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How would you react?

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Nocode8511

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Get Shredded!
Ok, so I'm sitting in my kitchen shooting the shit with my dad when the dogs start going crazy. I knew someone was at the door but I did not expect to see my ex's parents. :thinking: My first thought was damn my ex was found dead somewhere, but thats not what happened. Let me give you guys the short story to this but I'll make sure I have all the details.

I was with this girl for 10 years and I thought she was going to be my high school sweet heart. We had a great relationship and most people would always say "I wish me and my gf would get along as good as you guys." In 09 we moved in together (small apartment) but I paid for everything that was in there. Some of the things I already had like couch, wash and dryer, etc. but other appliances I let her put on my CC. I got my credit card bill one day and realized it was a little over 2500 which was not my style. I was pissed and it turned into a huge fight. I noticed that she had become money hungry and figured something was up. There were a few times she went out with "her friends" and didn't come home. Right off the bat I asked her if she was cheating and she told me no. I was working nights at this point and a few weekends I called off just to see what she was up to. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy but I wanted to see if she was cheating. Someone was about to catch a beating, but I couldn't catch her with no one. I'm not sure if she caught on to what I was doing so everything kinda returned to normal for a few months.

She was talking about getting engaged and maybe starting our own family. I started looking at rings and everything, blah blah blah.... Then boom! She got all weird on me again. I noticed she was always broke even though she was working for the state. I brought home a drug test one night and she failed. I questioned her about drugs and replied "I get high with the girls once and awhile." Fuck that, I knew there was more to the story. This was around thanksgiving time... So one afternoon (4pm) I'm leaving work and had like 20 plus phone calls from my neighbors (couldn't have my phone where I worked.) So I called my buddy back and ask him whats up. I get home and NOTHING and I mean NOTHING was in my apartment. No couch, clothes, NOTHING was left in there. She apparently met some guy while getting high and they bounced. She robbed me of everything I had. I literally only had my work clothes left.

I didnt hear from her for 3 years, and even her family couldn't get in touch with her. I wanted to kill both of them but my dad talked some sense into me.

So... she robbed me, became a junkie with some older ass lowlife, and has a kid now, and kind of fucked up my life foe awhile.

Now her parents show up at my door and give me a letter she wrote. I didn't want to read it but my pops said I should at least her what she has to say. By the way my dad is the fucking man haha. She went on for pages saying that she fucked me over, fucked up her life with drugs, ruined our relationship and the best thing she ever had. You know all the stuff people say when they are getting clean. Now she is in rehab for 6 months and her kid is living with her parents. She wants to know if I could forgive her and maybe be friends? Then it goes on to say the friendship could move into a relationship like it should have in the first place.

Right now I have a fuck you attitude and don't want NOTHING to do with her, plan and simple. I just wanted to ask everyone's opinion but I have a feeling you guys are going to agree with me on this one.
 
Nocode8511 said:
Ok, so I'm sitting in my kitchen shooting the shit with my dad when the dogs start going crazy. I knew someone was at the door but I did not expect to see my ex's parents. :thinking: My first thought was damn my ex was found dead somewhere, but thats not what happened. Let me give you guys the short story to this but I'll make sure I have all the details.

I was with this girl for 10 years and I thought she was going to be my high school sweet heart. We had a great relationship and most people would always say "I wish me and my gf would get along as good as you guys." In 09 we moved in together (small apartment) but I paid for everything that was in there. Some of the things I already had like couch, wash and dryer, etc. but other appliances I let her put on my CC. I got my credit card bill one day and realized it was a little over 2500 which was not my style. I was pissed and it turned into a huge fight. I noticed that she had become money hungry and figured something was up. There were a few times she went out with "her friends" and didn't come home. Right off the bat I asked her if she was cheating and she told me no. I was working nights at this point and a few weekends I called off just to see what she was up to. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy but I wanted to see if she was cheating. Someone was about to catch a beating, but I couldn't catch her with no one. I'm not sure if she caught on to what I was doing so everything kinda returned to normal for a few months.

