Dealing With Lost One's...

[zionoir626]

Well it's been rather difficult lately...I've lost some close one's and it's very hard to navigate without them around..
I lost Ariel...a while back..a suicide..
Then recently..Dale.c..
And yesterday...my sister passed..recently diagnosed with C..stage 4 kidney..complications after a bio..internal bleeding and died from heart attack..

It hasn't sunk in yet...don't want to believe it..Exactly, how hard does this life have too Be..??
We were supposed to spend sometime together but due to our health issues, we had to cancel many times..
Also,a close friend's mother is failing and isn't expecting to pull thru.
Fuel....is what this Is...
And Fuel is what I'll make it...

Been here before with my parents death's so close..Not good times, but I won't return down that downward spiral into depression and rage..
No...No I will not Break...
I will overcome this boat load of emotion and stay focused..and not cope negatively, not even Once..

I am devastating...
Am shocked..and stricken with sadness..
But, C feeds on our fears, weaknesses and Hate...and I ain't feeding that Bastard..
Z...

 

[zionoir626]

To add...
One of our greatest friends mom is fighting to stay alive..A sweet woman..
Just seems everywhere I turn...
A part of Life...I truly despise..
Z...

 

[CoachCabo]

To be honest with you, I mourn the deaths of my dogs over the last two years more than any person I have lost. The loss of family and friends increases as I get older and it hurts. But I think about my dogs multiple times every day and it brings me to tears sometimes, their not being at our feet.

My close shipmate who died of covid just a few months after visiting him last year probably struck me the hardest in a while as far as people go.

 

[Bolan]

Losing my Daughter to a fucked up healthcare system really hit hard man.... She was my Fitness instructor at my gym... Broke her wrist teaching a class. I drove her to the hospital, she had no cold, no flu and was perfectly healthy. They said she needed surgery to fix the fractured wrist and would be keeping her overnight before the Ortho doc could see her in the AM and that they would keep her pain levels with "small amounts" of morphine. So I leave since it was almost 10pm and would be back early in the AM to see the doc w/ her.
Well, both my Ex wife and myself get a call @ 3am the next morning saying to come to the hospital, mny daughter was having a difficult time breathing and her o2 saturation was in the 60's.....She passed before I or my Ex got there. They called it COVID related.....Bullshit, they wouldnt even let us see the body or even get an autopsy done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lawyers involved
1 Passed child.
Theres only 1 way I keep on keeping on is thing of all the fun times, the positive times... On my mind at all times.
Those memories keep me going. Its hard staying positive.... but how can you "drive forward" if your looking in your rear view mirror all the time. Remember the good times man.
Sorry for your losses Z. I feel ya pain man.
Stay afloat, keep treading water.

Respect!
B.

 

[Augustine5I]

Losing my Daughter to a fucked up healthcare system really hit hard man.... She was my Fitness instructor at my gym... Broke her wrist teaching a class. I drove her to the hospital, she had no cold, no flu and was perfectly healthy. They said she needed surgery to fix the fractured wrist and would be keeping her overnight before the Ortho doc could see her in the AM and that they would keep her pain levels with "small amounts" of morphine. So I leave since it was almost 10pm and would be back early in the AM to see the doc w/ her.
Well, both my Ex wife and myself get a call @ 3am the next morning saying to come to the hospital, mny daughter was having a difficult time breathing and her o2 saturation was in the 60's.....She passed before I or my Ex got there. They called it COVID related.....Bullshit, they wouldnt even let us see the body or even get an autopsy done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lawyers involved
1 Passed child.
Theres only 1 way I keep on keeping on is thing of all the fun times, the positive times... On my mind at all times.
Those memories keep me going. Its hard staying positive.... but how can you "drive forward" if your looking in your rear view mirror all the time. Remember the good times man.
Sorry for your losses Z. I feel ya pain man.
Stay afloat, keep treading water.

Respect!
B.

Just wow!

