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Need some relationship opinions - Don't know if I am crazy

TheChosen1Speaks

TheChosen1Speaks

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Get Shredded!
Ok I don't like to air out my dirty laundry out in public; however, I figured this forum might be a way to get some honest opinions. I am sure I will get some sarcastic comments but I truely don't give a fuck. I figured it might be a way for me to weed through the comments and find some sense of sincerity.

So my current girlfriend and I live together for the past two years. When I met her I was in rehab voluntary to get my life back in order. At the time I felt it was necessary and learned a lot from it. I was or should I say I am addicted to cocaine. About 10 months ago I had some relapses with coke small bags like 20s and 40s nothing crazy not breaking the bank. Mind you I am the breadwinner in the family and make way more money than her six figure salary plus commission. Anyway my girlfriend found out about it and its become a major issue aruging at top of lungs so the neighbors hear everything, calling me an addict in front of my child (she knows tho) . My girlfriend is a teacher and complete square never smoked, rarely drinks wine and doesn't party. Myself I don't smoke, but use to party a lot. We live with my 16 old kid whom I raised since her mother left us when my kid was 18 months. I get no child support and don't care for it. Long story short, I don't put my girl on a budget or monitor her every move. However, she has done this to me. She has gone so far as to take all my ids, credit cards, banks accounts in the fear and hope that I will not do any drugs. Kicked me out of the house when I was on a twenty bag of cock on a Saturday when my kid was out with no money and no gas in the car, no id nothing. Well, it doesnt work because I don't need a mother.

Anyway we have been arguing for months. She has left the house and stayed with her ex husband and come back the next day. Weird right? He is a cool person and I dont' see him a threat, but I consider it disrespectfull. However, she doesn't see it that way she just says that she is safe when I am out of control. She pushes my buttons if she assumes I am high even when I am not. It's a long story, but over the weekend she moved out with all her stuff except some clothes. She is staying with the ex husband which I asked her not to do, but she says there is nothing going on and I caused this. She says that she wants to be with me marry me etc which I don't want to do. Anyway the ex has a newborn and the girlfriend from out of state and is moving into his place in a week and a half. She believes she will not be able to be there anymore because that girlfriend wouldn't tolerate it. So this is behind her back. So they will respect her not me?

Am I crazy or is this just stupid. Maybe dating someone who is such a square is not what I need or thought would be right for me? Now she is pressuring me to let her move back in. She wants to stay there for like a week and half and move back in with me. Play boyfriend girlfriend but she sleeps there at night. Can you really get past this or will I always be a drug addict to her no matter what and she will use is as every excuse?

What do you think sorry for long dragged out post but what do you bros think. Mind you I can easily hook up with other women, turn them down often, but I just don't cheat.
 
I can't speak to whether she is cheating with her ex, but, dude, if you were not on cocaine she would not have been over there in the first place.

You have a very simple choice: cocaine or this woman. You can't have both. You are a grown man. Make your choice and stick to it.

I have never been an addict, so I really do not know what that struggle is like, but if you want to keep her you need to tell her you are clean, mean it, and stay that way.

You say you make a lot of money, but that can all go away in a hurry with felony arrests and time incarcerated.

I know which choice I would make, but this is a choice only you can make. You can't have both.

- - - Updated - - -

Samson said:
Ok where did I miss the bridge from cocaine to cock?
Click to expand...
He SAID she kicked him out with no money - he had to get the money from somewhere. :)
 
Ask her how you can rebuild her trust.

And then sort out you coke problem.


