Some Days I Just RUN

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  1. #1
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    Some Days I Just RUN

    Yeah Today's one of those days..

    Was at the H.... Tuesday..just stuff C brings with it..
    Caught my girl putting some drinks back to back.. Fuck
    Reality sucks..and there are more and more days I just start running..

    I get lost in what's the right thing to do.. lost in what's the Right thing to say..just lost I guess..
    I need the Iron but I need rest..Fuck I need better odds..better than 50%..which I may need even get to..

    Can't stop with all the negative crap piles..having to apologise more and more..sure it's all BS..so tired of this bed,no time for that because this will be my home soon..

    Gabriel is hurting.. I'm thinking he's got arthritis,but he stays by my side every hr..of every day..
    He has to pass before me,he would've be destroyed without me..And I'll suffer for him..

    No I'm Never throwing in the towel..BUT....Peace would be nice...I figured it out.. You're ready when you can no longer cause pain..Boy my girl has seen far too much..Shes so scared...How do I fix...that??

    Well,I never pray for myself anymore...but you guys have prayed enough for me..pray for the one's I will cause more pain as this Battle continues..In this fight...there are No winners just loose ends,lives and memories...

  2. #2
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    Run forest run

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    It's hard for a person not to be selfish in your situation (and you're not). It's hard to remember our loved ones are going to have good days and bad days too. They are going to have to continue on after we are gone. It is hard to be strong for someone else when you are the one who is sick. There are going to be times when people are at a loss for words or what to do. And it's not that they don't love you or care, they just can't process their own emotions. It paralyzes them. So they don't do anything at all.

    All anyone can do is the next right thing. If you don't know what that is, tell her you don't know and hold her. Keep communication open and if you sense she needs some space to process things, ask her if that is what she needs. The two biggest things for our loved ones are fear and guilt. Fear of the future, being alone, etc. Guilt for what did/didn't happen in the past...guilt for just still being alive.

    Does she have plans for worst case scenario? I know it is morbid...and she may not be in a good place mentally to do deal with it a the moment. But some of those negative emotions can be fixed with a simple game plan. Here's is what happens...here is what needs done...here is who takes care of this...etc. I'm sure you have a good idea of your plans, but does she? Try to keep it short and simple and it may not be so overwhelming for her.

  4. #4
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    Thanks Multi
    I needed to hear just that..it is so confusing at times..I see how just a routine stop at the ER turns her life upside down..so the reality is it's going to be absolute Hell for her in the near future..and I really doubt I'll be in a good place to comfort her..even her me..

    I've been trying to juggle everything..planning stuff.. arranging this and that..hoping friends do what they say they will..

    I just get lost sometimes..not sure I'm doing the right damn thing..maybe they should write a book..
    Dying from C for dummies..

    Thank You my friend..Again

    To all of you..

  5. #5
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    Bro if I run parts are gonna fall off me. Iíve got so much metal in my body Iím worth more at scrap value.
    Youíre an inspiration brother.

  6. #6
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    Stay strong bro
    Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.


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    I think I remember you saying you were an Appalachian man. Just found this guys music and itís pretty damn good.

    keep your head up bro, weíre all playing the same game. Let us know if thereís anything we can do to lend a hand.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by tommygunz View Post
    Bro if I run parts are gonna fall off me. Iíve got so much metal in my body Iím worth more at scrap value.
    Youíre an inspiration brother.
    My Brother TG...
    You are PRICELESS here..

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    Multi said the best and really the only thing u can do brother and that is "the next right thing". The only problem is figuring out exactly what that is. Looks like to me- right now it's love ur doggie and love ur girl- because God knows they love u bro! And it's like I told u before- "don't let the sound of ur own wheels drive u crazy" There's an old saying-"An addict alone is in bad company" (Don't know whether ur an addict or not, but u catch my drift) As always- praying for u my friend-HR

  10. #10
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    You're the Best
    Even if you didn't call..HR..
    Tell your daughter there's no better gift than praying for someone you've never met..You have done a great job being a real parent,in these days that's just nearly impossible..Even a better job lifting up a fellow brother..

    No go shave that chest...already

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    Quote Originally Posted by zionoir626 View Post
    My Brother TG...
    You are PRICELESS here..
    Nice of you to say. I'm kinda over a lot of things as of late.
    I'll hang around here with the rest of the old folks lol.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by tommygunz View Post
    Nice of you to say. I'm kinda over a lot of things as of late.
    I'll hang around here with the rest of the old folks lol.
    Who you calling old..?

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    Quote Originally Posted by zionoir626 View Post
    Yeah Today's one of those days..

    Was at the H.... Tuesday..just stuff C brings with it..
    Caught my girl putting some drinks back to back.. Fuck
    Reality sucks..and there are more and more days I just start running..

    I get lost in what's the right thing to do.. lost in what's the Right thing to say..just lost I guess..
    I need the Iron but I need rest..Fuck I need better odds..better than 50%..which I may need even get to..

    Can't stop with all the negative crap piles..having to apologise more and more..sure it's all BS..so tired of this bed,no time for that because this will be my home soon..

    Gabriel is hurting.. I'm thinking he's got arthritis,but he stays by my side every hr..of every day..
    He has to pass before me,he would've be destroyed without me..And I'll suffer for him..

    No I'm Never throwing in the towel..BUT....Peace would be nice...I figured it out.. You're ready when you can no longer cause pain..Boy my girl has seen far too much..Shes so scared...How do I fix...that??

    Well,I never pray for myself anymore...but you guys have prayed enough for me..pray for the one's I will cause more pain as this Battle continues..In this fight...there are No winners just loose ends,lives and memories...
    Brother you are a fighter! Keep that shit going. My father fought the good fight for years and ill tell you something the moment he told us he was done fighting. ( His exact words) Im done fighting.

    That was when it all went done hill FAST.

    So please i know you are tired and worried for others but do me a favor and dont stop fighting yet! Its not over bro.

    Yo my inbox is always here for YOU to Vent toÖ. I mean that.

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