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Unofficial ASF Confessions Thread

Get Shredded!
My confession. I joined a gay bodybuilding forum and I can’t quit!
 
was on probation once and I had to go for a drug test. I showed up and realized I had to shit very badly and the probation officer wouldn’t let me do it there. I somehow pissed in the cup for him without shitting my pants. I ran out of the building so fast trying to find the nearest bathroom but it was 7am and nothing was open. I turned the corner by the bank at this point sweating and the turtle head poking out of my ass and I see a dude 50 yards away walking his dog towards me. I dip into the banks doorway and drop my pants and shit right in the middle of town. Make it in time before the dude past me and as I was walking away I see him pulling his dog away from the banks doorway.


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SBxAlpha said:
was on probation once and I had to go for a drug test. I showed up and realized I had to shit very badly and the probation officer wouldn’t let me do it there. I somehow pissed in the cup for him without shitting my pants. I ran out of the building so fast trying to find the nearest bathroom but it was 7am and nothing was open. I turned the corner by the bank at this point sweating and the turtle head poking out of my ass and I see a dude 50 yards away walking his dog towards me. I dip into the banks doorway and drop my pants and shit right in the middle of town. Make it in time before the dude past me and as I was walking away I see him pulling his dog away from the banks doorway.


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Lol
 
Just as an ambien pill was taking effect I took a semi tractor for a drive around the block. I only remember almost driving over my mailbox, turning out onto the main road and swinging REAL wide pulling back into the neighborhood. Wide enough that if there was a car there it would have been flattened.
 
I have never seen tropical water with my own eyes.. and I I hate when people open mouth yawn next to me when they're in my personal space.
 
I have a crush on Batman. Shh, don’t tell him.

I hate the noise people make when they eat.

I sold Porn mags on the bus as a kid and got caught.
 
Vision said:
I have never seen tropical water with my own eyes..
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You really should...just once. It's not a HUGE deal, but there's just something about the ocean man. And if you can get on the water and lose sight of land...now *that* is a big deal. Especially at night.
 
Multislacking said:
You really should...just once. It's not a HUGE deal, but there's just something about the ocean man. And if you can get on the water and lose sight of land...now *that* is a big deal. Especially at night.
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Oh, I fish in the ocean very often, trust me on that.. I live near the beach.. I just never seen tropical clear blue water like the keys and such..
 
Vision said:
Oh, I fish in the ocean very often, trust me on that.. I live near the beach.. I just never seen tropical clear blue water like the keys and such..
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I’ve never felt tropical weather or seen clear blue water either.
First time I ever felt warm ocean water was when I went to South Carolina last summer. Ocean Water near me is freezing even in August.


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A.font401 said:
I’ve never felt tropical weather or seen clear blue water either.
First time I ever felt warm ocean water was when I went to South Carolina last summer. Ocean Water near me is freezing even in August.


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LIKE WISE!!!!!!!! lol
 
IML Gear Cream!
I secretly want to get the coronavirus so i can give it to my asshole neighbor (hes 70ish) because he wont let me or my customers park in his parking lot thats butted up to my building
 
I confess.. Im no where near as juicey as u bros. But I'll catch up One day
Gotta Start somewhere.
Asf was a fine place to start. Imo

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Multislacking said:
It's been awhile since we had a good confession thread. Gear, life, quirks, what have ya got? I'll go first.

I only pin glutes, vg, and quads.

When I was young, dumb, and full of cum, I banged a chick two days before her wedding and two days after. And no, she wasn't marrying my highschool ass.
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That's horrible.
Why marry the guy?
Loose vagina on the honeymoon will get your ass fired by me.

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drealdeal said:
Brother me too. Box of ice cream samiches lol and alot other stuff.
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I go for the butterfinger ice cream waffle cones. Straight fuckin fire

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Get Shredded!
Lathe Crasher said:
I ate a bunch of acid once and took a shit in a washing machine at a laundromat.
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I don't care if it's true or just creative, but either way I laughed and that's what matters lol

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CompoundLifts31 said:
That's horrible.
Why marry the guy?
Loose vagina on the honeymoon will get your ass fired by me.

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Bwahahaha...glad those days are behind me.

Her two days before: "This is the last time we can do this."
Her two days after: "What are you doing tonight?"

Since that first post, I've started pinning delts and pecs as well. But I think I may steer clear of pecs...one of them didn't go so well...
 
