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My sex life officially sucks..

T

tone

Get Shredded!
I consider myself to be a successful and attractive guy. My wife's friends always joke about how they're jealous that she (my wife) gets to do me. I've been married 4 years and have never been unfaithful. I love my wife to death.. We have an amazing relationship but when the lights are off I always end up feeling empty as fuk..

She doesn't initiate anything.. No kinky blowjobs in the car.. ect..
No dirty talk
No sexy lingerie
No anal (she did the first few months we dated and seemed to enjoy it alot)
If we do have sexy time it's very predictable and I don't think I've had a blowjob in close to a year.
I always make her climax (no she isn't faking)


I have noticed myself craving the attention from other attractive females.. not because I will do anything with them but because I like the ego boost. Our sex life makes my confidence dwindle every passing month. I don't know what to do. Is every marriage like this? She just isn't a sexual person at all.

Instead of seeing a therapist I felt posting in the pit would be a better option..

I'm convinced that masturbating and weeping is my sexual destiny.
 
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I consider myself to be a successful and attractive guy. My wife's friends always joke about how they're jealous that she (my wife) gets to do me. I've been married 4 years and have never been unfaithful. I love my wife to death.. We have an amazing relationship but when the lights are off I always end up feeling empty as fuk..

She doesn't initiate anything.. No kinky blowjobs in the car.. ect..
No dirty talk
No sexy lingerie
No anal (she did the first few months we dated and seemed to enjoy it alot)
If we do have sexy time it's very predictable and I don't think I've had a blowjob in close to a year.
I always make her climax (no she isn't faking)


I have noticed myself craving the attention from other attractive females.. not because I will do anything with them but because I like the ego boost. Our sex life makes my confidence dwindle every passing month. I don't know what to do. Is every marriage like this? She just isn't a sexual person at all.

Instead of seeing a therapist I felt posting in the pit would be a better option..

I'm convinced that masturbating and weeping is my sexual destiny.
Move on

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The struggle is real. Mine sees guys with bellies and says gross. I want to say look at yourself and be as objective. We both have had medical issues this last 12 months, I have told her that I love you, but I don't want to just live with my best friend.


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Honestly I would bring it up to her and tell her how you feel. Say it lowers your self esteem and you don't feel as wanted as you once did. Ask her if she knows why it has come to this and what can be done about it. She might be getting it somewhere else bro, sucks to hear but it's something you have to at least consider
 
The struggle is real. Mine sees guys with bellies and says gross. I want to say look at yourself and be as objective. We both have had medical issues this last 12 months, I have told her that I love you, but I don't want to just live with my best friend.


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This. She doesent take care of herself really.. which doesent bother me too much. I just feel like she would be drooling over having a husband who is loving and jacked as fuk. I'm missing something it seems.
 
maybe try being more romantic and really warming her up... was she always like this ?
maybe you just did to ignite the spark.. i wouldnt talk about it with her then she will prob just feel bad and give it up
out of guilt.. you gonna have to make her want you. trust me they all have a switch that can flip.
you got some work to do thats all. go out on a surprise date, wine her dine her, dont even act like you want sex later.
just be a lil flirty all night when your out but dont over due it. then when you get home she will wanna 69 you
 
This. She doesent take care of herself really.. which doesent bother me too much. I just feel like she would be drooling over having a husband who is loving and jacked as fuk. I'm missing something it seems.

she prob feels insecure about her body with you.. women think different than men. romance her then she will let you do whatever you want
 
Definitely talk things out and tell her how you feel. Confidence and honesty will be key for that. Hopefully she has something to say and things get sorted out.
My GF for 4 years now usually doesn't initiate, but every now and then I'll get busy and after a few days no more than a week of not having sex I'll get the " can you try and be home earlier tonight".. if a "lover" can go weeks/months without sex then something isn't healthy. (Just my opinion) after years and years of being with someone you can get comfortable with the same old in the bedroom... same few positions, same few types of foreplay, and theres no spark for the woman. I myself try to change things up by fucking rough, Good ole sex, and making love. Good luck man hope things change for you for the better.
 
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This. She doesent take care of herself really.. which doesent bother me too much. I just feel like she would be drooling over having a husband who is loving and jacked as fuk. I'm missing something it seems.

We have went to counseling, this and that. I'm almost 48 yo, 195-202 lbs 10-13% and I am unhappy because, she says I'm the best looking man in my age group, but no action. She hates how woman 10-15 years younger look at me. Of course we have to help around the house, laundry, dishes, trash etc... maybe a few nights out, dinner, a nice walk? Women think different, they attract us as in shape ready to go sex kittens, when they land us they want the caring supportive figure. I don't mean to generalize all women, but outside my high school/college girl friend. No woman I have dated for an extended period of time has been consistent in the bedroom.

I feel Sheri coming after me, someone please hold me.


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she prob feels insecure about her body with you.. women think different than men. romance her then she will let you do whatever you want
This could very well be the case. Happened to me before. Have you tried being more romantic? There's usually an emotional aspect to a problem like this, whatever that may be
 
I feel you man, been married going on 10 years this month, we had our ups and down, hang in there. we went and saw a therapist and it was actually great for our marriage
 
This could very well be the case. Happened to me before. Have you tried being more romantic? There's usually an emotional aspect to a problem like this, whatever that may be

woman either need a high natty sex drive, romance or a lil var... all 3 and you got an animal you wont be able to keep up with..
 
