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Wife gives you an ultimatum...what do you do?

jozifp103

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Get Shredded!
Obviously if you can't handle AAS and you let it cause issues in your relationship/family then that's one thing...


...But picture yourself in this situation:


You're in your mid 20's, been using AAS for a few years now. You meet your dream woman and you end up dating. You tell her early on that you're an AAS user. She doesn't love it, but you educate her and she ends up being totally fine with, and even does your glute injections for you occasionally.


Fast forward a few years. You two get married. She is still ok with your AAS use. No issues and AAS has not had any affect on your relationship.


Fast forward another year or so. You have your first child together. Everything is still fine as far as the wife, relationship, and AAS goes. Maybe you even have a second child in the next year or two...


Now you're fully invested in this woman. You're married, have 2 children, a house, the whole nine.


Now you're in your 40's, been married over 10 years, kids are teenagers. Everything's still good with the AAS. Money's fine, kids are fine, life is good. By now you've built an incredible physique for yourself and even plan to compete.


The one day your wife asks you; "When do you plan on stopping the steroids?" You answer with; "Not anytime soon, why? I thought you were fine with it?" She says; "I was but I didn't think you'd be using them this long." You reply "It's not a phase honey, it's a lifestyle and I plan to continue this lifestyle as long as I am physically able."


Now she's upset and gives you an ultimatum. "Well I didn't think you were going to still be using them at this point. And now it's time to stop because you're a grown man with kids." Then she drops the old cliche; "It's me and the kids, or the steroids. You choose."


How would you handle this guys? She agreed to marry you knowing you were an AAS user. You've made so much progress and it's brought you so much joy over the years. It has become a huge part of who you are. It has caused no issues in your life/relationship/family whatsoever...and now your wife decides now you're done?


How would you handle this?
 
Minus the kids part. I’m in a similar boat but still in my late 30’s. If I had a good answer I’d be a far freakier athlete.

I’m hoping to get on TRT soon-ish and ‘Trojan Horse’ some other gear in the syringe then and again.
 
I had a similar problem with my ex wife. The steroids Weren’t the only issue, and I would think they are not for you… it’s just something she can label as wrong, there are deeper issues at play I can almost guarantee. Maybe some couples therapy, see if y’all can find out the real problem.

I went through hell with the ex, found out in the long way about, when a woman is done, she’s done
 
I had a similar problem with my ex wife. The steroids Weren’t the only issue, and I would think they are not for you… it’s just something she can label as wrong, there are deeper issues at play I can almost guarantee. Maybe some couples therapy, see if y’all can find out the real problem.

I went through hell with the ex, found out in the long way about, when a woman is done, she’s done

Very true bro.

By the time they tell you they are done, it’s over.
 
Goto the doctor and get a prescription for TRT and let her know that its medically nessarry because she could eventually use it against you in court if god forbid it ever went that far also drop an ultimatum on her about something that she does and ask her if she feels an ultimatum like that is fair after all these years without any issues.

I recently had this talk with my wife no ultimatum she just said no more I told her that's not fair to one day just tell me sorry your hobby has to end. I don't really have anything else I don't need gear but I definitely want gear. I feel your pain brother because its still a hot button issue in my house especially because im about to start cruising again will see what happens but that's just not fair on her part in my opinion brother.

I wish you both the best
 
Obviously if you can't handle AAS and you let it cause issues in your relationship/family then that's one thing...


...But picture yourself in this situation:


You're in your mid 20's, been using AAS for a few years now. You meet your dream woman and you end up dating. You tell her early on that you're an AAS user. She doesn't love it, but you educate her and she ends up being totally fine with, and even does your glute injections for you occasionally.


Fast forward a few years. You two get married. She is still ok with your AAS use. No issues and AAS has not had any affect on your relationship.


Fast forward another year or so. You have your first child together. Everything is still fine as far as the wife, relationship, and AAS goes. Maybe you even have a second child in the next year or two...


Now you're fully invested in this woman. You're married, have 2 children, a house, the whole nine.


Now you're in your 40's, been married over 10 years, kids are teenagers. Everything's still good with the AAS. Money's fine, kids are fine, life is good. By now you've built an incredible physique for yourself and even plan to compete.


The one day your wife asks you; "When do you plan on stopping the steroids?" You answer with; "Not anytime soon, why? I thought you were fine with it?" She says; "I was but I didn't think you'd be using them this long." You reply "It's not a phase honey, it's a lifestyle and I plan to continue this lifestyle as long as I am physically able."


Now she's upset and gives you an ultimatum. "Well I didn't think you were going to still be using them at this point. And now it's time to stop because you're a grown man with kids." Then she drops the old cliche; "It's me and the kids, or the steroids. You choose."