Sent from my jewPhone using TrannyTalk Pro
 
Fuck that, tell her ass to stay gone. So someone needs help and you turn around and cheat on them? Fuck that bitch. And it's guys like this one^^ that enable these girls to get away with what they do. If he didn't do cocaine she wouldn't be over there? What the fuck? So the only thing holding this broad back from fucking her ex is you not doing cocaine? That's fuckin ridiculous, she should be completely past her fuckin ex and not need some excuse to cruise on over there when you piss her off. Should you be doing cocaine? No. Is it fair to her when you do? No. Does it give her an excuse to do whatever the fuck she wants and move in with her ex and expect your relationship to continue on? Fuck no. End it at that and find someone who is supportive and will help you at times like that, not add to your stress. Unless you don't want to quit, and in that case find someone who does coke also and you guys will stay happy. My 2 cents
 
It really sounded like she cared and wanted to help you out with the coke problem at first and taking the funds from you was a way to do it but the whole ex husband thing she is definitely getting deep dicked . I think all drugs should be legal even though I don't use them anymore but really if you are sweating your daughter finding something out about you because it may hurt her stop fucking doing it
 
Tmart said:
Fuck that, tell her ass to stay gone. So someone needs help and you turn around and cheat on them? Fuck that bitch. And it's guys like this one^^ that enable these girls to get away with what they do. If he didn't do cocaine she wouldn't be over there? What the fuck? So the only thing holding this broad back from fucking her ex is you not doing cocaine? That's fuckin ridiculous, she should be completely past her fuckin ex and not need some excuse to cruise on over there when you piss her off. Should you be doing cocaine? No. Is it fair to her when you do? No. Does it give her an excuse to do whatever the fuck she wants and move in with her ex and expect your relationship to continue on? Fuck no. End it at that and find someone who is supportive and will help you at times like that, not add to your stress. Unless you don't want to quit, and in that case find someone who does coke also and you guys will stay happy. My 2 cents
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We don't know that she cheated on him. Not enough information in the original post. I would not share a house with a woman doing cocaine. She has lived with him for two years. We know nothing of what other options she might have.

Yeah, if she cheated I would not take her back, but we don't know that. Perhaps the OP has a better idea, yes or no, but he is not saying. He did write that she denies it. She could be lying, but I did not get the impression that TheChosen1Speaks thinks she is fucking her ex.

Either way, the choice remains. He cannot have coke and her.

Quitting the cocaine permanently sounds like a good idea for TheChosen1Speaks regardless of what he decides about the woman.
 
my advice is pull the plug on the relationship now. honestly she will just never understand your struggle. you don't need someone putting that kind of pressure on you man it will just cause you to go off the rails worse in the future
 
You could always get her strung out on pills and than smack that way she said won't mind a little marching powder from time to time
 
IML Gear Cream!
I would never date a girl that it's even an option to run back to her exes house for anything. She doesn't have family? Friends? You make 6 figures a year right, she couldn't stay in a hotel? That's not how someone whose supposed to love you treats you. I understand her being mad and yes op you did fuck up but she crossed the line in my opinion and I wouldn't want her back
 
TheChosen1Speaks said:
Ok I don't like to air out my dirty laundry out in public; however, I figured this forum might be a way to get some honest opinions. I am sure I will get some sarcastic comments but I truely don't give a fuck. I figured it might be a way for me to weed through the comments and find some sense of sincerity.

So my current girlfriend and I live together for the past two years. When I met her I was in rehab voluntary to get my life back in order. At the time I felt it was necessary and learned a lot from it. I was or should I say I am addicted to cocaine. About 10 months ago I had some relapses with coke small bags like 20s and 40s nothing crazy not breaking the bank. Mind you I am the breadwinner in the family and make way more money than her six figure salary plus commission. Anyway my girlfriend found out about it and its become a major issue aruging at top of lungs so the neighbors hear everything, calling me an addict in front of my child (she knows tho) . My girlfriend is a teacher and complete square never smoked, rarely drinks wine and doesn't party. Myself I don't smoke, but use to party a lot. We live with my 16 old kid whom I raised since her mother left us when my kid was 18 months. I get no child support and don't care for it. Long story short, I don't put my girl on a budget or monitor her every move. However, she has done this to me. She has gone so far as to take all my ids, credit cards, banks accounts in the fear and hope that I will not do any drugs. Kicked me out of the house when I was on a twenty bag of cock on a Saturday when my kid was out with no money and no gas in the car, no id nothing. Well, it doesnt work because I don't need a mother.

