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Advice

AR-15

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Get Shredded!
So this recent diagnosis finally hit me enough to realize death is a real possibility. Lol Duh. Not saying I’m gonna now but it did make me realize I never made any plans for my death whenever it does happen. Anyone got any real advice on what your supposed to do before you die. I mean a will is number one I’m sure but what about the funeral and stuff. If there’s no one to pay for anything what happens to your body? Just a cheap box and a hole? I don’t want to cost anyone anything. Do I put it in my will that I just want cremated? Then who enforces that wish if there’s no one? I’m sorry to ask this shit but I honestly never thought about all this shit before so I’m way clueless. Thanks in advance
 
Generally speaking, "advance directive" is what will get your path started. That can include a DNR if that is your wish, etc. I'm not 100% on your current relationship status and your head may be in a weird spot from the whole cuz thing. Look at "living will" or trusts. You can also preplan your entire funeral and pay for it in advance. You can specify ALL of your wishes there. Cheap casket, etc. I just went through this with my folks and they leaned towards the "drop me in the ground and throw dirt over me." Believe it or not, a metal box was cheaper than the old wood box type. And was easier for the funeral home to lift, secure, etc. You can specify no embalming and that will mean no viewing either (depending on laws). Make sure your beneficiaries are up to date on all your bank accounts, 401k, etc, etc. The funeral home will probably provide 3-5 copies of the death certificate so that your beneficiary can give them to the appropriate people.
 
Generally speaking, "advance directive" is what will get your path started. That can include a DNR if that is your wish, etc. I'm not 100% on your current relationship status and your head may be in a weird spot from the whole cuz thing. Look at "living will" or trusts. You can also preplan your entire funeral and pay for it in advance. You can specify ALL of your wishes there. Cheap casket, etc. I just went through this with my folks and they leaned towards the "drop me in the ground and throw dirt over me." Believe it or not, a metal box was cheaper than the old wood box type. And was easier for the funeral home to lift, secure, etc. You can specify no embalming and that will mean no viewing either (depending on laws). Make sure your beneficiaries are up to date on all your bank accounts, 401k, etc, etc. The funeral home will probably provide 3-5 copies of the death certificate so that your beneficiary can give them to the appropriate people.
Best time to get a will prepared as well particularly if there's a lot of assets including crypto are involved.
 
Anything you do not want family having fights over get it completed ASAP. Otherwise cremation will not be done if there is nothing in place and a family member wants a full funeral. Make sure all wishes are done in a legal document otherwise it will lead a family member to decide for you and all others. Death causes emotions to be whacked and rarely will 2 people agree to beat options. Money , burial, kids and anything you care about needs to be clearly instructed. And sooner the better or they will say you weren’t of clear mind when you made these decisions.
 
Anything you do not want family having fights over get it completed ASAP. Otherwise cremation will not be done if there is nothing in place and a family member wants a full funeral. Make sure all wishes are done in a legal document otherwise it will lead a family member to decide for you and all others. Death causes emotions to be whacked and rarely will 2 people agree to beat options. Money , burial, kids and anything you care about needs to be clearly instructed. And sooner the better or they will say you weren’t of clear mind when you made these decisions.

I know this sounds morbid but in total agreement with this as how you want things done when your time comes as your will and advance directive should govern. Best to have your intentions up front and in writing to defuse any feuds.

It's also highly recommended you hire a lawyer to draft your will (and advance directive) to make sure all the bases are covered and in proper form for your state's probate. In addition you should name your executor (who will be in charge once you are gone).
 
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You have more TIME than you think...
Z...

Let’s hope he does. And I am not being crappy with this. Anyone who doesn’t have their final decisions clearly stated is risking a major blow up by family members. I sold final expense and life insurance for years. Everyone gets along until the emotions of death arrive, then everyone gets too wrapped up in their pain to think rationally. Having a body sit and wait for a family to decide isn’t good. More importantly one family member blames the other for imposing their decision on the group and then they don’t speak for years. Get it all set yourself and let em be passed at you. Not eachother.
 
I'm going to add something else. I grew up going to every funeral of every person we remotely knew or was related to. It sucks. It's suppose to suck. But...my folks had their plans set and it was no funeral, no viewing, nada. And I have to say, it made it the "easiest" experience I've ever dealt with. There were plenty of people who could/would have had reason to stir shit up. But they didn't. And couldn't really. I mean if you think about it, funerals put all those family members and such into the same room...ones that haven't talked in years because of fighting, etc. Why thrust all those emotional people together in one of the *worst* situations ever? It doesn't make sense. Nobody ever "makes up" at a funeral in my experience. Nobody. All it does is give them an opportunity to further fuel the hate and divide. And maybe even get a chance to physically cheap shot a grieving loved one. Yep, that happens all too often.

