It is time

The blood running thru my veins smells of paranoia. My mind races. I can feel my pulse and body temperature in my ears. A quick glance to the left reveals nothing. The sweat rolls down the side of my face like rain. I see myself picking up the weight. It is not time yet. I beg for normalcy, but then realize I am a machine. The machine is tired and old. All of the pivot points crack and squeak of rust. More deca, lubricate pivot points. Take another bite of steak. I yearn so much to break the records I set 20 years ago as a young man. Get a drink of milk. Sit back and laugh at my thoughts. I smile, I can feel it in my blood now. Yes, I am down with the sickness. They always ask why. Those who know cant explain it, those who don't cant understand it. I lost my train of thought. Trains are fast. Pick the weight up fast. One smooth motion. I must wait, it is not time. Draw the syringe. Don't waste it. Three ML, 100 mg/ml. It is still not time yet.

The travel is short. I did not take the train. It is but moments away now. The travel is short. Familiar faces I see, some of which are not known to me. The names are still a mystery. They go thru the motions each day. I smile and nod my creation of thought center. My blood is contaminated now. My pupils dilate. I grit my teeth. There is a pretty girl. I have seen her on other days, but she did not ride the train. You must have a ticket for the train. My departure has come and gone. The travel was short. I can feel the blood pumping faster. My body temperature has increased. Heart rate is rapid. Why must I do this? I will never be able to answer. They still stand from the younger years of a strong oak. Untouchable. It is almost time. The next travel is also short...

I sit down. The tren makes my breath short. I smile as the school kids stare at me. I am soaked with sweat. They can see every vein in my body. Quick glance to the right. Nothing there. Only a mirror with a machine on the other side. I ask myself why. I shake my head and stand up. They ask how much. I say 6. It is time. The travel is short, only 10 or 15 steps. I see myself doing it. I stop on the way. Problems ahead. Hands hurt. Chalk. Reminds me of a snowy day. I had drug problems. I look at my weathered hands. They are rough like an asphalt road. I pick up a piece of chalk. I line my hands with it. It is almost time. My heart races. I think of disturbing thoughts. I break it. I breath it in. The ammonia is strong. My pupils dilate. I see it. It is time.

The bar is cold and hard. The steel becomes part of me. My arms are but hangers. I kneel down and wrap my hands around the bar. I tug it. Feels good. The adrenaline is coming. It is time. I start the machine. The weight is heavy. The motor bogs down. Kick in turbo. My whole body shakes. My vision blurs. The pressure is unbearable. I feel the warmth. I taste the blood. My nose is bleeding. I must not stop. The process is repeated. More blood. I see colors and dots. It was time. The time came and went like a short winter day. I smile and wipe the blood from my face. I hear the voices. Good job, you did it. It was time. I pull the lever, the pressure releases. I throw it on the ground. I walk the same 15 steps and sit back down. It was good. The machine is not broken. The school kids are still staring. My wife comes and hugs me and offers a fresh rag. I take it and say thank you. She knows the machine is old.

They look at me again and ask how much. I say six fifty. The machine is warm. It is once again close to time. The machine is tired. It is enough. More drugs.

To be continued...........

Thats deep....romantic....did you write that?

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Dbstrawbridge7 said:

Thats deep....romantic....did you write that?

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Click to expand...

yes I did.

Very talented bro...im new here btw nice to meet ya

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welcome, did you do an intro post? throw one up with some background.

check out the rules.

Yea I just did an intro post

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powerlifting meet? Thanks for the post. Good read!

Kill kill it Roam.
That just made me want to destroy some weights

wow Roamer, quite the creative brain you have there! very good, i enjoyed that. some parts were very well thought out and articulate. thanks for the post. i want a section of these in my subforum now, I LIKE IT!

Nice, another good writer. This place needs more.

Bravo!

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That was awesome! I love stuff like that, keep it up. Writing like that takes a lot of talent! Very impressed.

I'm trying to pump myself up now...... Legs! Okay... Time to kill it!

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I knew better. I didn't want to come here again. the depths and despair. the good times the bad. I smell piss. I look around, wipe the sweat off my brow. My sweat is laced. I miss my loved ones. I have none to blame but myself. I am selfish. chop chop chop. I look around again, still nothing. where is it I have been? I have seen him before. he is meek. once big and strong. my breath is rapid. my chest pounds like that of a snare drum. I want to feel better. how did I get here? I shake my head and look at my reflection. flick flick flick. my hair is electric. need to be calm. I am nervous. I don't want to. happier days.

I turn and look in the mirror. what is left of my soul mocks me. no discipline. the shame is overwhelming. I hang my head. chop chop chop. like a tunnel. it is a fuel line. the hairs filter impurity. it is copper. I see the snow again. it is not winter. I smile. my happiness is only temporary. I tell her not to worry. she is afraid. I can see the fear in her eyes. I will not harm her. it is not me she fears. she is now confident. she will win. she takes a deep breath. the sleep will be long. in the next life she was a butterfly. she lost her wings, but flies the highest. a pilot she claims. her fear is gone. it is peaceful. she breathes easy.

the towel she handed me was cool and wet. I wipe the blood from my nose. it doesn't stop. 15 steps, it waits. it is calling my name. the ammonia is strong. I break another. She says not too much now. they say six fifty. the support is on the floor. it has a lever. it is snug. it holds my innards. I take a few steps. the familiar path is beaten. I have walked it many times. many a loser, many a champion, many just an ordinary man, but I was there, I walked it. it was time. they look at me and say six fifty. I nod my head. the chalk lines the path like fresh snow. the doubt creeps. keep that ass down. my back spasms. the weight is tremendous. seconds turn into hours, it is time.

I hear the dogs barking, the hell hounds are chasing me. what have I done? none mercy shown. her fear was warranted. I run faster. I am carrying her. she is small and fragile. her eyes read me like a book. she says they are fading. cant slow down for each breath counts. I put her in safe keeping. she smiles as always. I say thank you honey. she nods and is gone in the blink of an eye. I awake. the bar is loaded. they say six fifty. I say ok. I love the pain. I will do it again. the weight is heavy. I see colors without names and electric dots. convulsions are habitual. the machine is old. the machine is tired. she hands me a clean rag, I say thank you.
repetition is my animal. it has pride. I named him respect. it was time.

to be continued....