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  1. #361
    THE GROWTH CLINIC

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    Quote Originally Posted by Multislacking View Post
    Lmao
    At the kitty cave

  2. #362
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  3. #363
    THE GROWTH CLINIC

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    Boom

  4. #364
    THE GROWTH CLINIC

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    Slap

  5. #365
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  6. #366
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  7. #367
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    What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? I'm glad you asked...

    12:05 pm: It's time. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR and you don't want to be a pussy in front of your older brother's friends.

    It's suppose to be grape flavored but it's becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team that day has never actually tasted anything grape in their life. You are already regretting this decision.

    12:06 pm: You deep throat a cupcake like you've been saving it for the apocalypse because let's face it...that time is here. It's going to turn to liquid form before it even clears your throat but you don't care. All is right in the world at this moment. Hold on to that. You're about to enter a very dark period in your life.

    12:37 pm: First sign of life. The pressure is growing. You already have 5 lbs of impacted shit in your colon and you basically just drank the "safe for humans" version of Drano. You feel a poop coming on finally. You think it's time. You're wrong. You get a little snake turd as a teaser.

    Take note...this is the last semi-solid thing you will see leaving your body for the next 24 hours.

    12:57 pm: That little science experiment you got cooking is about to reach it's boiling point. Your stomach is angry now. It hates you...you can feel it. You have exactly .3 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet but you can't run... NEVER run! You pray to god there is enough elasticity in your butthole to keep the gates closed 5 more steps as you start to preemptively undo your pants to save valuable time. Almost there. 3...2...1...

    12:58 pm: Sweet Mary, mother of God...is this real life? Your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose. The shit/ water mixture you've just created comes out with such force that it actually sprays the back of the toilet bowl at a 45 degree angle thus deflecting it in every direction but down.

    Is that blood?

    False alarm.

    That's just the remnants of a cherry pie you ate at Thanksgiving...when you were 5. The smell is horrid...the sound is frightening. You try to clench whats left of your asshole to soften the blow but it's not working. The whole house just heard your liquid shit fart as it gurgled out of your ass.

    1:06 pm- 8:30 pm: Everything's a blur. You have shit out everything you have ever eaten since the day you were born, everything your ancestors have ever eaten since the early 1800's, and your asshole now feels like you have a flaming hot Cheeto and the tears of a thousand Jalapeno seeds stuck in it.

    You're now curled up in the bathtub ugly crying because you have to remain within arm's reach of the toilet at all times. You have the poop sweats.

    You meet Jesus.

    8:37 pm: Your family will never be able to unsee the things they've seen in the last 8 hours.

    You're broken.

    Your asshole's broken.

    Your spirit's broken.

    Life as you know it will never be the same. But...tomorrow's a new day. You're going to wake up, throw on the only remaining pair of underwear you have that doesn't have a shit stain on it, and you're going to run up to Target with the last shred of dignity you have left...and buy yourself a new toilet brush. You've earned it.

    -unknown

    Sent from my FDA work phone

  8. #368
    Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poirot View Post
    What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? I'm glad you asked...

    12:05 pm: It's time. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR and you don't want to be a pussy in front of your older brother's friends.

    It's suppose to be grape flavored but it's becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team that day has never actually tasted anything grape in their life. You are already regretting this decision.

    12:06 pm: You deep throat a cupcake like you've been saving it for the apocalypse because let's face it...that time is here. It's going to turn to liquid form before it even clears your throat but you don't care. All is right in the world at this moment. Hold on to that. You're about to enter a very dark period in your life.

    12:37 pm: First sign of life. The pressure is growing. You already have 5 lbs of impacted shit in your colon and you basically just drank the "safe for humans" version of Drano. You feel a poop coming on finally. You think it's time. You're wrong. You get a little snake turd as a teaser.

    Take note...this is the last semi-solid thing you will see leaving your body for the next 24 hours.

    12:57 pm: That little science experiment you got cooking is about to reach it's boiling point. Your stomach is angry now. It hates you...you can feel it. You have exactly .3 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet but you can't run... NEVER run! You pray to god there is enough elasticity in your butthole to keep the gates closed 5 more steps as you start to preemptively undo your pants to save valuable time. Almost there. 3...2...1...

    12:58 pm: Sweet Mary, mother of God...is this real life? Your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose. The shit/ water mixture you've just created comes out with such force that it actually sprays the back of the toilet bowl at a 45 degree angle thus deflecting it in every direction but down.

    Is that blood?

    False alarm.

    That's just the remnants of a cherry pie you ate at Thanksgiving...when you were 5. The smell is horrid...the sound is frightening. You try to clench whats left of your asshole to soften the blow but it's not working. The whole house just heard your liquid shit fart as it gurgled out of your ass.

    1:06 pm- 8:30 pm: Everything's a blur. You have shit out everything you have ever eaten since the day you were born, everything your ancestors have ever eaten since the early 1800's, and your asshole now feels like you have a flaming hot Cheeto and the tears of a thousand Jalapeno seeds stuck in it.

    You're now curled up in the bathtub ugly crying because you have to remain within arm's reach of the toilet at all times. You have the poop sweats.

    You meet Jesus.

    8:37 pm: Your family will never be able to unsee the things they've seen in the last 8 hours.

    You're broken.

    Your asshole's broken.

    Your spirit's broken.

    Life as you know it will never be the same. But...tomorrow's a new day. You're going to wake up, throw on the only remaining pair of underwear you have that doesn't have a shit stain on it, and you're going to run up to Target with the last shred of dignity you have left...and buy yourself a new toilet brush. You've earned it.

    -unknown

    Sent from my FDA work phone
    Lol.

    That's like having colitis basically

  9. #369
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    LMAO!

    Yikes... is that the pregame for colonoscopy?

  10. #370
    IM>ASF

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    just after 6 minutes someone turned on the conveyor for a second and they all lose their shit. I would be laughing my ass off right then


  11. #371
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    Quote Originally Posted by heckler7 View Post
    just after 6 minutes someone turned on the conveyor for a second and they all lose their shit. I would be laughing my ass off right then

    haha fucking vegans ... such scrawny pussies .. ida chopped em up...

    i eat little pieces of shit like them for breakfast

  12. #372
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    Lolz

    Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk

  13. #373
    Swollen Member

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    Quote Originally Posted by Milford King View Post
    haha fucking vegans ... such scrawny pussies .. ida chopped em up...

    i eat little pieces of shit like them for breakfast
    Breakfast,?

    Those little fagets aren't worthy of eating on a Ritz.

    Sent from my FDA work phone

  14. #374
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    Quote Originally Posted by Montego1 View Post
    Lol.

    That's like having colitis basically
    Yeah I was about to say....that's a regular day for me.

  15. #375
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    Multislacking's Avatar


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