- Joined
- Dec 29, 2013
- Messages
- 11,766
- Reaction score
- 12,610
Please allow me to expand...
These last few months have been most difficult..
Between firing my C Dr...constant testing..CT scans..MRI's..bloodwork (fasting)..X-rays..and another close pass with Death..
Not to mention...
Coming off alcohol and gummies, that was my go to to control pain and anxiety...and pain pills that wouldn't fix a headache..
I'm Off my Game..
Then add...
Dr.s lying to my face,constant trouble with my service dog...and him getting too old to do his job..Inwhich I have no replacement..and dealing with uprising complications from head injuries...20+ falls in 2 yrs..cracks in my skull ..
And that's maybe halfway through my daily struggle..
And if things don't turn around..likely to loose the ability to speak..
And let me add...
If anyone gives me pity..I'll kick your Ass...
But...
Am I laying down...???
The Opposite actually..back two weeks in the Gym..after the first 15 days of November in bed..
At some point...you have to say..Fuck It..!!
And decide too quit or Continue..
Doubt will kill you quicker than driving Paul Walker's 918...lol
I'm no Jan Michael Vincent...most won't get that..lol
So...I'm a big man..E.J.D. ..I over reacted and for that sir...I'm truly Sorry..
I wish many times in life...I could go back and erase wrong doings..
But ...we can't..
But I can learn from this..and be a better person..
I have been troubled lately with everything going on..
I haven't delt with my sisters passing Yet..
That's going to hurt whenever it comes..
My youngest memory of her was terrifying..
My drunk father broke her nose with a shotgun butt..blood was everywhere and I remember my hands covered in her blood..
I couldn't protect her then, just as I wasn't when she was dying from cancer...
I hope this explains why..??
Not that it's an excuse, but rather an insight on what's going on in Z's life..
No one wants this shit..Not even Me....
Again I'm sad to have lashed out..
I don't want to be that type of person..
Much Respect to you..
Z...
These last few months have been most difficult..
Between firing my C Dr...constant testing..CT scans..MRI's..bloodwork (fasting)..X-rays..and another close pass with Death..
Not to mention...
Coming off alcohol and gummies, that was my go to to control pain and anxiety...and pain pills that wouldn't fix a headache..
I'm Off my Game..
Then add...
Dr.s lying to my face,constant trouble with my service dog...and him getting too old to do his job..Inwhich I have no replacement..and dealing with uprising complications from head injuries...20+ falls in 2 yrs..cracks in my skull ..
And that's maybe halfway through my daily struggle..
And if things don't turn around..likely to loose the ability to speak..
And let me add...
If anyone gives me pity..I'll kick your Ass...
But...
Am I laying down...???
The Opposite actually..back two weeks in the Gym..after the first 15 days of November in bed..
At some point...you have to say..Fuck It..!!
And decide too quit or Continue..
Doubt will kill you quicker than driving Paul Walker's 918...lol
I'm no Jan Michael Vincent...most won't get that..lol
So...I'm a big man..E.J.D. ..I over reacted and for that sir...I'm truly Sorry..
I wish many times in life...I could go back and erase wrong doings..
But ...we can't..
But I can learn from this..and be a better person..
I have been troubled lately with everything going on..
I haven't delt with my sisters passing Yet..
That's going to hurt whenever it comes..
My youngest memory of her was terrifying..
My drunk father broke her nose with a shotgun butt..blood was everywhere and I remember my hands covered in her blood..
I couldn't protect her then, just as I wasn't when she was dying from cancer...
I hope this explains why..??
Not that it's an excuse, but rather an insight on what's going on in Z's life..
No one wants this shit..Not even Me....
Again I'm sad to have lashed out..
I don't want to be that type of person..
Much Respect to you..
Z...
