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Not approachable??

Burrfoot1313

Burrfoot1313

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Get Shredded!
Let me start by saying...I'm not the biggest dude in the world nor do I pretend to be. However when I go out, I think it's obvious I lift.

Here's the dilemma. I'm out last weekend and explaining to my friend that it seems like talking to girls, and girls simply engaging with me, was easier and more frequent when I didn't lift.

My buddy says "dude, you're not approachable with those muscles and that scowl on your face. You look scary."

Now I don't "scowl" per say but I have been told I look angry a lot. I just have a serious look on my face unless I'm talking to someone, then I'm all smiles and laughs. I'm very easy going joking kind of guy once I open up to someone.

But is he right? Are bigger guys not as approachable? Don't get me wrong, I do ok with the ladies but it takes a lot more work. It's like I'm having to defend my size and sell myself as a nice guy or something bc of it.

Thoughts?
 
Im definitely guilty of thinking a guy is probably a dickhead if he's bigger than avg and rather likely a little too full of himself/self important/aggrandizing. Who needs that.

plus I have my own eating disorders to worry about..I dont need someone looking over my shoulder to critique my macros
the jack doesnt know shit about diet
 
Sheriv said:
Im definitely guilty of thinking a guy is probably a dickhead if he's bigger than avg and rather likely a little too full of himself/self important/aggrandizing. Who needs that.

plus I have my own eating disorders to worry about..I dont need someone looking over my shoulder to critique my macros
the jack doesnt know shit about diet
Click to expand...

Bingo. I figured about as much. I mean I'm guilty of looking at a girl who's dressed really nice at a dive bar of being too full of herself so I don't approach her. Works both ways I guess. Hmmm...I wonder what the solution is then. Used to take girls weeks to figure out I'm an asshole. Now I've created a situation where they can tell just by looking at me.

velociraptor44 said:
Its probably cuz your always looking at people sideways.
Click to expand...

Kurt Loder looked at me sideways once. Had to straighten him out.
 
I mean some people are a little intimidated by a larger or more muscular guy but I think it comes down to the aura you project and a very serious look or even a scowl surely won't help . I hate everything about rap but one of the biggest things is this going around trying to look mean or mad or something , how ridiculous ! Project kindness and joy and yes meekness and it;s like opening the gates for people to approach you . Nothing is more obnoxious than a big muscular guy who thinks he is better than everyone else . Have class and let other people lift you up by what you've accomplished not by you telling everyone how great you are by words , the look on your face or deeds . I am really very shy especially around very beautiful women . I've gotten better as I get older but in my younger years , man it was hard to approach a beautiful girl . Then as I made progress in BBing I discovered that it opened so many doors for me to meet all kinds of people including the women I was afraid to approach . I sort of became a conversation piece of sorts . A lot of the girls I was so afraid to go up to came up to me and it helped me to overcome that crippling shyness . So as your buddy says get rid of that scowl or serious look and put a smile on and say hi to people . We all communicate to others around us with our body language and expression and a scowl will tell others to STAY AWAY ! In my experience people love a great physique especially women unless things have changed that much but I doubt it . I ended up meeting and marrying one of the most successful Penthouse Pet's of all time so it worked out well for me !
 
Try growing a big bushy grizzly man beard. I don't know what it is but girls flirt with me a lot with the beard.
 
Maybe it's all that tren you are abusing.I am the same way everyone says I always look pissed off even when I'm in a good mood.
 
l69lou said:
I mean some people are a little intimidated by a larger or more muscular guy but I think it comes down to the aura you project and a very serious look or even a scowl surely won't help . I hate everything about rap but one of the biggest things is this going around trying to look mean or mad or something , how ridiculous ! Project kindness and joy and yes meekness and it;s like opening the gates for people to approach you . Nothing is more obnoxious than a big muscular guy who thinks he is better than everyone else . Have class and let other people lift you up by what you've accomplished not by you telling everyone how great you are by words , the look on your face or deeds . I am really very shy especially around very beautiful women . I've gotten better as I get older but in my younger years , man it was hard to approach a beautiful girl . Then as I made progress in BBing I discovered that it opened so many doors for me to meet all kinds of people including the women I was afraid to approach . I sort of became a conversation piece of sorts . A lot of the girls I was so afraid to go up to came up to me and it helped me to overcome that crippling shyness . So as your buddy says get rid of that scowl or serious look and put a smile on and say hi to people . We all communicate to others around us with our body language and expression and a scowl will tell others to STAY AWAY ! In my experience people love a great physique especially women unless things have changed that much but I doubt it . I ended up meeting and marrying one of the most successful Penthouse Pet's of all time so it worked out well for me !
Click to expand...

We need to see pics
 
Majere1313 said:
Let me start by saying...I'm not the biggest dude in the world nor do I pretend to be. However when I go out, I think it's obvious I lift.

