'Bud-Sex:' Casual Gay Sex Among Straight Men Is More Common Than You'd Think
May 10, 2017
When it comes to experimenting with gay sex, some people are totally comfortable being open about it. They're comfortable in their own skin and about their sexuality, so admitting that they've tested out the waters with someone of the same sex isn't really that big of a deal. Then again, that's not going to be the case with — least of all with straight men. While you might imagine that someone traveling to the big city, where people tend to feel more comfortable being experimental, what with there being so many people from so many different walks of life, you might be surprised to find out curious rural America actually is. Keep reading to learn more about how casual gay sex among straight men is more common than you'd think.
Casual guys. Straight men can be something of an anomaly. Most of them will play the uber-straight card, and the thought of them even breathing on a guy seems completely out of a character, but then they come out of left field and completely throw you for a loop. Honestly, just when you think you know a guy…
Experimental women. With women, it’s always been a bit different compared to men when it comes to experimenting with the same sex. This isn’t to say that women are “gayer” than men — it’s just that, for the most part, women tend to be a bit more comfortable with their sexuality. Men are constantly battling with their manhood, so testing the waters elsewhere often feels impossible.
Straightlaced. Then again, maybe men aren’t quite as stubbornly straightlaced as we have them painted as. Maybe they’re just shyer in general. Because, as it turns out, according to sociology doctoral student Tony Silva of the University of Oregon, not only are straight guys more interested in gay sex than we may have ever considered — it’s especially prevalent in places we might never have expected.
Shedding light on the subject. To Silva, straight men are fascinating, and he points this out in “Gender & Society,” which he penned, according to Science of Us. He was fascinated in the concept of straight men in rural areas seeking out casual gay sex, and what he discovered left him far more surprised than he expected himself to be.
Reaching out to various men. To get to the bottom of “gay-friendly” straight men, he went right to the source. In order to find the men he needed for his study, he reached out to men on Craigslist who were located on the Men-Seeking-Men message boards. While your gut instinct might have told you these would be most gay men, your gut instinct would actually be wrong.
Narrowing it down even more. The thing is, though, Silva wasn’t satisfied with just finding straight guys who were interested in gay sex. So he narrowed his search even more. He wanted to reach out to men in rural areas of America. He wanted to find men who tended to live in “white” neighborhoods, and who tended to lean further towards the right on the political spectrum.
Older men. For the most part, the men being interviewed were older. Not geriatric, by any means, but not college kids either. They were, for the most part, self-professed straight men (“the most part” referring to men who kind of considered themselves at least a little bi) .
“Bud-sex.” Once he had spoken with the men, he landed on a concept he thought entirely on his own: “bud-sex.” He basically discovered that the men he interviewed weren’t looking for relationships. They weren’t looking to change their lives around and consider themselves anything other than straight (for the most part). They were just looking for sex. With men.
Forming a unique relationship. Whereas gay men will have sex with other men for intimate purposes, these “buds” were in it for something very different. Or at least, that’s what Silva deduced. He traces his study back to a book written by University of California, Riverside, gender and sexuality professor Jane Ward called, “Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men” — which, honestly, given the title, couldn’t have been more fitting.
“Not Gay.” In the book, Ward places her focus on straight men looking for sex who don’t fall in line with the “traditional” or “stereotypical” types of men-seeking-men hookups, so it’s obvious why this couldn’t be any more perfect for Silva. For the men in question, they’re looking for more than just sex. They’re looking for next-level male bonding.
“Dudesex.” For these particular men, as both Silva and Ward have discovered, their gay hookups are about bonding with other men on a primal level. These men essentially feel as though they can get away with things with other men that they can’t get away with when they’re having sex. But it also comes down to how different the relationship is, which is where a big part of the hook comes into play.
Hanging out with the guys. A major benefit from hooking up with other guys is the opportunity to hang out with guys. They can have sex from a different perspective and with a different perspective. They can kick back with a buddy (hence “bud-sex”), and still experience the benefit of getting off.
No strings attached. Really, at the core of all this, it’s a perfect situation. As long as these men are comfortable screwing around with another man, they can simply enjoy the company of another man (which most straight men are already on board with), while also screw around. It’s the lack of an intimate relationship that keeps them hooked. To them, there’s really nothing to it.
Fluid men. While their reasons behind hooking up with other men is very specific in most cases, it all comes back around to the same basic principle: sexual fluidity is real. The only thing holding most people back from being more sexually outgoing than they tend to be is that society is riddled with stigmas, and very few people want to be called out on them.
There may be hope after all. Equality among all walks of life in America is sometimes a messy subject. While there seems to be a lot of progress being made, there’s also a lot of old-fashioned bigotry getting in the way. So, while it would be nice if these men were a bit more open, so as to normalize gay sexual experiences, it still goes to show that we’re not all quite as “straight” as we’ve been led to believe.
