Addiction & Sobriety

[WetStuffRedStuff]

I’m not sure what prompted me to start this thread, but whatever reason, I did. We all know someone in our life, our family (maybe even ourselves) that struggle with addiction. Whether it’s drugs or alcohol or what have you, addiction can ruin a person’s life.

I’m creating this thread to share my story for one, and for others to share their’s and also as a source of encouragement for anyone going through these things.

A little about me:

(I could type out a LONG LONG story here but I’m going to just hit the high notes because I don’t think people will sit here and read an entire life story)

- My dad was an alcoholic and also a drug addict so it runs in my family. There is most definitely a genetic component to addiction.

- I started drinking wine at my friends grandmothers house around the age of 11. I absolutely was in love with feeling impaired from the very first buzz.

- Started smoking weed shortly thereafter around the age of 12 and became an every day all day pot smoker

- Freshman year of high school I wanted to try all of the drugs I could and began using cocaine, MDMA, pain pills, LSD, mushrooms, and occasionally meth when I was able to get my hands on it.

- I knew quickly what my drug of choice was, cocaine, and I loved it. I loved to get drunk, then do a bunch of cocaine, and then get drunk again and repeat the process until the sun came up

- As I went through high school I continued to indulge in all of the drugs I could but cocaine as always my go to

- I smoked crack for the first time when I was 19 and instantly knew I found my NEW drug of choice. Especially when mixed with alcohol, it produced euphoria for me like no other.

- FAST FORWARD A FEW YEARS
Somehow I managed to stay clean for a couple of years. I got an amazing job, I got
Married, had a kid, and somehow only drank occasionally

- Not long after my first son was born I began using crack again

- It got worse than it ever did in the past. I became a thief, I stole from anyone and everyone to include every single person in my life, strangers, businesses, employers.

- I lost a business, we lost our house, and I was finally told by my own mom and sister and rest of my family to stay away. They changed the locks on their houses and I wasn’t able to see my kid and no one wanted anything to do with me

- I had no way of getting money besides stealing and (being im a good looking guy) I created online ads for men who I knew would pay me, or get me high in exchange for performing oral sex on me. THIS WAS MY ROCK BOTTOM

- FAST FORWARD AGAIN. I am getting remarried to the same woman, my life is bette than it has ever been. All of my relationships have been or are in the process of getting restored.

- I am active in my recovery and I have a sponsor

I hope someone else can relate to this and hopefully get some encouragement

 

[01dragonslayer]

Wow. Thanks for sharing your story brotha. It sounds like you had much to contend with. I admire your courage and tenacity to have the strength to pull through. I am not trying to preach or push any theology but have you found faith?

 

[WetStuffRedStuff]

Wow. Thanks for sharing your story brotha. It sounds like you had much to contend with. I admire your courage and tenacity to have the strength to pull through. I am not trying to preach or push any theology but have you found faith?

I have, but man, I lose my temper daily and do stuff daily I know I shouldn’t. Just yesterday I told someone on these forums to fuck off… so yeah, I’m a work in progress.

But yes I was raised in church and have always been a believer, and now that im sober im back in church and working on my personal relationship with God.

One day at a time

 

[Augustine5I]

I have, but man, I lose my temper daily and do stuff daily I know I shouldn’t. Just yesterday I told someone on these forums to fuck off… so yeah, I’m a work in progress.

But yes I was raised in church and have always been a believer, and now that im sober im back in church and working on my personal relationship with God.

One day at a time

Try to remember this… it’s why you get angry and lash out.

What’s behind the anger? Hurt.

That is the real emotion. You are feeling hurt.

What’s behind the hurt? Feeling you are a victim or have been victimized. Real or not.

Our feelings aren’t always rooted in truth or reality. Often times our feelings lie.

Look up the Sedona method on “letting go” of anger/hurt.

You can’t be the best version of yourself while you behave this way… you know it. And don’t even like yourself.

Also, learn to forgive yourself.

 

[WetStuffRedStuff]

Try to remember this… it’s why you get angry and lash out.

What’s behind the anger? Hurt.

That is the real emotion. You are feeling hurt.