I was married for 15 yrs, two kids. The last 5 were a lot like you described so I eventually got a divorce. The hardest but best thing I ever did. Now getting remarried to an awesome woman. The ex is in a relationship too. We get along great now.

Some things just can't get fixed....... GL
 
I feel you man been with my woman for sixteen years and I'm about to start pinning her with test while she sleeps .
 
Holy shit man... this speaks to me... I've been married for 9 1/2 years... but my wife still sucks my dick all the time. Our sex life is frequent; it's better when she's leaner, as she feels better about herself and tends to be more sexual. But when we do have sex, it's exactly the same, every time. And I have to initiate. I'm a good looking guy; I'm not ripped, but I look like I lift. There are women who dream of fucking me and can't have me because I'm faithful, but I feel like I'm just old news to the wife. She doesn't desire me... there's no lust. I've brought it up and let her know how i feel; she says she'll try to do better and be more active but she doesn't.... you can't change who you are... I'm pretty popular on Social Media; my Instagram has over 42k followers.... I get propositions all the time and I'm tempted to take them just because I like the feeling of being wanted.

I wish I had some advice for you, but I'm trying to fix my own shit. You're not crazy though, and you're not alone. I'm gonna try what bc123jm said.... try to make her feel sexy. Unfortunately, when you get old, your bulging biceps and the bulge in your pants don't turn her on anymore... now it's doing the dishes and cleaning the house....


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Men aren't wired to fuck one person for life, genetically. It's rough. Sometimes I'm in the mood for slutty, sometimes sweet and innocent, sometimes business sexy...my sexual appetite changes with the wind. But I get to fuck one person for life now...yay.


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The struggle is real. Mine sees guys with bellies and says gross. I want to say look at yourself and be as objective. We both have had medical issues this last 12 months, I have told her that I love you, but I don't want to just live with my best friend.


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😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Men aren't wired to fuck one person for life, genetically. It's rough. Sometimes I'm in the mood for slutty, sometimes sweet and innocent, sometimes business sexy...my sexual appetite changes with the wind. But I get to fuck one person for life now...yay.

Neither are women, but they won't be telling you that. :) Most men have no clue about it...
 
Men aren't wired to fuck one person for life, genetically. It's rough. Sometimes I'm in the mood for slutty, sometimes sweet and innocent, sometimes business sexy...my sexual appetite changes with the wind. But I get to fuck one person for life now...yay.


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. I feel your pain


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Look up "The Sex God Method" and give it a read -- pdf is out there. The author is a bit of a douche but the advice on female mindset and what actually turns them on is pretty dead on... until just a few final example sections that go over the edge but probably work for some tiny fraction of chicks with daddy issues, abuse histories, etc. It's not a sex technique book but rather a psychology lesson.

You could try stories, or porn, see what she's interested in. Could be real hard to open her up though.

May wanna check her phone and see if she's talking to any men you don't know about. This is far more common than men know. Close to half of women will cheat on their marriage at some point (or the entire time), just a slightly lower rate than for men. And for unmarried relationships? That rate is around 70% for both. These stats are real hard to gather especially from women, takes a lot of well-designed sexology to get at it and nullify the well known dishonesty triggers as best they can.

Make sure you treat her to what you feel you're missing. Couple get lazy and give up, so she may be feeling she doesn't have what she wants either and you don't want to go through the trouble to provide it... whatever that is.

Some couples deal with sexual boredom by becoming swingers or going to sex clubs, or becoming poly. Easy to judge and reject it, but mainstream "proper" relationships sure do involve a lot of cheating and divorce so it's not clear who has the right answer truly. Something to look into.
 
If she's low on test then trt will increase her sex drive enormously, my wife's test was 6ng, brought her up to 100-150 and she turned in into a nympho maniac.
 
maybe try being more romantic and really warming her up... was she always like this ?
maybe you just did to ignite the spark.. i wouldnt talk about it with her then she will prob just feel bad and give it up
out of guilt.. you gonna have to make her want you. trust me they all have a switch that can flip.
you got some work to do thats all. go out on a surprise date, wine her dine her, dont even act like you want sex later.
just be a lil flirty all night when your out but dont over due it. then when you get home she will wanna 69 you

This is legit what ever you don't fuck another broad. You'll wind up in a spiral of guilt that eat you alive. Also don't talk to another woman about your relationship issues it only makes everything worse as it will wind up leading to sex. The bar rats wait for this!


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This is legit what ever you do don't fuck another broad. You'll wind up in a spiral of guilt that eat you alive. Also don't talk to another woman about your relationship issues it only makes everything worse as it will wind up leading to sex. The bar rats wait for this!


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Start with communication. Neither one of you can read each other's minds. Make a SHORT list of issues and what you think is a solution. Encourage her to do the same. Move forward in small steps; recreating things you've done before and adding some things you haven't done. Both of you read The Five Love Languages and get some insight.
 
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