I would want to burn that place to the ground.

So sorry bro.

 

[CoachCabo]

Bolan, that is just horrible. My greatest empathies to you and yours.

Losing one of my children or grandchildren is the only thing I get in my mind and can’t get out sometimes. It creates incredible anxiety.

 

[Augustine5I]

Bolan, that is just horrible. My greatest empathies to you and yours.

Losing one of my children or grandchildren is the only thing I get in my mind and can’t get out sometimes. It creates incredible anxiety.

Same here bro.

It’s probably the one thing that would break me.

I have one child. A 17 year old boy who just got his license.

I am already worried.

Idk if I could overcome his loss. So I pray to God to keep him safe.

 

[CoachCabo]

Right. My son is a new cop and he has seen in three months what guys don’t see in 10 years. It makes us anxious but I sit knowing he takes my lessons as gospel and it seems his department is very proffessional but not shy on the trigger. The only thing that gives me some peace.
I know my daughter texts while driving with her three kids in the car. That rachets up my anxiety though.

 

[zionoir626]

Trying to keep good memories going..
BUT
my PTSD isn't helping...
Some may know it's from childhood abuse..and there's a memory block..
I clearly see my hands covered in her blood and unable to stop the beatings..
That's fucked up..
And now I'm struggling with why...yet again..
Some scars never heal..and there are thousands like that, of which I'm not sure ever really want to know..
Some of the hardest times a human...
Loosing loved ones...
Z...

 

[Rot-Iron66]

Both of my daughters got the clot-shots early on, before all of the horrors came out about "SADS" and "Myocarditis" and the like, and it worries me.
I've lost 5 friends "Suddenly and unexpectedly" so far to this bullshit, and it sickens me.
Especially since I know ZERO people who have died from COVID, and that includes our global company (my job) of 100K people.
Biggest medical scam in history, and the wokesters who still support are braindead.

Sorry for your losses guys (in this thread) horrific stuff...

 

[Bullseye Forever]

Well it's been rather difficult lately...I've lost some close one's and it's very hard to navigate without them around..
I lost Ariel...a while back..a suicide..
Then recently..Dale.c..
And yesterday...my sister passed..recently diagnosed with C..stage 4 kidney..complications after a bio..internal bleeding and died from heart attack..

It hasn't sunk in yet...don't want to believe it..Exactly, how hard does this life have too Be..??
We were supposed to spend sometime together but due to our health issues, we had to cancel many times..
Also,a close friend's mother is failing and isn't expecting to pull thru.
Fuel....is what this Is...
And Fuel is what I'll make it...

Been here before with my parents death's so close..Not good times, but I won't return down that downward spiral into depression and rage..
No...No I will not Break...
I will overcome this boat load of emotion and stay focused..and not cope negatively, not even Once..

I am devastating...
Am shocked..and stricken with sadness..
But, C feeds on our fears, weaknesses and Hate...and I ain't feeding that Bastard..
Z...

I’m so sorry man my prayers are with you so much we all love you here and are here for you ! DM me anytime


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Powerhousehb]

I have lost 2 close friends one of who was found at home by his wife watching TV dead in his chair. She said the doctors said he had a heart attack. Then there was the loss of my patents. That nearly killed me. I'm sure if I didn't get help when I did. The amount of narcotics I was taking would have given me heart attach. For me life has been challange after challange. I have suffered many issues growing up. I'm no stranger to pain or being on my knees asking God to help me.

I am very sorry for everybody's losses on this thread. I can't imagine losing a child or a gf/wife. Parents and close friends were hard enough.