What’s behind the hurt? Feeling you are a victim or have been victimized. Real or not.

Our feelings aren’t always rooted in truth or reality. Often times our feelings lie.

Look up the Sedona method on “letting go” of anger/hurt.

You can’t be the best version of yourself while you behave this way… you know it. And don’t even like yourself.

Also, learn to forgive yourself.

Right on so many points bro.

One other thing that’s always been DEEPLY rooted in me is insecurity. Major insecurity. Which was one reason drugs became such a fixation in my life and also such a big reason as to why I use AAS now….. and that’s a whole OTHER topic in itself.

As far as forgiving myself goes, most days I feel at peace with all the terrible things I did. But you’re right, a lot of it still sticks with me and I don’t think will ever go away.

 

[JaceBon]

Heroin was my demon. Got away from it for years now and thats why I think I love AAS so much. It’s amazing that I can put something in my body that isn’t only destroying.

 

[zionoir626]

A great deal of us have had our fair share of fighting demons.. Whether it's PTSD..abuse..tragedies..the list is endless..
It took a lot to reviel that history..got my respect..

I've been hit with it as well..self..siblings..parents..then what usually follows..jail..prison..then homeless..Some of us are really hard headed and slow on the uptake..Some of us have so much in common,scary sometimes..While others never touched by addiction,just don't understand and can never relate..

Sadly,we loose good PE each day to addiction..a real problem that most just turn their backs too..

Good Thread..and if you're out there fighting and Need help..Get Help..Please...
Z...

 

[ponyboy]

I’m not sure what prompted me to start this thread, but whatever reason, I did. We all know someone in our life, our family (maybe even ourselves) that struggle with addiction. Whether it’s drugs or alcohol or what have you, addiction can ruin a person’s life.

I’m creating this thread to share my story for one, and for others to share their’s and also as a source of encouragement for anyone going through these things.

A little about me:

(I could type out a LONG LONG story here but I’m going to just hit the high notes because I don’t think people will sit here and read an entire life story)

- My dad was an alcoholic and also a drug addict so it runs in my family. There is most definitely a genetic component to addiction.

- I started drinking wine at my friends grandmothers house around the age of 11. I absolutely was in love with feeling impaired from the very first buzz.

- Started smoking weed shortly thereafter around the age of 12 and became an every day all day pot smoker

- Freshman year of high school I wanted to try all of the drugs I could and began using cocaine, MDMA, pain pills, LSD, mushrooms, and occasionally meth when I was able to get my hands on it.

- I knew quickly what my drug of choice was, cocaine, and I loved it. I loved to get drunk, then do a bunch of cocaine, and then get drunk again and repeat the process until the sun came up

- As I went through high school I continued to indulge in all of the drugs I could but cocaine as always my go to

- I smoked crack for the first time when I was 19 and instantly knew I found my NEW drug of choice. Especially when mixed with alcohol, it produced euphoria for me like no other.

- FAST FORWARD A FEW YEARS
Somehow I managed to stay clean for a couple of years. I got an amazing job, I got
Married, had a kid, and somehow only drank occasionally

- Not long after my first son was born I began using crack again

- It got worse than it ever did in the past. I became a thief, I stole from anyone and everyone to include every single person in my life, strangers, businesses, employers.

- I lost a business, we lost our house, and I was finally told by my own mom and sister and rest of my family to stay away. They changed the locks on their houses and I wasn’t able to see my kid and no one wanted anything to do with me

- I had no way of getting money besides stealing and (being im a good looking guy) I created online ads for men who I knew would pay me, or get me high in exchange for performing oral sex on me. THIS WAS MY ROCK BOTTOM

- FAST FORWARD AGAIN. I am getting remarried to the same woman, my life is bette than it has ever been. All of my relationships have been or are in the process of getting restored.

- I am active in my recovery and I have a sponsor

I hope someone else can relate to this and hopefully get some encouragement

Wow thats heavy. I know the cocaine desire. My addiction was coke, alcohol, xstacy, and gambling. All created by not properly grieving my fathers death when I was 24.

