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Am I the asshole here?

jozifp103

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I just need to know if I'm the a-hole in this situation...


Ok so this happened friday morning at the gym. I had a bit of a late start so I was about 15 mins late getting to the gym. I managed to get through my workout fast and I was on my last workout which was T-Bar rows. Only problem is there's only one and there happens to be somebody on it. Totally fine, a bit frustrated as it's my last workout but I have no right to be angry with anyone. So I perch up nearby, make it clear that I'm waiting for that equipment without actually confronting him. Figure I'd just stand a reasonable distance and wait without lingering too close and being annoying. That awkward "Yes I'm waiting for this machine but I'm going to look in a different direction as to not seem like I'm being pushy." situation.


So he takes notice that I'm waiting. So far no words are spoken. No tension at this point.


Then he walks away but leaves his towel hanging from the machine. I didn't watch where he went but he was gone for about 2 mins. I grew impatient and went to remove his towel and use the machine. Just then he comes back and does another set. Then disappears. This time I watch him go to the cable machine and do a set of lateral pull-downs followed by a set of weak ass swinging pull-ups.


So now he's SUPER-SETTING 3 DIFFERENT MACHINES.


I think super-setting in the weight room is poor etiquette in itself unless there's an area for circuit training; let alone 3 machines. Not to mention he still takes an additional 30-45 second rest once he gets to the next machine. I'm sorry but if you're gonna super-set then your walk to the next machine is your break. You're already taking up enough time.


So now I'm officially running late and this guy has done 3 laps already and I haven't said a word. I begin to act visually impatient by staring at him in the mirror, shaking my head, and continuously checking my watch (normally I'm much more passive and this is uncharacteristic of me).


He's un-phased and finishes his set, leaves his towel and goes for another lap. At this point I'm done. I take his towel off, place it gently in a cubby which happens to be 3 feet away, load on some more weight
:cool:, and begin a set. He comes back and the conversation goes as follows;


-BadGuy: "Hey was there a towel here when you started using this?"


Me: "Yea it's over in that cubby."

-Bad Guy:
"It was on here because I was using this."


Me: "Sir, you are officially occupying 3 pieces of equipment at once. There's only one of these and I'm late for work. If you wouldn't mind me working in with you I'd appreciate it."

-Bad Guy:
"All set bud, next time maybe wait for the person to be finished."


Me: "Again sir, you're super-setting which is already frowned upon. Not to mention you're doing it on 3 pieces of equipment at once which means you're occupying 3 pieces of equipment for 3 times as long as if you just used them individually. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that's poor etiquette. Not just gym etiquette, this logic applies anywhere. If there's things that multiple people want to use, have some awareness and try to be efficient so we can all do what we need to do."

-Bad Guy:
"I'll tell you what, it's all yours." walks away
frustrated and seemingly embarrassed as it's a quiet gym and people definitely overheard.


I know I could have done my rows on a different machine like cables or something....but I'm a man of routine and it pains me to break it. The t-bar rows are part of my routine and I'd rather wait then break routine.




Am I the asshole in this situation? Lay it on me I can take it.
 
No, the bad guy is.

i woulda noticed you were waiting and told you that you could work in your sets with me.

maybe call him bro, instead of sir next time?
 
I never did understand this kinda behavior in the gym lol. If I want to use something someone else is using I ask if they mind that I work in with them. If I see someone waiting or wanting to use something I’m usin I ask them if they wanna work in with me. I definitely don’t think your wrong here tho I use two different gyms depending on my schedule one being a lot smaller and not geared towards bodybuilding as much as I’d like. They always have guys doing this dumb shit or taking on set of like almost every dumbbell and laying them out across the gym using one pair every 10 min. What pisses me off more than nothing else is this particular gym has two squat racks and people are always doing anything but squats on them. If I need to squat and they are occupied by people doing curls or deadlifts I simply ask hey do you mind if I do some squats on the squat rack? Of course I’m being a bit of a dick by the way I phrase it but when the gym has several barbells and curl bars and your on the squat rack curling 65lbs with shitty fourm rocking back and fourth for sets of 6 yea I get a little upset lol

- - - Updated - - -

To answer your question tho no I think the other guy was being the asshole
 
You did absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, you were much more patient than I would have been.

