Dirty jokes

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  1. #1
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    Dirty jokes

    A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
    He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"
    She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston"
    He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
    Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
    "Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
    "Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"
    "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men,
    when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
    Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.
    I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
    Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.."

    "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

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    PPHHHAAAHAHHAAHHAAAA!! ;-)

    Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk 2

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    Oh shit!!! I woke my wife up I started laughing so hard.

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    Do offensive jokes go over well? Otherwise I got nothing. -_-

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    Why are black people so tall?

    Because their knee grows

    Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk 2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buddy Bucks View Post
    Why are black people so tall?

    Because their knee grows

    Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk 2
    Oldy but good one.

    Fuck it. I'll see if I get pointed.

    Guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks what he'll have.
    Guy says "I'll have a sandy."
    Bartender: "what's a sandy?"
    Guy: "it's a watered down manhattan"

    Few minutes go by. Bartender asks the guy if he needs another drink.
    Guy:" sure. But this time make it a sandy hook"
    Bartender: "what's a sandy hook?"
    Guy: " it's the same drink but its served in 22 sippy cups."

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    It's the pit you can say whatever you want lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nocode8511 View Post
    It's the pit you can say whatever you want lol
    Yeah. But dead kids......lol

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    What do u get when cross Ragity Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy????
    A little red headed bitch with a yeast infection

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    Haha I liked that last one

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    Nocode I loved that first one, my girlfriend and I were busting up laughing

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    What did the left labia say to the right?
    -we used to be tight until you let that dick get in between us!

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    Haha

    Man walks into his room holding a duck, his wife looks up and he says "this is the pig i've been fucking" his wife says but honey that's a duck.
    "I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!!"

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    How do you fit 9millions Jews in a VW?



    2 in the front, 3 in back...the rest in the ashtray...



    ohhhhh so you think that's fucked up?? Well I hope you know my GRANDFATHER DIED in a DEATH CAMP!!! Ok??? ...He fell off the Guard Tower...

    ;-)

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    Ape and a black man were astronauts sent up to space. Upon arrival they began the start up protocol, ape reaches in his pocket and pulls out a list to follow. The ape reaches up and pulls a lever, black man sees this and pulls a lever himself. Ape looks at the letter and then pushes a button. Black man sees this and pushes a button as well. Ape looks at the letter and this time the black man snatches the letter from the ape's hand and finds the last step on the ape's list read: DON'T FORGET TO FEED THE MONKEY!

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