My wife and I have been married for 8 years, and have 2 children. She stays at home with the kids, and I work. We went to Vegas on vacation to get away from the kids. Our agreed agenda was to drink a lot (and we did), hang out at the pool, and generally be irresponsible for the weekend. During our trip, we found ourselves at a strip club. It wasn't totally spur of the moment; she had expressed to friends before we left that she'd like to go to one again (we previously went together before we were married). When asked if she'd get jealous, her answer was something along the lines of "he knows who he's going home with". The day before in Vegas, I casually mentioned going to one, and got the response "that would be hot". And when I drunkingly proposed it that night, her response was "ok". The point is, we talked about it before.
When we got there, I looked for acknowledgement from her before any step was taken. Stripper #1 asked us if we wanted a lap dance, looked over at her and it was a "yes". Done. Then she came back and asked if we wanted another, looked at my wife and it was a "yes". Back room? Look was "no". Then my wife asks me to pick the next one, so I picked one that I knew was my wife's type. We got a lap dance, then got the question if we wanted to go to the back. Stripper #2 was a lot freakier than the last one, I looked at my wife, her face said "yes yes yes". I knew it was a ripoff, but why not.
So we get taken to the back, and this is where things escalate. They ask us if we want 15 min or 30 min. I said 15, but my wife looks at me and says 30. 30 min it is; we ended up having 3 sessions with the same "yes" nod from her. I ask her to dance on my wife and my wife asks her to dance on me. It was back and forth, and the smirk on my wife's face told me she liked it. I asked her "what's so hot about seeing your spouse with someone else?", her response was "because it is naughty". As the night went on, my wife got kindof crazy. They each had their hands down the other girl's panties, rubbing bare breasts together, and my wife bit her nippes. It was stuff that a guy would get kicked out for. I got lap dances, and rubbed my hands on her body. My wife watched with a smirk. Towards the end, the three of us were all talking about threesomes. I told the stripper that it was my wife's fantasy to have sex with other people, my wife whispered something to her and she responded with "I'm more into two guys". Then it was over and we went back to the hotel room.
My wife was very drunk, she threw up in the bathroom and passed out. She woke up the next morning, and we made love and spent the day hungover together. She told me that she blacked out at the 3rd session in the back, and asked what happened. I gave her the details, and we went on our way. Later in the day, she expressed guilt for how she acted with the stripper, I tried to reinforce that it was not a problem with me, she said she felt better.
Out of nowhere two days later, she asks me to move out. She said that I forced her to go to the strip club, I told the stripper that I wanted to sleep with her, and all the money we spent was all my fault. I am 100% sure that these things did not happen. I refused to leave and get another place so now I am sleeping nights in my car because she doesn't want me in my guest house. We've had rough patches before, but it has always been grounded in some fact that had an impact on her, therefore I had something to work on. In this case, I completely reject her memory of the facts so I don't have any starting point for a meaningful conversation to reconcile. I am stuck.
The question is, how do I approach repairing things with her? I want to keep this marriage, I just don't know how to have a conversation with her about this when I completely reject the foundation her feelings are built on. She refuses marriage counselling, so bringing a third party in to help is not an option. It's all on me.
TL/DR; wife and I go to a strip club, she did some things she regretted, now it is my fault and she wants to kick me out of our house and keep our 2 kids from me. What do I do next to fix things with her?
When we got there, I looked for acknowledgement from her before any step was taken. Stripper #1 asked us if we wanted a lap dance, looked over at her and it was a "yes". Done. Then she came back and asked if we wanted another, looked at my wife and it was a "yes". Back room? Look was "no". Then my wife asks me to pick the next one, so I picked one that I knew was my wife's type. We got a lap dance, then got the question if we wanted to go to the back. Stripper #2 was a lot freakier than the last one, I looked at my wife, her face said "yes yes yes". I knew it was a ripoff, but why not.
So we get taken to the back, and this is where things escalate. They ask us if we want 15 min or 30 min. I said 15, but my wife looks at me and says 30. 30 min it is; we ended up having 3 sessions with the same "yes" nod from her. I ask her to dance on my wife and my wife asks her to dance on me. It was back and forth, and the smirk on my wife's face told me she liked it. I asked her "what's so hot about seeing your spouse with someone else?", her response was "because it is naughty". As the night went on, my wife got kindof crazy. They each had their hands down the other girl's panties, rubbing bare breasts together, and my wife bit her nippes. It was stuff that a guy would get kicked out for. I got lap dances, and rubbed my hands on her body. My wife watched with a smirk. Towards the end, the three of us were all talking about threesomes. I told the stripper that it was my wife's fantasy to have sex with other people, my wife whispered something to her and she responded with "I'm more into two guys". Then it was over and we went back to the hotel room.
My wife was very drunk, she threw up in the bathroom and passed out. She woke up the next morning, and we made love and spent the day hungover together. She told me that she blacked out at the 3rd session in the back, and asked what happened. I gave her the details, and we went on our way. Later in the day, she expressed guilt for how she acted with the stripper, I tried to reinforce that it was not a problem with me, she said she felt better.
Out of nowhere two days later, she asks me to move out. She said that I forced her to go to the strip club, I told the stripper that I wanted to sleep with her, and all the money we spent was all my fault. I am 100% sure that these things did not happen. I refused to leave and get another place so now I am sleeping nights in my car because she doesn't want me in my guest house. We've had rough patches before, but it has always been grounded in some fact that had an impact on her, therefore I had something to work on. In this case, I completely reject her memory of the facts so I don't have any starting point for a meaningful conversation to reconcile. I am stuck.
The question is, how do I approach repairing things with her? I want to keep this marriage, I just don't know how to have a conversation with her about this when I completely reject the foundation her feelings are built on. She refuses marriage counselling, so bringing a third party in to help is not an option. It's all on me.
TL/DR; wife and I go to a strip club, she did some things she regretted, now it is my fault and she wants to kick me out of our house and keep our 2 kids from me. What do I do next to fix things with her?