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The return of cheeks; rant; motivation loss

glutiusflatosis

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Get Shredded!
Fuck. I haven’t been here in so long. I really don’t know where to start. If you don’t remember my old account S.Cheeks than for shits and giggles I’ll re introduce myself. I fell in love with bodybuilding on my deployment in 2009. Lifting weight that boys couldn’t lift gave me such a sense of control and power in a world I felt powerless in. After the death of my son in 2012 I took a turn for a while. After a few months of extreme self destructive behavior I finally cared enough about myself to make a change. When I met my husband, lokthan, I knew that my self love journey was going only up from there. But then, we had a child unexpectedly after some relationship issues and it plummeted me into an anxiety filled depression. Somewhere along the line my brain started deciding what was and was not important enough to allocate time and thought too. I NEVER make the cut. The gym used to be such a high for me. Even on the days I dreaded the gym, I left feeling like a fucking super hero. Last year I finally decided to have my old hernia rechecked since it had been hurting. Sure as shit it was re-torn and I found out my Lyme disease I didn’t know I had was helping it hurt worse. Us having little to no support, we had no choice but for me to be up on my feet with our kiddo the next day while lok had school. Same goes for when he had his surgery. Since then, I’ve lost all motivation. I went to and graduated from esthetician’s school, with honors, which is wonderful but it was such a struggle. Doing anything for anyone else is so easy and yet I struggle to remember to eat or drink water. I want to care about myself and I always get distracted with thoughts of things I NEED to accomplish to make someone else happy. I have no clue where to start in the gym at this point and honestly have the desire to go but my motivation continues to be shit all over by me. I haven’t done really much of any working out in over a year and my body is so tight and pissed off that stretching is a god damn workout. Starting all the way back at ground zero is really demoralizing. I want this though. Not to just to impress my husband or to look sexy. But to just actually give a shit about me again and feel strong, that’s the goal. Anyone that made it this far through thank you. After experiencing death so many times without dealing with it; I guess I’m just having an existential crisis and I’m not handling it well. I know this forum isn’t typically for this type of rant but I figured if I was likely to find anyone that can relate, it’d be on here.




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Welcome back S Cheeks. I remember you. You have to start somewhere because the weights ain’t gonna lift themselves. You’ll rebound fast
 
Welcome back !! Sorry to hear about the struggles you been going through but it will get better, i know how hard it is sometimes to fit yourself into the schedule but without doing that you will not be able to be there for the ones you care about so just keep pushing forward and the fact that your here just shows that your going to be ok !!
NEVER QUIT !!!


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Keep your head up. Keep pushing forward. Life can be brutal, no doubt, but you can gain control of it. You just gotta keep moving forward. One day at a time, focus on what you do have to be grateful for. Moment to moment kiddo.

you got this 😀
 
Welcome back. Pretty sure most of us understand and deal with motivation issues from time to time. That's why we end up calling it "the grind".
 
I remember a couple weeks ago when I found your old lifting journal and I was like dam man this chick was slaying it every workout.

I know you have that ember in you waiting for a little bit of air to be blown on it so it can burst. We all support you in your fitness journey girl


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IML Gear Cream!
Fuckin A, of course we remember you! Glad to see you back here!

It's time to start putting in the work and getting the shit done you want to accomplish. I will say, it makes it much easier when your spouse does it with you, so you do have that advantage. When the other one feels like going off diet or drinking, not going to the gym, or whatever, the other one needs to pull you back up again so you can both move forward together. You guys got it.

Let me know of there's anything I can help you guys with. Glad to see you back!
 
Also, you'll find that you're not actually"starting over" per se. It'll come back to you much faster this time as long as you keep your diet straight and put in the work. We've all had our setbacks, some greater than others. But we're all here with the same goals to improve ourselves. This place can really help keep you moving forward
 
Welcome back to the forum!
 
Not sure who you are or what forum your from but, Hey! Welcome to ASF !
 
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Welcome back cheeks I hope you got everything worked out in your life
 
Holy shit, I missed this place. Y’all motivated me to get my fuck ass back into the gym. Pretty sure I died a bit and the soreness today is unreal. But I feel a lot better. Thanks for the warm welcome back! Cheeks is getting ready to start up a log, stay tuned


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