Anyway we have been arguing for months. She has left the house and stayed with her ex husband and come back the next day. Weird right? He is a cool person and I dont' see him a threat, but I consider it disrespectfull. However, she doesn't see it that way she just says that she is safe when I am out of control. She pushes my buttons if she assumes I am high even when I am not. It's a long story, but over the weekend she moved out with all her stuff except some clothes. She is staying with the ex husband which I asked her not to do, but she says there is nothing going on and I caused this. She says that she wants to be with me marry me etc which I don't want to do. Anyway the ex has a newborn and the girlfriend from out of state and is moving into his place in a week and a half. She believes she will not be able to be there anymore because that girlfriend wouldn't tolerate it. So this is behind her back. So they will respect her not me?

Am I crazy or is this just stupid. Maybe dating someone who is such a square is not what I need or thought would be right for me? Now she is pressuring me to let her move back in. She wants to stay there for like a week and half and move back in with me. Play boyfriend girlfriend but she sleeps there at night. Can you really get past this or will I always be a drug addict to her no matter what and she will use is as every excuse?

What do you think sorry for long dragged out post but what do you bros think. Mind you I can easily hook up with other women, turn them down often, but I just don't cheat.
Click to expand...
First, let me ask: does she know about your gear use? And if so, did she catch you doing that too, or did you confide in her about it by volunteering that info, and what does she think about your gear use?

Secondly, did you hit her within this past few months? And do you have any history of beating up on her? I know that's a very personal question, but if you want the correct advice or any opinions that will really apply, then you need to come clean about that if you're guilty of it.

Thirdly, I could completely relate to where she's coming from as well as where you're coming from too. Why? Because my wife also is a "square" as you so put it, and I really like that and respect that about her, because I don't have to ever worry about her losing control around some guy when I'm not around, and making poor judgements merely because she's drunk or stoned out of her mind. I could also relate to your wife's position because I gave up ALL drinking and drugs for getting stoned/high 30+ years ago, and I've never had a relapse. And I do not miss that lifestyle. I gave up all smoking too, and I used to smoke everything from weed to hash, to angel dust to cigarettes to inhaling cigars as well.

But i can to a certain point relate to your position, because when I was a teenager, I used every single illegal drug that i could get my hands on, and that I could pay for, as well as the legal drug alcohol too. And i was a dealer too, so it was my entire life for a good four years.

Here's the thang: I would tell her that what has destroyed your relationship with her is your decision to return back to the Cocaine habit, which then has resulted in her big lack of trust in you. You have to take ownership of that cause and effect thing maing, otherwise you're kidding yourself, and she will see that you're just trying to con her, or manipulate her, (which is what people with drug problems do. trust me. I know this all too well from first hand experience). Even though it appears that she has made some bad decisions, it was all a reaction to your decision to return to the coke. Do NOT make yourself out to be the victim!!! Otherwise, you can kiss your relationship with her good bye for good, and you're just kidding yourself whether you get back with her or not. This is not a "disease" that you have, and you're not a victim. if you allow yourself to buy into that crap then you're destined to fall into this lifestyle again in the future, and if your girlfriend has half a brain, she knows that. Bur regardless of what she does, YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT and face it head on.

Once you admit that to yourself, and come clean with that, you can then tell her that just like her justified lack of trust in you has negatively effected your relationship, the same thing with your lack of trust in her will happen and serve to make things worse because of her staying with her EX because there just isn't any justification for her doing that unless she had no other place to go, and you were beating up on her. But anything short of you cheating on her or beating up on her, she is causing you to have a lack of trust in her due to her living arrangements with her EX, and two wrongs do not make a right. But if you want to ever take the lead in your relationship with her in the future, then you first have to lead by focusing on your wrong doings and your failures, and be open about that without making excuses because there isn;t any excuse for you going back to Coke, period. That's my opinion dude, like it or not. But I've shared this with you with the best of intentions my friend. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you need to.
 
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bc123jm said:
my advice is pull the plug on the relationship now. honestly she will just never understand your struggle. you don't need someone putting that kind of pressure on you man it will just cause you to go off the rails worse in the future
Click to expand...