People that superset in a busy gym are one of my biggest pet peeves. Pure ignorance.

I stood up for a guy in the gym once over this very topic. There was a mini-meathead supersetting during a very busy time. He was bouncing back and forth between 2-3 different pieces of equipment. Another smaller gym came over and started working on one of the pieces of equipment while it was vacant and the mini-meathead came over and jumped all over his shit, practically bullying the guy because he was a smaller fellow. I felt he was giving us meatheads a bad name and since I had about 40lbs on him I immediately lashed out at the mini-meathead in defense of the smaller guy by telling him that he was a douchebag and he couldn't expect to be supersetting in a crowded gym at 6:00PM on a weekday. The smaller guy came over to me later and thanked me for standing up for him.

For anyone that wants to superset and expects no one to use the equipment they're on, go to the gym after 9:00PM, or better yet, buy your own shit and train at home.
 
I have been in this situation but the roles were reversed..

The gym was absolutely dead, it was a wasteland.. I was super setting.. this elderly gentleman comes in walks around the gym area and goes back up to the front desk..

I think nothing of it.. every once in a while I noticed him from afar glancing back, it was hard to gauge what he was doing but to me it looked like he was just looking around while talking to the person behind the desk..

20 minutes goes by like this.. the place is absolutely dead..
I grab my gym bag and my hoodie and I walk towards the door... Something in my gut made me ask that gentleman if he was waiting on me.. he replied yes with the very kind smile, I jokingly replied back and told him to just bop me over the head next time and push me out of the way.. we all laughed and he told me clearly I look like I was in a Zone.. that was super cool of him.. but if I would have known I would have had no problem with him jumping in...

People have to speak up, don't worry about offending others if your intent is not to be offencive.. if they get offended that's their problem and on them, do everything to the best of your ability to deliver the message that you would like to share the equipment...

Whenever someone asked me to jump in I immediately tell them "I don't own this stuff, the both of us are renting this, have at it".. just make it a good habit when you're done with your set to put their pin back at their weight or the same with the plates..

If people want to get hostile and aggressive, let them carry that around with them, it's not your fucking problem..
 
I superset all the time. Gym isnt quite as busy as others and I have my son working on one machine or bench while Im on the other. We pay for his membership too so I dont feel bad about doing it. Its two members taking two pieces of equipment.

As to your question, two machines are ok, three is excessive. I probably would have told him that Im jumping in and what could he say at that point? Gotta find ways to communicate, even to the gymbro douches. We have members asking to jump in all the time and we dont have an issue, especially with the fit blond chick that Ive been pining over for 2 years. She is delicious btw. I have more issues with people not racking their weights.
 
There's super-setting, then there's hogging 3-4 pieces of equipment and taking their sweet ass time.
Old-school super-setting was done, with the 2 exercises, near by and not left unattended.

These days people setup all over the gym, take their sweet-ass time occupying everything.

Last time I was in a similar situation, but the guy was gone for 10 mins. (Talking at front desk, texting on phone, etc.)
He came over and said "Hey, I was using that"!

I said "Yup, you WAS" and kept on kept on my set. I then said "feel free to work in", he said "No, Im all set" and walked away.
He must be cool though, says hi to me all the time, friendly, etc...

Modern gym douche's though, most dont get it...
 
