• 👋Hello, please SIGN-UP FOR A FREE account and become a member of our community!
    You will then be able to start threads, post comments and send messages to other members. Thanks!
  • 🩺Muscle Gelz® HUMANOGEN® - Powered by Ibutamoren® Increases Growth Hormone! (Transdermal - No Injecting!)🏥

Relationship on the rocks do to weight gain

badboys

badboys

Registered
Joined
Apr 30, 2013
Messages
645
Reaction score
17
Points
26
Location
East Coast
Get Shredded!
I never even thought to come here for advice on this subject but what better place than this since my wife will never know and no one here really knows who we are anyways lol. Will try to keep short. I waited till I was 29 years old to get married mainly because I wanted to find the right one in every aspect. Found her and she was my dream girl. Had the looks of a super model and personality to match. She had just got out of a relationship with a professional bodybuilder so she was into fitness herself. She is 5'9.5 barefoot and was 150lbs when we meet. I never dreamed she would gain weight. Now she is 225lbs and its affecting our sex, relationship, etc. I have tried every approach from being the nice guy that didn't say anything to being the pushy coach trying to get her back into fitness. Seems like harder I try the more she rebels and more we fight. I promised her I wasn't never saying anything about it again and that its up to her but deep down I am real unhappy. People try and tell me that you have to grow old and you made a commitment to her for better or worse. I haven't cheat on her in the nine years we been married. What can I do ? I feel like I am too young to go unhappy for rest of my life and feel like I have been cheated on in a sense. Is there anything I can do to motivate her that I have not tried and what about gastric bypass surgery?? I have been reading on it and a friends wife had it done and lost over 100lbs. Or am I just being selfish ?
 
badboys said:
I never even thought to come here for advice on this subject but what better place than this since my wife will never know and no one here really knows who we are anyways lol. Will try to keep short. I waited till I was 29 years old to get married mainly because I wanted to find the right one in every aspect. Found her and she was my dream girl. Had the looks of a super model and personality to match. She had just got out of a relationship with a professional bodybuilder so she was into fitness herself. She is 5'9.5 barefoot and was 150lbs when we meet. I never dreamed she would gain weight. Now she is 225lbs and its affecting our sex, relationship, etc. I have tried every approach from being the nice guy that didn't say anything to being the pushy coach trying to get her back into fitness. Seems like harder I try the more she rebels and more we fight. I promised her I wasn't never saying anything about it again and that its up to her but deep down I am real unhappy. People try and tell me that you have to grow old and you made a commitment to her for better or worse. I haven't cheat on her in the nine years we been married. What can I do ? I feel like I am too young to go unhappy for rest of my life and feel like I have been cheated on in a sense. Is there anything I can do to motivate her that I have not tried and what about gastric bypass surgery?? I have been reading on it and a friends wife had it done and lost over 100lbs. Or am I just being selfish ?
Click to expand...

What is your lifestyle like? I mean the both of you.

And yes, kids?


I can't stand seeing couples that are just fucking fat, disgusting and out of shape. You deserve a hot wife. Better yet, you deserve someone who takes care of themselves.
 
No kids by her. I have one child but he is 20 now and already gone out on his own but he was from another woman. And not sure what your asking as far as lifestyle but to be honest we don't do much of anything together anymore. I am active. I like to walk my pets, run, workout, ride motorcycle, and she won't do any of these with me anymore. Blames it on depression. She don't get out much at all. She isn't a outside person lets just say lol. Use to not be like this at all
 
badboys said:
No kids by her. I have one child but he is 20 now and already gone out on his own but he was from another woman. And not sure what your asking as far as lifestyle but to be honest we don't do much of anything together anymore. I am active. I like to walk my pets, run, workout, ride motorcycle, and she won't do any of these with me anymore. Blames it on depression. She don't get out much at all. She isn't a outside person lets just say lol. Use to not be like this at all
Click to expand...

Hmmm. So when you approach one another what is your conversation like?
 
