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God

R

ROID

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Get Shredded!
He is doing some impressive things in my life. It's sad most of you are heathens.

You should tune into Joel Osteen tomorrow.
 
How much of your income are you tithing?

Thought so.
 
[SIZE=+1]When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time![/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit![/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!

George carlin[/SIZE]
 
I may have read this along time ago.. But I didn't remember.. What a witty little ass hole.. Lol so true.. But how very literary... A good read for sure
 
I worship my 1911.

If there is a "God" then how did Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin, Chairman Mao, et al. make it?
 
BigTime said:
[SIZE=+1]When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time![/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit![/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!

George carlin[/SIZE]
Click to expand...
Atheist meltdown.
 
Nothing wrong with a guide put in place for people to follow ...if everyone followed it the world would be a better place,,however theres a big difference between the governments churches,,,tv evangelist and a persons faith...

Only fact is we will all die...

Only you choose where your soul goes...or do you?

Goodluck in your choices
 
IML Gear Cream!
People who don't know God don't know. There is no point in arguing, believe what you want, and I'll believe what I want. Bashing God, mocking religion and others beliefs says more about your soul then it does those who believe. Many believers are assholes and will find themselves in hell, but that doesn't mean the message is wrong, or just means dumb humans sometimes bastardize the message.
 
Romeburning said:
People who don't know God don't know. There is no point in arguing, believe what you want, and I'll believe what I want. Bashing God, mocking religion and others beliefs says more about your soul then it does those who believe. Many believers are assholes and will find themselves in hell, but that doesn't mean the message is wrong, or just means dumb humans sometimes bastardize the message.
Click to expand...
Well said...
 
There is a GOD but I don't think the bible is very accurate and hell is just something made up as a form of control.

Sometimes God is all I've had you infidels.

No matter what the case, I, ROID, am a God on Earth.
 
BigTime said:
You can watch it on youtube. Just type george carlin religion.
Click to expand...

So u posted up a fawkin article in pit on religion based off a comedian.....:roflmao:....I believe in god and the devil ....u think Im goin question my beliefs based on a thread on asf hahaha ....

I will give u one thing tho its a fuckin scam no adays ...all about the mighty dollar and catholics need a revamp of things .....
 
George Carlin was one of the smartest men on earth.

The most hypocritical and biggest assholes I've ever met were bible thumpers. I work with one that spends every minute out of work in church then watches porn in his phone and treats his wife like shit.

I don't believe any of that shit but I do believe if that's what you need to help you be a better person in life then go for it.
 
Million or galaxies, billions of stars and uncountable amounts of planets in our infantile perspective of the cosmos. To live on one that is so hospitable to the evolution of carbon based life is really incredible. The odds are so stacked against us... it makes me think either
A. We are the lottery winners of the cosmos and the laws of physics and evolution had taken us from single cell life to taking ecstacy and fucking a hot woman on a Friday night
B. There was some divine power that stirred this pot and was the catalysis to life and all we experience.

I'm not entirely comfortable with either. I am comfortable saying if there is a god, its not represented by any religion.

They say we are all made of "star stuffs" maybe the chemical/nuclear reaction that started the universe, the catalysis for everything we are aware, is god and it's just part of our dna. The inherent knowledge of what's right and the abilty to love others. Maybe that's god. That's the only way I can congeal my thoughts.
 
ROID said:
There is a GOD but I don't think the bible is very accurate and hell is just something made up as a form of control.

Sometimes God is all I've had you infidels.

No matter what the case, I, ROID, am a God on Earth.
Click to expand...

We must be talking about a different GOD. You can not pick and choose what parts of the bible you wish to believe or apply. Either all or none.
 
BigTime said:
[SIZE=+1]When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time![/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit![/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.[/SIZE][SIZE=+1][/SIZE] [SIZE=+1]In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!

George carlin[/SIZE]
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That's cute. Do you have any thoughts on the matter of your own? Or are you just gonna quote somebody else's garbage? Lolz
 
ROID said:
There is a GOD but I don't think the bible is very accurate and hell is just something made up as a form of control.

Sometimes God is all I've had you infidels.

No matter what the case, I, ROID, am a God on Earth.
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Read "From God to Us" by Geisler & Nix. Amazing book. Then you might change your mind on just how accurate the Bible is.
 
Get Shredded!
I don't follow any "do it yourself salvation" proposed by any one church. They all have their take...their interpretations of the Bible. That is why there are so many different churches.

For me, the bible is the ultimate authority. I read the bible and take from it what I am meant to see. In fact, I probably get more out of reading for 15 minutes then listening to some pastor talking and an occasional verse of the bible strung together to match his point of the sermon that weekend.

But, I also think that the supreme being has set forth the same message to many ppl in the form of many religions. Whether it is Christ, Buddha, Muhomadd, or other.

The underlying messages are basically the same. Just different names in different "books."

Our own Egos are the real problem. Individual and collective and creates war and destruction.

This world will only survive when the collective thinking changes. When resources are pulled together. Probably take an alien attack that would threaten the entire world population to come together as one ppl for a common cause/greater good. Then we stop thinking about "us" and "them."
 
There is no God. No one that will come down from the sky and save you before you die.

There are only aliens. We are manufactured.
 
It's all a pile of bull shit. Just another thing to separate us.
 
I think its funny you bring up bible and everyone goes straight to attacking the Christianity versions..

Just shows you are the sheep and have fell into there trap..

Attacking a religion or a person's faith is about the lowest form of humanity there is..

Theres only 21 major world religions and each have multiple versions of there book or faith..Christianity has 50 versions alone..

But yet most want to attack christianity...lmfao

Simple minded i tell you...

Goodluck
 
Know god, no peace. No god, know peace.

Sent from my LG-LS720 using Tapatalk
 
you will all go to hell heathens, and the hand of Roid will neg you
 
TBJ said:
There is no God. No one that will come down from the sky and save you before you die.

There are only aliens. We are manufactured.
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U will burn son:roflmao:
 
Seattlesbest said:
It's all a pile of bull shit. Just another thing to separate us.
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Theres actual wars over religion where thousands die every year.....its definitely a rough topic ......and it will cause the end of the world and its coming guys , by nuclear explosion...either nuclear facility meltdown from those camel jockys have approval to build or a actual nuclear bomb from again middle east .... those people really need to eliminated honestly .........
 
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