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heckler7
12-01-2015, 07:26 AM
my wife has a non existant libido, we have sex maybe once a month and thats after I constantly hound her for sex. we had sex the weekend before thanksgiving and before that it was 2 months without. going crazy over here. anyway I had her see a doctor, she's gonna get blood work done. anyone else in the same boat?

heymrwaters
12-01-2015, 08:47 AM
Not me personally but I have a few friends wives who are on hrt. All aged upper 30's. All are on 1/2cc of cyp200 once a month from the doctor and all are fucking 2-3 times a day (even towards the end of the month which we would conclude that the ester has cleared and been long gone by then but hey its working for em).

California
12-01-2015, 09:12 AM
My wife went in with a similar issue. She just wasn't thinking about sex and it seemed low on the priority list for her. After a couple blood tests and switching birth control to a single phase it has gotten way better. We have sex almost every day. I can't remember the last day we didn't have sex.

Skip Foursome
12-01-2015, 10:13 AM
Every situation is different and women are complicated as sex is more mental for them and physical for us guys. My wife's sex drive is determined by what is going on between the ears. If she is stressed out, over worked or we are arguing that can slow her sex drive down a lot.

If I help her around the house, go for walks, give her a back rub, make her laugh then sex is almost guaranteed.

I imagine if it is hormonal for your wife then totally different situation. But it is complicated.

heckler7
12-01-2015, 10:26 AM
she wasnt too bad last year, but she made the decision to go on birth control and it seemed like this year her sex drive went to zero. she is a stay at home mom, and I know 2 kids can kinda be a job at times it really dont see what she would have to complain about except for maybe its depressing to leave her career behind. she has a green light to my bank account and can spend whatever she wants spa, hair , clothes. I asked her many times if shes getting tired of me, I understand shes married to a dirty old mechanic and she young and pretty, she says no so its gotta be hormones or shes lying

California
12-01-2015, 10:32 AM
she wasnt too bad last year, but she made the decision to go on birth control and it seemed like this year her sex drive went to zero. she is a stay at home mom, and I know 2 kids can kinda be a job at times it really dont see what she would have to complain about except for maybe its depressing to leave her career behind. she has a green light to my bank account and can spend whatever she wants spa, hair , clothes. I asked her many times if shes getting tired of me, I understand shes married to a dirty old mechanic and she young and pretty, she says no so its gotta be hormones or shes lying

I would urge her to talk to her doc about switching BC. It worked for us.

There were so many to choose from, there are mono phase, dual phase, and tri phase. As it goes one has only one drug, dual has two and tri has three. My wife was having adverse effects to tri phase.

theCaptn'
12-01-2015, 10:35 AM
Is she on antidepressants? That will kill libido

TonyMack
12-01-2015, 10:47 AM
Is she on antidepressants? That will kill libido

I agree with this. My gf went on SSRI to help combat OCD study habits while in med school and she had zero sex drive. It sucked bad, cause I'm a geared up sex addict.

California
12-01-2015, 10:58 AM
The antidepressants will kill libido after being on them a couple months.

Also have you had a talk with your wife about your need for sex? I had to sit mine down and explain that cooking food, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, ect. was not as important as sex to me. I could hire a maid, buy food, hire gardener, ect. but I was only to have sex with her. This got her to look at it from my perspective a bit and got the wheels turning to solving the problem.

I also explained to her that it was my biggest fear in getting married and that it could possibly ruin the marriage. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her so why she wouldn't be willing to put out baffled me.

heckler7
12-01-2015, 10:59 AM
Is she on antidepressants? That will kill libido


I agree with this. My gf went on SSRI to help combat OCD study habits while in med school and she had zero sex drive. It sucked bad, cause I'm a geared up sex addict.
no, she isnt on any medication and has never been on any other than birth control last year. shes very low maintenance too, she doesnt want me to buy her expensive things, IDK, we have been together for 10 years so it wouldnt surprise me if she bored with me. but I dont care if sex is boring or freaky I'm just happy to get it. she straight up fell asleep on the couch last night, I was touching her, kissing and asked her to join me in bed several times. I had her see a doctor shes getting labs done

heckler7
12-01-2015, 11:09 AM
Is she on antidepressants? That will kill libido


The antidepressants will kill libido after being on them a couple months.