Some people say you need a funeral for closure. As long as you're 100% the person didn't die from something weird, or you think it's someone else they're burying, or an empty casket and the person is actually in hiding...there's plenty of other ways to get closure. We went to the cemetery after the burial in our respective family groups. No one had to share their moment of grief in some awkward "oh shit, what is going to happen?" mood. Everybody got to say their own goodbyes, in their own way. I can't stress enough how much better this was for *everyone's* mental health. It was a complete night and day difference from every previous death experience I've had. Even my wife agreed. And at the end of the day, we didn't get a single complaint about "no funeral". Not one. And people loved my dad.
 
Let’s hope he does. And I am not being crappy with this. Anyone who doesn’t have their final decisions clearly stated is risking a major blow up by family members. I sold final expense and life insurance for years. Everyone gets along until the emotions of death arrive, then everyone gets too wrapped up in their pain to think rationally. Having a body sit and wait for a family to decide isn’t good. More importantly one family member blames the other for imposing their decision on the group and then they don’t speak for years. Get it all set yourself and let em be passed at you. Not eachother.

I totally agree with you...BUT when you get a diag like that..it takes TIME to get back up..takes help and support to layout a Path..
AR has no one right now.. Negativity is for breakfast,lunch and dinner...I doubt anyone can pull themselves out of THAT...Alone..!!

Positive thoughts and actions are Paramount at this early stage...I have seen so many leave the Dr.s Office,saying I'm dead...He is in the shit deep right NOW..and needs encouragement,hope and direction..

Not for Not
I could care less about where my shell ends up..not at this stage anyway..Believe me when you spend most of the month in bed,the last thing I'm thinking about when I'm UP...is Death...No you live every second to the Fullest..

There is no Right...no Wrong..only what ONE chooses..and what ever it is..We need to except that person's decision..and AR I Will...
Z...
 
I totally agree with you...BUT when you get a diag like that..it takes TIME to get back up..takes help and support to layout a Path..
AR has no one right now.. Negativity is for breakfast,lunch and dinner...I doubt anyone can pull themselves out of THAT...Alone..!!

Positive thoughts and actions are Paramount at this early stage...I have seen so many leave the Dr.s Office,saying I'm dead...He is in the shit deep right NOW..and needs encouragement,hope and direction..

Not for Not
I could care less about where my shell ends up..not at this stage anyway..Believe me when you spend most of the month in bed,the last thing I'm thinking about when I'm UP...is Death...No you live every second to the Fullest..

There is no Right...no Wrong..only what ONE chooses..and what ever it is..We need to except that person's decision..and AR I Will...
Z...

Well your point is valid if no one is in his life. But when that’s not the case it causes problems and I’ve seen boys, and I call them that because they are too fucking ego centric to think of anyone but themselves, that say it’s not my problem. Well hate to break it to you but it is. You get one chance to leave this earth doing something right and if all you do is create discourse and anger then it speaks to your lack of care and character for those you left behind. Again, speaking for all you out there that think you have been granted life until your in your 80s. Death shows up more often than not for those who leave a mess behind and then leave it to family to go beg on the streets and establish go fund me!
 
IML Gear Cream!
Listen my Grandmother laid out a great plan for her estate..but no one liked it..so off to court and it Was overturned..Her money hungry son F'ed everyone..Yes I still agree with you..I went thru a crap load of stuff when my parents died..Families Will fight always..

What family does or doesn't do is ON THEM...

My point was..and still is...worry about living..we could all die tomorrow..
How do you want to spend what TIME your might have left..

AR is a pro fighter
He just needs to get a plan laid out..and personally I think he will be fine..
Z...
 
BTW
Death is messy..no matter what you plan out after your gone..
The hurt is unavoidable...that is the Cold hard fact
..
In the yrs my girl and family and friends have supported me...I am guilty of never once thinking about my Funeral..
 
If you do not have a living will or trust all your assets after passing will most likely go to the state and your family will not get much. My wife and I put together both a few years after we got married and it cost us maybe a couple hundred bucks.

You can prepay for funeral expenses and arrangements.
 
You guys need to get up to speed..
He's broke..without family..no wife..no support..Nothing but C staring him in the face..

He needs a plan to fight this..
 
You guys need to get up to speed..
He's broke..without family..no wife..no support..Nothing but C staring him in the face..

He needs a plan to fight this..


No disrespect but how were we supposed to know?
 
As always thanks to everyone for the advice. Z and Multi have went over and above for me and I’m still not even sure why. I know it sounds stupid now but I really had no idea where to start other than a lawyer. Honestly other than setting my kids up with education money I never thought about getting old let alone dying. Also never had to personally be involved in a funeral so I was clueless with that as well. I really appreciate the advice. Hopefully I can return the favors someday 😊😊😊
 
If you do not have a living will or trust all your assets after passing will most likely go to the state and your family will not get much. My wife and I put together both a few years after we got married and it cost us maybe a couple hundred bucks.

You can prepay for funeral expenses and arrangements.

What state do you live in?! Don't tell...that was rhetorical/sarcasm. MOST states allow all assets to go immediately to the surviving spouse. But it is prudent to check into your state laws and see what they actually say.
 