 

[Bullseye Forever]

Man I lost my dad who was my best friend in February 2012 and he was only 70 he died of Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer ,he took one chemo treatment and within 2 days he’s was dead ,I’ll never take chemo


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[TopDawg]

Losing my Daughter to a fucked up healthcare system really hit hard man.... She was my Fitness instructor at my gym... Broke her wrist teaching a class. I drove her to the hospital, she had no cold, no flu and was perfectly healthy. They said she needed surgery to fix the fractured wrist and would be keeping her overnight before the Ortho doc could see her in the AM and that they would keep her pain levels with "small amounts" of morphine. So I leave since it was almost 10pm and would be back early in the AM to see the doc w/ her.
Well, both my Ex wife and myself get a call @ 3am the next morning saying to come to the hospital, mny daughter was having a difficult time breathing and her o2 saturation was in the 60's.....She passed before I or my Ex got there. They called it COVID related.....Bullshit, they wouldnt even let us see the body or even get an autopsy done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lawyers involved
1 Passed child.
Theres only 1 way I keep on keeping on is thing of all the fun times, the positive times... On my mind at all times.
Those memories keep me going. Its hard staying positive.... but how can you "drive forward" if your looking in your rear view mirror all the time. Remember the good times man.
Sorry for your losses Z. I feel ya pain man.
Stay afloat, keep treading water.

Respect!
B.

No parent should ever have to face the loss of a child. I know many do, and my heart truly breaks. My wife and I got extremely lucky this year when our youngest daughter survived a head on collision. To say I was terrified is an understatement.

 

[zionoir626]

God's intervention...
Couple of days ago I was driving, thinking of everything and pulled a stupid stunt..
Should have rolled the car..didn't even touch the other car..
Telling me again...not my Time ..
but others are dropping all over..

More to do I guess...
Z...

 

[ozraelised]

All the best to all of you. I hope you all able to keep on going. I feel for your lose.

 

[zionoir626]

Ex-father in law,yesterday...
Good friend's mother last night...
Around 4 or 5 gone recently...including my sister...
A lot to process, just numb...
Used it as fuel in the Gym..emotional pain is the Worst...but I'm not going down another dead end road like before..
Looks like foul play with my sister...total shit show..it's complicated..!!

This part of Life shakes one's beliefs, morals and values..that wanting to know WHY???
That we never get...
So...Faith...is where I find some understanding, and a smidgen of Hope..
Z...

 

[TopDawg]

Ex-father in law,yesterday...
Good friend's mother last night...
Around 4 or 5 gone recently...including my sister...
A lot to process, just numb...
Used it as fuel in the Gym..emotional pain is the Worst...but I'm not going down another dead end road like before..
Looks like foul play with my sister...total shit show..it's complicated..!!

This part of Life shakes one's beliefs, morals and values..that wanting to know WHY???
That we never get...
So...Faith...is where I find some understanding, and a smidgen of Hope..
Z...

Z, I have only been here a short time, but I have seen you endure a lot. I know it isn't easy, and I am not going to pretend I have the answers, or fully understand. The amount of pain you have endured is unimaginable to most. I can only ask that you stay strong.

If you feel the need to talk, or just get a few things off your mind, reach out to me and I will gladly listen.

 

[Multislacking]

People I know started dropping in June last year. Parents, aunts, uncles, in laws, and close CLOSE friends. I quit counting last year when it hit 10. But I know the death toll is somewhere in the mid twenties now. I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Something is happening. You only see this kind of death count in a nursing home...maybe. Losing an average of 2 people per month for over a year is NOT normal. Again, only a couple were covid related.

What I do know, is the rest of us can't lay down and give up. Make the most you can out of each and every day.

 

[zionoir626]

Z, I have only been here a short time, but I have seen you endure a lot. I know it isn't easy, and I am not going to pretend I have the answers, or fully understand. The amount of pain you have endured is unimaginable to most. I can only ask that you stay strong.

If you feel the need to talk, or just get a few things off your mind, reach out to me and I will gladly listen.

Thanks Brother...
Life would be boring if there wasn't ups and downs..
Life is demanding and can be quite cruel at times..
Life is Beautiful...if you look hard enough, full of Miracle-Gro, bubble gum, Cuban coffee, Max hot chicas and cold beer...
Life is what we make of IT...
Im sad..deeply sad...and empty
BUT
My determination is only stronger...
Z...

