The crucible for success-my gym.

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  1. #1
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    The crucible for success-my gym.

    If you are looking to get maximum benefit from your gym visits, look no further than my gym for a veritable "how-to" of getting swole.
    First thing, and this is PARAMOUNT, is to get matching shoes and shirt or hat. You gotta have fluorescent orange shoes to match your Highway Worker tank top.
    The you must spray as much cologne on your body as you can, getting your trigger finger pumped and ready for your first lift.

    Go straight to the pec-dec and do rear delts super setted with preacher curls on a machine. The sweet spot is 12-14 sets.
    Now do some leg presses. Really load up the sled then move no more than 3" ROM. 10 sets should do it.
    Pop over to the cable station and do about 10 sets of an exercise that is sort of like you are wake boarding. I don't know what it does but if you saw it in a Men's Health magazine, it's gotta be good!

    Now stack up around three of those aerobics steps, two stacks about 12" apart. Grab a dumbbell and hold between your legs and dip/squat down. No need for the dumbbell to actually go past the same plane as your feet. The platforms just make this look really cool.
    After about 12 sets of these you are ready for bench press.
    Here's the key: Don't use those iron weights. Walk all the way over to the Cross Fit area and carry all those thin, rubber coated, colorful wheels. Don't worry about carrying them so far. You will only be using the 5 or 10 pounders. BE SURE to mix and match the wheels in the color of the rainbow!

    I think I forgot about walking lunges. You MUST do these around the periphery of the whole gym, making sure to have everyone else need to step out of your path so as you are not disrupted.

    If you feel the need to do some dumbbell work, feel free to grab the 15's, 20's, 25's, 30's and 35's and take them to the other side of the gym as far from the racks as possible. People working in with you and using the same dumbbells will stifle your gains. You don't want that to happen!
    Besides, if they want to use YOUR dumbbells, they can start by carrying them back to the rack after you are done. I mean, it's not like you are going to put them back! Lol!

    140 sets seems to be the sweet spot for a quality workout.

    Now you know the secrets!

  2. #2
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    Cruefan89's Avatar


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    Im so glad I have a gym at my house for this very reason.

    My clothes donít match either
    ďMove over for a damage caseĒ

  3. #3
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    Dont forget the pre workout drink color has to match the workout shoes and cheap cologne wont do it..this can only come in form of Axe body spray but the knock offs found at the DOllar Store!

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    I've never understood the whole "walk around with a preworkout during my workout" deal either. Completely nonsensical

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cruefan89 View Post



    My clothes donít match either
    SACRILEGE!!!! Blasphemer!

    I used to drink Size-On during my work out. Maybe that's what they are doing, the "intraworkout" thing.

    "Mr Universe 7x, etc." guy at my gym eats fucking almonds the whole time. I guess he doesn't understand that whole "digestive tract" concept.
    One chick gets to the gym, eats tuna from the can, then works out.

    EVERYONE is constantly checking FB status between sets.

    "Can I work in bro...er....hermano?"

    "No man, I only got five more sets."

    At least there are Crossfit people there..

  6. #6
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    That's what I thought until I saw a couple of them getting their shit ready in the locker room. Preworkout for sure. The intraworkout drinks, bcaas, etc are totally normal. One of these days I'll going to ask them if they realize it takes 30-40 minutes for them to kick in, so about the time they're done with the curls and looking at them selves in the mirror it hits, just as they go sit in the sauna and stare at each other's cocks

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by CoachCabo View Post
    If you are looking to get maximum benefit from your gym visits, look no further than my gym for a veritable "how-to" of getting swole.
    First thing, and this is PARAMOUNT, is to get matching shoes and shirt or hat. You gotta have fluorescent orange shoes to match your Highway Worker tank top.
    The you must spray as much cologne on your body as you can, getting your trigger finger pumped and ready for your first lift.

    Go straight to the pec-dec and do rear delts super setted with preacher curls on a machine. The sweet spot is 12-14 sets.
    Now do some leg presses. Really load up the sled then move no more than 3" ROM. 10 sets should do it.
    Pop over to the cable station and do about 10 sets of an exercise that is sort of like you are wake boarding. I don't know what it does but if you saw it in a Men's Health magazine, it's gotta be good!

    Now stack up around three of those aerobics steps, two stacks about 12" apart. Grab a dumbbell and hold between your legs and dip/squat down. No need for the dumbbell to actually go past the same plane as your feet. The platforms just make this look really cool.
    After about 12 sets of these you are ready for bench press.
    Here's the key: Don't use those iron weights. Walk all the way over to the Cross Fit area and carry all those thin, rubber coated, colorful wheels. Don't worry about carrying them so far. You will only be using the 5 or 10 pounders. BE SURE to mix and match the wheels in the color of the rainbow!

