Wives

[heavyiron]

If the day is important to her, you are kind of dumb not to make it important. I usually go with "its super busy on a Holiday or weekend so let's celebrate on a different day of the week". Then I plan something real nice for us.

You can probably salvage this if you act soon.

 

[ordawg1]

If the day is important to her, you are kind of dumb not to make it important. I usually go with "its super busy on a Holiday or weekend so let's celebrate on a different day of the week". Then I plan something real nice for us.

You can probably salvage this if you act soon.

^^^^ great advice - just treat her the way you would want to be treated - pretty simple -been married 50 years and has worked for us ~

 

[can1]

Before I answer that I have to ask how much you charge an hour. I can’t afford expensive therapy this week, I just fueled up the RV and I still need lunch money.

this is some funny shit^^^^

 

[Oldman85]

The shits important to her, so I make it important to me.

It’s simple. Set reminders in your phone 4-6 weeks out from important dates: anniversaries, birthdays, valentines, etc.

 

[tommygunz]

Somebody mentioned converting to Jehovahs Witness, FYI, anniversaries are the only thing that they DO celebrate.

 

[Augustine5I]

Somebody mentioned converting to Jehovahs Witness, FYI, anniversaries are the only thing that they DO celebrate.

Lol. That’s true.

My ex mother in law was JW

Ppl think they are a cult. They aren’t.

They think that God is God. Jesus was his son. End of story.

A lot of ppl think this way.

Or? Maybe you are catholic and believe God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit are are all “one.” Idk

Me? Not willing to give up my bday and Christmas celebration

 

[Augustine5I]

first off. I like you man. I still have that fix your marriage thingy that you posted years back. I can relate to your way of thinking and I appreciate all the insight.

1.) not everyone gets lucky as far as 100% compatibility and broads don’t stay the same for very long.

2.) I would keep your very specific fantasy just that because I imagine your relationship might not be as fulfilling should you two act on it lol

I mean no offense. My wife and I are stable for the most part. I just like to see other husbands experiences in these matters just to see if I’m totally off based or if it’s just part of the deal. Yes, “important dates” don’t stick in my mind and I should utilize my phone for reminders. I haven’t a clue as to why that never occurred to me until a few of you guys mentioned that. I feel pretty dumb for that actually. Haha

anyways. Wives… they are a very special group of people indeed.

I think coach is right tho. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. If I approach it that way, I’ll be more successful in the “keeping her happy” game. Because I’ll be prepared for her next move.

Too late bro.

She has her stud coming over once a week for sleep over.

He wants to start twice a week. Idk if I can handle that.

He gets his cock behind her cervix… she says it’s amazing.

 

[Milford King]

I get it… but our wedding anniversary is in July… why is me asking her out in March of 2002 still a celebratory date? I thought it was all supposed to be consolidated to one date.

I feel she is greedy.

I will set reminders on my phone for the future…. But… I’m gonna pretend to forget still. Otherwise I wouldn’t be me. And that date is important to her because of me, right?

I’m gonna also make a list of shit that’s important to me. And if this isn’t a meet halfway type of thing then … I’ll give her Augustines email address…

 

[AMA Rides]

Fuck her real good man. Go on a date, flirt all night. First orgasm with your fingers. Second orgasm your tongue. Third orgasm your Johnson ( think about your taxes so you get to some " spirited " fucking. Make her so tired that she doesn't know whether to shit or go blind ? That'd buy you a month...

 

[Milford King]

I have been married for 40 years, believe me there are ebbs and flows to every marriage. We have been near divorced a couple of times and I still call her a cunt when she acts like one. But to assume that two people will mature and still have common values after 40 years is absurd. Our arguments these days are over dumb shit, we have been through so much shit over our life together that at times we were each others only salvation, the only ones we each could lean on. The early years we were doing our own thing going out with our own friends and then the kid raising years, and now we are in the late years where we sit around listening to music and having drinks together and we are really enjoying each others company. It's a long road. But if you stay on it long enough until the stressors peel away, life becomes enjoyable again. That's where we are now and it's not a bad place to be....

this is probably the best post on this topic so far. Touché sir. You’re right. My simple mind thought for sure we’d mature with the same thought patterns …. Didn’t happen. But.. it could be way worse. She’s a good egg all in all. I coulda really fucked my life up a while back but something was telling me not to. So I listened.

this woman is my high School sweetheart. She knows me better than I know myself and I’ve put her through just as much shit as she put me through… so putting a reminder on my phone doesn’t seem like such an hassle now.

Please, gentlemen, feel free to use this thread for future relationship navigation. Some of these old assholes have been there before and their wisdom is priceless.

thank you. That is all.

