So for anyone who was curious in this thread, here is the update:
i have a grade 3 vericolce on the left and a grade 2 on the right. I'm having surgery to repair those tomorrow morning. (Grade 3 is the worst, grade 1 is the least severe. My surgeon has done 600 and he said mine is top 10 most severe he has seen. My LH , FSH , test, Estro, and thyroid are all in the "normal" range
the good news: fixing the vericocles has the possibility of increasing sperm motality and forward progression by 80%.
It can increase testosterone production by 100 points
The co-pay for the surgery is $5
the bad news: my total sperm count is 100,000. That's very very low and totally sucks balls for the chance of conception
I'm having fucking surgery in my fucking ball sack!
No heavy lifting for 4 weeks
the strange news: my prolactin is LOW, which he has never seen and is unsure if LOW prolactin would hurt fertility, it's usually the opposite. So, I'm seeing an endo about that.
the forecast: hopefully the vericocele fixes the motility issue and increase test which can't hurt. Will have to wait 4 months for another semen analysis to see if the count improves. If not, he may treat with clomid , hcg, or hmg.
the bottom line: I'm fucking depressed. Why can't I just normally knock my wife up? Feeling super low. About to hit the gym for the final time before surgery ... Hopefully I don't loose too much muscle and gain too much bf during the recovery.
the chances if natural conception are all up in the air... Just so many question marks.
Who knows if I'll ever cycle again, which of course I want to, and who knows if I'll be able to have a family... I can't wrap my mind around a sperm donor , and IVF is just so damn expensive . I am in a very strange cross road in my life