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Question to dads of daughters

nuttz51

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If you have a daughter that’s of legal age and living with a boyfriend, un married. Does it effect how you feel about her boyfriend. Taking all things into consideration and forming an opinion on the boyfriend, how much would your daughters decision to live with him while unmarried effect his status with you?

im asking for myself because I’m in this situation. I own a house and my girl as of 4 years lives with me. We both want to get married but have no set plans. I feel like her dad despises me for it.

it just doesn’t make sense to live separate. She has a good job but Barely makes enough to cover renting a decent place so together we can actually save a little money. I feel this issue is totally different from 30 years ago. It seems like everyone lives together now. And the cost of living where I am is pretty spendy. I’m 27 she’s 28.
 
My 20yo step daughter was going to live with her boyfriend. I didn’t look down on him because he was good to her. I lived with my wife for 3 years before getting married.

I personally think it’s a good idea cause then you can decide if that persons the right one. For my daughter he was not and so it ended their relationship.
 
Fathers are never going to like any of their daughters boyfriends. We try tho.
But living together is a must, for more than a year. I wouldn’t recommend marriage to anyone if they never lived together.
 
Older daughter is 31 now with first child that is six months old. She married her high school sweetheart and we love him like he is our own son. They pretty much lived together since they were 18 years old.

Our younger daughter married another great guy and we love him too. She is 27 and they got married last summer. They did not live together until they got married.

I would like to think I have something to do with marrying these great guys but really their mother has most to do with it. She did a great job of instilling good values in them.
 
My wife and I lived together for less than a year before getting married. That was over 26 yrs ago. My daughter has been living with her boyfriend for 3+ yrs. They have 1 daughter and she’s a wonderful little girl that’s the apple of mine and my wife’s eyes. They’ve had bumps in the road but he tells us that we are more of a family than he’s ever had before.


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It's just what us dad's do man, don't take it personally. You'll be the same way when you have a daughter. Just keep doing what your doing. He'll come around.
 
Not a dad of a daughter but I was in the same situation before I married my wife. We lived together for around 3 years before getting engaged. Her parents didn't like it but why marry someone if you're not even sure you're compatible enough to live together? I respected her parents and take into consideration their feelings but I'm going to run my own life and not live it trying to please everyone else. You should do the same
 
If you have a daughter that’s of legal age and living with a boyfriend, un married. Does it effect how you feel about her boyfriend. Taking all things into consideration and forming an opinion on the boyfriend, how much would your daughters decision to live with him while unmarried effect his status with you?

im asking for myself because I’m in this situation. I own a house and my girl as of 4 years lives with me. We both want to get married but have no set plans. I feel like her dad despises me for it.

it just doesn’t make sense to live separate. She has a good job but Barely makes enough to cover renting a decent place so together we can actually save a little money. I feel this issue is totally different from 30 years ago. It seems like everyone lives together now. And the cost of living where I am is pretty spendy. I’m 27 she’s 28.

I had a gf in my early 20's and when we moved in together her family despised me.

Even though they knew I was great to her..Suddenly they assumed I was sleeping with her.

We had sex the first date.

So it made no sense.

If your girl is good with it, and you are good with it. That's all that matters.

She needs to have your back though if they say some nonsense when you go over to visit. It happened to me once.

After about a year, we went to dinner at my gf's parents house.

Super awkward. Everyone sitting there quiet, I am the only one talking trying to make convo. Out of nowhere, Dad says to me. Wesley, tonight when you f*** my daughter can you do it quietly..her sisters bedroom is right next door (He was trying to demean me by saying this)

The entire room froze. I froze. I mustered the best thing I could possibly say. Looked him the eyes and said, "Yes sir". And we all continued eating. My gf (at the time) had tears streaming down her face.

I walked out of that kitchen with a WIN.

True story.
 