 

[Milford King]

Fuck her real good man. Go on a date, flirt all night. First orgasm with your fingers. Second orgasm your tongue. Third orgasm your Johnson ( think about your taxes so you get to some " spirited " fucking. Make her so tired that she doesn't know whether to shit or go blind ? That'd buy you a month...

lol


she hates it when I donkey punch her so taxes is a no go but I like your style brother that cracked me up.

 

[Milford King]

Yep...so far I haven't had to do anything twice. Except painting.

ahhh. I refuse to paint. She’s the painter. I purposefully did a superb job fuckin the walls up. Never had to paint again.

 

[Milford King]

I married my wife on the same day we met two years later (no way to forget either). When she does get ticked at me I usually let her cool down, then a bath and foot rub, and you know the rest. Put in a little extra effort in the sack and break out the magic wand and she is good to go the next day. Never let the sun set on an argument.

the cool thing is she wasn’t giving me the silent treatment when I got home from work tonight. So….. if my dog wasn’t such a cockblocker I’d take your advice. The back/foot rub thing is right up her alley tho.

does your thumbs ever cramp up really bad. I swear 2 minutes into the massage and I’m looking for the vagina then she bitches about that but I’m not exaggerating when I say my fucking hands (especially thumbs) cramp up like you wouldn’t believe… I get carpal tunnel pain creeping up all the time. She says it’s an excuse and it is , but a valid excuse.

id have to wear my gay lifting wrist straps … lol

dude I’ve purchased her like 6 different massager things… she says nothing compares to the real thing. I get her those spa things too. She just likes to see me in pain. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to.

 

[samgraves82]

Just run a Tren cycle. You'll feel better and completely forget whatever it was she was griping about. Worked for me and My ex.

 

[heckler7]

if it helps I remembered our anniversary and your wife wasnt that mad, she said if you book her a spa day and a limo to pick her up and me you after at a nice restaurant for a diner she would forgive you

 

[Milford King]

if it helps I remembered our anniversary and your wife wasnt that mad, she said if you book her a spa day and a limo to pick her up and me you after at a nice restaurant for a diner she would forgive you

Maybe Deal.


are we trading wives for a night or are you just fucking n running? Cuz I gotta thing for Hispanic chics. I mean. My wife ain’t ugly. She’s got a Latina body. Just Irish in the face n hair. Lol

great ass tho.

No bush. She shaves. Sometimes she lets it get spikey.

have you any of you guys ever let your bush grow out? I did. Made me pecker look super tiny…. Speaking of that …


so…

the old adage goes…. “Take a blade to your ballsac in the morning before you shit because that’s when your sac is hard and shriveled up close to your schlong “

Whose got hairy nuts and how to you mow the lawn without any potential hazards?

 

[zwhit]

My wife forgot our anniversary twice. I put those two get it off jail free cards in my back pocket for the future. She can't say shit to me.

 

[Multislacking]

Maybe Deal.


are we trading wives for a night or are you just fucking n running? Cuz I gotta thing for Hispanic chics. I mean. My wife ain’t ugly. She’s got a Latina body. Just Irish in the face n hair. Lol

great ass tho.

No bush. She shaves. Sometimes she lets it get spikey.

have you any of you guys ever let your bush grow out? I did. Made me pecker look super tiny…. Speaking of that …


so…

the old adage goes…. “Take a blade to your ballsac in the morning before you shit because that’s when your sac is hard and shriveled up close to your schlong “

Whose got hairy nuts and how to you mow the lawn without any potential hazards?

Shaving two raisins doesn't take too much effort.

 

[Glycomann]

Mine talks about her work, which is mostly about women not acting like other women would expect them to act in their little bubble heads. But they are soft, multiorgasmic, have tits, change diapers and make sandwiches and sometimes lasagna.

 

[AMA Rides]

the cool thing is she wasn’t giving me the silent treatment when I got home from work tonight. So….. if my dog wasn’t such a cockblocker I’d take your advice. The back/foot rub thing is right up her alley tho.

does your thumbs ever cramp up really bad. I swear 2 minutes into the massage and I’m looking for the vagina then she bitches about that but I’m not exaggerating when I say my fucking hands (especially thumbs) cramp up like you wouldn’t believe… I get carpal tunnel pain creeping up all the time. She says it’s an excuse and it is , but a valid excuse.

id have to wear my gay lifting wrist straps … lol

dude I’ve purchased her like 6 different massager things… she says nothing compares to the real thing. I get her those spa things too. She just likes to see me in pain. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to.

I feel ya MK. Takes 25 MG of ephedrine to do it right !

 

[heavyiron]

Mine talks about her work, which is mostly about women not acting like other women would expect them to act in their little bubble heads. But they are soft, multiorgasmic, have tits, change diapers and make sandwiches and sometimes lasagna.