Probably the best choice
 
Usually a relationship as it evolves does not become less combative and argumentative. If you are at this level of combat don't expect it to magically go away. She will not trust you and vice versa. It may be best to part ways and work towards finding someone who can work with who you are and not have an issue with your past. It appears she may not be able to get around your past actions


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Before you do anything else go over your house with a fine tooth comb. Make sure you don't have so much a stray lortab under the bathroom sink. No gear, nothing. A woman like that will not hesitate to call the law on you to "save you from yourself." If you b&c go to an anti aging clinic and get a legit script.
 
Quitting the cocaine permanently sounds like a good idea for TheChosen1Speaks regardless of what he decides about the woman.[/QUOTE said:
I agree its not like everday. Its a once a month 40 dollar bill. Not justifying it at all. But now if i sm stuck in traffic i am out trying to score. I lost all trust and if she does something wrong i am an adddict so fuck myself.
Click to expand...
 
Drugs are drugs. What we pin...is a habit. If its causing problems its not fair for either of you to be in the relationship. A relationship is a friendship and bond...not a control and oversight management system. Do yourself a favor, and her...end it. The situation seems like a powder keg. Also, id go ape shit if my wife was even talking to her ex husband (unless its children related)...let alone staying the night. That seems fishy as fuck and its disrespectful as fuck. Every woman i know has has girlfriend who is an open crash pad for tough times. I tell my wife everything, and luckily she accepts me and my lifestyle. If that wasn't the case then I'd follow my own advice. You both are disrespecting each others wishes by doing what you guys are doing. If you can't agree on common ground, nor be willing to change...then why force a powder keg? Just my 2 pennies man.
 
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bc123jm said:
my advice is pull the plug on the relationship now. honestly she will just never understand your struggle. you don't need someone putting that kind of pressure on you man it will just cause you to go off the rails worse in the future
Click to expand...

So true brotha
 
Get Shredded!
Tall Deck said:
First, let me ask: does she know about your gear use? And if so, did she catch you doing that too, or did you confide in her about it by volunteering that info, and what does she think about your gear use?

Secondly, did you hit her within this past few months? And do you have any history of beating up on her? I know that's a very personal question, but if you want the correct advice or any opinions that will really apply, then you need to come clean about that if you're guilty of it.

Thirdly, I could completely relate to where she's coming from as well as where you're coming from too. Why? Because my wife also is a "square" as you so put it, and I really like that and respect that about her, because I don't have to ever worry about her losing control around some guy when I'm not around, and making poor judgements merely because she's drunk or stoned out of her mind. I could also relate to your wife's position because I gave up ALL drinking and drugs for getting stoned/high 30+ years ago, and I've never had a relapse. And I do not miss that lifestyle. I gave up all smoking too, and I used to smoke everything from weed to hash, to angel dust to cigarettes to inhaling cigars as well.

But i can to a certain point relate to your position, because when I was a teenager, I used every single illegal drug that i could get my hands on, and that I could pay for, as well as the legal drug alcohol too. And i was a dealer too, so it was my entire life for a good four years.

Here's the thang: I would tell her that what has destroyed your relationship with her is your decision to return back to the Cocaine habit, which then has resulted in her big lack of trust in you. You have to take ownership of that cause and effect thing maing, otherwise you're kidding yourself, and she will see that you're just trying to con her, or manipulate her, (which is what people with drug problems do. trust me. I know this all too well from first hand experience). Even though it appears that she has made some bad decisions, it was all a reaction to your decision to return to the coke. Do NOT make yourself out to be the victim!!! Otherwise, you can kiss your relationship with her good bye for good, and you're just kidding yourself whether you get back with her or not. This is not a "disease" that you have, and you're not a victim. if you allow yourself to buy into that crap then you're destined to fall into this lifestyle again in the future, and if your girlfriend has half a brain, she knows that. Bur regardless of what she does, YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT and face it head on.