How would you handle this guys? She agreed to marry you knowing you were an AAS user. You've made so much progress and it's brought you so much joy over the years. It has become a huge part of who you are. It has caused no issues in your life/relationship/family whatsoever...and now your wife decides now you're done?


How would you handle this?

I would try for a compromise or happy medium.

On the one hand, if you stop then you will resent her and be unhappy... why would either of you want that??

But your kids and your responsibilities to them are paramount. And should come before gear.

I would choose my children and she would get what comes with it.

IMO no one should be given an ultimatum. She isn’t your warden and you aren’t a parolee.

One has to question her motives. Maybe it’s rooted in love and her fear that something will happen to your health. Idk.

Glad I am not in that situation.
 
Gear would be gone. I almost lost them once. Not because of gear but other shit. Won't happen again. Luckily my wife takes it too so...maybe pin her with some while she's sleeping and take her for a drug test then there's proof you aren't the only one on gear. Can't use that in court and you guys will like the big clit.

In all seriousness tho is it really the gear or is it the time you spend at the gym? Does she work out with you? Does she think it's a waste of time to work out? There has to be more to it.
 
Wow, a lot of good answers already.

First and foremost, this is yet another opportunity for me to remind you guys:
DON'T TELL THE WIFE/GF ABOUT GEAR USE!

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "she's ok with it, she even gives me injections, blah, blah" and then when shit hits the fan about OTHER things...guess what gets brought up? That's right, you're an illegal drug using, needle injecting, junkie with roid rage issues. YOU ALREADY KNOW WOMEN WILL THROW SHIT IN YOUR FACE THAT HAPPENED YEARS AGO AND HAS ABSOLUTELY NO BEARING ON YOUR CURRENT ARGUMENT. Why give her more ammunition to use?

As has already been said...it's NOT the gear at issue. It's something else and you need to figure out what that is. Couples therapy, whatever. It "might" be that you are maintaining good shape and she has started to notice her own appearance isn't what it used to be. Insecurity kicks in and now she's worried about you cheating. Do NOT be a dumbass and tell her that is what you suspect. Unless you want to fire up the argument again. There's a good chance she's just sick of the lifestyle you are living...the diet where you aren't eating what they eat, the time you are spending in the gym (instead of giving her attention), etc, etc. She's not wanting you to give up the gear, she's wanting you to give up the lifestyle. Tell her you've quit the gear and continue the lifestyle and see if I'm wrong.

Best of luck to you or your client.
 
My girl has known the entire time we been together . Almost 10 years . She met me in a gym when I was still working as a trainer so she knew what she was getting herself into . She has given me injections In the past but that was all years ago . Now she doesn’t give a shit what I do . She just wants to know what I’m using in case of an emergency that’s all. Plus it’s not like it’s something that’s even talked about . When I inject most of the time she’s sleeping any way. Doesn’t see any of my stuff . I have kids so I am extremely carful with it and disposing of the needles properly.
 
IML Gear Cream!
My wife has been with me since we were teenagers so she’s always been fully aware of my AAS use. When I was competing she never had an issue with it because she understood it was a necessary evil. Plus I was surrounded by handlers that we both trusted and we hoped they had my best interests at heart. I will say however now that I’m retired she has started to throw it up in my face quite often these days. She always knew I had “issues” upstairs but now everytime we have a disagreement or I loose my temper she automatically blames it on the steroid use. No matter where we are or what we are doing now it’s always the steroids made me do it. I agree 100% that there’s a bigger issue at play. I’ve noticed the more we grow apart the more problems she has with AAS. I have no doubt if we end up in divorce court the steroid use will be first and foremost in her testimony about how crazy I supposedly am and how she’s in constant fear of her life due to me using steroids. Meanwhile I’ve never even so much as bumped her in a physical manner. I’m not sure how I could have kept it a secret all these years but in hindsight I probably should have tried. Live and learn.

Backhoe + hole + wife = No more problems. Just saying
 
I see this all the time in my clients.

So what we do is get them "HRT". And then they present the wife with the new "medical" necessity.

"Honey, this is about my health. You do want me to be proactive about my health, right?"

And when they resist, this is what I have directed them to say:

"Oh you don't want me using male hormones that my body no longer produces because you don't think they are safe? Fine, you are right and I agree. Then I guess you will have to get off Birth Control. That too is a female hormone naturally produced in the body, so I guess if I can't do my legal HRT to maintain my health, then likewise you cannot use your birth control pills since Synthetic Hormones are so "dangerous" in your opinion."
 
