Depression as an illness and not some sign of weakness

So...things float through my life and I watch them and make mental note.
I've struggled with ptsd and depression..and people (no not the net fuck you people)sometimes make comments along the lines of man up...or buckle down...or whatever little catchy thing they think is either helpful or dismissive. That sucks ..some people just need objective non vested help and they don't ever get that. Having dealt with depression I know first hand how when it's at its bottom it's almost impossible to even care enough to do anything about it but just sit there and wonder what's the best method to end your pain. I sort of liken the experience to wanting to self euthanize because of a terminal illness which is also a pretty divided subject.


Anyway. .this article came out along with a handful of others ...maybe it will help someone either from the inside looking out or the outside looking in to understand circumstances aren't always what causes it. I genuinely think it's an under appreciated genuine illness that is more organic in nature than science up until recently has really recognized (it's difficult to get accurate brain chemistry testing done without the subject being dead already)
And in other scattered thoughts ...the 22 a day veterans commit suicide pushup challenge comes to mind. It got no here near the ice bucket challenge.

Why is this so taboo in an intelligent society?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bruce-springsteen-depression_us_57d0299fe4b0a48094a6c65b

It's difficult for someone who has never experienced intense depression to understand. Especially when the depression might not even have a direct cause.

The brain is a very tricky thing. I could not imagine having an imbalance that did not allow me to feel joy, apathy, or even worse remorse. Being and feeling how one should is not an option for every one.

Here is an example of an man that went nuts. He asked for an autopsy in his suicide note after killing 19 people(including his wife and mother) and wounding 32 . He could tell something wasn't right. Turned out he had a brain tumor.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Whitman

There is a stigma associated with mental illness. Nobody wants to address it because it infringes on the patient's rights so the prison systems are today's mental hospitals. Not to mention the homeless populations.

Depression sucks. My last tren run brought me to the depths. You can feel joy, and happiness, but then the dark side comes along, and it takes everything in your power to just get out of bed. I tell myseld to man up, get over it, quit being a puss, but it's not that easy. With me, i can shake off all the small stuff, but tough life challenges really set me off. Top that off with wonderful self esteem issues I recieved from my upbringing, and it's a real struggle some days. My therapist is making a mint off of this shit.

this thread is a sign of weakness and it depresses me

HughJassol said:

this thread is a sign of weakness and it depresses me

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Harden up

Fuckers

After 20yrs holding in all of the past military bs and putting my wife and son though a roller coaster over so many yrs I have gone in to seek some objective insight.

Some of it I can say has helped to look at things in a different light. some I could throw a way.

One weird habit I can't kick is sleep. I can't sleep for more than 30 min tops at a time.

I wake up calm, collect what's going on where I'm at what I hear. Then attempt to go back to sleep for the next 1-2 hrs. I repeat that until its close to the time I need to get up.

In total I am probably asleep for 1-2 hrs. I've been doing that for 20 yrs. it kept my ass alive back when I needed it and I just can't shake that habit.

Taking a mild to strong sleep aid is the only thing that will make me sleep for 1-2 hrs straight.

When I was in if u were asleep u were vulnerable. If u were not with a team member to take shifts staying awake most likely u were dead.

At times I'd go 2-3 days staying awake. Just one of the few issues I still hold on to lol.

Sucks to have to have the fam deal w my bs but at least they know why I go through what I go through.

Up side I was lucky enough to come home w only small permanent reminders on my body what I had been through.
I have all of my limbs and digits so can't ask for too much more than that can I ?

HughJassol said:

this thread is a sign of weakness and it depresses me

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Visit my kindness thread bro

I will keep sending you my nudes, you will smile.....

Aton said:

After 20yrs holding in all of the past military bs and putting my wife and son though a roller coaster over so many yrs I have gone in to seek some objective insight.

Some of it I can say has helped to look at things in a different light. some I could throw a way.

One weird habit I can't kick is sleep. I can't sleep for more than 30 min tops at a time.

I wake up calm, collect what's going on where I'm at what I hear. Then attempt to go back to sleep for the next 1-2 hrs. I repeat that until its close to the time I need to get up.

In total I am probably asleep for 1-2 hrs. I've been doing that for 20 yrs. it kept my ass alive back when I needed it and I just can't shake that habit.

Taking a mild to strong sleep aid is the only thing that will make me sleep for 1-2 hrs straight.

When I was in if u were asleep u were vulnerable. If u were not with a team member to take shifts staying awake most likely u were dead.

At times I'd go 2-3 days staying awake. Just one of the few issues I still hold on to lol.

Sucks to have to have the fam deal w my bs but at least they know why I go through what I go through.

Up side I was lucky enough to come home w only small permanent reminders on my body what I had been through.
I have all of my limbs and digits so can't ask for too much more than that can I ?