Keep up you recovery and progress of being a great person who may have some faults. Everyone has a fault or many faults. Acknowledging these faults is most important and knowing that it is ok not to be perfect.

Head up and keep moving forward champ.

 

[Lanez]

Congratulations on the clean time. Thanks for the post. Myself, I'll be 8 years clean march 7th. Meth/cocaine. Needle junkie. The part I loved the most about getting clean, was people telling me "you're a needle junkie. They never make it". Thanks again, my friend. Keep living the good life.

 

[01dragonslayer]

Thats awesome. We all do brotha but doesn't matter. Walk in his foot steps and he forgives. Your exactly right.....day by day.

I have, but man, I lose my temper daily and do stuff daily I know I shouldn’t. Just yesterday I told someone on these forums to fuck off… so yeah, I’m a work in progress.

But yes I was raised in church and have always been a believer, and now that im sober im back in church and working on my personal relationship with God.

One day at a time

 

[zionoir626]

51 hit on something we seldom talk about..
Forgiveness...for self

Something I constantly struggling with.. it's a difficult concept to really grasp..and without the help of God,perhaps impossible..
Guilt and self damnation is a real thing..lack of worthiness..that's a heavy weight to Harbor..

Often comes up for me..when PE have to help ME..
Go and help someone who is worthy of Love or Kindness...for I am Not..!!

That's BullShit..and will Kill You Fast..
I still have my issues with forgiveness..and probably always will..but today I'm working on it..and that's a start..
So. With addiction comes many many things..but one thing at a Time..
Z...

 

[Milford King]

I’ve tried everything but DMT and xTc in my day. Cocaine and alcohol we’re definitely my favorites. Then the pain pills. It was all about the party for me… wasn’t running from anything (at least not that was obvious). My buddy said he thought my over indulgence was due to me not really being able to go out and hang out with friends when I was in my early teen years so when I got out on my own it was go time. I was a functional druggy. But I got back into the gym after 4 years of getting blitzed on every and anything. It was way too easy for me to find so I was always invited to parties and shit. Somehow held down several jobs and bought a house at 19… got married at 21 started having kids at 23 … was clean for the last decade (besides steroids and gym sessions) my life was work and home.

it wasn’t until about 2 years being side tracked with injuries and a plethora of bullshit that I started tipping the bottles back again. Seems the shit never ends but I now realize I use alcohol as a band aid and I honestly fuckin hate it. I go for a week straight sober and then I feel like I’m short tempered and just grumpy and I’ll smash the alcohol again and then back to a 2 day hangover and missed gym sessions.

It’s always back and forth. Think it’s time I checked out and AA meeting and definitely need to get closer to God.

Good thread tho.

 

[01dragonslayer]

I’ve tried everything but DMT and xTc in my day. Cocaine and alcohol we’re definitely my favorites. Then the pain pills. It was all about the party for me… wasn’t running from anything (at least not that was obvious). My buddy said he thought my over indulgence was due to me not really being able to go out and hang out with friends when I was in my early teen years so when I got out on my own it was go time. I was a functional druggy. But I got back into the gym after 4 years of getting blitzed on every and anything. It was way too easy for me to find so I was always invited to parties and shit. Somehow held down several jobs and bought a house at 19… got married at 21 started having kids at 23 … was clean for the last decade (besides steroids and gym sessions) my life was work and home.

it wasn’t until about 2 years being side tracked with injuries and a plethora of bullshit that I started tipping the bottles back again. Seems the shit never ends but I now realize I use alcohol as a band aid and I honestly fuckin hate it. I go for a week straight sober and then I feel like I’m short tempered and just grumpy and I’ll smash the alcohol again and then back to a 2 day hangover and missed gym sessions.

It’s always back and forth. Think it’s time I checked out and AA meeting and definitely need to get closer to God.

Good thread tho.

God will never come after you in response to something you have done. God loves you and wants the best for you, always and forever, no matter whether you act with love or hate. Since you are a Christian, there is nothing you could ever do to make God hate you or punish you or come after you with vengeance.

 

[01dragonslayer]

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

1John 1:9

 

[zionoir626]

MK
Sounds like it's Time for some real help..
And letting some one that knows how...
Brother..if I can help in anyway..Just Ask

That took guts
Z...