She was talking about getting engaged and maybe starting our own family. I started looking at rings and everything, blah blah blah.... Then boom! She got all weird on me again. I noticed she was always broke even though she was working for the state. I brought home a drug test one night and she failed. I questioned her about drugs and replied "I get high with the girls once and awhile." Fuck that, I knew there was more to the story. This was around thanksgiving time... So one afternoon (4pm) I'm leaving work and had like 20 plus phone calls from my neighbors (couldn't have my phone where I worked.) So I called my buddy back and ask him whats up. I get home and NOTHING and I mean NOTHING was in my apartment. No couch, clothes, NOTHING was left in there. She apparently met some guy while getting high and they bounced. She robbed me of everything I had. I literally only had my work clothes left.

I didnt hear from her for 3 years, and even her family couldn't get in touch with her. I wanted to kill both of them but my dad talked some sense into me.

So... she robbed me, became a junkie with some older ass lowlife, and has a kid now, and kind of fucked up my life foe awhile.

Now her parents show up at my door and give me a letter she wrote. I didn't want to read it but my pops said I should at least her what she has to say. By the way my dad is the fucking man haha. She went on for pages saying that she fucked me over, fucked up her life with drugs, ruined our relationship and the best thing she ever had. You know all the stuff people say when they are getting clean. Now she is in rehab for 6 months and her kid is living with her parents. She wants to know if I could forgive her and maybe be friends? Then it goes on to say the friendship could move into a relationship like it should have in the first place.

Right now I have a fuck you attitude and don't want NOTHING to do with her, plan and simple. I just wanted to ask everyone's opinion but I have a feeling you guys are going to agree with me on this one.
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she made her bed let her lie in it. cut all ties and leave the past in the past
 
Brotha from my experience, you have moved on to BIGGER and better things! The question is "DO YOU LOVE HER AND WANT HER BACK?"

Too me, if she did it once she can do it again... I'm glad to hear she is in a rehab for 6 months! She should of stop when she became a MOTHER! Remember a women has to carry and baby for 9 MONTHS, that means staying clean and sober! To keep the baby nice and health. Rehab is only half of the journey... What are her plans when she gets out? What goals does she have for the future besides trying to get back with you... These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself and her...

Hope that helps
 
That's tough bro. I was in a relationship for 4 years and she cheated on me with some douche. I actually caught her by calculating the miles she drove on the Progressive Snap Shot lol. She told me she was going to work and I knew the mileage to her work and I would see she drove a lot less, not even in the same ballpark, and the car started and shut off when she should be at work. Ten years is a long time! I can't imagine that but one of my best friends had the same thing happen. She left him twice, once taking everything. They eventually ended up together and are still together but I'm sure he still has thoughts of her pulling the disappearing act suddenly. I would be more inclined to take her back in your situation after being together 10 years but the kid is a game changer. Now you not only have to take care of her but a kid that isn't yours and will only remind you of the time she took off on you. Tough situation. Just my two cents. Good luck!
 
It takes a big man to turn the other cheek.
I have to remind myself all the time. Bitterness will eat you alive. You have to let it go and move on.
In this case, If you can find it in your heart to forgive her, then do so. That's not to say that you shouldn't be guarded when she's around. Your forgiveness could help her stay on her path.
 
