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Would you be pissed?

AR-15

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If you found out your wife of 20 years banged your cousin BEFORE you got married but while you were still dating. I mean is that technically cheating still? Would you guys be pissed or am I making too much of it since it was so long ago? Don’t get me wrong I’m fucking pissed but I also tend to fly off the handle very quickly so I figured I’d ask all of you. We are pretty open about sex so for me it’s not so much that she fucked him it’s more that she never told me. Now I feel like I’ve kinda been made a fool of for 20 years. I mean had I of known I would have driven my fist down his throat and we could be even. Now I’m not sure wtf to do or how I’m supposed to feel. He’s actually dead now so I can’t even go beat his ass now for him not telling me either.
 
I'd be pissed too but I can also get why a new girlfriend wouldn't tell you she didn't know you would end up together for 20 years but she owes you something special for sure lol
 
If you found out your wife of 20 years banged your cousin BEFORE you got married but while you were still dating. I mean is that technically cheating still? Would you guys be pissed or am I making too much of it since it was so long ago? Don’t get me wrong I’m fucking pissed but I also tend to fly off the handle very quickly so I figured I’d ask all of you. We are pretty open about sex so for me it’s not so much that she fucked him it’s more that she never told me. Now I feel like I’ve kinda been made a fool of for 20 years. I mean had I of known I would have driven my fist down his throat and we could be even. Now I’m not sure wtf to do or how I’m supposed to feel. He’s actually dead now so I can’t even go beat his ass now for him not telling me either.


Whew...given the set of circumstances, I'd probably let it slide. As long as you are otherwise happy with her today. She probably didn't say anything to avoid the drama it would create and spare your feelings. Especially if you had a decent relationship with your cousin.

Side story...the first couple of weeks that the wife and I dated, we'd meet in the park at lunch time and eat. I'd very recently had a BAD blind date. On about our fifth lunch like this, I look over and see the bad blind date working in the park. I turn away from her and kind of duck my head a bit. The wife immediately sees this and asks what is up. I tell her I had a bad blind date and the girl is working right over there. She looks over and says, "Oh shit, that's my cousin!" She thought it was funny as hell and enjoyed seeing me squirm a bit.

Second cousin story...one of her cousins was a cop and caught us parking. Luckily it was early in the game and only her bra was off. Fuck living in small towns. Everyone knows your business. Also, the above stories are not good ways to meet the wife's family.
 
If you found out your wife of 20 years banged your cousin BEFORE you got married but while you were still dating. I mean is that technically cheating still? Would you guys be pissed or am I making too much of it since it was so long ago? Don’t get me wrong I’m fucking pissed but I also tend to fly off the handle very quickly so I figured I’d ask all of you. We are pretty open about sex so for me it’s not so much that she fucked him it’s more that she never told me. Now I feel like I’ve kinda been made a fool of for 20 years. I mean had I of known I would have driven my fist down his throat and we could be even. Now I’m not sure wtf to do or how I’m supposed to feel. He’s actually dead now so I can’t even go beat his ass now for him not telling me either.

See how you said you would have driven your fist down his throat. Its actually not his fault, I’d be drivin my fist down the wifes throat. Shes the one that cheated, can’t blame the guy even if he knew. She was in the relationship with you and she has rules to follow being in a relationship, and she broke them not him.

I would be more pissed at the fact she never told you, so I agree with you. And your not overreacting. But its been 20 years, have to let it go. Can’t bring up something someone did years ago. But with that being said give her the guilt act and you better get a sex slave for a few weeks for her to make up for it.
 
If you found out your wife of 20 years banged your cousin BEFORE you got married but while you were still dating. I mean is that technically cheating still? Would you guys be pissed or am I making too much of it since it was so long ago? Don’t get me wrong I’m fucking pissed but I also tend to fly off the handle very quickly so I figured I’d ask all of you. We are pretty open about sex so for me it’s not so much that she fucked him it’s more that she never told me. Now I feel like I’ve kinda been made a fool of for 20 years. I mean had I of known I would have driven my fist down his throat and we could be even. Now I’m not sure wtf to do or how I’m supposed to feel. He’s actually dead now so I can’t even go beat his ass now for him not telling me either.

Wow well IMO she cheated on you. If you were dating then thats cheating. Im sorry to have to say that. Man this sucks for real. Really dont know what to say. I would be ao fucking pissed.
 
I don't blame you for feeling like a fool, I'd probably feel the same way. BUT it happened 20 years ago and it's ancient history now. Let it go bro! I know, eaiser said than done, but if you let it fester, that shit will consume you. If you don't mind me asking, how did you just find out about it? Was it a slip or did she throw it in your face?
 
Wow well IMO she cheated on you. If you were dating then thats cheating. Im sorry to have to say that. Man this sucks for real. Really dont know what to say. I would be ao fucking pissed.
I agree here but it has been many years tho. Be pissed for sure but let it go if ya love her and things are truly good now
 
See how you said you would have driven your fist down his throat. Its actually not his fault, I’d be drivin my fist down the wifes throat. Shes the one that cheated, can’t blame the guy even if he knew. She was in the relationship with you and she has rules to follow being in a relationship, and she broke them not him.