You had me at multiorgasmic...

 

[Koolio]

Rant;

why is every little event considered an anniversary and when I forget (which I do, every year) it’s like I murdered a puppy in her eyes? It’s not even our wedding anniversary it’s just the day we started dating literally 20 years ago. And why does it even bother me that she gets pissy because I forgot about it?


and also who thought it was ever a good idea to put women in position of authority and power in the workplace? Now hear me out. I’m not trying to sound sexist here but…. Out of all the bosses I’ve ever had the worst of them have been women. None of my male bosses have ever gone on an ego stroking power trip like these femme fatales Ive worked for recently. And you should see how they behave around those other females they don’t like. Cringey.

ok…

so when you forget about some insignificant day with world ending importance in her confusing mind…. What’s your go to in order to get her to be normal again?

An old man once told me that when getting married the woman thinks she can change her man but can't...men think that their wife will stay the same but they don't...

 

[Augustine5I]

An old man once told me that when getting married the woman thinks she can change her man but can't...men think that their wife will stay the same but they don't...

Both her true.

I suppose don’t expect to have either.

A man shouldn’t expect his wife to stay the same. We all change. Get older. Mentally we grow. Hopefully the couple grows together.

A woman marries a guy hopefully for who he is and not what she wants him to be… my first wife was a bit like this. Wanted me to dress different. Work more. Whatever.

It didn’t work.

 

[Milford King]

Mine talks about her work, which is mostly about women not acting like other women would expect them to act in their little bubble heads. But they are soft, multiorgasmic, have tits, change diapers and make sandwiches and sometimes lasagna.

you had me at lasagna.

my mother in laws Christmas lasagna is exceptional.

 

[Glycomann]

Some funny and interesting comments in this thread. I'd vote it in the top ten this year so far. Women are what God made them. Mine has to rearrange the cupboards and the furniture 3-4 times a year. Then she acts indignant when I can't find something. If I say this living room is not fenshway. It's dysfunctional.. well I'm maybe not getting much for the rest of the year. But I'll tell you, she makes an awesome chicken parm and lasagna. She gives a good backrub too and I reciprocate with her foot rub. We've been doing that ritual for 40 years. hint.. Sometimes all it takes to make a woman happy these days is to randomly text her some hearts and flowers a few times a week. They want to feel appreciated and that you are thinking of them. So just do it even if 80% of the stuff they do seems completely insane.

 

[Multislacking]

An old man once told me that when getting married the woman thinks she can change her man but can't...men think that their wife will stay the same but they don't...

The most accurate thing you'll ever read about relationships.

 

[GJ503]

the cool thing is she wasnÂ’t giving me the silent treatment when I got home from work tonight. SoÂ….. if my dog wasnÂ’t such a cockblocker IÂ’d take your advice. The back/foot rub thing is right up her alley tho.

does your thumbs ever cramp up really bad. I swear 2 minutes into the massage and IÂ’m looking for the vagina then she bitches about that but IÂ’m not exaggerating when I say my fucking hands (especially thumbs) cramp up like you wouldnÂ’t believeÂ… I get carpal tunnel pain creeping up all the time. She says itÂ’s an excuse and it is , but a valid excuse.

id have to wear my gay lifting wrist straps Â… lol

dude IÂ’ve purchased her like 6 different massager thingsÂ… she says nothing compares to the real thing. I get her those spa things too. She just likes to see me in pain. ThatÂ’s the conclusion IÂ’ve come to.

Switch up and use pressure from the palm of your hands and knuckles. My wife gets bad cramps in her thumbs and uses her elbows and fists to work out the knots in my back. I also got a massage gun from Amazon and the fucking thing is magic.

 

[Bft84]

It’s the expectations that the individual sets.
It’s okay to tell them to shut the fuck up and leave you alone. I can’t stand and don’t deal with bitching and complaining and don’t do things simply because of age old tradition.
My wife and I get things we want through out the year when we want it. On our anniversary and vday ive always gotten her orchids and a card.
It’s our own tradition. We celebrate Christmas on Halloween because she’s a bad ass weirdo and we do what we want.

 

[Multislacking]

We celebrate Christmas on Halloween because she’s a bad ass weirdo and we do what we want.

oh really? I have to say...my curiosity is piqued. Do tell.

 

[Bft84]

oh really? I have to say...my curiosity is piqued. Do tell.

Well we both love Halloween and the nightmare before Christmas. We want our own traditions and everyone showers my daughter with gifts on Christmas anyway so we figured it would be our little thing.
We literally call it the nightmare before Christmas. We have a black Christmas tree and basically do a gothic style Christmas instead of Santa and Jesus. We just tell my daughter that we’re getting her presents because we love her. It also helps teach her that she doesn’t have to do things just because everyone else does.