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"I H8 Me thread"

GYMnTONIC

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Get Shredded!
I deal w alot of clients/patients, mostly men

We are all dealing w trauma and issues.

The best of us.

I was a counselor for a decade and men. We get no love.
We are expected to be strong. We are expected to tolerate anything.

But we all have breaking points.

As a Mod but mostly as a man I want to ask my family here: what issues are you dealing with?

Can we help?

I wanna make a thread where we help each other

Men get no love.

But truly men, we do love each other. We have our backs. No embrassment.. say whats on your mind.
 

Montego

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I deal w alot of clients/patients, mostly men

We are all dealing w trauma and issues.

The best of us.

I was a counselor for a decade and men. We get no love.
We are expected to be strong. We are expected to tolerate anything.

But we all have breaking points.

As a Mod but mostly as a man I want to ask my family here: what issues are you dealing with?

Can we help?

I wanna make a thread where we help each other

Men get no love.

But truly men, we do love each other. We have our backs. No embrassment.. say whats on your mind.
Good thread.

You'd be surprised how many times I've played counselor as a prep coach. I actually state that I'm here for that reason too when guys sign up because, with just about every client I've had, I've tried to help them through some type of issue, typically marriage advice and substance abuse.

I'm also 9 years sober, went to hundreds of AA meetings, worked the steps, sponsored guys, the whole nine yards.

I'm here to help to.
 

Multislacking

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Ugh...I was telling the wife an hour ago that I'd like to go one week without a kick in the nuts. My biggest pet peeve? I'm the asshole that is evidently responsible for fixing everything. EV-ER-Y-THING. And I'm not just talking about physical things...but the emotional, financial, life shit.

Other than that...I try not to complain and keep things in perspective. It *can always* be worse.
 

CoachCabo

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Good thread.

You'd be surprised how many times I've played counselor as a prep coach. I actually state that I'm here for that reason too when guys sign up because, with just about every client I've had, I've tried to help them through some type of issue, typically marriage advice and substance abuse.

I'm also 9 years sober, went to hundreds of AA meetings, worked the steps, sponsored guys, the whole nine yards.

I'm here to help to.
Oh, if you can’t be a life problems couselor, you probably shouldn’t be a coach. I don’t mind listening and helping people but there are times I want to say “Uh, I’m here for diet advice. Let’s keep in the lane and on topic.” but I don’t. I was amazed how much behavioral and environmental “coaching” you have to do as a diet/training coach.
 
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Bdawg

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This is a great heartfelt post… and on point

Me… I often feel a shit ton of pressure, where I want to just stay in bed and sleep, but I never do. I have a large family, make the only income, and handle a majority of responsibility. I’m an exec at work and everyone relies on me. It’s overwhelming sometimes. I can’t be sick, I can’t be tired, I can’t have a down day.

Working out and gear saves me. I feel great and work the stress off. Every day I come out of the gym a refreshed man.

I know some people have much worse situations, but this is my issue.
 

Milford King

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The anti patriarch society we live in does no one any favors.

stay alpha my friends. And remember if duct tape and beer can’t fix it, you don’t need it.

kidding… it’s refreshing to see that my anxiety isn’t just mine. I pace around the house aimlessly some days just thinking about all the things I have to be on top of to keep my family on the up and up. It’s stressful, but I wouldn’t trade it for a thing.

I think alot of the problems we face as men is the difficult process of taking the ‘L’. We can change the things we can change but it’s really difficult to swallow our pride and let go of the things we cannot change.

union might be going on strike and I’m sweating like a whore in church trying to figure out my next move. Sucks. I’ll have to start going to AA if I get that much time on my hands.
 

Multislacking

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OK....here is my CURRENT problem. Mom has dementia and lives in a nursing home. She calls and leaves a message yesterday that she should have a "permanent credit card" coming, but she doesn't know where they are sending it. The nursing home or my house. She is saying "permanent" because she got a $25 visa gift card a couple weeks back. So I don't know how she managed that one...yet. But now I have to worry about her getting one and buying a ton of shit, someone at nursing home grabbing it (resident or staff), etc, etc. She could also be completely full of shit. You just never know. Of course, we already went though all this when she moved in and explained how she shouldn't have anything like that in nursing home, etc...but explaining stuff to her means almost nothing.
 