My ex gf was sexy thick curvey... but she was 28 when we spilt, looking at her mom i realized she would blimp out cus she had no motivation and just wanted to party. That break up saved me from a life of 230lb dinner dates and zero credit score in the future.
 
we actually get along pretty well despite of whats going on. I try to make the best of things and have learned that dwelling only cause's high blood pressure and doesn't help the situation. I just try to not say anything to hurt her feelings anymore. I don't know what to do really. She has changed her way of eating but she won't exercise. And she knows all about diet because she has been around body builders but she will go one one or two meals a day and I tell her all the time you know that's not the way to loose weight your only putting your body into starvation mode but she won't listen. I have about give up. I just am very religious too and the marriage bond is very important to me and I know the only real reason for divorce is infidelity but I am not happy with her being that way at all.
 
velociraptor44 said:
My ex gf was sexy thick curvey... but she was 28 when we spilt, looking at her mom i realized she would blimp out cus she had no motivation and just wanted to party. That break up saved me from a life of 230lb dinner dates and zero credit score in the future.
Click to expand...

She holds her weight well I must say because her height but she passed the sexy thick curvey thing about 30lbs back lol
 
225 that's not to bad for 5' 9.5". Just a little extra luvin. Dude my wife put on a bunch of weight after the baby and she kept it. Nothing I say does any good so I just keep my mouth shut with direct comments. I just try to lead by example. I try to do the grocery shopping and get healthy foods and I'll cook when I can. I try to do family activities that burn calories and stuff like that but in the end its up to her. She was loyal and stuck by my side when I was at my lowest of lows. She gave me a beautiful daughter and is a great mother. I used to be caught up on superficial looks but have come to realize true beauty comes from within and is a rare thing. Sounds like you had a good women until she gained weight. In the end its up to you to decide what qualities matter most. If a hot chick is what it takes to make you happy then find yourself a little hot 20 yo and pray she never puts on a little weight because then you'll have to start all over again. Lol
 
jas101 said:
225 that's not to bad for 5' 9.5". Just a little extra luvin. Dude my wife put on a bunch of weight after the baby and she kept it. Nothing I say does any good so I just keep my mouth shut with direct comments. I just try to lead by example. I try to do the grocery shopping and get healthy foods and I'll cook when I can. I try to do family activities that burn calories and stuff like that but in the end its up to her. She was loyal and stuck by my side when I was at my lowest of lows. She gave me a beautiful daughter and is a great mother. I used to be caught up on superficial looks but have come to realize true beauty comes from within and is a rare thing. Sounds like you had a good women until she gained weight. In the end its up to you to decide what qualities matter most. If a hot chick is what it takes to make you happy then find yourself a little hot 20 yo and pray she never puts on a little weight because then you'll have to start all over again. Lol
Click to expand...

Much respect Jas! repped my man.
 
Orrr, maybe find yourself some black or Mexican friends and hang with them awhile. They'll let you know what's up with the big girls and maybe some of that will rub off on you. Lol, sorry don't mean to offend just a bad stereotype joke.
 
jas101 said:
225 that's not to bad for 5' 9.5". Just a little extra luvin. Dude my wife put on a bunch of weight after the baby and she kept it. Nothing I say does any good so I just keep my mouth shut with direct comments. I just try to lead by example. I try to do the grocery shopping and get healthy foods and I'll cook when I can. I try to do family activities that burn calories and stuff like that but in the end its up to her. She was loyal and stuck by my side when I was at my lowest of lows. She gave me a beautiful daughter and is a great mother. I used to be caught up on superficial looks but have come to realize true beauty comes from within and is a rare thing. Sounds like you had a good women until she gained weight. In the end its up to you to decide what qualities matter most. If a hot chick is what it takes to make you happy then find yourself a little hot 20 yo and pray she never puts on a little weight because then you'll have to start all over again. Lol
Click to expand...

Your right. I know true beauty is on the inside. She is a great woman in a lot of ways just has some unhealthy habits. I use to never even look another womens way but I catch myself doing it now because I love a beautiful body. Maybe I should have waited awhile longer before getting married lol. Your right though all of them get old and a lot of it could be genetic
 
badboys said:
Your right. I know true beauty is on the inside. She is a great woman in a lot of ways just has some unhealthy habits. I use to never even look another womens way but I catch myself doing it now because I love a beautiful body. Maybe I should have waited awhile longer before getting married lol. Your right though all of them get old and a lot of it could be genetic
Click to expand...