Also have you had a talk with your wife about your need for sex? I had to sit mine down and explain that cooking food, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, ect. was not as important as sex to me. I could hire a maid, buy food, hire gardener, ect. but I was only to have sex with her. This got her to look at it from my perspective a bit and got the wheels turning to solving the problem.

I also explained to her that it was my biggest fear in getting married and that it could possibly ruin the marriage. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her so why she wouldn't be willing to put out baffled me.I have a gardner, and told her I would get a maid, yup, been down this road a few times. I'm hoping she will be able to turn it around on HRT. years ago she was a horn dog and I would be away for work like 2-4 weeks at a time, when I would get home she was all over me. Now I'm home more and I get nothing. She even once told me she knows girls hit on me and since I'm not at home where she can take care of me that it was ok if I get some side pussy. I'm not that kinda guy but got me thinking maybe she was that kinda girl. But we were living with her parents at the time and they are way old school I knew she didnt have a way to get away from the kids and family so I never was concerned about it.

heymrwaters
12-01-2015, 11:10 AM
Is she on antidepressants? That will kill libido

amphetamines too!!

Intense
12-01-2015, 11:25 AM
amphetamines too!!



Speak for yourself on that one.... Amphetamines turn me into a sexual deviant.

California
12-01-2015, 11:46 AM
I have a gardner, and told her I would get a maid, yup, been down this road a few times. I'm hoping she will be able to turn it around on HRT. years ago she was a horn dog and I would be away for work like 2-4 weeks at a time, when I would get home she was all over me. Now I'm home more and I get nothing. She even once told me she knows girls hit on me and since I'm not at home where she can take care of me that it was ok if I get some side pussy. I'm not that kinda guy but got me thinking maybe she was that kinda girl. But we were living with her parents at the time and they are way old school I knew she didnt have a way to get away from the kids and family so I never was concerned about it.

I had to give her the talk more than once. I think it was the third time, I emphasized that sex is not a want it is a need.

If she is willing to talk to you about it and see a doc that is a great sign that she cares and is still in love with you. I would start by making that appointment. Get a babysitter, take her to it when she goes and maybe go to lunch or dinner after.

heckler7
12-01-2015, 11:56 AM
Is she on antidepressants? That will kill libido


I had to give her the talk more than once. I think it was the third time, I emphasized that sex is not a want it is a need.

If she is willing to talk to you about it and see a doc that is a great sign that she cares and is still in love with you. I would start by making that appointment. Get a babysitter, take her to it when she goes and maybe go to lunch or dinner after.we dropped the kids off at school, I took her and the doc gave her paperwork for labs then we went to breakfast and I slept in the truck while she shopped at thrift stores. I'm trying

California
12-01-2015, 12:10 PM
we dropped the kids off at school, I took her and the doc gave her paperwork for labs then we went to breakfast and I slept in the truck while she shopped at thrift stores. I'm trying

Sounds like you are on the right track bro.

One thing I forgot to mention is sometimes my wife doesn't feel like being penetrated for one reason or another. In those cases we have worked out alternatives where I get off and she helps. It still isn't as good as some nice sex but it holds me over. Something like that might be a possibility for you?