I agree with everything that's been stated here. You did nothing wrong. That guy was being a childish muscle head. Sometimes I think guys like that watch some workout vids of filthy rich guys who build their own 3,000 sq ft gyms in their own homes, and because they're so self-centered, it never even occurs to them that the way the filthy rich celebrity in the video is performing his workouts, cannot always be accomplished in a public gym since it needs to be shared with other gym goers who happen to be there on any given day. They want to be like/look like their hero celebrity bodybuilder/star in the video, and that's as far as it goes in their childish mind(s). So that's all they care about when they walk into a public gym
 
It's typically women that I encounter doing this sort of circuit crap in my gym, so I just shut up and look for something else to do. :(
 
IML Gear Cream!
Most people just ask to work in if that's important, or wait. I put a towel on my main machine when i super set, if the other gets jacked, it gets jacked.
 
In general, if you walk away from a piece of equipment for an extended period of time...you aren't "on" it. If you were, then I wouldn't be able to park my ass on it and use it for a set or two, would I?

I had these two guys supersetting bench press and squats. SMH.

I got on the bench and started warming up when one came over and said he was "on" it. I said, "YOUR ON THIS BENCH AND OVER THERE AT THE SAME TIME SQUATTING?"

Then I told him when you want to use the bench come over and lmk. He never did.

Totally in agreement about using two or three things at once in a crowded gym. You are just asking for a fucking fight.

The only thing I would have done differently in the situation of the OP was ask to jump in...of course that is to just be polite. Bc I am fucking using it either way.

Asking is only a courtesy.
 
Was this an older guy? did this guy seem like he knew what he was doing as far a working out? In my experience i tend to be nicer to older people and let this type of things slide once in a while. So if this was an older guy then i would feel like an asshole!! lol
 
He was the dick and you handled it with class.....obviously u aren't currently running Tren or me thinks this would have went a little differently...
 
No, the bad guy is.

i woulda noticed you were waiting and told you that you could work in your sets with me.

maybe call him bro, instead of sir next time?
This. I would've noticed you were waiting and asked if you wanted to work in with me.

Like MK said though, by round 3 I would've called him asshole instead of sir. I guess I'm just much less patient with stupidity lol
 
You were not the bad guy, you were patient and polite. Some people are ignorant to proper gym etiquette or are really focused and lose sight of your surroundings but quickly adapt once asked to share. This bad guy doesn’t even have social skills much less gym etiquette.
 
You may very well be an asshole, just not this time. I want to kill motherfuckers that do that shit and gone for two minutes means up for grabs.
I had a similar situation on a bench. This guy was actually going in between 5 stations. After waiting 5 min, I took the weights off and did my own thing. He came by in about 5 more minutes kind of looked over and then went to the bench that had just emptied next to me. I kind of felt like a dick but not really.
 
in the circumstance stated, no. but in most things there is an unspoken etiquette and its hard to believe how many people are raised in a barn out there. its like they cant figure out how to get along in life they have to be told where their place is
 
Kudos for having patience and being able to call the guy sir.

Sent from my VS835 using Tapatalk
 
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You were not the bad guy, you were patient and polite. Some people are ignorant to proper gym etiquette or are really focused and lose sight of your surroundings but quickly adapt once asked to share. This bad guy doesn’t even have social skills much less gym etiquette.
Gym etiquette is not taught by gyms because of fear of losing members. Even personal trainers in the larger gyms are told to not do this because they may offend the client. Its all about money. Add that to the fact that many parents don't teach their kids to be responsible... that's why I always workout as early in the morning as I can.
 
No, the bad guy is.

i woulda noticed you were waiting and told you that you could work in your sets with me.

maybe call him bro, instead of sir next time?
Haha I know. I use sir to try to sound respectful as to not escalate things. Using polite word in an argument helps me keep myself in check because it takes literally nothing for my mouth to start going off when someone triggers me. I hate confrontation, but when it happens I go overboard :/. Also the guy probably had 15-20 years on me, and I guess I still had some respect for him as an elder. Some don't believe in elders deserving respect right off the bat without earning it....I kind of don't either but it's become habit to address an older person somewhat formally just from the way I was raised.
I have been in this situation but the roles were reversed..