    I think I forgot about walking lunges. You MUST do these around the periphery of the whole gym, making sure to have everyone else need to step out of your path so as you are not disrupted.

    If you feel the need to do some dumbbell work, feel free to grab the 15's, 20's, 25's, 30's and 35's and take them to the other side of the gym as far from the racks as possible. People working in with you and using the same dumbbells will stifle your gains. You don't want that to happen!
    Besides, if they want to use YOUR dumbbells, they can start by carrying them back to the rack after you are done. I mean, it's not like you are going to put them back! Lol!

    140 sets seems to be the sweet spot for a quality workout.

    Now you know the secrets!
    You crack me up Coach.!!! Funny ass posts with great points.!! 🤣

    Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk



  8. #8
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    Modern day gym culture, really odd depressing...
    ~
    "Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer." - Arnold
    [[[[------------------]]]]

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by CoachCabo View Post
    SACRILEGE!!!! Blasphemer!

    I used to drink Size-On during my work out. Maybe that's what they are doing, the "intraworkout" thing.

    "Mr Universe 7x, etc." guy at my gym eats fucking almonds the whole time. I guess he doesn't understand that whole "digestive tract" concept.
    One chick gets to the gym, eats tuna from the can, then works out.

    EVERYONE is constantly checking FB status between sets.

    "Can I work in bro...er....hermano?"

    "No man, I only got five more sets."

    At least there are Crossfit people there..

    you never know about the tuna, that might just be her only change to scarf down some food for her meal at that time. i eat tuna from the can all the time.

  10. #10
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    Some of the stuff I see go on blows my mind. I feel like sometimes these same clowns look at me in disgust because I am actually in shape. One noodle actually tested me, I was using a cable Machine and was already 2 sets in, he saw me using it. I did my set and took 2 steps away to catch my breath. This noodle walks up and takes the handle off , walks over to the other cable Machine and starts using it. I'm literally 2 feet from my machine. Then he stairs at me during his set to see what I was going to do. I just gave a little laugh and walked away, I'm one way or the other and I know myself well enough that if I were to confront him and he says something stupid it would not end well. Mind you I am the quietest guy at my gym, I talk to no one. I'm there to put in work and leave. You can look like shot and suck at lifting but if I see your serious then I respect that. But the ones that are there for play time and to jerk there friends off on the bench really bother me sometimes ..
    Sorry I had to let that out. It was bothering me lol

  11. #11
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    If you are 6' 6" and 250 lbs, this dude must be insane to even look at you the wrong way, let alone take your bar.
    I have a massive home-gym I use, but we also go to the local gym, and luckily, no ass-clowns there when we train (5 AM).
    All serious people who want to exercise,and then get to their job/work place... I imagine at night its a shit show though I'm guessing...
    ~
    "Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer." - Arnold
    [[[[------------------]]]]

  12. #12
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    Apparently I also have that "Fuck you, don't talk to me, I'm here to workout" look too. I have my earbuds in listening to very aggressive music, trying to drown out the sycophantic, droning gay ass sjit they have cranked up on their "sistema".
    Plus I pace like a caged animal between sets. I wish I could fit in FB updates but my phone is in my fucking truck!

    It's funny because when people have had the occasion to speak to me they find out that I am not only a friendly, helpful guy but that this balding, huge bearded old white guy also speaks their language.

    Yesterday the cleaning lady walked in between the two feet between me and the mirror on rep 9 of serious seated alt D/B curls. Normally I "accidentally" toss the dumbbells at whoever would do this but I gave her a pass for not knowing better.
    She usually starts spraying/cleaning right next to whatever I'm doing, no matter where I move to.

    My newest move is between sets walking over to Perfumed Pedro and ripping one of my mega vegan farts next to him at the beginning of his set.
    If any of you have ever lived or worked around a vegetarian, you know how nasty this is.

    Anyone ever ask someone to work in on a machine and they say "I have one more set."
    then they just sit there?
    I usually scream at them "WELL DO IT THEN!"

    The owner gets a kick out of me apparently so I'm on safe grounds.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rot-Iron66 View Post
    If you are 6' 6" and 250 lbs, this dude must be insane to even look at you the wrong way, let alone take your bar.
    I have a massive home-gym I use, but we also go to the local gym, and luckily, no ass-clowns there when we train (5 AM).
    All serious people who want to exercise,and then get to their job/work place... I imagine at night its a shit show though I'm guessing...
    I usually go after 8 PM, that way most of the shitbirds are gone. There's a couple stragglers sometimes but I go to a small family owned gym so it's usually cool. Plus the few that usually are there late are the only handful of people I'll actually talk to after I'm done, and are more like us, get in and get it done

  14. #14
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    I like the dudes who set up the iphone on the cute little tripod and live stream the bullshit workout.

  15. #15
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    Have you seen the vid of the dude in a power rack filming himself and a random chicken walks into the show? Funny stuff!

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