I like to look at beautiful women myself but that's as far as it goes. Maybe rethink your approach. Don't even say anything about weight loss, dieting, or exercise. Just find some new hobbies that are physical. Hiking, mountain biking, or something similar. If you can find something she enjoys doing with you maybe that will motivate her. Increase the difficulty of the activity and maybe she'll be like damn I'm out of shape. Lol. I don't know if that will work just trying to throw some ideas out.
 
jas101 said:
Orrr, maybe find yourself some black or Mexican friends and hang with them awhile. They'll let you know what's up with the big girls and maybe some of that will rub off on you. Lol, sorry don't mean to offend just a bad stereotype joke.
Click to expand...

she was just telling me today how this black guy was following her threw the store and was whistling as she was leaving lol They love thick women
 
jas101 said:
I like to look at beautiful women myself but that's as far as it goes. Maybe rethink your approach. Don't even say anything about weight loss, dieting, or exercise. Just find some new hobbies that are physical. Hiking, mountain biking, or something similar. If you can find something she enjoys doing with you maybe that will motivate her. Increase the difficulty of the activity and maybe she'll be like damn I'm out of shape. Lol. I don't know if that will work just trying to throw some ideas out.
Click to expand...

I am. It makes matters worse talking about it. I got her a treadmill because she wanted it but has only used it 3 times in a month. Its getting her motivated is the hard part. Just sucks because I am afraid in ten years she will be 250+
 
badboys said:
she was just telling me today how this black guy was following her threw the store and was whistling as she was leaving lol They love thick women
Click to expand...

My wife has black guys and Mexicans whistle at her when I'm not around. I know its supposed to be a stereotype but I don't think anyone told them. Lol. Best of luck bro.
 
Is she considerate about anything that you seek out of the marriage? Ie, a person who takes care of themself? A desirable wife to lay each night (if you're lucky)?

I feel like there's more here
 
tbjeff said:
Is she considerate about anything that you seek out of the marriage? Ie, a person who takes care of themself? A desirable wife to lay each night (if you're lucky)?

I feel like there's more here
Click to expand...

yes she is. Biggest thing I have with her is the smoking in the house but she has limited it to one room to work with me. I can't say she is healthy bro because of the weight and the smoking. Sex is great and she trys to keep me happy in that way but feels insecure with certain things now because of the weight gain
 
badboys said:
I am. It makes matters worse talking about it. I got her a treadmill because she wanted it but has only used it 3 times in a month. Its getting her motivated is the hard part. Just sucks because I am afraid in ten years she will be 250+
Click to expand...

I got my wife an elliptical that got used once. Lol. ONCE in 2 years so I had it sold to a co worker. They call to come pick it up and she raises hell because that's not mine to sell and she is gonna start using it. I had to apologize and refund the money and she still hasn't used it. I had a awesome hard core gym that's owned by a old school power lifter I quit. Signed a 3 year contract at a big fancy high dollar gym and she only goes to take our daughter swimming. So I feel your pain. I can't motivate mine either so I don't really have any good motivational advice. My only advice is don't give up on a woman that wouldn't give up on you. JMO though. Your the one who has to be happy.
 
couple counseling? if she's depressed or at least blaming her actions on that, maybe she needs to seek some sort of professional help by herself.
 
Get Shredded!
badboys said:
yes she is. Biggest thing I have with her is the smoking in the house but she has limited it to one room to work with me. I can't say she is healthy bro because of the weight and the smoking. Sex is great and she trys to keep me happy in that way but feels insecure with certain things now because of the weight gain
Click to expand...

Hmm.. When my wife and I first met she was fit 5'3 soccer player in college. In shape as fuck. We fucked like 5 times a day? Had ups and downs, blah blah blah. Moved in, got comfy and partied a lot for two years straight. We both got fairly out of shape. I would voice about sex and she would say that she felt insecure yet wouldn't do anything about it. It wasn't until I started going to the gym consistently, got more jerked and ate healthy that she came around and started doing the same. She also puts out more when women hit on me in front of her. It's great. We're both on the journey still, it's way better than before but still a process. No blowjobs lately.. :hmm:
 
Last edited:
Also at some point, health risk has to take affect. I can't even begin to preach, although I am... But it still stands.
 