The gym was absolutely dead, it was a wasteland.. I was super setting.. this elderly gentleman comes in walks around the gym area and goes back up to the front desk..

I think nothing of it.. every once in a while I noticed him from afar glancing back, it was hard to gauge what he was doing but to me it looked like he was just looking around while talking to the person behind the desk..

20 minutes goes by like this.. the place is absolutely dead..
I grab my gym bag and my hoodie and I walk towards the door... Something in my gut made me ask that gentleman if he was waiting on me.. he replied yes with the very kind smile, I jokingly replied back and told him to just bop me over the head next time and push me out of the way.. we all laughed and he told me clearly I look like I was in a Zone.. that was super cool of him.. but if I would have known I would have had no problem with him jumping in...

People have to speak up, don't worry about offending others if your intent is not to be offencive.. if they get offended that's their problem and on them, do everything to the best of your ability to deliver the message that you would like to share the equipment...

Whenever someone asked me to jump in I immediately tell them "I don't own this stuff, the both of us are renting this, have at it".. just make it a good habit when you're done with your set to put their pin back at their weight or the same with the plates..

If people want to get hostile and aggressive, let them carry that around with them, it's not your fucking problem..
You're totally right. I could have probably avoided all this aggravation if I just made it VERBALLY known that I was waiting and asked if I could jump in. What can I say...I guess I'd rather give him the death stare in the mirror lol.

I'll be honest, part of me feels the need to make people aware of their stupidity in situations. I feel like I was put on this earth to call people out because not enough people do and too many people get away with doing shitty things because nobody speaks up. I'd rather wait and let the person screw up and call them out on it than prevent it from happening. That way I can say "See? This happened because you're an idiot/asshole/etc." So they can realize it and maybe it will make them a better person. It's not a good way to handle things but sometimes it brings me joy :/.

Was this an older guy? did this guy seem like he knew what he was doing as far a working out? In my experience i tend to be nicer to older people and let this type of things slide once in a while. So if this was an older guy then i would feel like an asshole!! lol
No, I mean I'm just on the cusp of 30 and he was probably 45-50 so not old. Elderly folks get a pass from me 99.9% of the time.

I'll have to dig up a hilarious thread I posted here a year or 2 ago. It was about an old guy at my gym who sat his naked sweaty ass on my work shirt that was sitting on the bench. Funniest shit ever he had no idea and I had to sit and wait for him to get up off it.

He was the dick and you handled it with class.....obviously u aren't currently running Tren or me thinks this would have went a little differently...
Thanks brother. And no, no tren right now. But you're right, tren makes me an animal sometimes. I will find myself growling at people for simply crossing my path when I'm trying to return weights. It makes my pet peeves even worse. Like I'll watch someone put a 45lb plate over a 10lb and I'll give him the death stare while I go and fix it right in front of him...never breaking eye contact. I love/hate tren lol.
in the circumstance stated, no. but in most things there is an unspoken etiquette and its hard to believe how many people are raised in a barn out there. its like they cant figure out how to get along in life they have to be told where their place is
Lack of situational awareness drives me nuts. Not just in the gym but everywhere. It's crazy. Sometimes I just look around me when I'm in public and I just feel like everyone else around me is either:
a) a robot
b) a zombie
c) half asleep
d) I'
m in The Truman Show
giphy.gif
 
I'll be honest, part of me feels the need to make people aware of their stupidity in situations. I feel like I was put on this earth to call people out because not enough people do and too many people get away with doing shitty things because nobody speaks up. I'd rather wait and let the person screw up and call them out on it than prevent it from happening. That way I can say "See? This happened because you're an idiot/asshole/etc." So they can realize it and maybe it will make them a better person. It's not a good way to handle things but sometimes it brings me joy :/.

This sounds very much like me, lol...
 
