body dysmorphia

[Crusty_69]

Today my wife and I were taking some pictures at the gym, and I had my shirt off. My mother-in-law was there too, and they were both hyping me up, telling me how much bigger I’ve gotten since just this past November.

The crazy part is, I honestly don’t see it. I still feel small as shit.

My wife struggles with the same thing. I know muscle doesn’t grow overnight, and I’m sure a lot of us deal with this disconnect between how we actually look and how we see ourselves.

For those of you who have dealt with this, how do you manage it? What are some things that have helped you recognize your progress and not constantly feel like you’re still small?

And especially for those of you with a partner who struggles with the same thing: what can I do or say to help my wife actually see that she’s losing weight, building muscle, and making progress, even when she doesn’t see it herself?

Would really appreciate any advice or experiences from people who have been through this.

 

[chadmack]

Its definitely a challenge, i have strangers tell me how jacked i am but i dont see it.
At 52yo, 5'8", 200+#, under 15%bf i know i carry some muscle but for me the process is so slow/gradual i cant tell the difference.

 

[Meetketchup]

Welcome to the club. This biggest and most shredded guys in the gym are usually the ones who have it the most.

In all serious, REAL dysmorphia is not so much being self-conscious that you aren't big enough or whatever compared to others who work out. It's when you are so delusional that you can't comprehend you are in better shape than the average person. Think of anorexia as an example.

 

[Slowsol]

Take regular progress pictures and compare them over time. At first I was impatient and thought I wasn’t making quick enough progress. But once I started taking weekly progress pictures and comparing them it’s very easy to see what’s changing

 

[jjf434]

Plenty of people will be an asshole to you in life. Don’t be one of them, too. Love yourself. Seriously. One day you’re gonna be an old man and look back at pics of yourself and wish you were easier on yourself and be like “fuck I looked great.” my grandfather always said that we spend the majority of our life as old men. Enjoy your early years because they go fast and eventually you can’t beat aging.

Don’t ever become complacent. But take the time to pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you’re proud of yourself. I’ve been on this forum for all of 2 weeks and I’ve already “met” a handful of folks that have been so welcoming and helpful. If you ever need people to hype you up post some pics on here and I’m sure you’ll find plenty of people on here to rally around you.

As far as your wife goes, just take the time everyday to tell her she looks great. Never stop dating her. Flirt with her the same way you did when you were chasing her.

You’ll always want to chase more size. Never be satisfied but take the time to smell the roses and be proud of yourself brother.

 

[Hablooblah]

Today my wife and I were taking some pictures at the gym, and I had my shirt off. My mother-in-law was there too, and they were both hyping me up, telling me how much bigger I’ve gotten since just this past November.

The crazy part is, I honestly don’t see it. I still feel small as shit.

My wife struggles with the same thing. I know muscle doesn’t grow overnight, and I’m sure a lot of us deal with this disconnect between how we actually look and how we see ourselves.

For those of you who have dealt with this, how do you manage it? What are some things that have helped you recognize your progress and not constantly feel like you’re still small?

And especially for those of you with a partner who struggles with the same thing: what can I do or say to help my wife actually see that she’s losing weight, building muscle, and making progress, even when she doesn’t see it herself?

Would really appreciate any advice or experiences from people who have been through this.

For the past few months to a year ive really had alot of ppl close to me engage in a conversation that pretty much could be summed up by "youre getting too big, you need to stop". I dont see it, I really dont. But coworkers and family both have said things like that. Hadn't seen my mom in a pretty long while and last I saw her(i was at 12% bf and have abs at rest mind you) she literally said "you are huge you look disgusting". Thanks Mom 'preciate it!... Body dysmorphia is definitely real and im starting to think its going to increase parallel with gaining more size. To those of us who have it its a shitty deal really, no matter how hard we work we'll never be satisfied with ourselves.
How to combat it? @Slowsol has the right idea above...progress pictures dont lie.

 

[SupremeSapper7]

Today my wife and I were taking some pictures at the gym, and I had my shirt off. My mother-in-law was there too, and they were both hyping me up, telling me how much bigger I’ve gotten since just this past November.

The crazy part is, I honestly don’t see it. I still feel small as shit.

My wife struggles with the same thing. I know muscle doesn’t grow overnight, and I’m sure a lot of us deal with this disconnect between how we actually look and how we see ourselves.

For those of you who have dealt with this, how do you manage it? What are some things that have helped you recognize your progress and not constantly feel like you’re still small?

And especially for those of you with a partner who struggles with the same thing: what can I do or say to help my wife actually see that she’s losing weight, building muscle, and making progress, even when she doesn’t see it herself?

Would really appreciate any advice or experiences from people who have been through this.

I genuinely struggle very much with body dysmorphia. What has helped me some & helps keep me motivated is using a body tape. I measure myself frequently and keep a dated log written down that also includes my bodyweight. I can actually see that im growing and that helps me. Not completely making it go away, I still look small when I see myself, but helps enough for me.

 

[Crusty_69]

Damn lots of great advice guys, I got so good ideas now for my wife and I.

I really do appreciate the help and guidance.

 

[jjf434]

Damn lots of great advice guys, I got so good ideas now for my wife and I.

I really do appreciate the help and guidance.

Of course. I feel like I speak for everyone here that we are always here to pick each other up

 

[Buff Bagwell]

Most body builders seem the same pile of garbage in mirror. We are most insecure people on planet. Some days you feel good about yourself and if lighting is just right, and you like what you see in mirror. There are days where you wear a certain T-shirt that you feel you were strecthing to the max and feel like people are looking at you, then the following week, it didn't wash just right or didn't shrink right in wash and you wear again. This time it feels a lot looser. Whatever the reason may be, you tell yourself you lost 20 pounds in one week and went back to square one and you pull yourself apart and feel weak in gym

 

[AR-15]

Don’t even get me started. Not being a dick but I know I look good body wise. (Kills me to even say that). I mean I’m constantly comparing myself here and everywhere else so I’m not stupid but it still literally kills me to take a picture or pose in a mirror. It’s ridiculous but I’m powerless against it.

All honesty Inshould be posting body pics everywhere and not worry but for me it’s almost impossible.

I still hate everything about my looks. It’s never good enough. At the end of the day though that’s what drives me a lot of the time. It’s also why I seclude myself on my farm. The constant comparisons get old.

Wish I knew how to fix it brother cause I’d definitely tell ya. I guess try and spin it as a positive and use it as motivation. That’s all I got.

 

[Hablooblah]

Most body builders seem the same pile of garbage in mirror. We are most insecure people on planet. Some days you feel good about yourself and if lighting is just right, and you like what you see in mirror. There are days where you wear a certain T-shirt that you feel you were strecthing to the max and feel like people are looking at you, then the following week, it didn't wash just right or didn't shrink right in wash and you wear again. This time it feels a lot looser. Whatever the reason may be, you tell yourself you lost 20 pounds in one week and went back to square one and you pull yourself apart and feel weak in gym

Every word of this is true