 

[Multislacking]

Seems the shit never ends but I now realize I use alcohol as a band aid and I honestly fuckin hate it. I go for a week straight sober and then I feel like I’m short tempered and just grumpy and I’ll smash the alcohol again and then back to a 2 day hangover and missed gym sessions.

You been reading my old journal?

I feel that last sentence. The trigger/reward system is all backwards. I know you know what I'm talking about.

 

[zionoir626]

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

1John 1:9

For me..
It's forgiving myself.. that's the whole problem..
And I doubt I'm the only One..
It's a work in process..

 

[Kingswole1]

Heroin was my number 1 but id do whatever was offered. Stole from people closest too me. Just a scummy person. Took 6 trips away and a bunch of rehabs. Finally I had enough well that and the 42-96 mths helped. Feb 13th will be 10 yrs clean for me. Most of the people I did wrong I am still close with and some just wait for my downfall. Its not easy but its much easier than being a piece of shit like I use too thats for sure!!!

 

[Lanez]

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

1John 1:9

No religion dude. Come on

 

[NY_Angie]

No religion dude. Come on

This subform is where we can speak freely about anything, with no judgement. Its not for you to say what he can or cannot post, especially if he is trying to help his fellow brother with a verse that touches him.

 

[E.J.D]

https://youtu.be/WAe9Hmg92Ew
I have only watched parts of this interview but Brad has some great content.

Keep fighting everyone who's battling. I can't relate to the struggle with alcohol and drugs so I can offer no advice or insite. But I can offer a ear to listen.

 

[Obscured78]

No religion dude. Come on

Right on, no religion!!!!
But dragonslayer isn't talking religion. He is talking about a personal relationship he has with Christ and I love it! A relationship you confess and are forgiven! Forgiveness is key. Forgiveness of self is key and oft times the hardest. 70 times 7 times a day you are to forgive a person even if that person is you.

 

[AR-15]

When you provide this community with as much Life, Diet, Training and AAS information that 01dragonslayer does then you can have an opinion. Until then SHUT THE FUCK UP…….,

No religion dude. Come on

 

[Lanez]

When you provide this community with as much Life, Diet, Training and AAS information that 01dragonslayer does then you can have an opinion. Until then SHUT THE FUCK UP…….,

Eat a dick, cry baby. I've seen your whack job posts. You should log off and stop breathing entirely

- - - Updated - - -

Right on, no religion!!!!
But dragonslayer isn't talking religion. He is talking about a personal relationship he has with Christ and I love it! A relationship you confess and are forgiven! Forgiveness is key. Forgiveness of self is key and oft times the hardest. 70 times 7 times a day you are to forgive a person even if that person is you.

Christ=religion. Lame

- - - Updated - - -

This subform is where we can speak freely about anything, with no judgement. Its not for you to say what he can or cannot post, especially if he is trying to help his fellow brother with a verse that touches him.

Didn't judge him. Didn't say he was a bad person. However religion is just a glorified cult. Suckers

 

[Lanez]

He doesn't forgive you just cuz you asked him to. That's not how it works. Bash yourself in the face with that book.

 

[Lanez]

Organized religion is stupid. And just plain bullshit. If you suckers believe the Jesus theory you are in for a rude awakening.

 

[Lanez]

Jesus is to adults as Santa is to kids. Just another way to lure idiots in for their money.

 

[Lanez]

Right on, no religion!!!!
But dragonslayer isn't talking religion. He is talking about a personal relationship he has with Christ and I love it! A relationship you confess and are forgiven! Forgiveness is key. Forgiveness of self is key and oft times the hardest. 70 times 7 times a day you are to forgive a person even if that person is you.

Well this is lame too. He's absolutely talking religion. Lol @ Christ. The fuck. You're like little robots

 

[XOTG85]

Lanez everyone has their own beliefs. STFU and go jerk off to kiddy porn.

 

[Augustine5I]

Guy is having a legit melt.

Let’s enjoy it.

Love when a twat like him breaks down.

Neg train the cunt. Watch him cry like a baby