Source: http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/bud-sex-casual-gay-sex-among-straight-men-common-youd-think/
May 10, 2017
When it comes to experimenting with gay sex, some people are totally comfortable being open about it. They're comfortable in their own skin and about their sexuality, so admitting that they've tested out the waters with someone of the same sex isn't really that big of a deal. Then again, that's not going to be the case with — least of all with straight men. While you might imagine that someone traveling to the big city, where people tend to feel more comfortable being experimental, what with there being so many people from so many different walks of life, you might be surprised to find out curious rural America actually is. Keep reading to learn more about how casual gay sex among straight men is more common than you'd think.
Casual guys. Straight men can be something of an anomaly. Most of them will play the uber-straight card, and the thought of them even breathing on a guy seems completely out of a character, but then they come out of left field and completely throw you for a loop. Honestly, just when you think you know a guy…
Experimental women. With women, it’s always been a bit different compared to men when it comes to experimenting with the same sex. This isn’t to say that women are “gayer” than men — it’s just that, for the most part, women tend to be a bit more comfortable with their sexuality. Men are constantly battling with their manhood, so testing the waters elsewhere often feels impossible.
Straightlaced. Then again, maybe men aren’t quite as stubbornly straightlaced as we have them painted as. Maybe they’re just shyer in general. Because, as it turns out, according to sociology doctoral student Tony Silva of the University of Oregon, not only are straight guys more interested in gay sex than we may have ever considered — it’s especially prevalent in places we might never have expected.
Shedding light on the subject. To Silva, straight men are fascinating, and he points this out in “Gender & Society,” which he penned, according to Science of Us. He was fascinated in the concept of straight men in rural areas seeking out casual gay sex, and what he discovered left him far more surprised than he expected himself to be.
Reaching out to various men. To get to the bottom of “gay-friendly” straight men, he went right to the source. In order to find the men he needed for his study, he reached out to men on Craigslist who were located on the Men-Seeking-Men message boards. While your gut instinct might have told you these would be most gay men, your gut instinct would actually be wrong.
Narrowing it down even more. The thing is, though, Silva wasn’t satisfied with just finding straight guys who were interested in gay sex. So he narrowed his search even more. He wanted to reach out to men in rural areas of America. He wanted to find men who tended to live in “white” neighborhoods, and who tended to lean further towards the right on the political spectrum.
Older men. For the most part, the men being interviewed were older. Not geriatric, by any means, but not college kids either. They were, for the most part, self-professed straight men (“the most part” referring to men who kind of considered themselves at least a little bi) .
“Bud-sex.” Once he had spoken with the men, he landed on a concept he thought entirely on his own: “bud-sex.” He basically discovered that the men he interviewed weren’t looking for relationships. They weren’t looking to change their lives around and consider themselves anything other than straight (for the most part). They were just looking for sex. With men.
Forming a unique relationship. Whereas gay men will have sex with other men for intimate purposes, these “buds” were in it for something very different. Or at least, that’s what Silva deduced. He traces his study back to a book written by University of California, Riverside, gender and sexuality professor Jane Ward called, “Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men” — which, honestly, given the title, couldn’t have been more fitting.
“Not Gay.” In the book, Ward places her focus on straight men looking for sex who don’t fall in line with the “traditional” or “stereotypical” types of men-seeking-men hookups, so it’s obvious why this couldn’t be any more perfect for Silva. For the men in question, they’re looking for more than just sex. They’re looking for next-level male bonding.
“Dudesex.” For these particular men, as both Silva and Ward have discovered, their gay hookups are about bonding with other men on a primal level. These men essentially feel as though they can get away with things with other men that they can’t get away with when they’re having sex. But it also comes down to how different the relationship is, which is where a big part of the hook comes into play.
Hanging out with the guys. A major benefit from hooking up with other guys is the opportunity to hang out with guys. They can have sex from a different perspective and with a different perspective. They can kick back with a buddy (hence “bud-sex”), and still experience the benefit of getting off.
No strings attached. Really, at the core of all this, it’s a perfect situation. As long as these men are comfortable screwing around with another man, they can simply enjoy the company of another man (which most straight men are already on board with), while also screw around. It’s the lack of an intimate relationship that keeps them hooked. To them, there’s really nothing to it.
Fluid men. While their reasons behind hooking up with other men is very specific in most cases, it all comes back around to the same basic principle: sexual fluidity is real. The only thing holding most people back from being more sexually outgoing than they tend to be is that society is riddled with stigmas, and very few people want to be called out on them.
There may be hope after all. Equality among all walks of life in America is sometimes a messy subject. While there seems to be a lot of progress being made, there’s also a lot of old-fashioned bigotry getting in the way. So, while it would be nice if these men were a bit more open, so as to normalize gay sexual experiences, it still goes to show that we’re not all quite as “straight” as we’ve been led to believe.
Source: http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/bud-sex-casual-gay-sex-among-straight-men-common-youd-think/