There's nothing selfish about not wanting to be with someone who gives up. AT ALL. You're only option is to talk to her about it. Or continue to let it get worse and make yourself depressed.
My girl used to smoke weed. I told her if I ever caught her doing it I'd throw her ass out of the door. Even the best relationships have ultimatums.
 
Titan5011 said:
There's nothing selfish about not wanting to be with someone who gives up. AT ALL. You're only option is to talk to her about it. Or continue to let it get worse and make yourself depressed.
My girl used to smoke weed. I told her if I ever caught her doing it I'd throw her ass out of the door. Even the best relationships have ultimatums.
Click to expand...

Ultimatums don't work well in my experience. Wife said "I hate it when you chew" with multiple empty threats. Verbal battles ensued. I said "get your ass in the gym" it's a littje better now
 
I find there being a difference in sitting down and talking about how it affects you rather than "Yo fat ass makes my dick limp now, get in shape or be gone." I tell my girl to get her ass ready for the gym all the time. Not really an ultimatum.

tbjeff said:
Ultimatums don't work well in my experience. Wife said "I hate it when you chew" with multiple empty threats. Verbal battles ensued. I said "get your ass in the gym" it's a littje better now
Click to expand...
 
Titan5011 said:
I find there being a difference in sitting down and talking about how it affects you rather than "Yo fat ass makes my dick limp now, get in shape or be gone." I tell my girl to get her ass ready for the gym all the time. Not really an ultimatum.
Click to expand...

Lol.. I didn't say it like that, not in those words. I realize how that sounds, shallow yes. Shallow I am not.
 
friendofzeus said:
couple counseling? if she's depressed or at least blaming her actions on that, maybe she needs to seek some sort of professional help by herself.
Click to expand...

She is seeing a counselor and I am too. Seems to help for that day only lol. She has OCD and may be bipolar. I should have mentioned she is on wellbutrin and Zoloft and Zoloft can cause weight gain. She also use to smoke weed and that's what made her go from 180 to 225. She quit it though but has yet to get off the weight.
 
jas101 said:
I got my wife an elliptical that got used once. Lol. ONCE in 2 years so I had it sold to a co worker. They call to come pick it up and she raises hell because that's not mine to sell and she is gonna start using it. I had to apologize and refund the money and she still hasn't used it. I had a awesome hard core gym that's owned by a old school power lifter I quit. Signed a 3 year contract at a big fancy high dollar gym and she only goes to take our daughter swimming. So I feel your pain. I can't motivate mine either so I don't really have any good motivational advice. My only advice is don't give up on a woman that wouldn't give up on you. JMO though. Your the one who has to be happy.
Click to expand...

and damn bro sounds like you are in similar shoes lol, so much like her. I appreciate the advice though
 
There's always a reason why someone doesn't try to loose weight. Also get her off the depression medicine. That shit is terrible.

badboys said:
and damn bro sounds like you are in similar shoes lol, so much like her. I appreciate the advice though
Click to expand...
 
badboys said:
I am. It makes matters worse talking about it. I got her a treadmill because she wanted it but has only used it 3 times in a month. Its getting her motivated is the hard part. Just sucks because I am afraid in ten years she will be 250+
Click to expand...

I understand brother. 100%. It's not the first 20lbs she gained can deal with that.(my girl is 5"2", so it's substantial, but she still looks good. I am a lucky man.) You don't have to be perfect to turn me on. But there is a point where it is, sadly, a turn off. It's the fear that if she never ever changers her ways, in 15 years she's going to have gained 60lbs, fuck, 100lbs. That sucks, and i want to be emotionally AND physically attracted to my significant other. You cant fuck a great personality. I'm not shallow, honestly, i see beauty in everybody. But if your completely in the deep end of weight gain, I cant be attracted to that.
 
Back
Top