MonsterMaker

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Ya man over the last 4 years since I’ve been sober life’s been both a lot easier and at the same time
A lot harder. I don’t know how to say it really. Im much more put together got my shit together, bills are paid on time, steadily employed etc BUT inside my head I’m much more stressed out because I’m actually feeling all this shit that I used to intentionally numb out day in and day out. I guess I’ve got some arrested development from being a drug crazed psycho from 17-30, and now I’m dealing with reality for the first time…. Those feels can be a mother fucker especially the anger and jealousy
 

tcinbc66

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The last 6 years describes this statement very well for me. Use to be a successful salesman with a wife and 4 great kids. Marriage wasn’t perfect but we made it work and raised 4 independent strong girls. Well my now ex was made aware of my porn time and things started to unravel. She felt the kids who were late teens to 20s were traumatized by this and my parenting so she decided to leave. Divorce final and then the girls decide they need to distance themselves after Dad meets someone new. Try to stay in touch and they want no part of it. Establish a new life and can’t find a good career, have had more jobs in 2 years than the previous 20. Mom passes recently and girls still won’t budge, now my siblings are taking efforts to drag out the final wishes of my mother because they can’t face their grief because seeing a coffee pot or mug will make them emotional. My new wife decides to stir the pot when I did reach out to my ex to try and arrange to get some photos of the kids and imply that I am sneaking around speaking to her. Every woman in my life shits on me and when I put my foot down it’s met with emotional garbage. Really ready to just pack up my car drive to one of the kids place and have em find me one last time!! They used the excuse at the funeral that they didn’t see me or recognize me until it was all over. Maybe my dead body will be a lasting visual!!

Somedays that option is front on the table and just walking away from it all and leaving this life behind!

Sorry for the dump but this post spoke to me!
 

Milford King

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The last 6 years describes this statement very well for me. Use to be a successful salesman with a wife and 4 great kids. Marriage wasn’t perfect but we made it work and raised 4 independent strong girls. Well my now ex was made aware of my porn time and things started to unravel. She felt the kids who were late teens to 20s were traumatized by this and my parenting so she decided to leave. Divorce final and then the girls decide they need to distance themselves after Dad meets someone new. Try to stay in touch and they want no part of it. Establish a new life and can’t find a good career, have had more jobs in 2 years than the previous 20. Mom passes recently and girls still won’t budge, now my siblings are taking efforts to drag out the final wishes of my mother because they can’t face their grief because seeing a coffee pot or mug will make them emotional. My new wife decides to stir the pot when I did reach out to my ex to try and arrange to get some photos of the kids and imply that I am sneaking around speaking to her. Every woman in my life shits on me and when I put my foot down it’s met with emotional garbage. Really ready to just pack up my car drive to one of the kids place and have em find me one last time!! They used the excuse at the funeral that they didn’t see me or recognize me until it was all over. Maybe my dead body will be a lasting visual!!

Somedays that option is front on the table and just walking away from it all and leaving this life behind!

Sorry for the dump but this post spoke to me!

you were a porn actor? Or you just watch too much porn?
 

Milford King

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Hey man. Never stop fighting for your kids. That means the ‘end it all’ garbage is completely off the table. Perseverance brother. Women come and go but blood is blood man.

stay strong
 

tcinbc66

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Hey man. Never stop fighting for your kids. That means the ‘end it all’ garbage is completely off the table. Perseverance brother. Women come and go but blood is blood man.

stay strong

Thanks man. I won’t quit but it’s been rough. If I was a porn actor I wouldn’t of left it!!
 

Bdawg

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The last 6 years describes this statement very well for me. Use to be a successful salesman with a wife and 4 great kids. Marriage wasn’t perfect but we made it work and raised 4 independent strong girls. Well my now ex was made aware of my porn time and things started to unravel. She felt the kids who were late teens to 20s were traumatized by this and my parenting so she decided to leave. Divorce final and then the girls decide they need to distance themselves after Dad meets someone new. Try to stay in touch and they want no part of it. Establish a new life and can’t find a good career, have had more jobs in 2 years than the previous 20. Mom passes recently and girls still won’t budge, now my siblings are taking efforts to drag out the final wishes of my mother because they can’t face their grief because seeing a coffee pot or mug will make them emotional. My new wife decides to stir the pot when I did reach out to my ex to try and arrange to get some photos of the kids and imply that I am sneaking around speaking to her. Every woman in my life shits on me and when I put my foot down it’s met with emotional garbage. Really ready to just pack up my car drive to one of the kids place and have em find me one last time!! They used the excuse at the funeral that they didn’t see me or recognize me until it was all over. Maybe my dead body will be a lasting visual!!

Somedays that option is front on the table and just walking away from it all and leaving this life behind!

Sorry for the dump but this post spoke to me!

Wow man… sorry to hear the rift with your kids. I have four kids with multiple mothers and I constantly battle similar issues. All I can say per my experience is don’t give up on the kids. Keep after them. They will eventually see you care and they need you in their lives.

Your ex left you for watching porn? I too thought you meant you participated… that is brutal.
 

Multislacking

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Your ex left you for watching porn?

I feel like there is more to this story. Like they walked in and caught him or something. I could be waaay off base though.

But if that was the reason given, it was just an excuse for whatever the real reason was.
 