Wow brother! I bet u did not see that one comin. That is an extremely tough situation ... I'm gonna tentatively agree with Basskiller on this one. Its easy for us guys to keep the hate going ... personally it keeps me warm in the winter lol .... but it takes a bigger man to forgive. I won't say forget because something like that will probably always be in the back of your head. Making amends with the people she's fucked over is part of the process for a recovering addict, so u could very well help to keep her on that path. I'm not sure I would be anything other than outwardly civil/friendly toward her. Quite honestly, theres a TON of fish out there who would be much better candidates for a girlfriend or potential wife. Hate to say it but she's kinda tainted goods now as far as being a "keeper". You are just starting out your career at a CHICK MAGNET job and you're hella young bro .... you're going to come across all kinds of quality women in the next few years. I'd say its cool to forgive and be friendly even but don't let her in the comfort zone again ... that's my 2 cents ;-)
 
Man that's a tough one bro. 10 years is a very long time. What Basskiller said is true, it takes a big man to turn the other cheek. It's been 3 years now. You've probably moved on with your life, at least with regards to your emotional attachment to her. However she was something special to you. She screwed you over and now she's trying to make things right. Yes, as part of her rehab but that's ok. That's a good thing.

It's very difficult to give advice about this being far outside of it, however, my knee jerk reaction is to give her the room and help her make things right, accept her apology, don't hate on her and move on. You can let her clear her conscience and be part of her healing while still keeping yourself strong and on your own path. So giving her the little she's looking for so she can heal and grow may also help you heal and grow.
 
Dude stay away and keep moving forward... I could give you a long diatribe from a clinical perspective but I will save you the painfully long diagnosis. Long story short she has her family to help her recover and you dont need it. She will never be the same girl she was and you dont need the heartache. If you think you need to talk alittle more about it hit me up but I would advise you to stay away for both of your sakes.
 
Not saying its easy but keep on moving foward with your life . Be happy for her and her family that she is getting the help she needs but that is it . It sounds like alot of drama and old emotions will be coming back and thats to much to put on your plate . Continue doing the things that YOU need to do to be happy and hopefully she does the same . I just see lots and lots of drama if you choose to go backwards my friend .
 
I'm thinking you should be her friend and give her guarded support and encouragement. You could make the difference between her succeeding or not. Let's face it, most addicts eventually fall back, or at least relapse. I know you are at a good point in your life. NO WAY should you re-enter into a relationship with her.
 
IML Gear Cream!
Love is a powerful thing, there is no way to control it. If you somehow found it in your heart to possibly forgive her for her actions in the past, and never bring it up again in the future, then you are a mans man bro. But if you can't, that is also very acceptable. Like JD mentioned, at least be there for her emotionally. Not physically or financially. Never past that point unless it is in your heart to do so, and you can do it with a clear conscious...
 
I would try to forgive her (for your sake I swear it really is better to let it go) but I would keep my distance. She isn't at the making amends part of sobriety yet. That letter is about her and her distress and her going into rehab etc etc blahblahblah. Ten years is a long time and I'm sure this relationship hasn't had its last chapter written but there is no need for you to be part of her early sobriety and it is probably a very bad idea for both of you.
 
First off, there is no way I would forgive her, that's just me. She shit all over you, and for you to tell her all is well now is crazy talk!

But, having said that, you should be a good person and let her know you are happy she got her life together. And leave it at that.

You seem like a young guy with a lot going for you, getting into a relationship with a former drug addict (who could relapse) that has a kid from a previous relationship is just not for you.
 
I really appreciate everyone's opinion! I'm a little torn with this situation, because I was completely caught off guard. I talked to her parents today for 2 hours and they gave me their opinion also. The mom wants me to reconnect and try to forgive her and help with the recovery process. Her dad told me to keep moving on and not look in the past. I was surprised to hear that from her dad, but he has the tough love attitude right now.

They are calling me back later tonight to talk more. I'll keep everyone in the know and might be asking for more opinions on things. Like I already stated thanks for the advice!
 
i agree with with what others are saying, you should have nothing to do wit her sobriety and getting her life on track. once she does and is clean and g2g then you could start the friends thing if you want..are the old feelings coming back??
 
GrumpysEdge said:
Brotha from my experience, you have moved on to BIGGER and better things! The question is "DO YOU LOVE HER AND WANT HER BACK?"