If my wife would give up Starbucks then I’d give up the sauce if this ever became a issue . There’s no way in hell she’s doing that . My wife and I have been together since high school off and on . She’s seen my recreational drug phases and drinking years . The juice is a god send to her . It’s weird how we trade vices . I think we are both happier with the steroids opposed to the other shit. The hours in the gym is what irritates mine the most, but she tries to hold it together . Our real issue is when she decides to start her squats right after I get all geared up for some barbell work. GTFO the way woman
 
If my wife would give up Starbucks then I’d give up the sauce if this ever became a issue . There’s no way in hell she’s doing that .

This also applies for us....
 
My wife has been with me since we were teenagers so she’s always been fully aware of my AAS use. When I was competing she never had an issue with it because she understood it was a necessary evil. Plus I was surrounded by handlers that we both trusted and we hoped they had my best interests at heart. I will say however now that I’m retired she has started to throw it up in my face quite often these days. She always knew I had “issues” upstairs but now everytime we have a disagreement or I loose my temper she automatically blames it on the steroid use. No matter where we are or what we are doing now it’s always the steroids made me do it. I agree 100% that there’s a bigger issue at play. I’ve noticed the more we grow apart the more problems she has with AAS. I have no doubt if we end up in divorce court the steroid use will be first and foremost in her testimony about how crazy I supposedly am and how she’s in constant fear of her life due to me using steroids. Meanwhile I’ve never even so much as bumped her in a physical manner. I’m not sure how I could have kept it a secret all these years but in hindsight I probably should have tried. Live and learn.

Backhoe + hole + wife = No more problems. Just saying
Did your steroids make her sleep with your cousin?

Wait is it still too soon?
 
Hire a private eye. Sounds like she feels guilty for something… follow her in secret and find out what her problem really is. She wants this argument to be the “reason” she’s walking out. I suspect another reason….

😉 😉
 
Yep, steroids aren’t the problem. It is deflection from something else going on with her.

Like she’s really going to just leave because a single, somewhat innocuous thing. Pullleeeez.

Women love you earning that money. Single momming sucks.
 
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Hire a private eye. Sounds like she feels guilty for something… follow her in secret and find out what her problem really is. She wants this argument to be the “reason” she’s walking out. I suspect another reason….

 

Fuck the private eye, go to staples and spend 50 bucks on a voice recorder, put it under her car seat, you will know everything within a week, I pray that you only hear about shoe shopping and work sucks because when I say you will know everything in a week, sheeeet, you will know more than you want too...:coffee:
 
Get Shredded!
My girl has known the entire time we been together . Almost 10 years . She met me in a gym when I was still working as a trainer so she knew what she was getting herself into . She has given me injections In the past but that was all years ago . Now she doesn’t give a shit what I do . She just wants to know what I’m using in case of an emergency that’s all. Plus it’s not like it’s something that’s even talked about . When I inject most of the time she’s sleeping any way. Doesn’t see any of my stuff . I have kids so I am extremely carful with it and disposing of the needles properly.

Ya my wife is really cool about me and the gear, and any other illegal thing I’ve ever done for that matter… she’s no angel as you guys all know.

I do worry about what multi mentions about her possibly using it as ammunition In a nasty fight down the road… but in that event I’ve got some shit on her to so I can fight dirty as well….

I hid it for the first half my cycle then once I threw the ace into it for the last ten weeks and had to pin eod the hassle of hiding it just became too much of an inconvenience for me. Now she hits my glutes and it’s a lot easier. She doesn’t pry or ask questions either just says she hopes I’m being safe. And I keep all my shit locked up in a safe that she will never know the code for…..
 
Option 1:
I would assume to say shes worried about your health. What if you went to a doctor with her and proved that your completely healthy and show her that the AAS are not making you unhealthy.

Option 2:
Get off and go on TRT from a doctor and show her its prescribed. When shes ok with that blast without her knowing.

Option 3:
Give up the AAS

Option 4:
Give up the Wife lol
 
Option 1:
I would assume to say shes worried about your health. What if you went to a doctor with her and proved that your completely healthy and show her that the AAS are not making you unhealthy.

Option 2:
Get off and go on TRT from a doctor and show her its prescribed. When shes ok with that blast without her knowing.

Option 3:
Give up the AAS

Option 4:
Give up the Wife lol

He could also just completely play her. Tell her he’s off the shit completely and find another place to keep them and pin. Maybe a buddies house, rent a storage unit or something….
 
Here's what I would do.