Our daughter of 22 has a BF of 37. IMO, he has some sort of high function autism. Never going to be a good earner, can't do a lot of things a man of that age should be capable of. Man shit like fixing things, etc. Are we stoked about the situation? No.

He, along with our daughter, has given us a beautiful granddaughter last year. He put a roof over their heads, treats our daughter well and does probably the most he is capable of doing.

So I don't really GAF about anything else besides her happiness and her and our grandaughter's well being. My former in-laws were very judgmental of me and my first wife's lifestyle. Horribly non-supportive parents. Mostly because I wasn't a 7th Day Adventist like the rest of them. Good Christians. Lol.

I don't want to be them. Not that I ever would be anyway.

Do your thing. Live your lives. All other things and people are transient.
 
i had a gf in my early 20's and when we moved in together her family despised me.

Even though they knew i was great to her..suddenly they assumed i was sleeping with her.

We had sex the first date.

So it made no sense.

If your girl is good with it, and you are good with it. That's all that matters.

She needs to have your back though if they say some nonsense when you go over to visit. It happened to me once.

After about a year, we went to dinner at my gf's parents house.

Super awkward. Everyone sitting there quiet, i am the only one talking trying to make convo. Out of nowhere, dad says to me. Wesley, tonight when you f*** my daughter can you do it quietly..her sisters bedroom is right next door (he was trying to demean me by saying this)

the entire room froze. I froze. I mustered the best thing i could possibly say. Looked him the eyes and said, "yes sir". And we all continued eating. My gf (at the time) had tears streaming down her face.

I walked out of that kitchen with a win.

True story.

lmao!!
 
IML Gear Cream!
I have a 4yr old daughter if any man gets close... Well he better not. She is mine how can i protect her from menz?

Cheapthreads out..
 
I let my daughter's date when they got married.

Sent from my DEA work phone
 
If you have a daughter that’s of legal age and living with a boyfriend, un married. Does it effect how you feel about her boyfriend. Taking all things into consideration and forming an opinion on the boyfriend, how much would your daughters decision to live with him while unmarried effect his status with you?

im asking for myself because I’m in this situation. I own a house and my girl as of 4 years lives with me. We both want to get married but have no set plans. I feel like her dad despises me for it.

it just doesn’t make sense to live separate. She has a good job but Barely makes enough to cover renting a decent place so together we can actually save a little money. I feel this issue is totally different from 30 years ago. It seems like everyone lives together now. And the cost of living where I am is pretty spendy. I’m 27 she’s 28.

At your age, who gives a shit? You're a grown man.
 
At your age, who gives a shit? You're a grown man.

The part of me that wishes family holidays weren’t so awkward gives a shit. I guess I’m also kind of insecure about someone who doesn’t really know me thinking I’m a douche and take advantage of people/situations for my own gain, because it’s not true. I want to give her the world but we’ve had our problems like everyone else.

maybe I just need to take myself down a notch and care less about what other people think. I shouldn’t need anyone’s approval
 
Fathers are never going to like any of their daughters boyfriends. We try tho.
But living together is a must, for more than a year. I wouldn’t recommend marriage to anyone if they never lived together.

I agree with this. I could never marry anyone I didn’t live with. Not everyone is compatible in that way. Sure you might love each other, but after 6 months to a year, you might be sick of their living habits. But I’ll be honest, it’s going to take someone of real good character to win my approval. I’m a very protective father. But I have a long ways to go because she’s only 5 lmao. I already want to kick the shit out of this little fucker in her class that always gets in her face to talk. Take about 10 steps back and we’ll be good lol
 
The part of me that wishes family holidays weren’t so awkward gives a shit. I guess I’m also kind of insecure about someone who doesn’t really know me thinking I’m a douche and take advantage of people/situations for my own gain, because it’s not true. I want to give her the world but we’ve had our problems like everyone else.

maybe I just need to take myself down a notch and care less about what other people think. I shouldn’t need anyone’s approval

You answered you own question at the end there bud. The other thing you can do is pull him up and ask what he thinks. If you’re serious, you should be able to lower some if not all of his concern. I bet he’d respect you more if you sat and had a chat with him.
 