Too me, if she did it once she can do it again... I'm glad to hear she is in a rehab for 6 months! She should of stop when she became a MOTHER! Remember a women has to carry and baby for 9 MONTHS, that means staying clean and sober! To keep the baby nice and health. Rehab is only half of the journey... What are her plans when she gets out? What goals does she have for the future besides trying to get back with you... These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself and her...

Hope that helps
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rippedgolfer said:
That's tough bro. I was in a relationship for 4 years and she cheated on me with some douche. I actually caught her by calculating the miles she drove on the Progressive Snap Shot lol. She told me she was going to work and I knew the mileage to her work and I would see she drove a lot less, not even in the same ballpark, and the car started and shut off when she should be at work. Ten years is a long time! I can't imagine that but one of my best friends had the same thing happen. She left him twice, once taking everything. They eventually ended up together and are still together but I'm sure he still has thoughts of her pulling the disappearing act suddenly. I would be more inclined to take her back in your situation after being together 10 years but the kid is a game changer. Now you not only have to take care of her but a kid that isn't yours and will only remind you of the time she took off on you. Tough situation. Just my two cents. Good luck!
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basskiller said:
It takes a big man to turn the other cheek.
I have to remind myself all the time. Bitterness will eat you alive. You have to let it go and move on.
In this case, If you can find it in your heart to forgive her, then do so. That's not to say that you shouldn't be guarded when she's around. Your forgiveness could help her stay on her path.
Click to expand...

Streettime said:
Wow brother! I bet u did not see that one comin. That is an extremely tough situation ... I'm gonna tentatively agree with Basskiller on this one. Its easy for us guys to keep the hate going ... personally it keeps me warm in the winter lol .... but it takes a bigger man to forgive. I won't say forget because something like that will probably always be in the back of your head. Making amends with the people she's fucked over is part of the process for a recovering addict, so u could very well help to keep her on that path. I'm not sure I would be anything other than outwardly civil/friendly toward her. Quite honestly, theres a TON of fish out there who would be much better candidates for a girlfriend or potential wife. Hate to say it but she's kinda tainted goods now as far as being a "keeper". You are just starting out your career at a CHICK MAGNET job and you're hella young bro .... you're going to come across all kinds of quality women in the next few years. I'd say its cool to forgive and be friendly even but don't let her in the comfort zone again ... that's my 2 cents ;-)
Click to expand...

DaMaster said:
Man that's a tough one bro. 10 years is a very long time. What Basskiller said is true, it takes a big man to turn the other cheek. It's been 3 years now. You've probably moved on with your life, at least with regards to your emotional attachment to her. However she was something special to you. She screwed you over and now she's trying to make things right. Yes, as part of her rehab but that's ok. That's a good thing.

It's very difficult to give advice about this being far outside of it, however, my knee jerk reaction is to give her the room and help her make things right, accept her apology, don't hate on her and move on. You can let her clear her conscience and be part of her healing while still keeping yourself strong and on your own path. So giving her the little she's looking for so she can heal and grow may also help you heal and grow.
Click to expand...

velociraptor44 said:
Dude stay away and keep moving forward... I could give you a long diatribe from a clinical perspective but I will save you the painfully long diagnosis. Long story short she has her family to help her recover and you dont need it. She will never be the same girl she was and you dont need the heartache. If you think you need to talk alittle more about it hit me up but I would advise you to stay away for both of your sakes.
Click to expand...

murf23 said:
Not saying its easy but keep on moving foward with your life . Be happy for her and her family that she is getting the help she needs but that is it . It sounds like alot of drama and old emotions will be coming back and thats to much to put on your plate . Continue doing the things that YOU need to do to be happy and hopefully she does the same . I just see lots and lots of drama if you choose to go backwards my friend .
Click to expand...

