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protein farts?

topspeed300km

topspeed300km

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Get Shredded!
I know you bitches put down a shit load of eggs, fish, protein powder and stuff. I was at the grocery store stocking up on the usual supplies. and in the frozen meat section and I had already put down half gallon of milk, 7 eggs, 2 shakes and other foods and there was an old couple about 10 ft to the left. well, I droppd as bomb and we basically swapped places looking for items. Then I hear the old lady smack his shoulder and say " did you go in ur diaper again!?" Took everything I had to not fall out on the floor! Lets hear a funny story of when u had the protein farts at work, public, home, crop dusting etc! ITS THE PIT, LET LOOSE.
 
One day I want into work and we had out usual little game plan talk... Boss man said everyone get in close I don't want to yell... I had my protein shake and oatmeal at the house... On the way to work I grabbed some beef jerky and a rockstar. Needles to say I wasn't a good mix... I let loose in our huddle and everyone had to clear out. The boss's eyes were all watered it looked like he wanted to puke... Me and him joke around a lot and he's always farting so he looked at me and was like a right motha fucka ill get u back... Well about an hour later I'm up in a right ass spot trying to top out some drywall in a little closet... I hear my partner say what's up woody and I was like damn he's gonna stink up my closet... Well he tried so hard to rip one that he shit his pants... I made sure to let everyone know y he wet home early that day
 
Well I thought it was going to b quiet and it wasn't so I started laughing but yea I've been known for my protein farts at work whenever I drink a rockstar it cause some kind of gnarly fart bubble
 
My time to workout is first thing in the morning. And it just so happens. I am a gassy smelly basturd first thing in the morning. I enjoy watching all the badasses doing curls in the mirror right in front of the dumbbell rack. I enjoy that and walking over to the dumbbell rack. Ripping a knarley one then not even getting a dumbbell then walking away. It is part of my routine. Vicious that story was funny as hell bro. I about shit my pants reading it!
 
Mine are so bad...if im around my lady she screams at me "I fucking hate you! We are broke up!" I just grin every time. Not much to say about it. Her nose is really sensitive. Its even funnier when shes asleep at night. Ill hold it in the covers just to test potency and see how long it takes for it to creep out and wake her up! un-fucking-believeable
 
I've always heard about these. Never had them myself, and I put down 200-250g protein per day usually. How much protein are you guys eating? Maybe I'm just the weird outlier here.
 
Never really had them but one time I farted while getting a hummer....never heard from her again
 
IML Gear Cream!
Just had one.I was giving my 6 year old son a bath and let on loose,my son goes Daddy you stink
 
Found out quite by accident the other day that adding just a tsp of turmeric to your chicken recipe will result in some very alarming, possible-medical-emergency aromas. This could be useful to those of you having fart wars at work. :)
 
chocolatemalt said:
Found out quite by accident the other day that adding just a tsp of turmeric to your chicken recipe will result in some very alarming, possible-medical-emergency aromas. This could be useful to those of you having fart wars at work. :)
Click to expand...

Consider that ingested...only double
 
Ate Chinese today. Then went and did cardio and abs. May have crop dusted a few people at the gym in between sets. Whoops.
 
ol' guys tell me there's a certain age after which a fart should never be trusted!

... or an erection wasted.
 
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