I would be more pissed at the fact she never told you, so I agree with you. And your not overreacting. But its been 20 years, have to let it go. Can’t bring up something someone did years ago. But with that being said give her the guilt act and you better get a sex slave for a few weeks for her to make up for it.

Nah if dude knows shes married then they both can get it. Its called respect.
 
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Yeah it definitely has me in a weird place mentally. I mean I feel kinda stupid for getting mad over something that happened 20 years ago but we had also been dating exclusively for several years before it happened. To me that’s cheating and to be honest she kinda seems like a dirty whore to me now. Bummer is we have a great marriage all the way around. I’m not even sure I want to fuck her right now. It’s fucking weird.


See how you said you would have driven your fist down his throat. Its actually not his fault, I’d be drivin my fist down the wifes throat. Shes the one that cheated, can’t blame the guy even if he knew. She was in the relationship with you and she has rules to follow being in a relationship, and she broke them not him.

I would be more pissed at the fact she never told you, so I agree with you. And your not overreacting. But its been 20 years, have to let it go. Can’t bring up something someone did years ago. But with that being said give her the guilt act and you better get a sex slave for a few weeks for her to make up for it.
 
If you don't mind me asking, how did you just find out about it? Was it a slip or did she throw it in your face?

Oh shit...good question. I took it as "finally came clean"....but if it was a "throw it in your face" then fuck that noise.
 
I actually just found out about it from a 3rd party and it was a slip up on their part. I approached her and at first she denied it but when I explained how I found out she finally fessed up. Apparently everyone in our inner circle new about it but were afraid if I found out about it I would kill him. Believe me if he wasn’t already dead he most likely would be. So yeah I’m kinda mad at a bunch of people at the moment.


I don't blame you for feeling like a fool, I'd probably feel the same way. BUT it happened 20 years ago and it's ancient history now. Let it go bro! I know, eaiser said than done, but if you let it fester, that shit will consume you. If you don't mind me asking, how did you just find out about it? Was it a slip or did she throw it in your face?
 
I agree here but it has been many years tho. Be pissed for sure but let it go if ya love her and things are truly good now

But if she cheated then and was able to keep that secret for 20yrs how many other times did ahe cheat amd what else does he not know. Too much to wonder about
 
I actually just found out about it from a 3rd party and it was a slip up on their part. I approached her and at first she denied it but when I explained how I found out she finally fessed up. Apparently everyone in our inner circle new about it but were afraid if I found out about it I would kill him. Believe me if he wasn’t already dead he most likely would be. So yeah I’m kinda mad at a bunch of people at the moment.

Wow i thought she told you. This changes everything. Fuck that she never told you and still denied it. What else hasn’t she told you. Im sorry my friend this is too much.
 
yeah it definitely has me in a weird place mentally. I mean i feel kinda stupid for getting mad over something that happened 20 years ago but we had also been dating exclusively for several years before it happened. To me that’s cheating and to be honest she kinda seems like a dirty whore to me now. Bummer is we have a great marriage all the way around. I’m not even sure i want to fuck her right now. It’s fucking weird.

no way several years. She needs to go bro !!!!!
 
OK, the "exclusive for several years" kind of taints things a bit. By that time, she surely knew it was your cousin too. That's kind of fucked up. And the fact she still tried to deny it... I can see it totally making you wonder what else she has lied about. Ugh.

But still...if you've been together 20+ yrs and are otherwise happy...something has to be going right? Hell, maybe she's been working overtime these past 20yrs trying to make it up to you. Maybe she has a cousin you can take to pound town to even the score? j/k
 
I actually just found out about it from a 3rd party and it was a slip up on their part. I approached her and at first she denied it but when I explained how I found out she finally fessed up. Apparently everyone in our inner circle new about it but were afraid if I found out about it I would kill him. Believe me if he wasn’t already dead he most likely would be. So yeah I’m kinda mad at a bunch of people at the moment.

Man those aren't friends.
 
I got married in a hall where the reception would be held...the caterer for the reception was a tramp I banged the snot out of a dozen times about 20 years earlier...before the wedding she let my wife to be know that she and I fucked...I knew the marriage was doomed...
 
Nothing I haven’t posted before. She’s very hot but I’m locked out of my Tapatalk account. If someone knows a way I’ll be more than happy to. Maybe I can send em to someone via Wickr? Can you repost them that way?


You should definitely post pics of her now. It will *totally* make you feel better about things.
 
How old are your kids? I’d be in a hotel for a while at the very least.
 
All 3 are just old enough to realize what’s up with cheating and also be totally devastated if I made an issue of this.


How old are your kids? I’d be in a hotel for a while at the very least.
 
To be honest what's done is done but yeah I'd be pissed also. Check your friends and move on.
 
Has she been a good wife? Has it been a good marriage? Do you feel like she's been cheating on you? If life is good then you gotta move on, but if this is another thing to throw on top of a pile of shit then that might make a difference. You guys weren't married, is it cheating yes, but thats the world of dating not to mention she was alot younger too. If your marriage is good then you have alot more to lose then to gain.
 
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