You're totally right. I could have probably avoided all this aggravation if I just made it VERBALLY known that I was waiting and asked if I could jump in. What can I say...I guess I'd rather give him the death stare in the mirror lol.
I'll be honest, part of me feels the need to make people aware of their stupidity in situations. I feel like I was put on this earth to call people out because not enough people do and too many people get away with doing shitty things because nobody speaks up. I'd rather wait and let the person screw up and call them out on it than prevent it from happening. That way I can say "See? This happened because you're an idiot/asshole/etc." So they can realize it and maybe it will make them a better person. It's not a good way to handle things but sometimes it brings me joy :/.
My personal outlook is call people out when they aren't acting right within the space of you or others, respectfully though..If a dude is acting loony walking down the road, let him go about his way..If you're in a place of entertainment,business or a place of services that you have a right to be, by all means let someone know "Bro, stop acting silly".. This ain't prison and people need to show respect and display social obedience and respect the boundaries of other..If you observe the actions and behaviors of "most" people, you'll be surprised that humanity really hasn't lost their way and people don't want to intentionally do wrong to others, accidents are one thing..Communication goes a long way with people..Then, you will have "that guy"..Yerp, him... Be polite, and delivery your message with clarity..A simple "excuses me do you mind if I?" If they seem annoyed and unresponsive, repeat yourself again, and do NOT apologize (apologizes will reinforce their mindset)..Give them the opportunity to hear you again, maybe a bit louder and stern this time around..The statement "excuse me" said twice will normally ground people..You'll have a greater chance of experiencing unfairness and passive-aggressive instances if you fail to speak your mind..

This isn't about whose horn is louder, whose dick is bigger, and who is entitled to what..When someone is being condescending you have the right to show integrity and setting the example of what is morally right!

Let your approach resonate in their mind that your delivery method displays 1 of 2 things.. We can do this "gracefully" or "aggressively".. When confronted most people stand down!
 
My personal outlook is call people out when they aren't acting right within the space of you or others, respectfully though..If a dude is acting loony walking down the road, let him go about his way..If you're in a place of entertainment,business or a place of services that you have a right to be, by all means let someone know "Bro, stop acting silly".. This ain't prison and people need to show respect and display social obedience and respect the boundaries of other..If you observe the actions and behaviors of "most" people, you'll be surprised that humanity really hasn't lost their way and people don't want to intentionally do wrong to others, accidents are one thing..Communication goes a long way with people..Then, you will have "that guy"..Yerp, him... Be polite, and delivery your message with clarity..A simple "excuses me do you mind if I?" If they seem annoyed and unresponsive, repeat yourself again, and do NOT apologize (apologizes will reinforce their mindset)..Give them the opportunity to hear you again, maybe a bit louder and stern this time around..The statement "excuse me" said twice will normally ground people..You'll have a greater chance of experiencing unfairness and passive-aggressive instances if you fail to speak your mind..

This isn't about whose horn is louder, whose dick is bigger, and who is entitled to what..When someone is being condescending you have the right to show integrity and setting the example of what is morally right!

Let your approach resonate in their mind that your delivery method displays 1 of 2 things.. We can do this "gracefully" or "aggressively".. When confronted most people stand down!

You are FAR more optimistic in regard to the current state of humanity than I am. It is my perception that most people don't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves. Rarely do I ever see any consideration being given to myself or others. A simple trip to War-Mart or the grocery store confirms this every time.
 
You are FAR more optimistic in regard to the current state of humanity than I am. It is my perception that most people don't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves. Rarely do I ever see any consideration being given to myself or others. A simple trip to War-Mart or the grocery store confirms this every time.
I see what point you're making and I agree with what your saying, but from a different perspective most people don't want problems, and people in the rat race have no choice but to hustle and make their way, its like a pups fighting for a bitch's titty ..I won't double down that everyone cares, but I can confidently say most people don't want trouble.. Behaviors will change when it's based around getting services and whose "first in line and line cutters or parking spots", but when in a social setting most people don't want drama.. But there is always "that guy or cunt".. Geographical locals also play a huge factor, but seriously pay attention now and then, common courtesy is still there with a lot of people, situational factors are important to look at..
I'm optimists in the sense that I'll give people the benefit of the doubt, when someone proves me wrong in that sense, watch out..
 