Me to wife: Take a look around you. This is a pretty good situation: 2 kids, nice home, good job. You have most of what you want in life. The future looks pretty good compared to most people. You got what you bargained for with me and it's worked out pretty good. I am not going to stop using and it probably isn't even possible. Now you have to decide if you want to fuck up the kids, cut this whole situation in half and exist in hateful turmoil for the next 5 years or however long it takes to reach something even close to approaching what you have now, although with kids that are life long affected by the break-up. Now that's your decision if you want to cause that havoc in 4 lives. Now, I am in my 40s and I'm healthy and strong and get shit done. As I age I will probably decrease use as my body wears from the gym and responsibilities and goals shift. But I will never stop using at least test because at this point that move would be unhealthy and I would become a shell of a man, something I will not do as some sacrifice to your purity god. You didn't marry Jesus Christ and I'm pretty sure he died a virgin.
 
Wow, a lot of good answers already.

First and foremost, this is yet another opportunity for me to remind you guys:
DON'T TELL THE WIFE/GF ABOUT GEAR USE!

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "she's ok with it, she even gives me injections, blah, blah" and then when shit hits the fan about OTHER things...guess what gets brought up? That's right, you're an illegal drug using, needle injecting, junkie with roid rage issues. YOU ALREADY KNOW WOMEN WILL THROW SHIT IN YOUR FACE THAT HAPPENED YEARS AGO AND HAS ABSOLUTELY NO BEARING ON YOUR CURRENT ARGUMENT. Why give her more ammunition to use?

As has already been said...it's NOT the gear at issue. It's something else and you need to figure out what that is. Couples therapy, whatever. It "might" be that you are maintaining good shape and she has started to notice her own appearance isn't what it used to be. Insecurity kicks in and now she's worried about you cheating. Do NOT be a dumbass and tell her that is what you suspect. Unless you want to fire up the argument again. There's a good chance she's just sick of the lifestyle you are living...the diet where you aren't eating what they eat, the time you are spending in the gym (instead of giving her attention), etc, etc. She's not wanting you to give up the gear, she's wanting you to give up the lifestyle. Tell her you've quit the gear and continue the lifestyle and see if I'm wrong.

Best of luck to you or your client.

I agree with this and ultimatums are very bad in a relationship albeit marriage.

And whoever said that women arent happy unless there is turmoil is also correct for MOST women. Not this one though LOL

I cant speak in behalf of women because well, I was raised around men, most of my best friends are men and I hate most women LMAO

I dont see any harm to any relationship/marriage if you are using gear unless it drastically alters your personality, if you were an ass before that's fine but if you become an object throwing maniac and I have to worry about you coming at me, yeah no. Reason #2 if it prohibits our sex life and child making abilities. There definitely is something else going on, you just dont come out of left field when you were ok with it & give your husband an ultimatum like that. Something stinks.
 
Here's what I would do.

Me to wife: Take a look around you. This is a pretty good situation: 2 kids, nice home, good job. You have most of what you want in life. The future looks pretty good compared to most people. You got what you bargained for with me and it's worked out pretty good. I am not going to stop using and it probably isn't even possible. Now you have to decide if you want to fuck up the kids, cut this whole situation in half and exist in hateful turmoil for the next 5 years or however long it takes to reach something even close to approaching what you have now, although with kids that are life long affected by the break-up. Now that's your decision if you want to cause that havoc in 4 lives. Now, I am in my 40s and I'm healthy and strong and get shit done. As I age I will probably decrease use as my body wears from the gym and responsibilities and goals shift. But I will never stop using at least test because at this point that move would be unhealthy and I would become a shell of a man, something I will not do as some sacrifice to your purity god. You didn't marry Jesus Christ and I'm pretty sure he died a virgin.
Perfect!

Because we know women love logic and reason. Lol!
 
I have a lot of female friends. Because we are friends they share with me real thoughts and all their other things that most men would never imagine women think about. Some of my friends are nastier than any of my dude friends…even the sailors.

When I was in my first relationship, as in cohabitation, my GF started with the accusations of infidelity, even though she KNEW i had no interest in anyone else. My beach going buddy, a girl, said to me words that eventually proved true.
”If they are accusing you of it, they’re doing it.”

That’s advice from a 19yo about my 19yo GF.

Since then, if this thing starts up again, I always look closely at the GF/wife.
 
I used to be a Fuckin drunk years ago. My wife gave me a choice long time ago. Her or the booze . To this day I no longer drink and I am a bartender lol . No desire what so ever to drink booze . Her decision to do this was bc of all the trouble I got into among tons of other dumb shit i was doing at the time . But we grew passed that shit .
 
Wow she's a real peach...as in rotten! Any woman that ultimatums the kids is playing hardball with you, and wants your nuts in her control! One thing to say it's me or the AAS, but when she plays the kids card, she is out and waving bye bye! As stated above, something else is pushing this! Been down this road with that Kids play and in the end you will lose no matter the choice, because she will play it everytime she wants you to kneel! You better be ready to fight her on this or she will take the kids and everything you got!
 
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