jerseydevil said:
I'm thinking you should be her friend and give her guarded support and encouragement. You could make the difference between her succeeding or not. Let's face it, most addicts eventually fall back, or at least relapse. I know you are at a good point in your life. NO WAY should you re-enter into a relationship with her.
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Ezskanken said:
Love is a powerful thing, there is no way to control it. If you somehow found it in your heart to possibly forgive her for her actions in the past, and never bring it up again in the future, then you are a mans man bro. But if you can't, that is also very acceptable. Like JD mentioned, at least be there for her emotionally. Not physically or financially. Never past that point unless it is in your heart to do so, and you can do it with a clear conscious...
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AgentYes said:
I would try to forgive her (for your sake I swear it really is better to let it go) but I would keep my distance. She isn't at the making amends part of sobriety yet. That letter is about her and her distress and her going into rehab etc etc blahblahblah. Ten years is a long time and I'm sure this relationship hasn't had its last chapter written but there is no need for you to be part of her early sobriety and it is probably a very bad idea for both of you.
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Skip Foursome said:
First off, there is no way I would forgive her, that's just me. She shit all over you, and for you to tell her all is well now is crazy talk!

But, having said that, you should be a good person and let her know you are happy she got her life together. And leave it at that.

You seem like a young guy with a lot going for you, getting into a relationship with a former drug addict (who could relapse) that has a kid from a previous relationship is just not for you.
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topspeed300km said:
i agree with with what others are saying, you should have nothing to do wit her sobriety and getting her life on track. once she does and is clean and g2g then you could start the friends thing if you want..are the old feelings coming back??
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I can't express to you guys/gals how much I appreciate your opinions on this subject! I didn't sleep for shit last night because this is all I thought about. I spoke with her parents today and they offered to pay for plane tickets and a hotel if I wanted to go visit her. They know I loved that girl and would have done anything for her but thats not how I feel these days. It took me well over a year to let the feelings go and realize I had to move on. Do I still love her? No. Do I still care for her? Yes, I have known her since we were 12 years old. I would have gave her the world if I could but now I can't give her my time.

I am going to sit down and write a letter to her this week. I will express how I feel about everything and I know she won't like it, oh well. She needs to focus on her recovery so she can provide for her and her son. As of right now I can't have her problems in my life. I have come way too far and have too much going for me. Is there a possibility to be friends again? Sure, I do care for her and want to see her move forward and live a good life. I just don't see a relationship at all but she made that choice when she left.

Am I being to cold to her? Does she actually need to talk and vent her feeling also? I'm asking because I have never been in this type of situation. Thanks again!
 
GrumpysEdge said:
Brotha from my experience, you have moved on to BIGGER and better things! The question is "DO YOU LOVE HER AND WANT HER BACK?"

Too me, if she did it once she can do it again... I'm glad to hear she is in a rehab for 6 months! She should of stop when she became a MOTHER! Remember a women has to carry and baby for 9 MONTHS, that means staying clean and sober! To keep the baby nice and health. Rehab is only half of the journey... What are her plans when she gets out? What goals does she have for the future besides trying to get back with you... These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself and her...

Hope that helps
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^this

also remember that you have impacted her life and she inside can learn the correct things.. People remember the good and the bad bro. She has a kid with someone else..Im sure you would want your own child with the girl you are currently or next to be with.. She is in the past. I am sure you already know the best way to go is to keep on, most of the time people do ask questions and know the answer(with all do respect bro) She needs to be more worried in life on being a Mother than who she is suppose to be friends with or with in general. Your a better person and she was just someone that you didnt bind well at the end with.. They say in life that you come a cross 5 true people weather its friends, or a girlfriend.. Those 5 people could take until your 30 or even much later in life.. eventually people show true colors.. She didnt make those 5 people you can count on your hands.. Being friends and cordial is one thing but putting effort more than that is another.. I say you continue to move in the direction life is taking you without going back down the stairs.
 
velociraptor44 said:
Dude stay away and keep moving forward... I could give you a long diatribe from a clinical perspective but I will save you the painfully long diagnosis. Long story short she has her family to help her recover and you dont need it. She will never be the same girl she was and you dont need the heartache. If you think you need to talk alittle more about it hit me up but I would advise you to stay away for both of your sakes.
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This and I cannot stress enough this. I have 3 cousins, actually all from the same family, that are addicts and they have all been to rehab multiple times and they all will relapse again (one just did bad and is going to jail, my sympathy is zero he's an asshole). She will never repay the debt monetarily nor emotionally she caused and she is bringing all that baggage with her. Past some verbal support that you are happy she got clean and hope she does, walk away. You have no obligation to help her, she used you and stole from you, its going to happen again. It's not about being emotionally detached or cold shoulder, whatever you want to say, it's called reality. She will never change and her problems long ago moved on from your responsibility.
 