Sherk said:
A couple of years ago I was dating a girl. We went through some troubled times and she tried to lie to me and say she was “visiting family in Europe for the holidays” and I found out she was actually going to Pennsylvania for the holidays to visit some guy she met on IG. I let her go, created a tinder account and fucked 6 different women in the 2 weeks she was gone. I’m also now engaged and going to marry the 7th girl I met but didn’t get to fuck. She’s the only one that my ex found out about because I posted a pic on here and she asked about it.
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Very true. I remember the 7th girls pic and she's a keeper. Also l, lucky #7 and the one that made you wait.
You're a pretty smart fella.
She must be like 5'1 or 5'2 huh?
Onto the fucking 6 girls on tinder...I've never used it; I'm a pretty good looking guy. Not trying to be cocky. I'm actually wondering how you did it? I've been in 3 long term relationships back to back to back (of course a hit a few in between)
Now, I feel like I lost my mojo. I have no problem talking with girls, but I just haven't been doing it lately. I feel like I've lost my mojo bro. I know it sounds unconfident, but it is what it is. Also, with covid going on, bars aren't open and it's def more difficult; I suppose that's why I'm trying a different avenue.

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wrekem said:
Confessions...hmm...recently a source fucked my order up and gave me wrong product, then insisted i buy them since he sent them. I wouldnt. I also told him i wouldnt mail his wrong product back as i didnt feel comfortable doing so, and simply, politely, asked if my order could be corrected, especially since he acted as if not to give two fucks about my order mishap, but only about his money and product. It twas fixed. And i was blacklisted due to my order being messed up and asking for what i correctly paid for. Dick move by me? Maybe..idk. Wanted to make a thread for his HORRIBLE business ethics and customer service. But i decided not to.

also. I paid 2 grand for a coach for the next 7 months. Yet somehow i still let cosmic brownies get the best of me. I dont tell him of course. Dick move by me? Maybe..idk

and finally. I eat all my 5 year olds snacks and replace them before he can notice. But who the fuck DOESNT

- - - Updated - - -



you handled that one correctly
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2 grand? You should've checked with Monte bro. He's way better than that and I think that although he's through the internet, he cares, is passionate, and will be better than 95% of the coaches out there for less than half of that.

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I take 20-25 grams of Kratom per day.
I use to enjoy all kinds of pain killers.
If I want a really chill rest day, I don't take any and it's also great. That would not be the case with blues I use to snort.
I've gotten my life hella on track in 2020.
I'm more dedicated to gym and diet than I've ever been and that's really starting to show. I also know 100% that the gear I'm using is properly dosed, and I must say I can feel the difference.
I am taking Proviron. I need a girlfriend.
Ok, I gotta stop before I get outta hand.

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Multislacking said:
Bwahahaha...glad those days are behind me.

Her two days before: "This is the last time we can do this."
Her two days after: "What are you doing tonight?"

Since that first post, I've started pinning delts and pecs as well. But I think I may steer clear of pecs...one of them didn't go so well...
Click to expand...
I only pin the three you've named.
Another admission is 5mL pins. Pinned 4ccs with little PIP just to try it.

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CompoundLifts31 said:
I only pin the three you've named.
Another admission is 5mL pins. Pinned 4ccs with little PIP just to try it.

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Click to expand...

Delts have been zero problems. First pec pin went great. Second pin blew up my pec twice it's size. Cool effect, but not so great when it was red and painful as hell. Never had any fever, so I don't think there was infection. But it has made me damn leary of doing it again. :nope:
 
heavyiron said:
I eat very clean starting out everyday and about 6 PM after dinner I consume somewhere around 2,000 junk calories 4-5 days per week. LOL
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I thought this was normal lol
 
DannySteezy said:
This one is pretty fucked might land me a spot in hell, my younger cousins birthday was approaching she loved candy, so they had set up a candy table for everyone to enjoy. Their was jolly ranchers, and gumballs, sour patch kids etc, i got the idea of buying a 5lb bag of sugar free gummy bears and swapping them out for the ones my aunt bought. The sugar free alternative causes a laxative effect if eaten too much around 20 gummies was enough for a grown man let alone a kid. i sat back and watched them gobble them up, while i ate the ones that where normal. within 1 hour all 3 bathrooms where fucked and kids began to poo some adults got caught in the cross fire. They all blamed it on the food and not the candy. Till this day no one knows except for me.
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Honestly you sound like a piece of shit. If there’s one thing people should be strung up and tortured until they bleed out for it’s messing with kids. Idk about hell but I hope you get an infection from a bad shot and lose a leg
 
Vision said:
I have never seen tropical water with my own eyes.. and I I hate when people open mouth yawn next to me when they're in my personal space.
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I’m jealous because I want to see it for the first time again. Fly into ft lauderdale rent a car and drive to key west. Visual sensory overload.. one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen


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