Dante$
12-01-2015, 12:35 PM
My wife won't do hand jobs or hormones, guess I'm fucked lol

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Dante$
12-01-2015, 12:37 PM
I'm in the same boat as u bro, cept my wife was never really a sexual being, I mean we def had more sex b4 marriage and kids but I just look at it as that's how she reeled me in, oh well, see what happens, if my kids weren't my everything ida left i just turned 36 and have alot left in me

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Guillotine
12-01-2015, 01:45 PM
This whole thread is why I rent girls.. (sorry, 'date' them) for 3-4 months at a time and then move on

sent from a remote bunker while banging a Terminator Model T-X

heckler7
12-01-2015, 02:32 PM
years ago when we were dating she offered to bring another girl into the relationship, I passed on it cause it didnt feel sincere seemed more like a test to see what my response would be. then after a few years of marriage she told me she often thinks of women. I've asked her a few times what it was that turned her on about women, I get a really vague response like she doesnt know. I really thought she was saying this shit to turn me on thinking guys like to hear this shit. I havent asked her about it yet but I think tonight I'm gonna see if thats what she needs.

Dante$
12-01-2015, 03:01 PM
hey man, u might end up being a real happy guy lol

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bigbal2943
12-01-2015, 03:43 PM
Same boat here brother. Mine was willing to get tested. Came up she is fine which sucks for me. She had low vitamin d so her energy and mood is back after d supplementation. Birth control really fucks with their hormones man. If she is willing to get tested it is a fantastic start brother. I learned not to shame her. Also I talk about it with her from time to time without saying the word "you". When I say "you" people get upset. So talk with her and don't blame. Is my advice. I think your good to go if she is willing to get tested brother. It takes a little time but it will come together. Hang in there. I know how it feels


Oh and forgot to add her libido is still shot but we have it once a week maybe twice a week from once a month.

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TonyMack
12-01-2015, 05:22 PM
years ago when we were dating she offered to bring another girl into the relationship, I passed on it cause it didnt feel sincere seemed more like a test to see what my response would be. then after a few years of marriage she told me she often thinks of women. I've asked her a few times what it was that turned her on about women, I get a really vague response like she doesnt know. I really thought she was saying this shit to turn me on thinking guys like to hear this shit. I havent asked her about it yet but I think tonight I'm gonna see if thats what she needs.

She might be a cuckqueen and get off on you dominating some other girls, or like the idea of having fun with girls with you. Once her hormones are straightened out you might venture into new territory and have some fun. Good luck bro.

chocolatemalt
12-01-2015, 06:30 PM
The antidepressants will kill libido after being on them a couple months.

Also have you had a talk with your wife about your need for sex? I had to sit mine down and explain that cooking food, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, ect. was not as important as sex to me. I could hire a maid, buy food, hire gardener, ect. but I was only to have sex with her. This got her to look at it from my perspective a bit and got the wheels turning to solving the problem.

I also explained to her that it was my biggest fear in getting married and that it could possibly ruin the marriage. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her so why she wouldn't be willing to put out baffled me.

This is brilliant. Kudos for getting her to see your point of view and take it seriously.

Too many women use sex as a form of control in some fucked up bait-and-switch arrangement that leaves us feeling cheated. Getting locked in to them via marriage winds up being a bad deal.


years ago when we were dating she offered to bring another girl into the relationship, I passed on it cause it didnt feel sincere seemed more like a test to see what my response would be. then after a few years of marriage she told me she often thinks of women. I've asked her a few times what it was that turned her on about women, I get a really vague response like she doesnt know. I really thought she was saying this shit to turn me on thinking guys like to hear this shit. I havent asked her about it yet but I think tonight I'm gonna see if thats what she needs.

Very possibly, it's both. A shit test and a feeler to see what you're up for.

Shit tests are so common that it's best to assume they're always in play whenever a strange new question comes from the woman. She's judging you. Ever fucking time. This is a built-in female brain trait and she can't help it, so... just accept it.

However, it's cool that she at least put a feeler out there for something new. Maybe she knows your appetite isn't something she can meet anymore, and/or her own appetite has wandered and changed. If you're both open-minded (and it sounds like she might be... lucky you) this could actually work.

Let us know what she says!


This whole thread is why I rent girls.. (sorry, 'date' them) for 3-4 months at a time and then move on

I don't share your particular depth of misogyny but gotta agree on this point that marriage or even deep relationships are often a terrible deal for men, almost a scam of sorts for the women, and maybe worth avoiding altogether.