 

[TopDawg]

Thanks Brother...
Life would be boring if there wasn't ups and downs..
Life is demanding and can be quite cruel at times..
Life is Beautiful...if you look hard enough, full of Miracle-Gro, bubble gum, Cuban coffee, Max hot chicas and cold beer...
Life is what we make of IT...
Im sad..deeply sad...and empty
BUT
My determination is only stronger...
Z...

I agree with the ups and downs. We all experience hard times in some way. Those dark hard times allow us to look back at the great times and encourage us to overcome whatever trial we are walking through.

 

[tommygunz]

Brother Z I’m deeply sorry to hear of your loss. I know this weighs heavily on your mind and being ill makes it that much worse.
Life is a precious gift that’s fragile at best, we are not in control, no matter how much we think we are. Treat each day as something special, because it truly is and it may be the last.
Don’t live in the past because you can’t change it and worrying about the future is futile. All we have is right now, this very moment is all that counts.

 

[zionoir626]

That's my Brother TG...us old dogs..!!
And thanks again for returning to what you help build...
We owe so very much to the Founding Father's of ASF...To have a place of Brotherhood and Fellowship..
And...
A place to grow and learn...and teach..in the Hope to uplift each other...
And improve our lives...
Z...

 

[Multislacking]

Music helps.

Inspiring words from Ugly Kid Joe

 

[tommygunz]

That's my Brother TG...us old dogs..!!

Boy ain’t that the truth. Every day I’m more like an old mutt that just wants to lay on the rug in front of the fireplace and fart in my sleep.

 

[Multislacking]

One more...with lyrics

 

[zionoir626]

Boy ain’t that the truth. Every day I’m more like an old mutt that just wants to lay on the rug in front of the fireplace and fart in my sleep.

I wish all were farts..lol
About half n half now...
Z...

 

[Bullseye Forever]

I still think Of my dad every single day it never goes away never but I’m a peace with it it’s ever so hard but I pray and talk to him and it helps it’s hard in anyone here that’s lost loved ones and my heart goes out to all y’all


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[zionoir626]

Part of Life...
Have to know Loss...in this life..
Essential part of being Human..
It's the Fire in which we are Forged...
Loss...and how we deal...defines who we Are...
Z...

 

[badgerz94]

I posted a thread in the GC forum about losing my wife. Its been roughly 2 months now and I am worse off every day. I cant listen to music without having a breakdown or watch any of the tv shows that we watched together. My wife was young, in her 30s and the victim of bad doctors and a bad hospital which makes it even harder to accept. I intend to contact my father in laws lawyer to sue the hospital but havent yet because its too hard to talk about

Im angry, depressed and full of hatred towards the doctors and God. The people who work for me walk on eggshells around me because of my anger. I snap multiple times per day. I was at a Milwaukee Bucks charity event 2 weeks ago and went off on a lady who tried to flirt with me and I didnt even feel bad.

I hope all here that are dealing with the loss of a loved one cope better than me. I would never commit suicide(I've lost 5 friends and family members over the years and hated them for doing that so I dont want to be a hypocrite) but if I had a heart attack I wouldnt bother calling 911, I'd let myself die. Every night I go to bed I wish that I would die peacefully in my sleep. Maybe I will feel differently in a year or so but I doubt it. I could maybe deal with starting over in my 20s or even 30s but not in my mid 40s. I cant fathom having to date again in this putrid world of Snapchat, Instagram, online dating, etc. and dealing with all the baggage that people over 40 have.

A couple of months ago people would describe me as the happiest guy they know, fun to be around and always positive. Now I'm just an angry, depressed, negative asshole. I guess because I had a great life my first 40 plus years, God thought he should balance the scales and the rest of my life is destined to be miserable. Hopefully the rest of my life wont be that long.