As always thanks to everyone for the advice. Z and Multi have went over and above for me and I’m still not even sure why. I know it sounds stupid now but I really had no idea where to start other than a lawyer. Honestly other than setting my kids up with education money I never thought about getting old let alone dying. Also never had to personally be involved in a funeral so I was clueless with that as well. I really appreciate the advice. Hopefully I can return the favors someday 😊😊😊

Because we are Family here..some just say that..but many mean it..
Like I tell my girl from TIME-to-TIME
If you're not there when I need you..!

I don't fucking need YOU..
Z...
 
I must have missed the discussion of this so I don't know the particulars, but real sorry to hear about it. This is my .02 cents.

Only items that are in your name have to go through court to settle your estate. You can sign over items requiring a title, like property, to someone else before you pass, rather than bequeath it to them via a will. That's why a lot of wealthy people use trusts instead of wills. No court proceedings necessary. It's more private (the court proceedings are public record) and the survivor doesn't have pay an attorney to represent them through the process. It makes it much easier on the surviving relatives.

If you do use a will, you can just look up the requirements for your state and do it yourself (it's usually quite simple), but make sure that you have two people witness it and have both their signatures notarized. If the sigs aren't notarized, then the two witnesses may have to hunted down to verify the authenticity. Depending on the state that you are in, if you die intestate (intestate means, without a will), there are fixed, firm laws on who gets what of your possessions. Most laws of intestacy state that a surviving spouse gets everything.

Good luck and may you find peace before you depart this world.
 
Get Shredded!
Listen my Grandmother laid out a great plan for her estate..but no one liked it..so off to court and it Was overturned..Her money hungry son F'ed everyone..Yes I still agree with you..I went thru a crap load of stuff when my parents died..Families Will fight always..

What family does or doesn't do is ON THEM...

My point was..and still is...worry about living..we could all die tomorrow..
How do you want to spend what TIME your might have left..

AR is a pro fighter
He just needs to get a plan laid out..and personally I think he will be fine..
Z...

Good estate lawyers can deal with this issue by drawing up everything in a way that reduces the risk of the will getting overturned. Family fights most likely happen if the person has a lot of assets that can be turned into cash and with the proper tools these can be nipped in the bud before they happen.
 
I just recently had power of attorney signed over to me for my mom. Registered as the executor of estate and executor of medical. Went to her bank and became co owner of all her accounts. It sucks man. My.dad has done nothing and just says to turn his body over to the state when I start asking him questions, I guess in this situation the state will just take you body to the incinerator, I need to check on that.
I need to check on things for myself actually, I'm not in too good a shape myself.
Good luck bro, my wife has a very strong cancer gene in her family, already had tumors removed twice, now just yesterday they say they see a mass in her breast so we're waiting for news on that now.
 
I just recently had power of attorney signed over to me for my mom. Registered as the executor of estate and executor of medical. Went to her bank and became co owner of all her accounts. It sucks man. My.dad has done nothing and just says to turn his body over to the state when I start asking him questions, I guess in this situation the state will just take you body to the incinerator, I need to check on that.
I need to check on things for myself actually, I'm not in too good a shape myself.
Good luck bro, my wife has a very strong cancer gene in her family, already had tumors removed twice, now just yesterday they say they see a mass in her breast so we're waiting for news on that now.

Motherfucker! Damn, bro sorry to hear that…. Prayers.

You and your family need a break.

May God give you his blessing and favor. Amen
 
I just recently had power of attorney signed over to me for my mom. Registered as the executor of estate and executor of medical. Went to her bank and became co owner of all her accounts. It sucks man. My.dad has done nothing and just says to turn his body over to the state when I start asking him questions, I guess in this situation the state will just take you body to the incinerator, I need to check on that.
I need to check on things for myself actually, I'm not in too good a shape myself.
Good luck bro, my wife has a very strong cancer gene in her family, already had tumors removed twice, now just yesterday they say they see a mass in her breast so we're waiting for news on that now.

Been there, done that...still doing it. It's a lot man. I can't begin to tell you HOW much it really is. Even if your relationship is great, it becomes a point of contention given enough time. I don't know if it's better when they lose their faculty or if they hang on to it and know everything that is going on. Either way has it's pros and cons. Don't forget to give yourself breaks and take care of your own mental/physical health. Being a primary caregiver is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. And you may think "it's just finances" and a doctor visit here and there, but it becomes so much more. So, so much more. Sorry man...I've got ptsd from this (joking/not joking).

OK...on to matters that *should* be easier to deal with. The "state will bury me" thing is pretty much a thing of the past. They would literally have to have no living kin, etc. In other words, the state couldn't identify who is responsible. And even in that case, the state would seek reimbursement from their estate...at inflated service fees. At least in the states I'm familiar with...I would imagine that is pretty common though.
 
This sucks bro. I'll be good since this is probably not the time to say what I really want to say but dammit you threw the perfect lob pass. Head up big dog and keep fighting.
 
What state do you live in?! Don't tell...that was rhetorical/sarcasm. MOST states allow all assets to go immediately to the surviving spouse. But it is prudent to check into your state laws and see what they actually say.

That's why a good estate lawyer is worth it as that person will explain the law and prepare your documents based on the information that's given and file them properly.
 
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