- Joined
- Dec 29, 2013
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I need to apologize about some of my comments on several threads..
Judy was my only care giver..
She's been with me for almost 17 yrs..
We had the usual problems people have in relationships..
THEN...came C...
That came from nowhere..turned our lives upside down...in like in 15 seconds..
No body to talk to that I knew had C..or family or friends..
So..We navigated it blind..had to learn about everything..WBC...RBC..A1C..ect...
Tuff yrs..Without any improvement..
Now...7 yrs fighting MCL and now CLL added to the growing list of crap wrong or breaking down..
Neck nerve damage..wanted me in a Halo..fuck that..!!
So..epidurals,PT,traction, meds and 20 ice packs..later...around 65-70% better..
Then the head injuries, from passing out..
And,the digestive problems, they can't figure out..which BTW...
I have nearly died 3 times in two yrs, from internal bleeding..
Throw in... me constantly weak and unstable..
Recent head injuries that have stimulated PTSD (from childhood trauma)..and diarrhea 28 days a month..
That's a Shit Sub...not a sandwich..!!
So..there's the meat and potatoes..
A good overview of what life is like when you choose to Fight...
The Twist...
I'm not a Bible thumper...or really even talk Religion..I have my beliefs and do my best to respect others and what they choose to believe in..
Took 1000 days to touch grass, when we got the Diag..Bed to couch..Bed, couch..bed..
Seriously a thousand...
Once, better I was furious, pissed and in rage..
Why Me..??
What did I do..so wrong to be punished..??
Then the "turn "....
From Angry to Calm...
Cursed to Blessed...
A turn of ideas and personal perspective..
A turn to a different Me..
Such a Turn...it could not be Me..
I was choose to carry this illness as far as One can possibly go..!!
He gave me this purpose, handicapped Blessing to only do One Thing...
Stand...against C...against crappy Dr.s....against the Broken system...against the Grain, plowing a different Trek..
Against almost everything..
But
This time..Not Against God..!!
Z...
Judy was my only care giver..
She's been with me for almost 17 yrs..
We had the usual problems people have in relationships..
THEN...came C...
That came from nowhere..turned our lives upside down...in like in 15 seconds..
No body to talk to that I knew had C..or family or friends..
So..We navigated it blind..had to learn about everything..WBC...RBC..A1C..ect...
Tuff yrs..Without any improvement..
Now...7 yrs fighting MCL and now CLL added to the growing list of crap wrong or breaking down..
Neck nerve damage..wanted me in a Halo..fuck that..!!
So..epidurals,PT,traction, meds and 20 ice packs..later...around 65-70% better..
Then the head injuries, from passing out..
And,the digestive problems, they can't figure out..which BTW...
I have nearly died 3 times in two yrs, from internal bleeding..
Throw in... me constantly weak and unstable..
Recent head injuries that have stimulated PTSD (from childhood trauma)..and diarrhea 28 days a month..
That's a Shit Sub...not a sandwich..!!
So..there's the meat and potatoes..
A good overview of what life is like when you choose to Fight...
The Twist...
I'm not a Bible thumper...or really even talk Religion..I have my beliefs and do my best to respect others and what they choose to believe in..
Took 1000 days to touch grass, when we got the Diag..Bed to couch..Bed, couch..bed..
Seriously a thousand...
Once, better I was furious, pissed and in rage..
Why Me..??
What did I do..so wrong to be punished..??
Then the "turn "....
From Angry to Calm...
Cursed to Blessed...
A turn of ideas and personal perspective..
A turn to a different Me..
Such a Turn...it could not be Me..
I was choose to carry this illness as far as One can possibly go..!!
He gave me this purpose, handicapped Blessing to only do One Thing...
Stand...against C...against crappy Dr.s....against the Broken system...against the Grain, plowing a different Trek..
Against almost everything..
But
This time..Not Against God..!!
Z...