You are FAR more optimistic in regard to the current state of humanity than I am. It is my perception that most people don't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves. Rarely do I ever see any consideration being given to myself or others. A simple trip to War-Mart or the grocery store confirms this every time.

Get out of the fucking ghetto.

lol..jk.

Hey, be the change you want to see in the world.

I do think depending on where you live and the ppl you interact with...there is a difference.
 
You are FAR more optimistic in regard to the current state of humanity than I am. It is my perception that most people don't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves. Rarely do I ever see any consideration being given to myself or others. A simple trip to War-Mart or the grocery store confirms this every time.
I think most persons do, but there is certainly a trend in this direction.
 
My personal outlook is call people out when they aren't acting right within the space of you or others, respectfully though..If a dude is acting loony walking down the road, let him go about his way..If you're in a place of entertainment,business or a place of services that you have a right to be, by all means let someone know "Bro, stop acting silly".. This ain't prison and people need to show respect and display social obedience and respect the boundaries of other..If you observe the actions and behaviors of "most" people, you'll be surprised that humanity really hasn't lost their way and people don't want to intentionally do wrong to others, accidents are one thing..Communication goes a long way with people..Then, you will have "that guy"..Yerp, him... Be polite, and delivery your message with clarity..A simple "excuses me do you mind if I?" If they seem annoyed and unresponsive, repeat yourself again, and do NOT apologize (apologizes will reinforce their mindset)..Give them the opportunity to hear you again, maybe a bit louder and stern this time around..The statement "excuse me" said twice will normally ground people..You'll have a greater chance of experiencing unfairness and passive-aggressive instances if you fail to speak your mind..

This isn't about whose horn is louder, whose dick is bigger, and who is entitled to what..When someone is being condescending you have the right to show integrity and setting the example of what is morally right!

Let your approach resonate in their mind that your delivery method displays 1 of 2 things.. We can do this "gracefully" or "aggressively".. When confronted most people stand down!

You are FAR more optimistic in regard to the current state of humanity than I am. It is my perception that most people don't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves. Rarely do I ever see any consideration being given to myself or others. A simple trip to War-Mart or the grocery store confirms this every time.
I think that both you and Vision are correct. You are correct in saying that human nature pretty much sucks, (even the Bible says that, although it doesn't use that exact word that I have LOL). But I believe that Vision had a great point about politely but firmly confronting people. Most people will stand down, (perhaps merely out of embarrassment). However, it can backfire in rare cases, and become escalated, and the person doing the confronting has to be prepared for that.

But it also has to do with the situation, where it happens, and how many other people are close by. For example, when there are many other people in very close proximity, the advantage will usually be to the person doing the confronting, (as long as it's done politely and in a mature manner). It's because human nature sucks, (as you have indicated) that people need to be called out and placed on notice, (but again politely). The gym scenario described in this thread by the O.P.er (as well as many other public gym scenarios) are proof that overall human nature sucks and a number of people need to be approached/called out respectfully. Many of us in the gym do not have to be called out. And nobody ever should have to be. But unfortunately some do.
 
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You are FAR more optimistic in regard to the current state of humanity than I am. It is my perception that most people don't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves. Rarely do I ever see any consideration being given to myself or others. A simple trip to War-Mart or the grocery store confirms this every time.
I follow this way of thinking myself. I generally have a 'people suck' mentality, that's why I prefer dogs : ) . But most of the time when there is a crisis of some sort (flooding, hurricanes, wild fires, a neighbor(s) in need, etc), most people rise to the occasion and do the right thing and help. I love seeing that and it restores my faith in mankind, at least temporarily.
 
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