I've got 3 little girls and I know one day I'll deal with this.

I would make suggestions to my daughter if I didn't think the guy was worth a fuck but, hopefully the way she was raised and seeing how her mother is treated gives her good judgement.

If all else fails, in 5 or 6 more years when she would be getting that age, I'll still probably be on tren so I can always go yank up fuckboy by his throat if anything happens.
 
I agree with this. I could never marry anyone I didn’t live with. Not everyone is compatible in that way. Sure you might love each other, but after 6 months to a year, you might be sick of their living habits. But I’ll be honest, it’s going to take someone of real good character to win my approval. I’m a very protective father. But I have a long ways to go because she’s only 5 lmao. I already want to kick the shit out of this little fucker in her class that always gets in her face to talk. Take about 10 steps back and we’ll be good lol

Wow ! This sounds like me. She will be 5 on the 13th. And what your saying about boy's at school. Tell you this i picked her up a few ago ( shared custody ) and as we were leaving 5 boy's lined up to hug her bye. Now im sure that's not a rule but a simple hand wave and 10ft back is good. She says she has a bf at school a good looker this kid but still no fucking bf till i feel you have seceded in school. Im not ready for all this nor will i ever..

What fucked up thread now you'll got me think shit..


Cheapthreads out...
 
I've got 3 little girls and I know one day I'll deal with this.

I would make suggestions to my daughter if I didn't think the guy was worth a fuck but, hopefully the way she was raised and seeing how her mother is treated gives her good judgement.

If all else fails, in 5 or 6 more years when she would be getting that age, I'll still probably be on tren so I can always go yank up fuckboy by his throat if anything happens.

lol, very true!
 
Wow ! This sounds like me. She will be 5 on the 13th. And what your saying about boy's at school. Tell you this i picked her up a few ago ( shared custody ) and as we were leaving 5 boy's lined up to hug her bye. Now im sure that's not a rule but a simple hand wave and 10ft back is good. She says she has a bf at school a good looker this kid but still no fucking bf till i feel you have seceded in school. Im not ready for all this nor will i ever..

What fucked up thread now you'll got me think shit..


Cheapthreads out...

My girl is 21 and she will always be my “little girl” now legal to buy booze wtf! I still see her as if she is 12yrs old!
Off topic what’s up with this younger generation. Boys giving hugs not just to girls but everybody. I see it everywhere. I was raised to shake a mans hand not give him a hug that goes for friends, uncles, guys you just met etc. Now it’s hug hug hug. Just shake my hand kid. Or is it just me.
 
Get Shredded!
My girl is 21 and she will always be my “little girl” now legal to buy booze wtf! I still see her as if she is 12yrs old!
Off topic what’s up with this younger generation. Boys giving hugs not just to girls but everybody. I see it everywhere. I was raised to shake a mans hand not give him a hug that goes for friends, uncles, guys you just met etc. Now it’s hug hug hug. Just shake my hand kid. Or is it just me.
I'm not hugging anyone but family.
 
Wow ! This sounds like me. She will be 5 on the 13th. And what your saying about boy's at school. Tell you this i picked her up a few ago ( shared custody ) and as we were leaving 5 boy's lined up to hug her bye. Now im sure that's not a rule but a simple hand wave and 10ft back is good. She says she has a bf at school a good looker this kid but still no fucking bf till i feel you have seceded in school. Im not ready for all this nor will i ever..

What fucked up thread now you'll got me think shit..


Cheapthreads out...

The little fucker at my daughters school is a cute kid. I’m sure he’ll be a lady killer when he’s older. But he sure as fuck isn’t going to do shit to my little girl. I’ll punt his little ass across the play ground. Idc if he’s 5 lol. He tried to hug her like a month ago and I stopped that. Is that bad? I don’t think so. Bro, I can say I really feel we are doomed if we are already like this and our daughter are 5. It’s only going to get worse.
 