Nocode8511 said:
... Am I being to cold to her? Does she actually need to talk and vent her feeling also? I'm asking because I have never been in this type of situation. Thanks again!
Click to expand...

Bro, if YOU need space from her and what happened, then YOU need the space. You have to allow yourself to feel what YOU need to feel and be good with it. It's a wonderful thing to take care of others. But you have to take care of yourself too.

I remember a lesson I got many moons ago when I was training to be a lifeguard. I was having trouble saving another guard during a training day. He was a huge rugby player and was playing an "active victim" - one that would fight you while you're trying to save them. Why would they do that? Because they're panicking and they're trying to climb on top of you to save them selves, but in the process you drown. He told me to pull away and let them be. If they won't let you help them, then they'll only drag you down with them. Both of us drowning is no good. They'll get tired eventually then I can swim over and help them ashore. Or they drown... but I don't drown with them. I've taken that lesson into the rest of my life. I have a friend that was so down and out nothing I did, or the rest of our friends did, made a difference. He had to reach his bottom and decide, for himself, that his life needed to change. Then we were able to help him.

She may want to talk to clear her conscious, to make amends for what she did. You know what? That's awesome! However if it takes more out of you than you're prepared to give then YOU are not ready for that and you shouldn't feel guilted into it either. On theother hand if you WANT to help but not get back into a relationship, and think you can help, then by all means do so.

Basically you're allowed to have feelings here too. You're allowed to take care of your soul, your heart and your well being just as much as she does.
 
So she was a junkie that robbed you of your money every chance she could? then fucked around behind your back?

That's almost unforgivable in my book. I can forgive people but there's not a chance in hell I would have anything to do with that woman after that. If she truly loved you she would NEVER do something like that to you regardless. Now she knows she fucked up and wants what she had, not a chance.
 
Get Shredded!
DaMaster said:
Bro, if YOU need space from her and what happened, then YOU need the space. You have to allow yourself to feel what YOU need to feel and be good with it. It's a wonderful thing to take care of others. But you have to take care of yourself too.

I remember a lesson I got many moons ago when I was training to be a lifeguard. I was having trouble saving another guard during a training day. He was a huge rugby player and was playing an "active victim" - one that would fight you while you're trying to save them. Why would they do that? Because they're panicking and they're trying to climb on top of you to save them selves, but in the process you drown. He told me to pull away and let them be. If they won't let you help them, then they'll only drag you down with them. Both of us drowning is no good. They'll get tired eventually then I can swim over and help them ashore. Or they drown... but I don't drown with them. I've taken that lesson into the rest of my life. I have a friend that was so down and out nothing I did, or the rest of our friends did, made a difference. He had to reach his bottom and decide, for himself, that his life needed to change. Then we were able to help him.

She may want to talk to clear her conscious, to make amends for what she did. You know what? That's awesome! However if it takes more out of you than you're prepared to give then YOU are not ready for that and you shouldn't feel guilted into it either. On theother hand if you WANT to help but not get back into a relationship, and think you can help, then by all means do so.

Basically you're allowed to have feelings here too. You're allowed to take care of your soul, your heart and your well being just as much as she does.
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Well said.. Honestly DM is a very smart guy I have came to conclude.. He knows his stuff.. Seems he has placed in his time from experience.. He wont guide you wrong, then again you wont learn until you do for yourself.. You honestly never know whats on the other side until you try.. In the end your going to do what you want but keep in mind. DM is damn on point in many aspects.. Smart dude right there bro.
 
