Hi everyone, @everyone
I want to be honest with you — really honest.
When everything with Z came to light, I didn’t just lose trust in him. I lost trust in myself. I was the one who gave him access. I was the one who believed him when he told me he needed help. I thought I was doing the right thing, and instead, I opened the door for him to hurt all of you.
I was hurt — deeply. Not just because he used me, but because I couldn’t stop what happened. I felt stupid, embarrassed, and completely lost. And instead of facing things clearly, I shut down. I pulled away. I let the fear and shame take over.
In trying to protect myself, I ended up making things worse. I wasn’t as present as I should have been. I wasn’t as clear as I should have been. And for that, I’m truly sorry.
I know an apology doesn’t undo what happened. But I want you to understand: I never intended for any of this. I never wanted to let you down. I was hurting, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I got lost in the mess, and I made mistakes along the way.
To those of you who still reached out with kindness — thank you. To those who gave me grace even when I didn’t deserve it — thank you. To anyone who has been patient with me while I figured things out — thank you from the bottom of my heart. You helped me remember who I am underneath all this.
I’m still trying to find my way back. But I’m here, I’m listening, and I’m not running anymore.
Thank you for giving me the chance to say this.
I want to be honest with you — really honest.
When everything with Z came to light, I didn’t just lose trust in him. I lost trust in myself. I was the one who gave him access. I was the one who believed him when he told me he needed help. I thought I was doing the right thing, and instead, I opened the door for him to hurt all of you.
I was hurt — deeply. Not just because he used me, but because I couldn’t stop what happened. I felt stupid, embarrassed, and completely lost. And instead of facing things clearly, I shut down. I pulled away. I let the fear and shame take over.
In trying to protect myself, I ended up making things worse. I wasn’t as present as I should have been. I wasn’t as clear as I should have been. And for that, I’m truly sorry.
I know an apology doesn’t undo what happened. But I want you to understand: I never intended for any of this. I never wanted to let you down. I was hurting, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I got lost in the mess, and I made mistakes along the way.
To those of you who still reached out with kindness — thank you. To those who gave me grace even when I didn’t deserve it — thank you. To anyone who has been patient with me while I figured things out — thank you from the bottom of my heart. You helped me remember who I am underneath all this.
I’m still trying to find my way back. But I’m here, I’m listening, and I’m not running anymore.
Thank you for giving me the chance to say this.