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I have the exact same problem. 2-3 hours of sleep in 20 min intervals is a lot of sleep for me. Lately I've been wondering what if it's not related to the past? Just attributing it to the past is easy, what if there are other contributing factors? I feel exhausted but never tired, like I can't shut my alertness off.

So on the premise that maybe it's not past related and there is an underlying condition I went and got some blood tests. My cortisol is always extremely high which can be an indication of tumors on glands. I need to get to a specialist and figure it out. Id give about anything to be able to lay down, sleep 8 hours and get up ready for the day! If a mouse pissed on a cotton ball 3 rooms over I'd be awake listening for an additional sound for confirmation.

I don't think anyone truly understands until you have been in the shit of it yourself! The dark depths of hell really and same here - been there depressed and a cycle with Tren Fucked me even more, I couldn't function or deal with life in its entirety. I shut down, struggled and was also mean pushed my wife away- hateful !
I never really understood honestly myself til I have sat and watched my wife whom has an invisible illness deal with down days and some worse then others and people INCLUDING MYSELF --- judged her told her deal and get over it don't be so negative oh if you get up and go out go somewhere you'll feel better. And true story I believed that shit would make it ALL BETTER - well let me tell you I have a whole new perspective on it, sickness whether visible or not or depression etc. until you walk as they say in their shoes you will never truly fucking know. It's debilitating !!! Fucked me up- so keep all your fucking comments to man up quite being a pussy or for the others like my wife don't fucking judge unless you have any idea the STRUGGLE IT TAKES TO EVEN GET THROUGH EACH DAY for her at times. it may be smaller than some on certain days but every day it's a battle and goes silently unnoticed. She inspires me and she helped me through hell !!! WELL getting off the Satan spawned TREN too -
Sorry to you all going through it
Peace

Fuck that..... not reading that novel lol

Progress said:

I will keep sending you my nudes, you will smile.....

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Hah..I smile now...but I figured if Bruce Springsteen can come out and publicly say he's battled with mental off and on for a large person of his life maybe that helps someone else...maybe it makes them understand it iset because their life isn't perfect or if they could just get this one thing right the sky will open up and they'll suddenly smile.

Meditation and long walks (Japanese tree showers ) make a world of difference for my mental health.
Sometimes there isn't a lot of forestry ..somewhere along the way I stopped appreciating the minutae of life ...insects...flowers...abundance of the color green or the power of the ocean. And I got lost. Mired down. Maybe that lost feeling comes back. Maybe it doesn't.

Hey..my shoulder if making a good recovery ...so that's positive!

Rogerthat said:

I don't think anyone truly understands until you have been in the shit of it yourself! The dark depths of hell really and same here - been there depressed and a cycle with Tren Fucked me even more, I couldn't function or deal with life in its entirety. I shut down, struggled and was also mean pushed my wife away- hateful !
I never really understood honestly myself til I have sat and watched my wife whom has an invisible illness deal with down days and some worse then others and people INCLUDING MYSELF --- judged her told her deal and get over it don't be so negative oh if you get up and go out go somewhere you'll feel better. And true story I believed that shit would make it ALL BETTER - well let me tell you I have a whole new perspective on it, sickness whether visible or not or depression etc. until you walk as they say in their shoes you will never truly fucking know. It's debilitating !!! Fucked me up- so keep all your fucking comments to man up quite being a pussy or for the others like my wife don't fucking judge unless you have any idea the STRUGGLE IT TAKES TO EVEN GET THROUGH EACH DAY for her at times. it may be smaller than some on certain days but every day it's a battle and goes silently unnoticed. She inspires me and she helped me through hell !!! WELL getting off the Satan spawned TREN too - 
Sorry to you all going through it
Peace

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exactly . unless you have personally experienced it you cant understand it. the good new is you can beat it .

I think depression is different for everyone.

I could be mistaken but I believe I read a article that claimed after doing a study in 3rd world poverty ridden countries that those type people depression is almost non existent. The type of depression that stems from chemical imbalances in the brain. It said that this type of depression mostly effects modern society. Of course....not having clean water, food, shelter, Internet forums pushing bunk gears brings about a different type of depression.

Anyway , the article made sense in a way and didnt. Or I could have just made all this up. Can't remember. My depression causes memory lapses.

Depression isn't something that you simply overcome by deciding you're not going to be depressed anymore, or by sacking up, or any other of a number of "methods" that imply the depressed person is somehow weak. It takes a strong person who is depressed to keep going from one day to the next, sometimes from one hour to the next.

I like this thread...shame on anyone who makes a shitty joke about it....I wish more would be done to help people with depression...heck any and all mental illness. Michigan mental health care is absolutely Terrible. Chemical imbalance in the brain is nothing fun. One way among many others to help overcome is to tell yourself you are a good person and you have a purpose. Thats what helped when i was younger and continues to help me today. Also for people who have depression put your chin up and talk to your doctor/therapist about it...nothing unmanly at all about it were all humans and we all have issues we need help with.