told me don’t lie or cheat anyone and don’t worry about the money just do the work the best I can and the money will come. when you get to the middle of your life in your 40s, there’s a lot more important things in life that are way more meaningful than money, time is the most precious commodity on this earth and if you don’t have time to do the things that you like and spend time with family then all the money in the world is worthless

I agree with you about money, but that is generally not what gets me down — I don’t need to be rich, just to feel like I have achieved something. Which I have with my career, but now that doesn’t seem sufficient. Not about measuring with dollars but a more intangible sense of achievement. In the grand scheme of things, though, I suppose the same principle applies. We will all be forgotten eventually — just look at all those world-famous movie stars from the 40s. Vast majority of people don’t even know their names anymore…

 

[Wally954]

I agree with you about money, but that is generally not what gets me down — I don’t need to be rich, just to feel like I have achieved something. Which I have with my career, but now that doesn’t seem sufficient. Not about measuring with dollars but a more intangible sense of achievement. In the grand scheme of things, though, I suppose the same principle applies. We will all be forgotten eventually — just look at all those world-famous movie stars from the 40s. Vast majority of people don’t even know their names anymore…

You should get into some kind of hobbies, I’ve done a ton of shit with my spare time, I always have energy to learn new shit, it’s what keeps me sane is to master different things in life that interests me. Since I was a little kid I would study in encyclopedias and learn everything that I ever wanted to know And as I’ve grown older, I’ve been through so many different things that I’ve mastered.To me Those are the accomplishments that make me happy in life. In my spare time I build firearms,reload ammunition,rebuild show cars and race engines,i fish and race cars ,I am a master electrician whether it be low voltage controls ,high voltage and components ,ac/dc electrical systems,automotive electrical system,I’ve been running a commercial and residential hvac business for 28 years in Miami.Anytime I get into something I take it to the limit until I learn everything possible and move on to something else when I’ve mastered it. I’ve had so many stupid little hobbies that keep me occupied and fulfilled in life,I’ve dabbled in horticulture,alternative and modern medicine,chemistry and physics,even metal detecting and panning for gold. Just find something that interests you and learn it and do it. And the most important thing in life is to start a family, and to have children to pass on your bloodline, you don’t leave nothing on this earth when you go except for your bloodline. Even if you’re not married, you should still have children, it is the sole purpose of being on this earth and you will continue to live through your children after you’re gone

 

[oldbull]

You should get into some kind of hobbies, I’ve done a ton of shit with my spare time, I always have energy to learn new shit, it’s what keeps me sane is to master different things in life that interests me. Since I was a little kid I would study in encyclopedias and learn everything that I ever wanted to know And as I’ve grown older, I’ve been through so many different things that I’ve mastered.To me Those are the accomplishments that make me happy in life. In my spare time I build firearms,reload ammunition,rebuild show cars and race engines,i fish and race cars ,I am a master electrician whether it be low voltage controls ,high voltage and components ,ac/dc electrical systems,automotive electrical system,I’ve been running a commercial and residential hvac business for 28 years in Miami.Anytime I get into something I take it to the limit until I learn everything possible and move on to something else when I’ve mastered it. I’ve had so many stupid little hobbies that keep me occupied and fulfilled in life,I’ve dabbled in horticulture,alternative and modern medicine,chemistry and physics,even metal detecting and panning for gold. Just find something that interests you and learn it and do it. And the most important thing in life is to start a family, and to have children to pass on your bloodline, you don’t leave nothing on this earth when you go except for your bloodline. Even if you’re not married, you should still have children, it is the sole purpose of being on this earth and you will continue to live through your children after you’re gone

Oh, I have a hobby: wood carving. I do it obsessively, sometimes more than 12 hours at a stretch. But that same preoccupation with achievement affects the hobby — I want to be the best, even though the likelihood of becoming the next Rodin or Michelangelo are nil, lol

 

[WhiteApe]

And the most important thing in life is to start a family, and to have children to pass on your bloodline, you don’t leave nothing on this earth when you go except for your bloodline. Even if you’re not married, you should still have children, it is the sole purpose of being on this earth and you will continue to live through your children after you’re gone

I really needed to hear this today. I do have one son and always said I didn’t want more. I think deep down I want many, many children. Unfortunately (or fortunately) they won’t be with my sons mother.

 

[Bando]

Dads on his Deathbead..... Moved him to Hospice today.

Taxes getting done tonight.... I'll owe in the tens of thousands. Thinking
30-50k this year.

All family will be gone other than my Older sister and my 2 nephews that live 3.5hrs away.

Life is a bitch

That’s sad as shit, man. If you don’t mind me asking, besides gears and gym, what makes you happy? What makes life worth living?

 

[Bolan]

That’s sad as shit, man. If you don’t mind me asking, besides gears and gym, what makes you happy? What makes life worth living?

Fast cars and loose women

I train 22 guys and they are my extended family.
I also make a damn good living without a collage degree..lol
My older sister got pissed at me when I told her HOW MUCH I had to pay in for taxes. She dont even make as much per year, that I have to pay in this yr,...lol