IronRage

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The last 6 years describes this statement very well for me. Use to be a successful salesman with a wife and 4 great kids. Marriage wasn’t perfect but we made it work and raised 4 independent strong girls. Well my now ex was made aware of my porn time and things started to unravel. She felt the kids who were late teens to 20s were traumatized by this and my parenting so she decided to leave. Divorce final and then the girls decide they need to distance themselves after Dad meets someone new. Try to stay in touch and they want no part of it. Establish a new life and can’t find a good career, have had more jobs in 2 years than the previous 20. Mom passes recently and girls still won’t budge, now my siblings are taking efforts to drag out the final wishes of my mother because they can’t face their grief because seeing a coffee pot or mug will make them emotional. My new wife decides to stir the pot when I did reach out to my ex to try and arrange to get some photos of the kids and imply that I am sneaking around speaking to her. Every woman in my life shits on me and when I put my foot down it’s met with emotional garbage. Really ready to just pack up my car drive to one of the kids place and have em find me one last time!! They used the excuse at the funeral that they didn’t see me or recognize me until it was all over. Maybe my dead body will be a lasting visual!!

Somedays that option is front on the table and just walking away from it all and leaving this life behind!

Sorry for the dump but this post spoke to me!

That’s the only thing women are good at, they will use any excuse, no matter how lame, to justify how horribly they treat a guy. Like Milford said, women come and go, that is the only consistency you will ever get from them. I’ve seen women throw away years of family/marriage at the drop of a hat, they don’t care. You gotta focus on yourself and do what makes you happy. Being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world, it’s actually quite peaceful but most people can’t do it. There’s too much to enjoy in this life to let some worthless women bring you down like that.
 

Multislacking

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So this isn't a complete female bashing thread, there's an equal share of worthless guys out there. I'm living that reality daily. Dealing with some other guy's worthlessness, that is. But that goes back to my first post of me being the "fixer" for everyone else's problems.
 

MonsterMaker

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The last 6 years describes this statement very well for me. Use to be a successful salesman with a wife and 4 great kids. Marriage wasn’t perfect but we made it work and raised 4 independent strong girls. Well my now ex was made aware of my porn time and things started to unravel. She felt the kids who were late teens to 20s were traumatized by this and my parenting so she decided to leave. Divorce final and then the girls decide they need to distance themselves after Dad meets someone new. Try to stay in touch and they want no part of it. Establish a new life and can’t find a good career, have had more jobs in 2 years than the previous 20. Mom passes recently and girls still won’t budge, now my siblings are taking efforts to drag out the final wishes of my mother because they can’t face their grief because seeing a coffee pot or mug will make them emotional. My new wife decides to stir the pot when I did reach out to my ex to try and arrange to get some photos of the kids and imply that I am sneaking around speaking to her. Every woman in my life shits on me and when I put my foot down it’s met with emotional garbage. Really ready to just pack up my car drive to one of the kids place and have em find me one last time!! They used the excuse at the funeral that they didn’t see me or recognize me until it was all over. Maybe my dead body will be a lasting visual!!

Somedays that option is front on the table and just walking away from it all and leaving this life behind!

Sorry for the dump but this post spoke to me!

Fuck man that’s brutal… not to be a dick but you really think that’s fair to your kids? To fuck them up for life with something like that?

Not trying to sound unsupportive man it sounds like you’re going through a lot but I don’t think your kids deserve that….
 

MonsterMaker

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That’s the only thing women are good at, they will use any excuse, no matter how lame, to justify how horribly they treat a guy. Like Milford said, women come and go, that is the only consistency you will ever get from them. I’ve seen women throw away years of family/marriage at the drop of a hat, they don’t care. You gotta focus on yourself and do what makes you happy. Being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world, it’s actually quite peaceful but most people can’t do it. There’s too much to enjoy in this life to let some worthless women bring you down like that.

Human condition to want to have a profound desire share this life with someone. I literally almost died for it… love is is one fucked up drug
 

tcinbc66

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I feel like there is more to this story. Like they walked in and caught him or something. I could be waaay off base though.

But if that was the reason given, it was just an excuse for whatever the real reason was.

Sorry to bust the bubble. But the kid had got my tablet and she saw photos on it and websites. Ran to mom and figured well no sense trying to sidestep that. As stated she equates this to cheating as it led to her thinking I was “with” these women
 

tcinbc66

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Get Shredded!
That’s the only thing women are good at, they will use any excuse, no matter how lame, to justify how horribly they treat a guy. Like Milford said, women come and go, that is the only consistency you will ever get from them. I’ve seen women throw away years of family/marriage at the drop of a hat, they don’t care. You gotta focus on yourself and do what makes you happy. Being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world, it’s actually quite peaceful but most people can’t do it. There’s too much to enjoy in this life to let some worthless women bring you down like that.

