the pressure of having your shit together

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    the pressure of having your shit together

    sometimes things get tough, I feel like people think I got everything under control but it feels like its a moment away from all unravelling into a huge train wreck. work family friends and side ventures almost always on the edge of calamity. I often think it must be nice that I can be here for you but where the fuck are you when I need you. I dont know if its this state or if people in general get their hands extended ready to take never give. I guess the most disappointing thing I experienced was helping a friend thru almost every stage of their life, fixed his car and let him live with me for free for a year, he burned me at work I had to fire him, I know he feels like I'm the asshole but fuck dude I covered and made excuses to save him to the point where my job is now in jeopardy. I'm pissed that he put me in that position. anyway I plenty more to rant about later

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    Been there done that I feel like I bend over backwards for everyone myself, but it never pays off. I had a friend I got started in selling weapons tried to teach him what I knew he didn't listen too much ended up doing what I told him NOT to do and he ended up getting in some deep trouble a hand full of times. He chalked it up to look how much more $ i made than you, well it cost him more in legal fees. Its hard to do things for ppl these days because most do not remember what you did for them or tried to do, if your not helping them hand and foot your a dick. You give a dog some scraps it'll keep showing up at your door step begging and crying best comparison I can give ppl are shallow or just lazy in general these days noone wants to work for shit they just want it handed to them. Had to fire some friends of mine when I had a storefront fuckn lazy thieving asshats.

  3. #3
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    Get out of California. Round here..... I help my neighbors and my neighbors help me. Seriously.... local community is everything.

    my neighbors and my family are 100% on the same page. I mow the ones yard and plow her driveway out and she cooks me dinners (a lot) and the other neighbor I helped put a drywell in and drained the excess water so his basement would stop flooding and he put together a huge charity for my daughter when she got sick and he taught me how to use a 50 cal ... and the other neighbor I help chop her wood for her in the summer so she can stay warm in the winter and she let me borrow her mower a few times and also letís me eye fuck her in her bikini when sheís out in her yard in the summer and sometime we talk shit about liberals together on her porch... I would totally love to smash it someday but.... I think she is one of those ďyouíre married and live next door with two kids so I would feel guilty for riding you like a slut every few daysĒ kind of chic.

    she canít keep a man so she must be crazy anyway

    but would totally smash

    i will get pics next summer for sure ... lol

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    Wait, you have your shit together?! Well this is news.
    Seriously though, I've seen similar things play out. Don't let it change who you are and how you treat others. Some people just have no appreciation no matter how much you help them.
    Quote Originally Posted by heckler7 View Post
    sometimes things get tough, I feel like people think I got everything under control but it feels like its a moment away from all unravelling into a huge train wreck. work family friends and side ventures almost always on the edge of calamity. I often think it must be nice that I can be here for you but where the fuck are you when I need you. I dont know if its this state or if people in general get their hands extended ready to take never give. I guess the most disappointing thing I experienced was helping a friend thru almost every stage of their life, fixed his car and let him live with me for free for a year, he burned me at work I had to fire him, I know he feels like I'm the asshole but fuck dude I covered and made excuses to save him to the point where my job is now in jeopardy. I'm pissed that he put me in that position. anyway I plenty more to rant about later

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    Being a good guy is a character flaw. Ive been taken advantage of my whole life for being nice. Im guessing Iíll continue to get taken advantage of because its all I know.

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    Be sharp as a serpent and gentle as dove. Always be a gentleman and be sure you pray amd use your discernment before you commit to helping someone, but even with all those stops in place ... life happens hard sometimes brother, Iím here for ya bro... sorry to hear of your troubles heckler


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    I spent most of my life helping others, I dont do it to get anything back from it other than the feeling that somebody will have a better day than yesterday. 2 weeks ago I helped a friend move and he had a couch and TV he wanted to get rid of and I knew the perfect person for it, for veterans day I took my son with me to VA housing and we delivered it to a guy that has no furniture and is on oxygen, he was so happy and gave my son a hug. I prefer to help people I dont know they seem to appreciate the most. when I help family and friends I seem to get hurt during the process and I lose a little piece of my soul each time. just venting

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    No good deed goes unpunished. Believe me, been there and done that. Repeatedly. I wish I had some comforting wisdom, but that's usually the way it works out. The more you help, the more they take advantage of you. It's like enabling addicts. In the end, you're just helping them continue to be lower class humans. They'll turn that "offering a hand up" into a 1000 handouts if you let them. Most people have to hit rock bottom and figure their own way out to ever become truly successful at life. If you keep helping them out of the hole, they'll just keep finding their way back there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Multislacking View Post
    No good deed goes unpunished. Believe me, been there and done that. Repeatedly. I wish I had some comforting wisdom, but that's usually the way it works out. The more you help, the more they take advantage of you. It's like enabling addicts. In the end, you're just helping them continue to be lower class humans. They'll turn that "offering a hand up" into a 1000 handouts if you let them. Most people have to hit rock bottom and figure their own way out to ever become truly successful at life. If you keep helping them out of the hole, they'll just keep finding their way back there.
    my mom literally said that last night