Once you admit that to yourself, and come clean with that, you can then tell her that just like her justified lack of trust in you has negatively effected your relationship, the same thing with your lack of trust in her will happen and serve to make things worse because of her staying with her EX because there just isn't any justification for her doing that unless she had no other place to go, and you were beating up on her. But anything short of you cheating on her or beating up on her, she is causing you to have a lack of trust in her due to her living arrangements with her EX, and two wrongs do not make a right. But if you want to ever take the lead in your relationship with her in the future, then you first have to lead by focusing on your wrong doings and your failures, and be open about that without making excuses because there isn;t any excuse for you going back to Coke, period. That's my opinion dude, like it or not. But I've shared this with you with the best of intentions my friend. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you need to.
Click to expand...

I really appreciate your sincerity and honest advice. She knows about the gear and it hasn't been a problem but who knows going forward. You made a lot of good points I'm just wondering if I do stick around how long it would take and if I could ever regain the trust.
 
roscoe221 said:
Before you do anything else go over your house with a fine tooth comb. Make sure you don't have so much a stray lortab under the bathroom sink. No gear, nothing. A woman like that will not hesitate to call the law on you to "save you from yourself." If you b&c go to an anti aging clinic and get a legit script.
Click to expand...

Appreciate that already went to the house and put about 50 bottles gear at a friend's house and all my v pills too because I figured she be counting them. An ex-girlfriend smashed ALL my bottles once 2009 was not fun
 
Relationship advice number one.. Dont come to the pit looking for relationship advice lol.. Jk.. Kind of haha
.. Good luck brother. Shit can be tricky some times
 
TheChosen1Speaks said:
I really appreciate your sincerity and honest advice. She knows about the gear and it hasn't been a problem but who knows going forward. You made a lot of good points I'm just wondering if I do stick around how long it would take and if I could ever regain the trust.
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If you don't want to marry her then why bother?
Even if nothing happened, the ex husband thing would be too much for me, what guy will she run to after the next fight, then the fight after that??
 
If you have been boyfriend and girlfriend for two years and no commitment to marriage then what's the point?

This tells me this is more of a situation of convenience.

And to have a woman that is that hateful towards you shows how little regard she has for you.

Though situation you are in, would not wish it on anybody.
 
Move on brother, it is not worth the hassle. She did this for coke, but imagine you fix your addiction, and she does this all over again for something else. It's a never ending cycle for you doing something she doesn't like.
 
bc123jm said:
my advice is pull the plug on the relationship now. honestly she will just never understand your struggle. you don't need someone putting that kind of pressure on you man it will just cause you to go off the rails worse in the future
Click to expand...

I believe this to be the case here. I've been long down the coke road. Here's my thoughts:

You have a daughter. You should probably kick the coke for her sake. I know it sounds impossible, but you can beat it. However, it didn't sound like you've been doing that bad honestly. A bad coke problem is an eighth plus a day, losing your house kinda deal. I've been there. It's no fun

The woman is fucking her ex. No one goes to their ex's house for a sleepover without fucking. That's completely irrational to even think. Add to that the fact that she's leaning on her ex...it means they still have feelings for each other and that's not gonna work for you. Ever.

You need a woman that can understand your problems, and can help you work through them. You'll never be able to have a functional relationship with someone that can't at least have a rudimentary understanding of your situation. Some will disagree with me but I find this to be fact. Like bc said, staying with someone who doesn't understand you will force you to fly off the deep end in the long run. Your little coke problem will turn into a big coke problem, and that can happen quickly. However, having a good, understanding woman will help you better yourself. Even if you guys grab a bag and have a little fun now and then, it'll be much healthier for you in the long run.

Feel free to PM me any time if you have questions for me. I completely understand your situation as I've been there, much worse actually.
 
No woman will ever take my credit cards/debit cards or ID's. She's lost her mind. You're a grown man. Do what you want. If she's important to you you'll quit.
 
sleeping over at the ex's house???? Yeah she has been taking his loads brother. Move on
 
She's punishing you with her ex, whether she slept with him or not, because of your drug use.
That's wrong.
Having said that, you're a drug addict and you need to clean up. Not for the GF, that ship has sailed. But you do need to straighten the fuck up for your daughter. Ask yourself this. You ok with her snorting a 20 bag? Prolly not. Stop setting a shitty example for her.
 
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