Well, I just finished writing a long ass letter. It was pretty much a bitch session of me telling her off about what she did, and how she fucked both of us over. I kept it simple and got straight to the point with her needing to focus on getting her act together. Job, taking care of her kid, etc. and then MAYBE we could be friends (to a point.) Literally how I wrote that lol... I summed it up with saying we may be friends in the future but at this point in my life I don't ever see us getting back together. Too much happened for me to forgive and forget. Momma didn't raise no fool :nono: I also called her parents (who I actually like and respect - feelings mutual) to not contact me about her no more. If I wanted to talk to her I'll get in touch.

Thank you all for the advice, greatly appreciated!
 
DaMaster said:
Bro, if YOU need space from her and what happened, then YOU need the space. You have to allow yourself to feel what YOU need to feel and be good with it. It's a wonderful thing to take care of others. But you have to take care of yourself too.

I remember a lesson I got many moons ago when I was training to be a lifeguard. I was having trouble saving another guard during a training day. He was a huge rugby player and was playing an "active victim" - one that would fight you while you're trying to save them. Why would they do that? Because they're panicking and they're trying to climb on top of you to save them selves, but in the process you drown. He told me to pull away and let them be. If they won't let you help them, then they'll only drag you down with them. Both of us drowning is no good. They'll get tired eventually then I can swim over and help them ashore. Or they drown... but I don't drown with them. I've taken that lesson into the rest of my life. I have a friend that was so down and out nothing I did, or the rest of our friends did, made a difference. He had to reach his bottom and decide, for himself, that his life needed to change. Then we were able to help him.

She may want to talk to clear her conscious, to make amends for what she did. You know what? That's awesome! However if it takes more out of you than you're prepared to give then YOU are not ready for that and you shouldn't feel guilted into it either. On theother hand if you WANT to help but not get back into a relationship, and think you can help, then by all means do so.

Basically you're allowed to have feelings here too. You're allowed to take care of your soul, your heart and your well being just as much as she does.
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Boom.

Complete agreement.

As far as what she needs - if it is any comfort NO she doesnt need ANYTHING from anyone to do what she needs to do. She is damn lucky to have her parents supporting her that is more than enough for her to get sober. And a son that needs her? No she doesnt need to vent her feelings it makes no difference in her getting sober or not getting sober. She is going to do what she is going to do regardless of what any old boyfriend thinks or says. Only time will tell what that is, she may turn her life around - stranger things have happened.
 
Yup, 100% agree.

I really hope she gets her shit together. She was the last person I thought would get high on shit. Only time will tell but she makes her own decisions.
 
Nocode8511 said:
Well, I just finished writing a long ass letter. It was pretty much a bitch session of me telling her off about what she did, and how she fucked both of us over. I kept it simple and got straight to the point with her needing to focus on getting her act together. Job, taking care of her kid, etc. and then MAYBE we could be friends (to a point.) Literally how I wrote that lol... I summed it up with saying we may be friends in the future but at this point in my life I don't ever see us getting back together. Too much happened for me to forgive and forget. Momma didn't raise no fool :nono: I also called her parents (who I actually like and respect - feelings mutual) to not contact me about her no more. If I wanted to talk to her I'll get in touch.

Thank you all for the advice, greatly appreciated!
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Good for you bro
 
Nicely done brother, good for you. Hopefully she does get her shit together for her sake and her kid's ... but ultimately not your problemo! Put that heavy bag to use bro ... beating the dog snot out of something is grossly underestimated as a therapeutic outlet ;-)
 
you handled that like a pro. drugs are a very selfish lifestyle and she again needs to focus entirely on herself to curb the addiction .her parents you or her own son all have to be secondary to the problems she face. addiction sucks... she'll be fine if she so chooses to be, otherwise you did what was right for you right now. congrats..
 
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