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    Quote Originally Posted by Multislacking View Post
    No good deed goes unpunished. Believe me, been there and done that. Repeatedly. I wish I had some comforting wisdom, but that's usually the way it works out. The more you help, the more they take advantage of you. It's like enabling addicts. In the end, you're just helping them continue to be lower class humans. They'll turn that "offering a hand up" into a 1000 handouts if you let them. Most people have to hit rock bottom and figure their own way out to ever become truly successful at life. If you keep helping them out of the hole, they'll just keep finding their way back there.
    I say that saying all the time at work and outside it. Half jokingly and half meaning it. I also say the easier you make it for others the harder you make it upon yourself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heckler7 View Post
    sometimes things get tough, I feel like people think I got everything under control but it feels like its a moment away from all unravelling into a huge train wreck. work family friends and side ventures almost always on the edge of calamity. I often think it must be nice that I can be here for you but where the fuck are you when I need you. I dont know if its this state or if people in general get their hands extended ready to take never give. I guess the most disappointing thing I experienced was helping a friend thru almost every stage of their life, fixed his car and let him live with me for free for a year, he burned me at work I had to fire him, I know he feels like I'm the asshole but fuck dude I covered and made excuses to save him to the point where my job is now in jeopardy. I'm pissed that he put me in that position. anyway I plenty more to rant about later
    The older I get the more I could give a fuck about friends. Iím part owner of a fairly successful company that has evolved a lot over the years. I wonít give you the whole life story but basically a lot of my used to be friends worked within the company and either fucked their lives up completely or they tried to manipulate the situation and take advantage of our friendship and I dealt with it in a bridge burning sort of way.

    Most of them couldnít handle seeing me do better than them, which is obviously fucked up. For me, the only ones I have anything for at this point is the wife, kids and other immediate family.

    Everybody else is expendable and typically wonít hesitate to burn you as soon as itís convenient. I know it sounds jaded but it true.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heckler7 View Post
    I spent most of my life helping others, I dont do it to get anything back from it other than the feeling that somebody will have a better day than yesterday. 2 weeks ago I helped a friend move and he had a couch and TV he wanted to get rid of and I knew the perfect person for it, for veterans day I took my son with me to VA housing and we delivered it to a guy that has no furniture and is on oxygen, he was so happy and gave my son a hug. I prefer to help people I dont know they seem to appreciate the most. when I help family and friends I seem to get hurt during the process and I lose a little piece of my soul each time. just venting
    this right here is the only answer bro. if u help people that REALLY appreciate it, that's when you get the most out of it. when my mother was alive, me and her would go out at Christmas and buy toys-bicycles, stuffed animals, clothes,etc- my mom was fairly wealthy- and she would spend a good bit of money. then my job was finding the family and helping her deliver the stuff. got a lot of joy out of doing this- so much that i do it every Christmas-just on a smaller scale. she would also ride around on Christmas day and hand out $100 bills to people that had to work on Christmas. She was really something special. Anyway, didn't mean to get off topic man, but MOST of the people i've helped over the years have forgotten ALL about it. BUT still believe in Karma bro and i can't TOTALLY agree w/ unpunished part. Just much more careful about helping "friends". And Multi is right about his addiction analogy- got a lot of addict friends- most in recovery- but the others are the ones that drive me fuckin CRAZY. Just when i think they've GOT IT, they don't . And then i end up pissed @ myself. it's a tangled web my friend and hard sometimes to untangle. good luck bro!

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    I'm no Mother Theresa, but when I go out of my way to help someone, I dont do it with the expection that the person will be grateful or reciprocate it in some way. Being a kind person improves my own quality of life. Ive been burned a thousand times and ill be burned a thousand more, I dont look at them as losses and I damn sure dont keep a ledger of ways the world has wronged me or taken advantage of me. That's a surefire path to misery.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heckler7 View Post
    I spent most of my life helping others, I dont do it to get anything back from it other than the feeling that somebody will have a better day than yesterday. 2 weeks ago I helped a friend move and he had a couch and TV he wanted to get rid of and I knew the perfect person for it, for veterans day I took my son with me to VA housing and we delivered it to a guy that has no furniture and is on oxygen, he was so happy and gave my son a hug. I prefer to help people I dont know they seem to appreciate the most. when I help family and friends I seem to get hurt during the process and I lose a little piece of my soul each time. just venting
    Lower your expectations...

    PPl will let you down. Friends and family.

    I have been burned too. Lending money. Now? If I give money out, I do it as a gift. With no expectations of repayment.

    Feeling hurt is a byproduct of being a victim. Of being victimized. It can make you feel angry or get you angry.

    But, there is always going to be a few of those who you help. Who's soul you touch. Who's life you will change. Work with that thought in mind.

    Again, lower expectations....otherwise it can be the fastest way to lose family and friends.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Augustine5I View Post
    Lower your expectations...
    Solid dating advice right there.

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