Thanks for that! I do like my alone time. And want nothing but a great marriage to my now wife, but I am not going down the same road twice!! Even though it now appears there are some strong similarities with the issues I’ve already experienced. Life is too short to repeat mistakes!
 

Multislacking

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Sorry to bust the bubble. But the kid had got my tablet and she saw photos on it and websites. Ran to mom and figured well no sense trying to sidestep that. As stated she equates this to cheating as it led to her thinking I was “with” these women

Yeah, that falls under 'got caught'. I didn't mean whacking it, but that would have been super bad obviously. Sorry, man. I hate to say it, but this is pretty "normal". When we were kids, we were snagging our dad's playboys and penthouses and such. Hell, I can remember going to the barber as a kid and all those mags were seriously on the tables by the chairs. There were pinup calendars on the walls. I started kindergarten with a pretty good knowledge of female anatomy. Not saying that was ideal, but I feel like I turned out alright.
 

Bdawg

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Sorry to bust the bubble. But the kid had got my tablet and she saw photos on it and websites. Ran to mom and figured well no sense trying to sidestep that. As stated she equates this to cheating as it led to her thinking I was “with” these women

Damn… I can understand a scolding but divorce? Is what it is. I believe your kids will come around at some point. You didn’t do anything life changing IMO.
 

heckler7

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kids do something like scratch your wifes car, wifes reaction its ok it happens
dog eats wifes shoes, its ok the dogs my baby
you do something and forget about it, men get no love
 

Multislacking

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kids do something like scratch your wifes car, wifes reaction its ok it happens
dog eats wifes shoes, its ok the dogs my baby
you do something and forget about it, men get no love

lmao...that one hit home. I literally told the wife last night that the dog got more love than I did.
 

tcinbc66

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kids do something like scratch your wifes car, wifes reaction its ok it happens
dog eats wifes shoes, its ok the dogs my baby
you do something and forget about it, men get no love

That’s what it’s all about. You get no love!! And damn you to hell when you find it elsewhere! Even after the divorce!!
 

Bdawg

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The judge ex-wife sentenced you to eternal unhappiness and you are not allowed future benefits like new love, relations with your kids, a good job. Didn’t you know that?
 

zwhit

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I'm too blessed to complain.

I wrote out some reasons why I'm blessed but deleted them since some of us are going through tougher times. But it was good to see them in writing and it seems common in my reading about mental health or depression. Hope you guys that have it the toughest can find some things to be thankful for rather than only focusing on the bad and it helps you on your way. 🙏

Feels kind of funny not being an asshole though
 

zionoir626

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Hell...
Life is Good..
But sometimes...just sometimes...

You have to fight for what you want...
And
You better Damn well know what that is...
Before that Day Comes...
Z...
 

AR-15

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Bro I feel bad about the shit your going through. With that said you definitely don’t want to let your kids see you dead. Have you ever seen a dead body? That shit can fuck you up for life let alone seeing your Dad with his brains all over the windshield or his eyes bulging out of his head covered in throw up from an OD. I’ve tried suicide three times and failed every time because I wanted to make sure none of my family members found me dead or had to clean up my brains from the walls and ceiling. Trust me when I tell you suicide is fucking stupid but if that’s what your set on doing try and realize your fucking up every person you love for the rest of their life. Pretty fucking selfish. Since purposely driving into a telephone poll at 90mph and surviving I have since learned how precious life is and how important the good people in my life are. Nothing is that bad for you to take your life and leave your loved ones with all that baggage. Your baggage. Good luck bro. If you ever need to chat feel free to pm me anytime.



The last 6 years describes this statement very well for me. Use to be a successful salesman with a wife and 4 great kids. Marriage wasn’t perfect but we made it work and raised 4 independent strong girls. Well my now ex was made aware of my porn time and things started to unravel. She felt the kids who were late teens to 20s were traumatized by this and my parenting so she decided to leave. Divorce final and then the girls decide they need to distance themselves after Dad meets someone new. Try to stay in touch and they want no part of it. Establish a new life and can’t find a good career, have had more jobs in 2 years than the previous 20. Mom passes recently and girls still won’t budge, now my siblings are taking efforts to drag out the final wishes of my mother because they can’t face their grief because seeing a coffee pot or mug will make them emotional. My new wife decides to stir the pot when I did reach out to my ex to try and arrange to get some photos of the kids and imply that I am sneaking around speaking to her. Every woman in my life shits on me and when I put my foot down it’s met with emotional garbage. Really ready to just pack up my car drive to one of the kids place and have em find me one last time!! They used the excuse at the funeral that they didn’t see me or recognize me until it was all over. Maybe my dead body will be a lasting visual!!

Somedays that option is front on the table and just walking away from it all and leaving this life behind!

Sorry for the dump but this post spoke to me!
 
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