Here's the dilemma. I'm out last weekend and explaining to my friend that it seems like talking to girls, and girls simply engaging with me, was easier and more frequent when I didn't lift.

My buddy says "dude, you're not approachable with those muscles and that scowl on your face. You look scary."

Now I don't "scowl" per say but I have been told I look angry a lot. I just have a serious look on my face unless I'm talking to someone, then I'm all smiles and laughs. I'm very easy going joking kind of guy once I open up to someone.

But is he right? Are bigger guys not as approachable? Don't get me wrong, I do ok with the ladies but it takes a lot more work. It's like I'm having to defend my size and sell myself as a nice guy or something bc of it.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

I notice this. But once I get to talking to people they realize I'm a nice guy and it isn't and issue.
 
IML Gear Cream!
i walk around Bar's with my fly open...this normally breaks the ice if the women have good vision...
 
I had the problem even before lifting. I FEEL like I'm smiling, but I guess I'm actually not. I also read an interesting poll the other day that said like 76% of women prefer a guy with a belly as opposed to someone that's in shape because they perceive an in shape guy to be shallow, self centered, and an asshole or it makes them feel less than. Personally I've worked at the smiling thing and I'm not so big that I'm intimidating (yet lol). My girl is real confident and she approached me after hearing me speak in public so we kind of knew we had some things in common from the get go, but I think it takes a woman with confidence (or a whore) to approach a guy that's in shape. The smiling thing is a REALLY big deal to women I found out.
 
I think the study was made up by a fat out of shape guy I know I prefer my woman in shape with no belly.
 
frank zazz said:
I think the study was made up by a fat out of shape guy I know I prefer my woman in shape with no belly.
Click to expand...

I'm sure they appreciate the way a guy with a gut will treat them bc he's fat and desperate. But when it's time to go to pound town, they'd rather be grabbing onto muscles than having a gut bouncing up and down on them.

It's like the eternal nice guy vs bad boy argument. All girls want a nice guy. Until they're in danger.
 
The people at the bar I go to say I have an agressive posture, whatever the fuck that means......:coffee:
 
Never figured you as having an angry look- mellow as hell on here. Homo is the new look, don't conform!
Now here's advise from a happily married 41 yr old man. Womens is stupid. You will never figure them out. The right one will come around too soon, have fun with the wrong ones til then.
 
I'm generally the same way, when ever I head to a relatively local campus to go after some young ones I make the extra effort to make sure that I'm smiling
 
friendofzeus said:
I'm generally the same way, when ever I head to a relatively local campus to go after some young ones I make the extra effort to make sure that I'm smiling
Click to expand...


Im a little weirded out by this statement
 
Get Shredded!
l69lou said:
I mean some people are a little intimidated by a larger or more muscular guy but I think it comes down to the aura you project and a very serious look or even a scowl surely won't help . I hate everything about rap but one of the biggest things is this going around trying to look mean or mad or something , how ridiculous ! Project kindness and joy and yes meekness and it;s like opening the gates for people to approach you . Nothing is more obnoxious than a big muscular guy who thinks he is better than everyone else . Have class and let other people lift you up by what you've accomplished not by you telling everyone how great you are by words , the look on your face or deeds . I am really very shy especially around very beautiful women . I've gotten better as I get older but in my younger years , man it was hard to approach a beautiful girl . Then as I made progress in BBing I discovered that it opened so many doors for me to meet all kinds of people including the women I was afraid to approach . I sort of became a conversation piece of sorts . A lot of the girls I was so afraid to go up to came up to me and it helped me to overcome that crippling shyness . So as your buddy says get rid of that scowl or serious look and put a smile on and say hi to people . We all communicate to others around us with our body language and expression and a scowl will tell others to STAY AWAY ! In my experience people love a great physique especially women unless things have changed that much but I doubt it . I ended up meeting and marrying one of the most successful Penthouse Pet's of all time so it worked out well for me !
Click to expand...

In for pics!
 
My wife has alot of friends that are pretty good lookin'. I ask them what they think of big guys. I think alot of women aren't attracted to big, muscular guys......That's the feeling I get.....I think most of them like little, cotton docker, wine and cheese type guys. They feel intimidated. JMO.
 
dawg16 said:
My wife has alot of friends that are pretty good lookin'. I ask them what they think of big guys. I think alot of women aren't attracted to big, muscular guys......That's the feeling I get.....I think most of them like little, cotton docker, wine and cheese type guys. They feel intimidated. JMO.
Click to expand...

This thread is turning my whole world upside down.
 
idk..my hubs is a buff , suit or polo and slacks, wine and cheese guy....
he also does jeans and bandannas on his head doing yardwork so idk
they aren't mutually exclusive
 
Warriorblaze said:
Half the time I'm at a bar, I'm bouncing, so the aggressive posture comes naturally.
Click to expand...

The owner asked me to bounce there, I said that's not why I come here, I already work 60 hours a week, even tho the trim is insane there.....:coffee:
 
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