The little fucker at my daughters school is a cute kid. I’m sure he’ll be a lady killer when he’s older. But he sure as fuck isn’t going to do shit to my little girl. I’ll punt his little ass across the play ground. Idc if he’s 5 lol. He tried to hug her like a month ago and I stopped that. Is that bad? I don’t think so. Bro, I can say I really feel we are doomed if we are already like this and our daughter are 5. It’s only going to get worse.


I was told by my 5 year old just last night that at her birthday party I can't talk to xxx boy who she claims is her boyfriend. I responded oh honey why is that.. "daddy he's fiesty" I laughed and said he hasn't met your daddy yet!

I'm already being told I can't talk to my daughters friends and shes 5 :roflmao:
 
If you have a daughter that’s of legal age and living with a boyfriend, un married. Does it effect how you feel about her boyfriend. Taking all things into consideration and forming an opinion on the boyfriend, how much would your daughters decision to live with him while unmarried effect his status with you?

im asking for myself because I’m in this situation. I own a house and my girl as of 4 years lives with me. We both want to get married but have no set plans. I feel like her dad despises me for it.

it just doesn’t make sense to live separate. She has a good job but Barely makes enough to cover renting a decent place so together we can actually save a little money. I feel this issue is totally different from 30 years ago. It seems like everyone lives together now. And the cost of living where I am is pretty spendy. I’m 27 she’s 28.
Does not hurt to have a man to man talk.

Just you and him.

Tell him you love her, let him know how you will support her and how you plan on moving forward....marriage, family and so on

If that does not work and he still gives you the cold shoulder then go back to your girlfriend and tell her you did the best you could.....and that is all you can do.
 
The guy is kind of hard to talk to, he’s a businessman and pretty much focused on that more than anything and I’m not the most out going social bird either but yeah I need to be the bigger man and just talk it out even if it’s awkward. I guess I would appreciate it in his shoes.

i just need to pin more gearz for extra confidence I guess.
 
The little fucker at my daughters school is a cute kid. I’m sure he’ll be a lady killer when he’s older. But he sure as fuck isn’t going to do shit to my little girl. I’ll punt his little ass across the play ground. Idc if he’s 5 lol. He tried to hug her like a month ago and I stopped that. Is that bad? I don’t think so. Bro, I can say I really feel we are doomed if we are already like this and our daughter are 5. It’s only going to get worse.

They're kids man. As a dad of two little boys 3 and 4, it pisses me off every time one of my buddies "jokingly" acts similar. They're all innocent. Just let them be kids.

Middle school, threaten all you want. Actually on second thought, call their dad. Because no grown man should ever threaten my son until they've let me attempt to handle then first.
 
I was told by my 5 year old just last night that at her birthday party I can't talk to xxx boy who she claims is her boyfriend. I responded oh honey why is that.. "daddy he's fiesty" I laughed and said he hasn't met your daddy yet!

I'm already being told I can't talk to my daughters friends and shes 5 :roflmao:

that’s comedy
 
They're kids man. As a dad of two little boys 3 and 4, it pisses me off every time one of my buddies "jokingly" acts similar. They're all innocent. Just let them be kids.

Middle school, threaten all you want. Actually on second thought, call their dad. Because no grown man should ever threaten my son until they've let me attempt to handle then first.

I don’t think anyone on here would truly threaten a little kid.

I personally think it’s cute watching them interact but it makes me sad my baby is growing up!

Although I did threaten my eldest bf in college but he had it coming and it was a nice threat 😀
 
I have a 19 yr old daughter and a 3 yr old. I cannot even begin to tell you what I've been through with my oldest between being the first to catch her masturbating to finding dick pics on her phone from my neighbors son, then there's all the dick pics from random guys on snap chat, and the list goes on and on. So I'll just be happy when she moves out!


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